Tag: naughty kids

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Family

Attitude Galore

I know that this kid is much younger than the girls and is not the twins. I just wanted a picture that conveys annoyance, being angry and upset. Sometimes the kids are like this regardless of their age.
I know that this kid is much younger than the girls and is not the twins. I just wanted a picture that conveys annoyance, being angry and upset. Sometimes the kids are like this regardless of their age.

Note: I wrote this yesterday in order to post today. Today the twins have been extremely good and I have hardly raised my voice. Not sure why they are being so good or what they want but I am just accepting the nice behaviour as lately it is a rare occurrence (Maybe they knew that I was writing this and are being good). One kid cleaned the living room, folded the clothes and put them away. She also wrote me a note saying that she loved me and had a glass of water waiting for me to drink. Very nice indeed.

 

Now to more of what has been the norm around here and to see if it is happening to you as well.

I know that this kid is much younger than the girls and is not the twins. I just wanted a picture that conveys annoyance, being angry and upset. Sometimes the kids are like this regardless of their age.
I know that this kid is much younger than the girls and is not the twins. I just wanted a picture that conveys annoyance, being angry and upset. Sometimes the kids are like this regardless of their age.

What is it with the twins lately?

Any time I open my mouth to ask them to do something or see what is going on and I get attitude!

Yep I kid you not.

I get told the following and it does not matter from which kid:

“Leave us alone!”

“You don’t need to know”

“It is none of your business”

Mind you this is all said to me with the grumpiest of voices and faces, plus it gets yelled at me or screamed like a banshee is yelling, not my children.

Could it be the age?

The twins are nearly nine and lately been wanting more independence. I like to walk them to school after I park the car but the girls have been asking me to park further away and let them walk the rest of the way. One kid said she wanted to “look like a big girl”.

The girls can do a lot of things on their own and some that I wish they would do is help put things away in the house, tidy their room and help when asked. However it seems like it is a fight to get them to do anything or listen at all.

One kid helped Daddy on our land putting up a silt fence. She worked so hard and even got blisters on her hands from putting up the fencing. She did a good days work. However if you ask her to pick something that she left on the floor up, this will be completely ignored.

Is Mummy Invisible?

I could be right next to one kid and ask them to pick something up or put something away and they will not hear me. Most likely ignoring me to see if I will forget about it. (Not likely!)

The same could be when either child wants to pick up things to take to the kitchen. I ask them to wait and tell them to take more than one item to the kitchen. (This makes sense doesn’t it. Why take one item to the kitchen and have to do several trips rather than one trip). While I am asking this child to wait they are already walking away from me. I have to repeat about four to five times to get them to come back and do the job correctly.)

Why is it that as soon as I organise some wonderful treat for the kids they turn into little nightmares. I pay and get tickets for fun events and the kids act horribly towards me during and after the event. Maybe I should not bother! Why does this happen? It is very annoying and stressful to have this constantly occur.

This happened last Monday when I took the twins, baby and myself off to see Despicable Me 3. They were good to a point and then turned into rude and horrible little people. Yelling at me to give them money for the arcade. Telling me that we were staying when I had already told them we were going home. I ended up going home and the kids ended up in their room until it was clean. Once the room was clean and they were behaving themselves they got lunch and could come out of their room.

Does this happen to you? You organise some fabulous outings for the kids for them to just be annoying and horrible about the whole thing. I have told my kids that if their silly behaviour continues they will be spending more and more time in their room. Geez lets hope it gets tidy if this happens.

It is frustrating when you are constantly repeating yourself, and feel like everything is a fight to get even a small thing done. After getting something achieved I feel exhausted as it has taken a lot of energy.

I feel like I need a drink and then a lie down. Maybe a G & T would be perfect after this type of carry on.

This is me, pretending the silly behaviour is not happening. I am also trying to get some quiet and alone time with no noise.
This is me, pretending the silly behaviour is not happening. I am also trying to get some quiet and alone time with no noise.

