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Family

When will it all end?

My very tired boy at hospital the other night. He was not very well here and just in pain and exhausted.
My very tired boy at hospital the other night. He was not very well here and just in pain and exhausted.

Lately there has been one drama after another. Well maybe not a drama but something that is not good.

It all started when Lillian broke her wrist.

Days after Lillian hurt herself my right eye flared up. It was inflamed and looked horrible. Picture a violent red eye that was puffed up and weeping. Yes, I was a picture of glamour.

I woke at 3am on Friday after Lillian hurt her arm and realised my eye was all puffy, weeping and inflamed. In fact, my whole right eye seemed sealed shut. Not good, not good at all!

I took an antihistamine tablet and hoped that it would help my eye go back to normal. Sometimes I have an allergic reaction and my eyeball looks like it is falling out of my face, again not an attractive look.

Unfortunately, it did not work.

Me with my very sore eye. It was horrible and painful. I really just wanted to sleep.
Me with my very sore eye. It was horrible and painful. I really just wanted to sleep.

Due to the antihistamine tablet not working I thought I might have conjunctivitis. I went off to the doctor and had all the relevant checks, it was determined that it was bacterial conjunctivitis and I was recommended to get Chlorsig drops to make it all go away.

Now this first doctors visit was on a Friday. I woke up on Saturday my eye was even worse! It was horrible and just a nightmare to say the least.

I tried to go to the local doctors but no one could see me. I ended up at the hospital to get another doctor to check my very sick and sore eye. This doctor decided it was viral conjunctivitis and not bacterial so therefore the Chlorsig drops were not working. The doctor from the hospital recommended some natural tears and other drops from the chemist.

Now armed with my new drops I used them all weekend but come Monday my eye was even worse than the before. Nothing I was doing or was recommended to do use was helping!

Off to yet another doctor I went on Monday morning. This doctor said there was nothing I can do and it will just go away. Geez what a waste of time it was seeing this person! My eye was sore, inflamed, puffy, violently red and constant weeping clear fluid like tears. It was horrible! I was starting to look like someone with a horrible disease.

I then spoke to my sister who told me it sounded like allergic conjunctivitis. I had no idea that you could get allergic conjunctivitis. My sister told me that she took a antihistamine called, “Zaditen” and it solves her issue when it happens to her eyes. I raced out to get some Zaditen drops. I managed to get a pack of the sterile single dose units. The drops were not available due to the manufacturer not having stock available. How annoying I thought, but was thankful that I could get some even though the single dose units were more expensive. I just wanted to fix my very sore eye and at this stage the cost was not the issue, I just hoped that it will fix my eye.

The Zaditen drops helped a bit but my eye still felt very sore and not well. Every time I bent over it throbbed. It also felt like there was something in it although there was nothing.

I decided to use one of my free days without kids to find the underlying cause of my eye problem. I made an appointment to see the local optometrist and they decided that there was something wrong. The optometrist thought it could be blepharitis and this would mean that I would need to see an eye specialist. The specialist is the only person that can prescribe the medicine I would need.

Since I did not have an appointment at the eye specialist that day (Now Tuesday) I just had to sit and wait to get seen. This was very annoying as I had to have my eyes dilated and therefore could not see and it meant that I could not use my laptop or phone for work while I waited. It felt annoying to lose a day without kids waiting at the doctors but I was pleased that I might figure out why my eye was so sick and sore.

Finally, I saw the eye specialist and this is a doctor that I have seen before on other occasions. He took one look at my eye and told me that I had a mild case of Iritis. Oh no not Iritis again.

I had a bad case of this when I was studying for my post graduate degree online. I could not see well due to the drops given to me, plus I was in a lot of pain and light made it worse. Reading things online and dealing with horrible headaches and doing work from degree was extremely hard at this time. I was grateful that this time it was a mild case but it did make me angry that all three doctors that I saw could not tell me this. I know that they are not really specialists with eyes and that might be why, although it still annoys me.

My eye specialist told me to take a steroid eye drop and that has helped. I go back for a check-up next week and hope that it is getting better. It feels a little better although I ran out of the drops and had to get more. I ended up having a few days break with the drops so I hope that this does not cause an issue.

During this whole issue with my right eye I ended up getting something in my left eye… yes more annoying. It apparently was something that stems from a virus only kids get and therefore I got it too! Delightful!

