No more yelling!!!!

by

I must say it is hard dealing with two 3 year olds when they don’t listen, think things are funny when they are in trouble, break things, keep on doing things that you tell them not to do, and test you in every way imaginable. It is also does not help that I cannot just hand them to someone and say, please I need a break, and you deal for a while. However that said I do try and deal with it well, but there are times that I do lose my cool and yell. I know that this is not a good thing to do, but it does happen. I am sure everyone is in the same boat. Lately I have experienced others yelling, and it brought home that I too need to change what I do, and make the house a calmer place to be. My aim is to have a nice calm house, with no yelling.  I know. We will see if it can be done.

Lately I have been trying to see if just explaining nicely in a calm voice will help more than yelling. It seems to be but as I said I do have my moments that I get very angry and frustrated like everyone. I have been trying to tell them that if they act the way they are acting then the visit, or playgroup/play-date will not happen. This seems to be helping as they are very keen to go out and have adventures. They are realising that if they act up they will not get the treat of going out; it is sad that you have to bribe the child to behave themselves.

Below is a quote from an article called, “Yelling at kids – the effects“, that is on Kidspot.com.au

“Talking in anger to your child is likely to affect his emotional development if, as a direct result of what you’ve said, he no longer feels you love him unconditionally or that he is safe and secure. Your child needs to feel your support and guidance, which will help him build the confidence to attempt new things and continue to grow in areas where he is already confident. If he feels anxious about being personally criticised or ridiculed, he will be less willing to takes chances.”

When I was young my father yelled and acted out a lot, when he wanted something done he yelled and screamed and got very angry. This affected me, when teachers would yell or pressure me for answers to questions, my mind went blank. I just could not tell them anything. This made them think that I was not smart. Teachers then did not try to teach me as you were in the dumb class. This is not the case now (getting distinctions at uni), but I am sure if it did not happen, things might have been different.   I am noticing that I don’t want to have the girls in that type of environment or create it either.

It is hard when you are feeling stuck, you are on your own, no help and it is a constant that never lets up. I always thought that work was hard, but now after kids, work is easy, give me a paid job anytime. As the primary care giver it is a tough job and if you have no assistance it is doubly tough. So if the kids are not listening or doing anything that you have told them to do, what is the answer? Here are some links that might help.

What do you do to keep calm in your household? How do you get your kids to listen to you? Are you trying not to yell, what are your techniques?  Send your comments to me and we can all share and learn from each other.

1 Response
  • trish van baast
    February 10, 2012

    I heard a child behaviourist say that when your child ignores you,instead of shouting, lower your voice an octave and they often stop what they’re doing to hear you. It sounds good in theory but I don’t know how it would go in ‘real life’.

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