My Techniques to Help

I have explained to the kids that I am the only one that organises all the fun things for them due to the fact that I am the primary care giver. If the kids muck up they will not have fun and instead be watching the paint on the wall in their room.

One of my techniques to help the twins understand is to put it into context for them.

  • I asked if the girls would want to be friends with someone that once you did something nice for them ignored you? They said no.
  • I then asked if they would be happy if they got tickets to a fabulous event and then their friend complained every second they were at this event. Would they be happy about this? They said no.
  • After going to the movies and being told that there is only a certain flavour of chips available, and not accepting any alternatives. The actions of this child is screaming and crying. I then asked if they were taking their friend to the movies and this happened would they be happy about it. The kids said no.
  • When we go out and end up at a restaurant and the kids don’t like the food options. The reactions are hysterical meltdowns that are just crazy and horrible. I told the kids that we cannot control what the restaurant serves and they need to be more adventurous and try new foods. They agree but then don’t.  I asked if this happened to them how would they feel? Both girls told me that they would be unhappy and upset.

It seems that they understand how their behaviour is making me feel and that it is not nice. The twins acknowledge that they don’t want to be treated like this.

I then said then, “Why is it okay to treat mummy like this?”

Then I get the all encompassing answer, “I don’t know!”

Well I know they are being naughty and not nice and mostly to me and to me alone.

I told them that I don’t like being treated like this either. I don’t like doing nice things for kids who are not nice back.

So unless they can be nice, no fun things will happen.

I have also tried their silly answer to everything back at them. If they ask when dinner is happening I say, “I don’t know”, if I get asked if they can watch TV, I say, “I don’t know”, if I get asked what are we doing today, I then say, “I don’t know”.

I think you get the message. I know sometimes you don’t know and that is fine but this cannot be the answer to everything… maybe it is the other answer to life, the universe and everything?

The Twins Seem to be Better When Separated

Hubby and I noticed the other day that each child is much better behaved when they are on their own. Once they are together the silliness takes over and more naughty vibrations travel between them and they become extremely naughty. Would it be the twin connection?  Have you experienced this?

It is a pity that there are not a lot of opportunity to have more one on one time with each child. We are planning to do more of this on the weekends but it is harder during the week when I am the only care giver and therefore the kids are with me.

Let us know what is working for you?

Have you found it is the age that your children are at?

The twins are seeking more independence and I suppose due to the fact the girls are identical, they are making themselves different from their sister. 

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Categories
Family

Can mummy have a holiday now?

Don't disturb mummy needs some peace and quiet.
Don't disturb mummy needs some peace and quiet.

School has now been back one week and things have gone back to normal, by normal I mean that all the organised events have started and we must be at places at certain times now. In holidays, you can just do whatever you want and choose to stay at home or to not be somewhere if you don’t want to.  I have cut back on after school activities this year to try and have a calmer and easier time. Last year I was madly racing around and the only free day we had was Thursday. Crazy if you ask me.

Lately the kids have been acting crazy and more than usual.

  • Is it the age they are at?
  • Why are they not listening?
  • Why don’t they hear me when I am right next to them?
  • Why is it such a chore to get anyone to do anything or listen to me!
  • Why am I constantly getting ignored? Oh, it is so frustrating when you must constantly repeat yourself.
  • Another issue that is happening is that the twins are never answering me or hubby when we ask them a question. They just never answer. So, you repeat the question. This then leads to nothing again. Ohhhhhh the frustration when kids never answer you. Do you have this happen to? Why do you think they never answer you? I asked and they seem to be able to do this at school. I then asked why it cannot happen at home. The response was, home is different and that is why we don’t. Interesting!
Don't disturb mummy needs some peace and quiet.
Don’t disturb mummy needs some peace and quiet.