As I write this the left eye is cleared of anything horrible, and the right eye feels better than it has been for a long time.

While Lillian was in pain and suffering with her cast, I was suffering with my eye issues, and the baby has been teething for the last five or so weeks. Alexander has been getting his molars and the last 2-3 weeks have been hell.

My very tired boy at hospital the other night. He was not very well here and just in pain and exhausted.
My very tired boy at hospital the other night. He was not very well here and just in pain and exhausted.

On closer inspection, I have also realised that Alex is getting more teeth plus the molars, he sounds like he was about to lose his voice and had a terrible cough like he has gunk on the back of his throat. He sounded sick. He really was not well at all. I thought that once his teeth broke through the gum all might settle. However, it never happened, he seemed to be getting worse.

He has been in so much pain that he has been trying to smash is face into the floor and hit himself with his hands or any object that is close by. He was a mess. He was not happy and screaming the place down.

I have been keeping up the pain medicine to help him out but whatever I gave him never seemed enough. I gave him Nurofen and then would give him Panadol to keep him happy. I made sure to keep alternating to ensure that he was as pain free as possible but to overdose him either. Hours after I gave Alexander painkillers he would scream, cry, and start hitting his head on the floor. Oh gosh! What to do???

I tried to cuddle him, he wriggled and wriggled and screamed at me.

I put him on the floor to explore and he just laid there and screamed at me.

One day that he did this I decided he looked so tired that he needed to rest. I got him ready for bed, put him in his cot and soothed him the best I could do. I said good night to him and walked out of the room hoping that soon he would go to sleep. However, he worked himself up and he threw up all over his bed and clothes.  I cleaned him up, gave the bed fresh sheets and I also needed new clothes to. I even gave him a bath to make him feel better.

He fell asleep while I was cuddling him, I thought that the best place for him to rest was his bed. I put him in his cot and quietly walked out. About an hour or so later I heard screams and crying. I raced in to see what was up. Alexander had thrown up all over his sheets again!

I then tidied up the bed, the baby, gave him yet another bath and got myself new clothes again too. Gosh not good. My poor little boy was very sick.

I took him to the doctors on Monday the 13th March. The doctor we saw said that there was nothing wrong and it was just teething. This doctor said to just keep him hydrated and give him painkillers and all should be good. I asked about the fact that he sounds horse and will lose his voice? What about the throwing up? How about the coughing? I asked if it was a chest or ear infection? Again, I was told no, and that it was just teething.

Alexander was not eating much but I put this down to his sore mouth and getting new teeth. He was completely off his food on Wednesday the 15th of March and threw up again. He refused water, formula, and food all day! I decided to take him to the hospital for a second opinion.

Not only was no painkiller helping, he was now not eating or drinking and was screaming the place down and trying to smash his face due to the pain. I was at a loss of what to do help him.

The nice doctor and team at the hospital saw to us very quickly. The doctor concluded that he had bronchitis. He did think it was viral but gave him some steroids for the chest and lungs and some antibiotics to see if he responded while we were at emergency. He looked better after the medicine and the paediatric doctor that was not on call suggested that a blood test would confirm if antibiotics were needed for more treatment.

When the doctor came to talk to me about a blood test for our little boy he was asleep.

Alexander has had days and days of not sleeping and just screaming, so I really did not want to wake him. He looked so peaceful and I was happy that he was finally sleeping.

The doctor told me that they would need to put a cannula in his hand to get blood so the doctors could test. This doctor then said that it would be very traumatic for the baby and he would need to be wrapped up and held in order to not have him move when they attempt to get blood. Geez this would be horrible.

I would have loved to get the blood test to confirm if something was indeed wrong or not. However, the doctor and I thought it would upset him too much. At this stage, all his vital tests were coming back normal. The doctor said that he was going to give me a script for antibiotics regardless, so I thought it best not to put Alexander through the stress of trying to get blood out of him.

In the end, I chose to leave the hospital after Alexander woke up. I did not get the blood test due to the torture it would cause my little man. I filled the script for the steroids and antibiotics and our little boy now finally seems to be on the mend.

Yesterday, the 18th of March he finally ate something. Yes, he was refusing to eat or to really drink his formula. He was having some water but not much. He ate some mushed up Weet-Bix with some milk. Today the 19th of March he ate some more Weet-Bix as well.

Alexander’s appetite seems to be back. He is still in a bit of pain but is happier and his cheeky self is back.

As you can imagine having a kid who is in pain due to a broken wrist, you’re in pain due to a very sore eye, a personal health scare (Don’t worry all is fine and more on the blog later), and then a sick baby who is screaming all the time has not been fun at all.

I would just love it all to stop and to have some time where no one is sick, I don’t need to go to the doctors or deal with screaming or upset anyone. It will be nice when Alexander can go back to childcare and then I can have some time again for me.

Can I just go somewhere with room service? Maybe a lovely island resort would do the trick.

I think my eye was sore and got worse due to stress. I have read online that anti-inflammatory foods can help, therefore I have made sure my diet has a lot of these, such as olive oil, nuts like almonds, fruits like strawberries, blueberries and oranges.

I know everything on the whole was okay and would be fine, however it felt horrible. Dealing with it all mostly by myself was annoying, exhausting, stressful and hard. It would have been wonderful to hand the kids or other responsibilities to hubby or someone that could help and I would be able to just have a break.

Have you had a time where everything seems like it is going wrong?

Have you felt like it is never ending? I do and at times it felt like it was never going to get better.

Alexander has been eating more, drank more and seems like he is happy. He is his old self again. It is nice to see and I’m grateful that he is not screaming at me constantly and is getting better.

Categories
Family

My Little Explorer

My danger child, the future rock climber and explorer.
My danger child, the future rock climber and explorer.

Alexander is an adventurous and energetic little boy. He loves to explore new places, play with new toys, climb and just get into mischief. A normal child really.

He is very taken with stairs and any stairs he has to climb. It is a struggle to keep him away and sometimes it is just easier to leave,  it is safer to take him to an area that is safer and I don’t need to be on constant alert.

Last Wednesday I tried to take Alexander to baby time at the local library. It did not go well. I was very early and I tried to play with him and to read books while we waited. This did not work out well. I was going to go somewhere else but baby time was not going to be long so decided to wait.

On one of the trolleys that they have the books on the library had the stereo system for the baby time. Alexander decided to push this like a walker and nearly bumped into people and the wall. Not good.

My danger child, the future rock climber and explorer.
My danger child, the future rock climber and explorer.

I then distracted him and he got busy crawling in and out of the bottom of a book trolley and then sliding on a book. He thought this was a lot of fun. I spoilt the fun and took the book off him. He then decided that he wanted to remove books from the shelves and just put them on the floor. Oh gosh!

Many other mums and dads had arrived now and I got chatting with one other mum. I was one talking to her for a few seconds and Alexander had climbed the stairs all by himself while I chatted with this mum. Geeez!!!!

I saved him from coming down and then baby time started. I thought that the music, songs and other kids would make him stay with the group and not want to explore the stairs again and everything else in the library.

He did not want to stay with the baby time group and this meant I was up and down due to his obsession with the stairs. Alexander even visited the quiet reading area and nearly put his hand on a mans leg while he was engrossed in his book. Oh my gosh!

My baby will not sit still.

He was climbing and doing all sorts of things that were not appropriate in a library. I know they expect babies to be a little noisy when they are there but the library is not an obstacle course or baby gym.

After all this back and forth I left to Alexander’s annoyance. I was exhausted racing after him every two seconds.

I did look around and no other baby was exploring or doing what Alexander was doing. The other babies were in the group, sitting nicely or staying with their parents. Not my little boy, he was off and interested in everything but the baby time we came to see and experience.

Today Alexander is fourteen months old. Yes only two months after turning one and he now seems so much more grown up. He has been doing the following things:

  • Walking
  • Trying to run
  • When walking trying to step down if there is a step. He has done it a few times if the step is not high, if it is a higher step he turns around and does the crawl as if he is getting down from a big step.
  • Laughing
  • Playing with his sisters
  • Putting his toys in all draws and in all areas of the house. You know where he has been due to the toys scattered throughout the house.
  • Blowing raspberries
  • Making music with his hand on his mouth to make different sounds.
  • Having fun at playgroup. He takes a while to warm up to the place and when we first went he was a mess (he had crying fits and was shaking, just not happy and therefore I took him home). He has settled in well and yesterday he played well and explored all the toys and the whole hall that playgroup uses at the school.
  • While at playgroup he saw that other kids liked one of his favourite toys. He decided to pick up the toy and move it to the other side of the room and then walked away. He did not want any other kids to play with it so he made it difficult. Talk about naughty  but it is also a clever thing to notice this. It shows he is really thinking and reacting to his environment.
  • One boy who I chat to and know his mum took my hand to show me some toy or to play. I walked with him a bit and asked what toy we were off to look at. Alexander saw this and had a breakdown. He screamed and cried. He climbed down the stairs super fast, walked with record speed to make sure this little boy knew that I was not his mummy and that he was my child not his. He then wanted a huge cuddle and moved this boys hand and body away from me. He really did not like the idea that another child was wanting attention from me and it was not on!
  • Joking around and laughing at mummy and daddies jokes
  • Loves cuddles
  • Loves his teddies
  • Loves the outdoors and is very happy being outside. We have not been able to do this due to non stop rain but I hope that the rain stops for a while now.
  • Eating more food and tasting different food. He is a good eater and is very good with new tastes.

Does your little person love to explore? I found it interesting that my little boy was not interested in baby time at all!

What about your baby/child?

Did you find that other kids just sat and listened to the show or event that you went to? Aside from your child that likes to roam and explore! Mine could not sit still.

Maybe it is the age? He could just not be that focused or ready for baby time yet.

Categories
Family

Can mummy have a holiday now?

Don't disturb mummy needs some peace and quiet.
Don't disturb mummy needs some peace and quiet.

School has now been back one week and things have gone back to normal, by normal I mean that all the organised events have started and we must be at places at certain times now. In holidays, you can just do whatever you want and choose to stay at home or to not be somewhere if you don’t want to.  I have cut back on after school activities this year to try and have a calmer and easier time. Last year I was madly racing around and the only free day we had was Thursday. Crazy if you ask me.

Lately the kids have been acting crazy and more than usual.

  • Is it the age they are at?
  • Why are they not listening?
  • Why don’t they hear me when I am right next to them?
  • Why is it such a chore to get anyone to do anything or listen to me!
  • Why am I constantly getting ignored? Oh, it is so frustrating when you must constantly repeat yourself.
  • Another issue that is happening is that the twins are never answering me or hubby when we ask them a question. They just never answer. So, you repeat the question. This then leads to nothing again. Ohhhhhh the frustration when kids never answer you. Do you have this happen to? Why do you think they never answer you? I asked and they seem to be able to do this at school. I then asked why it cannot happen at home. The response was, home is different and that is why we don’t. Interesting!
Don't disturb mummy needs some peace and quiet.
Don’t disturb mummy needs some peace and quiet.

Is the reason they are defying me and not listening due to more independence? They do think that they can do whatever they want and this is met with a BIG NO from me. Of course, they can do things that they can do but I don’t allow them to do whatever they want. I have boundaries and rules like any parent.

You can imagine that during the nearly six weeks of school holidays I was driven mad or to a near walking dead zombie of my previous self. Having kids racing everywhere and anywhere, always on the go and not listening when you are telling them no really exhausts you.

My whole being is tired.

All my cells need time to rest and relax.

My brain needs quiet time for mummy to think and to refocus.

The twins being back at school and the baby being at childcare has allowed some time for me. However, this I find is not enough. I think I really need a vacation away from everything.

The school day is short. Drop off at 8.55am and pick up at 2.55pm so that is not a full day at all. If you must be at school for an event, then it is an even shorter day.

When the baby goes to care that is great as then all three kids are having fun and mummy can do what she has been desperate to do.  I could be drooling over getting the house tidy, doing work on the blog or just some quiet time for me.

Lately I have just liked the fact that I can come home and sit in an empty house. This house has no noise, no kids yelling MUMMY at the top of their lungs and the yelling and carrying on that happens when they are fighting which seems like is every minute.

 

I’m so over it. I am fed up.

I want all the craziness to end. I want a peaceful household and for people to listen when they are spoken to.

Why is this so hard to have this happen? I don’t understand!

 

I make a cup of coffee or tea and just stare at the wall or watch the television to chill out while relaxing and calming down. It gives me some time to just do nothing and then I can do whatever I need to do.

 

I’ve been drooling over the whole idea of a mums only holiday. I would go away to a retreat and not come back for a while. Not sure how long but would love to stay for a few weeks at the very least. I don’t think a few hours a day really allows your body to de-stress and to calm down after having six weeks of crazy.