Is the reason they are defying me and not listening due to more independence? They do think that they can do whatever they want and this is met with a BIG NO from me. Of course, they can do things that they can do but I don’t allow them to do whatever they want. I have boundaries and rules like any parent.

You can imagine that during the nearly six weeks of school holidays I was driven mad or to a near walking dead zombie of my previous self. Having kids racing everywhere and anywhere, always on the go and not listening when you are telling them no really exhausts you.

My whole being is tired.

All my cells need time to rest and relax.

My brain needs quiet time for mummy to think and to refocus.

The twins being back at school and the baby being at childcare has allowed some time for me. However, this I find is not enough. I think I really need a vacation away from everything.

The school day is short. Drop off at 8.55am and pick up at 2.55pm so that is not a full day at all. If you must be at school for an event, then it is an even shorter day.

When the baby goes to care that is great as then all three kids are having fun and mummy can do what she has been desperate to do.  I could be drooling over getting the house tidy, doing work on the blog or just some quiet time for me.

Lately I have just liked the fact that I can come home and sit in an empty house. This house has no noise, no kids yelling MUMMY at the top of their lungs and the yelling and carrying on that happens when they are fighting which seems like is every minute.

 

I’m so over it. I am fed up.

I want all the craziness to end. I want a peaceful household and for people to listen when they are spoken to.

Why is this so hard to have this happen? I don’t understand!

 

I make a cup of coffee or tea and just stare at the wall or watch the television to chill out while relaxing and calming down. It gives me some time to just do nothing and then I can do whatever I need to do.

 

I’ve been drooling over the whole idea of a mums only holiday. I would go away to a retreat and not come back for a while. Not sure how long but would love to stay for a few weeks at the very least. I don’t think a few hours a day really allows your body to de-stress and to calm down after having six weeks of crazy.

I seem to have the constant white noise in my head. The noise is also the constant conversations and arguments that have just been. I find that my brain keeps them for a while and they go around and around until they are no more. I know I cannot be the only one that has this happen to them.

Some of the things that I do to chill out:

  • Make sure I have some quiet time for just me
  • Do nothing for a while
  • Meditate
  • Take baths
  • If I cannot take a bath, I have a soothing hot shower to relax.
  • Take walks (I do like to take them on my own but if I cannot I take the baby in the pram)
  • Change of scenery. I like to have a cup of coffee out at a café to make me feel good.
  • I do like to go to the movies on my own. This way no one is yelling or creating an issue when mummy wants to watch her much anticipated film. (I am wanting to do this now that Alexander is in care)
  • Clean up the house a bit so that it is more in order. I like to try and have things sorted. Currently things are a mess and that does not help with my mood so tidying up is on the list to do.

Do you find that you need more time on your own to unwind? Do you feel that the little time you get is not enough?

Other than being gifted a retreat holiday for one or winning the lotto to go, I make do with the small things that I can do at home. How do you chill out as a busy and stressed out mumma.

Let us know.

Categories
Family

Six More Mondays Till Xmas!

This time last year I was super organised. I had presents all sorted, some purchased and even some wrapped up ready for Christmas Day. I was a planning and organising machine.  I was all over it and made sure no one got forgotten. (One other mum asked me in September last year if I had sorted the kids Christmas presents. I gasped with shock at this comment. Why would I get their Christmas gifts sorted when they just had their birthday? She said that she had kids in December and since I was due to have Alexander in January and we had no idea if he would come in Dec/Jan it might be best to get things sorted just in case I ended up in hospital. Geez I had not thought about this. At first I thought I had plenty of time and how silly to be doing it in September. Although I looked at the calendar and due to being very pregnant thought I best get organised.)

Now the same time this year I am not in a super organised state. I have a few gifts purchased and none for immediate family only a gift here and there for my husbands family so far.

Nothing has been purchased for the kids so far.