I seem to have the constant white noise in my head. The noise is also the constant conversations and arguments that have just been. I find that my brain keeps them for a while and they go around and around until they are no more. I know I cannot be the only one that has this happen to them.

Some of the things that I do to chill out:

  • Make sure I have some quiet time for just me
  • Do nothing for a while
  • Meditate
  • Take baths
  • If I cannot take a bath, I have a soothing hot shower to relax.
  • Take walks (I do like to take them on my own but if I cannot I take the baby in the pram)
  • Change of scenery. I like to have a cup of coffee out at a café to make me feel good.
  • I do like to go to the movies on my own. This way no one is yelling or creating an issue when mummy wants to watch her much anticipated film. (I am wanting to do this now that Alexander is in care)
  • Clean up the house a bit so that it is more in order. I like to try and have things sorted. Currently things are a mess and that does not help with my mood so tidying up is on the list to do.

Do you find that you need more time on your own to unwind? Do you feel that the little time you get is not enough?

Other than being gifted a retreat holiday for one or winning the lotto to go, I make do with the small things that I can do at home. How do you chill out as a busy and stressed out mumma.

Let us know.

Categories
School

Twin Classroom Issues

My wonderful girls, very happy starting grade 3.
My wonderful girls, very happy starting grade 3.

My girls have started grade three and since grade one have been in separate classes.

They do say that twins need each other and more so if they are identical. I can say that this has been true to a certain extent for us. The girls are very attached to each other and therefore fret if they are apart for too long.

My wonderful girls, very happy starting grade 3.
My wonderful girls, very happy starting grade 3.

However due to them spending so much time together they get annoying.

By annoying, I mean yelling, hitting, biting, pinching, being naughty, creating problems and so much more. Oh the list goes on.

During the last term of school last year one of my girls was hysterical, upset and just miserable. Why I asked, and the answer was that she wished to be with her sister next year. She wanted to be in the same class, as she felt that she was missing out. Missing out on fun, missing out on friendships and more.

I did try and explain that since she spends so much time with her sister having her own space might be nice. This was met with screaming and yelling and more info about why she should be with her sister. I did not know if this was a good idea but I was very concerned due to how upset she was.

A meeting with the principal was in order to address this issue before school started for 2017. I met with our lovely principal and had some great chats. I explained that this kid was very sensitive and I think due to her attachment with her sister she might be best to be in the same class.

Personally I thought that each child did very well in different classes. Their reports were excellent last year, and I thought that it helps each child to be their own person, developing their own skills and finding what they like on their own. They won’t have each other to help all the time. In life they will have to do things on their own and be able to do this without a crisis.

I did speak with the other kid on her own to see if she wanted her sister to be with her in grade three. She said yes and said all the right things. However I was not convinced. I asked her several times over a couple of weeks and got the same answer. Yes I want my sister to be with me. I still was not sold.

The principal of the twins school met with one of the kids teachers, and found that one kid was doing much better without her sister being with her. The kids are fine together but the teacher thought that the shadow of her sister will make this kid not want to do things, or feel like she is having to do things just because her sister is there.

The kid that told me it was fine for her sister to be in her class, I was told feels pressured to do things that her sister does. Her teacher also mentioned that she is doing much better on her own and due to not reading at the same level (although only a few levels behind her sister might find that she is compared and will not try if they are together).

I do know that the kid that wanted to be with her sister brags about what a good reader she is and this makes her sister feel upset, so I can understand that being separate would have its benefits.

It was decided that the girls would be in different classes although the kid who was hysterical would be upset that is what was going to happen.

I asked if I could find out the teachers they would have for the new year and was lucky to get that info. Normally this does not get revealed until the first day of school.

Due to the fact that one kid was a mess and demanding to be with her sister I decided to tell both last year that they would again be separated and then had the wrath of screaming, yelling and crying that followed. It was horrible. Oh the joys of parenthood!

This kid screamed at the top of her lungs that she that she wanted to be with her sister. Why can’t this happen? Why can’t the school do this for her?

I explained that the teachers had already put both of them into classes prior to me talking to the principal, and after many discussions with the principal and other teachers it was decided that both kids would do better in different classes.

Still heaps of crying and yelling was happening! It did not stop.