I hear you gasp in the disbelief of this comment. However it is very true

So why am I not on the ball this year? Well I have not been motivated due to the kids being very naughty and horrible. Every time I do something lovely for them they act like terrors straight after and make me wish I shouldn’t have bothered. Does this happen to you?

Today is the 11th of November and that means that there is only 6 more Mondays to go before it is Christmas! Yes you read that right! Not long to go now.

I have even added the friendly text “DON’T PANIC” so it might calm you down. Yes very Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

DON'T PANIC - There are only 6 more Mondays until Christmas Day! Yes you read that right. Not long to go at all!
DON’T PANIC – There are only 6 more Mondays until Christmas Day! Yes you read that right. Not long to go at all!

 

Are you the type of person who purchases Christmas presents all year?

I sometimes do this. I see something that is perfect for someone and buy it and squirrel it away. One issue with this technique is that you need to remember where you have hidden the presents. You don’t want to be in a panic and have to race out and get a few new gifts due to not being able to find your clever organised gifts that you of course cannot find.

Or do you do all the shopping in the few weeks before Christmas Day?

Maybe you like to race around the shops on Christmas Eve and get the last minute specials. I for one would hate fighting the traffic and the people if shopping on Christmas Eve, that would be annoying.

I have seen some items for the kids but they are so expensive and of course we would need to get two of them so I dismiss them, then of course they turn evil and then my nice thoughts of going Christmas gift shopping has been sidelined to annoyance and why was I bothering at all.

This has been uttered more than twice from me to the kids, “If you don’t start listening and behaving Christmas is going to be cancelled!” Yes bad mother alert here. Have you threatened to cancel Christmas? Let me know if you did and how that worked out?

Don’t get me wrong I am not a scrooge. I love this time of year, the holidays and giving to others. The one thing that is driving me mental is that I race around doing for everyone and don’t seem to get much in return. Yes I have my cranky pants on today, maybe the cranky pants have been cleaned and worn again due to the constant drama in our house at the moment. Don’t think that I never clean my pants due to being cranky a lot! (I just had to put that in here)

Kermit helping decorate the tree for Christmas. He has done a great job don't you think?
Kermit helping decorate the tree for Christmas. He has done a great job don’t you think?

Is it the age that the kids just ignore you? Don’t listen? Race off and never come back when they are called? Hurt each other and more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As you can see I am not a happy camper with the idea of rushing off to reward little peoples bad behaviour. I do think that it is the fact that they are so tired due to it being the end of the year, they are super excited about holidays, being in a new grade next year and of course Christmas. Do you find that your kids go a bit silly at the end of the year?

There is still time to get a few gifts for the kids before the actual day. I am just wondering what to give my darling girls this year. I don’t want little toys that will get lost and also cost a fortune. I don’t want more stuffed teddies as they have so many already, they don’t need more dolls although they have asked for some. I could get them more LEGO but they might get annoyed it is not something different. I do like to get them a set of LEGO to add to their collection (due to the fact they both love to create LEGO I like to make sure they have enough to share, hence adding to the collection).

I have been asked to get horse or a kitten, we will not be getting a horse due to space and costs but the kitten will have to wait until we are in our new house.

Are you organised for this Christmas?

Have you had to deal with kids being naughty and not behaving? Do you tell them to act nicer or else they might not get pressies on Christmas Day?

Let us know what you do to make things easier this time of year.

Categories
Family

Crazy Kids Last Sunday

Last Sunday the kids were shocking. Yes really naughty, not listening to mummy or daddy and just out of sorts.

Was it the wind?

Was it the cold weather?

Was there a new moon happening?

I was not sure if it was any of these. I do know some say that if it is very windy kids act up. I do think this might be right as kids seem to be crazier if it is windy.

Did you have a hell day last Sunday? Hubby mentioned this to mates on Monday. They all said they had the same thing happen. Weird…..

Even the baby was out of sorts. Every time I put the baby down for a nap he would wake soon after. I spent the whole day with a baby that was super tired and did not sleep and twins that were running amok! The baby finally decided to sleep at 12:13am the next day and for the twins they eventually went to sleep at around 10pm Sunday night.

Also while hubby was at work he asked if a friend who has recently become a father had anything odd happen on Sunday. This person said that their baby did not settle all day as well and just did not want to sleep until it was similar time-frame as Alexander did that Sunday or by this stage you would call it Monday morning.

Let me know if you had something similar happen. I did meet up with an old friend and asked if her little boy who is five did something similar. She said he was out of sorts too. So it was not just us in our our area.

I would be very curious to learn if more people had this happen to them.

 

Categories
4 years and beyond

Have They Been Good Enough?

Kids are super excited about Easter and the impending Easter Bunny.  I have organised surprises for the twins, however they are getting into mischief and acting up a lot lately, which brings me to my question. Have they been good enough?

Daddy told the girls that if they did not stop mucking around he will call Mr Easter Bunny and tell him not to come to our house. You can imagine the chaos this ended with. Yes, tears, screams and I hate you was uttered a few times! I must say in our defense the girls have been little terrors, but is it just due to being four years old? I think so, who knows.

When they are out of line they get into trouble and get the appropriate punishment, however I think it feels like it is happening more than usual lately. Do you have those times? It does feel like all I do is punish someone or send someone to time out. Maybe it is the pushing the envelope that is the issue?

They seem to be pulling up their socks a little bit when they realised how close Easter really is, not sure if it is the lure of the chocolates or if they are trying to be good for goods sake. They are generally very good kids and understand when they are wrong, however it is more sister related issues. Pinching, and being on top of each other is wearing rather thin.

Do you have twins or triplets? Do they hurt or annoy their siblings when they want to be alone or not share a toy? I know it is hard being with each other all the time. I do try and have them do separate things however most of the time they want to be together. I am exhausted due to organising and dealing with all the carry on.

Is this something that have happen at your place?  Why not continue the discussion on our Twitter or Facebook pages.

Categories
4 years and beyond

Something in the air

Today the girls have been naughty little things. I don’t know if it is the moon, or where the sun was shining but something is happening. They did not do anything that was asked and just ruined and created havoc.

Next Tuesday the girls start back at pre-school, bring on term 4! I cannot wait to have some me time. Did your little ones run amok today? Was it just mine?

I managed to get out of the house with the girls and ventured to the park. They had turns on the swings, slippery dip and climbed on many things. They did have fun getting dirty, to mummies dismay as they were clean and showered.

After the park we went to visit some friends and then the girls played with their kids friends and so on. It was good; however they all told ghost stories and then it made the kids frightened to go to bed. Oh the joys.

Kids are finally passed out and sleeping soundly, to my relief. They have been for at least an hour and half now. Do you have days that the kids are all over the place? I do think it was due to a big day the day before. They were still tired but could not admit it or have a rest.

Send in your techniques for this very situation, calming unruly children who are tired but insist they are not. These very kids are getting into trouble and really should have a nap. Send in your comments.

Why not continue this discussion on our twitter or facebook pages.

Categories
3 years and beyond

Planet Pooh

Today the girls have had heaps of energy. We decided to have lunch outside as the day was so nice, not a cloud in the sky and lovely blue skies. Although not very warm it was warmer than it has been, the second day of spring is making me think that summer is going to be warm. Yes finally a warm summer to look forward to.

Now back to the girls. They were running riot, racing around from one end of the house to the other. Running races, kids were pretending to be rats – (they are rats in the Chinese Horoscope and we have told them this so now they play rats) while pretending to be rats daddy and mummy were referred to as mumma and dada rat.

Lillian then decided that she was a rocket and was flying around the garden; she then had to fly to the bathroom for a toilet stop. Once she flew back to the backyard she flew just past the clothes line and then announced she had run out of petrol. Thank goodness the chair next to her was a petrol station so she could fuel up and be on her way to “Planet Pooh!”

Daddy and I had no idea that Planet Pooh was in our backyard and that the girls had their own personal rockets to fly there at a moment’s notice.  Then all of a sudden, no more rockets and no more Planet Pooh, it was Mr Whippy. Lillian decided she was Mr Whippy and she got out the truck that their cousin gave them and zipped that around the yard as if she was off on deliveries.

Mr Whippy or Lillian did get upset at various times as her ice-creams were lost when her helpful assistant tried to clean the truck and melted the ice-creams. Then the girls swapped and Julia was Mr Whippy then Lillian was a customer.

The outside play today ended by the girls making mud and mud pies. As you might have imagined this ended with very messy kids and an annoyed daddy as he had to have them in the shower and clean the bathroom due to the mud. I suppose the kids were just trying to make him feel loved on Father’s Day.

We did have an incident at the supermarket when one of the girls lost it and had a temper tantrum, and this one child has been a sensitive little person all day. Maybe she is just very tired? I am hoping that they will just go to sleep without a hassle and not play the game of can I get a book, a drink, need to go to the bathroom every second and want to come out to tell you something that they have already told you a million times.

As I write this there has been another meltdown about a block. The same little girl who I believe is tried from yesterday is creating issues. We went to my nana’s (the girls GG) for lunch to celebrate her birthday. It was a long day and as there have been many meltdowns and problems I really think it is the fact she needs to have more sleep. Let’s hope this happens, currently she is in her room for time out as she was very naughty.

Have your kids had heaps of energy today? If so what have you done to exhaust them?  Has it worked? Send in your comments.

Categories
3 years and beyond

Moody Mornings

This morning kids were yelling and screaming. I entered their room to find both girls fighting over space in Julia’s bed. Last night they were both sleeping together, cuddling and sharing the same pillow. This is nice, however it creates issues. Lillian ended up taking over and leaving Julia no room. I put Julia in Lillian’s bed and a good night sleep was had, until the early morning screams this morning. Julia was most likely trying to claim back ownership of her bed, and Lillian did not want to budge. Why can’t they just sleep in their own beds!

So after we exited the bedroom and dealt with this argument I thought it might all be over, well at least for this morning. I was wrong!  Fights over toys, chairs and other things. Gosh and it is not even 9am yet. I am grateful that they are off to school today. Maybe they can burn energy there and when home they can just relax. I can live in hope. I hear you all laughing at this, yes I know it is not going to happen. 🙂

Both girls have had adequate sleep, although they are acting like they are tired. Maybe it is just a lot of activity at school and big days wear them out. Does this happen to you? I am finding we are getting more moody days and issues. Is it due to each child becoming more of an individual? Is it due to sharing things and parents all the time, this could be a part of it.

I really think both girls are trying to compete with each other, and not sharing is creating more problems. However this is all normal for their age and it is a stage that all kids and parents go through. This stage is exhausting and sometimes I wish I could just skip this stage altogether.

One site that comments on these types of behaviour is Totally Childcare, they have an article called, “Difficult Children – Moody, Disobedient, Naughty“, I think some of their points are good, see what you think.  Some articles that I have seen on the Internet suggest that there might be other issues, this might be so but not in our case.  I believe that it is down to kids not getting their way and reacting. What are your thoughts. Do you have some days that the tantrums start early?  How does this affect you as a mother? What are the magical ways that you deal with these moody and naughty issues. Send in your comments. Remember to vote for us for Best Australian Blog.

 

Categories
3 years and beyond

Oh Sugar

Yesterday we went out to get the laundry done at the Laundromat (washing machine is broken, have purchased a new one, but there is a 2 week wait).  It was a bit of a production to get everyone and the clothes to the laundromat, but this was achieved.  As it was Sunday no one was around, so we had our pick of the washing machines. I organised all the clothes and set up the washing machines to start, all 4 washing machines would have the laundry done in under 30mins. While we waited we all went off to get some food and other shopping.

The girls were a bit out of sorts as I think they were over tired. Saturday they spent the day with our friends while we were at a friend’s birthday party in the city. James and I had a great time and it was so nice to see our friends once again. Pity we could not carry on all night. We had a great day and enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.

We were told that the girls were very well behaved and good for our friends.  This was not the case yesterday. Sunday the girls were little monsters. Not only did they start the day tired, they just got worse as the day progressed. Biting, kicking, hitting, pushing and if you can think it, it probably happened yesterday.

After lunch I had a square of dark chocolate and the girls asked to have some too. I saw no harm in this as they have chocolate every now and then, and it was after lunch. I did not think about the ramifications of a sugar overload or effects on kids who hardly have sugar, but this I think was my downfall, as you will see by reading on…It was the chocolate I tell you.

The little monkeys were running up and down the hallway, getting toys all over the place and getting things out to play with left, right and centre. It was chaos. Julia was being incredibly naughty and James was trying to sort it out, however this was met with a very headstrong and upset Julia.  She tried to throw things at daddy and if they were not weighed down it might have done some damage. Lillian had the same annoyance and naughtiness bug hit her also, and she scratched daddy, he was unaware until she mentioned there was blood and she left to get a towel to fix it.

I needed to be online to talk to my group for university; we are doing our group assignment, so during this period James decided to take the kids to the park. I believe that this idea was for them to burn off energy and get tired, so they could go to bed. This however did not happen; when the girls came home they were more revved up than before.

We both looked at each other and were shaking our heads, what was wrong with the girls? What did they eat? What could be causing this burst of activity? It was then that I recalled that I gave them the chocolate. We think it was due to the chocolate that they were so all over the place.  Has this happened to you? Does your child act strange after sugary treats?

I was curious and decided to search the internet to see if sugar/chocolate can be responsible for this behaviour – From what I have read there appears to be no link. Two of the links are suggesting that it could be additives in the candy that kids eat, or it could be the way the body processes the refined sugar and how it eventually wears off.

I am not sure if sugar is responsible. I really think that the girls like anyone, get moody, upset and angry when over tired. Maybe the chocolate did not help. However, they hardly have chocolate and candy, they have it very sparingly.

What do you think? Is sugar causing kids to run wild? Does a spike in sugar make them turn into little monsters? What do you do when this happens at your household? Send in your comments. Remember to vote for us for Best Australian Blog.

Categories
3 years and beyond

Tired and naughty seem to go together

Do you find that on the days that kids are elsewhere, in school, being looked after by family or at friends, that you want to achieve so much. I find that I have many things that would like to do, but realise that my day is short. This is due to dropping kids off and picking them up and the realisation that I don’t have a full day, only the time between 9.15am and 2.45pm. This is a small window but a great moment to have the time to be by yourself and get some things done.

These things that I would like to get done is the following: Sewing, cleaning, tiding, university study, watching scary shows that I like but the kids would not, shopping for food as it is easier without kids, appointments if needed, exercising, catching up on missed sleep, and probably more should be on the list that I have not listed.

So yesterday as mentioned I managed to do some housework, go off for something for me (Yippeee) and also iron some shirts. Then just in time to get back in the car to pick up my lovely girls, although this lovely moment is short lived due to the lovely girls changing into naughty creatures, when I am reunited with the girls it is like they are just jumping off the walls, not listening and this makes me get very annoyed. They seem to have hit the naughty button and are firing on all cylinders.

I thought I was just over reacting about this change in events. I mentioned my thoughts to some friends on facebook, friends at playgroup and family. The consensus is that the child/children are relaxing by being at home and showing you their true self, this is also is not helped by being tired from a day full of school and action.

It is so hard to deal with the girls after school, I am saying NO! so much, making sure that they listen when I say NO, as they think it is all fun and games. I have had to take away chairs, carry little people out of rooms and take things away from them. Threaten an early bed time, tell them that we will finish the milk in the room while I read stories rather than watching the end of their favourite good night television show. Oh, how this is draining and stressful.

If you say don’t get another busicut they take matters in their own hands. Both girls work together, getting a chair, and making sure that it goes to the right spot, then one gets on the chair and hands the goods to the other. You get the idea. Very clever, but naughty.

Currently we live in a smallish house so no room to separate the girls, so the fact that they have each other keeps the action happening. I have also tried to separate them recently again when they were being very naughty and it did not work. I put Lillian in the lounge room and she managed to get out of the door, While Julia was working herself into a terrible mess for hours. I ended up letting Lillian back into the bedroom and Julia was hugging and kissing her. There is such a connection, Julia was pinning for Lillian and it goes the other way as well. On the whole they are good kids, I just feel that they get too revved up and it is hard to calm them down.

I do see that the girls are exhausted, so try and do things quietly, however that backfires when they run at such a pace all around the house and the yard. Today we were not in school, but had playgroup instead. They were all over the shop and I am very happy and like the fact that they are now sleeping. They did have a fun day, playing with toys and in the sandpit, just so active.

Do you find it difficult after you pick kids up from school? Are you counting the hours or minutes until you can put them to bed? What are your secrets for having a great time before kids go to bed? Do you have some great ideas – send them our way so we can all learn.  I am now off to sleep as I have had a very long day.

Categories
3 years and beyond

No more yelling!!!!

I must say it is hard dealing with two 3 year olds when they don’t listen, think things are funny when they are in trouble, break things, keep on doing things that you tell them not to do, and test you in every way imaginable. It is also does not help that I cannot just hand them to someone and say, please I need a break, and you deal for a while. However that said I do try and deal with it well, but there are times that I do lose my cool and yell. I know that this is not a good thing to do, but it does happen. I am sure everyone is in the same boat. Lately I have experienced others yelling, and it brought home that I too need to change what I do, and make the house a calmer place to be. My aim is to have a nice calm house, with no yelling.  I know. We will see if it can be done.

Lately I have been trying to see if just explaining nicely in a calm voice will help more than yelling. It seems to be but as I said I do have my moments that I get very angry and frustrated like everyone. I have been trying to tell them that if they act the way they are acting then the visit, or playgroup/play-date will not happen. This seems to be helping as they are very keen to go out and have adventures. They are realising that if they act up they will not get the treat of going out; it is sad that you have to bribe the child to behave themselves.

Below is a quote from an article called, “Yelling at kids – the effects“, that is on Kidspot.com.au

“Talking in anger to your child is likely to affect his emotional development if, as a direct result of what you’ve said, he no longer feels you love him unconditionally or that he is safe and secure. Your child needs to feel your support and guidance, which will help him build the confidence to attempt new things and continue to grow in areas where he is already confident. If he feels anxious about being personally criticised or ridiculed, he will be less willing to takes chances.”

When I was young my father yelled and acted out a lot, when he wanted something done he yelled and screamed and got very angry. This affected me, when teachers would yell or pressure me for answers to questions, my mind went blank. I just could not tell them anything. This made them think that I was not smart. Teachers then did not try to teach me as you were in the dumb class. This is not the case now (getting distinctions at uni), but I am sure if it did not happen, things might have been different.   I am noticing that I don’t want to have the girls in that type of environment or create it either.

It is hard when you are feeling stuck, you are on your own, no help and it is a constant that never lets up. I always thought that work was hard, but now after kids, work is easy, give me a paid job anytime. As the primary care giver it is a tough job and if you have no assistance it is doubly tough. So if the kids are not listening or doing anything that you have told them to do, what is the answer? Here are some links that might help.

What do you do to keep calm in your household? How do you get your kids to listen to you? Are you trying not to yell, what are your techniques?  Send your comments to me and we can all share and learn from each other.