All through this situation I was just hoping that we were doing the right thing. What if they need to be together I thought in my head? What if they need the connection to each other?

What would happen if she just had a terrible hysterical fit at the start of school and could not cope?

I was worried. I hope this does not happen.

I decided to tell the kids what teachers they had to make them a little happier about the situation. Well in fact only one kid was halving a terrible time about this. I think the other one was not fussed either way.

After I revealed what teachers they had one kid was very happy and the other was yelling at me again. She wanted to have the same teacher her sister did. Jeez this cannot happen. They are in separate classes! Oh boy back to the same issue about this kid not being happy about this again.

I of course was over it all and just feeling horrible.

 

I just wanted all the upset to go away.

 

I felt for my little girl and told her all the good things that will happen with her new teacher.

 

The girls have some lovely teachers this year. They will have fun, and learn so much. I’m glad that I told them last year as this gave them time to adjust and especially for the one kid who was so upset about it all.

Her new teacher was the same one her sister had when she was in grade one. He is a fabulous teacher, very creative, musical, loves dance and is very switched on. He is a lovely person.

My little girl was not upset but instead was very happy and joined her new class skipping with a smile on her face. She told me today that she loves her new class and teacher. She thinks he is awesome.(Thank goodness for this…I was dreading the outcome if she hated it all)

My other little girl is very happy with her classroom too, and likes the fact that she is doing something different from her sister.

I did explain that the girls will see each other at recess and lunch and also when I pick them up and at home. They won’t miss out on anything, the different classes just give each kid a chance to be themselves and to have some time for them.

I’m glad that both kids are happy in the new classes. The kid that was so upset and emotional about all this last year had me very worried if this was a good idea to keep them separated.

I can see benefits for both sides of the situation. Due to the fact that the girls had already been in separate classes for two years I was not keen on having them together for school again. I know if this needed to happen that is fine, but the kids were doing so well individually.

The girls share a room, I take them with me everywhere, they are rarely apart, so that time in the classroom is time for them.

Here are some links that might help you if you need to decide about separate classes:

The main reasons to separate twins in the classroom is due to competition between each sibling (if your twins are like mine they are super competitive and that then leads to arguments) and one twin being more dominant than the other. Separate classes are thought to help these issues.

Of course it is a personal choice and dependent on what your twins are like. If they are super close and cannot cope with being apart separating them might do more harm than good. It is a case by case situation.

I was asked at the end of kindergarten if hubby and I wished to separate the girls. We thought it was a good idea but were concerned with the fact that they were so close, and might need to be with each other. The school took matters into their own hands and separated them for grade one and they have been in separate classes ever since. I think if it was left up to me, I would have kept them together.

Do you have twins or triplets? Have you separated them for school? Or did you keep them together?

If you separated them do you think they are happier? Let us know.

Categories
Family

Summer School Holidays End

I know a cat photo is strange to put in this post. I did look for a photo of an annoyed mum or parent. Or even kids being silly. I thought that this annoyed cat summed up my feelings and might even represent some of my facial expressions over the holidays.
I know a cat photo is strange to put in this post. I did look for a photo of an annoyed mum or parent. Or even kids being silly. I thought that this annoyed cat summed up my feelings and might even represent some of my facial expressions over the holidays.

I love summer.

I love holidays.

However I am over the craziness of the school holidays and keen for kids to go back to school. There I said it. Lately everything is a drama, and I am so over it.

When is my turn to take a holiday?????  I have been trying to use positive thought power to attract a family holiday to Fiji maybe, or possibly a working holiday just for me to Queensland or Melbourne. Who knows… I am just dreaming and putting it out to the universe at the moment.

I know a cat photo is strange to put in this post. I did look for a photo of an annoyed mum or parent. Or even kids being silly. I thought that this annoyed cat summed up my feelings and might even represent some of my facial expressions over the holidays.
I know a cat photo is strange to put in this post. I did look for a photo of an annoyed mum or parent. Or even kids being silly. I thought that this annoyed cat summed up my feelings and might even represent some of my facial expressions over the holidays.

One thing that I am not looking forward to is the weather getting cooler but one BIG thing that is making me smile is the hours that will be mine when kids and baby are at school and care.

Soon I will have some uninterrupted time. This time will be quiet. No kids yelling, no kids arguing and no baby demanding cuddles or screaming and crying. The joy of soon having two days to myself, aside from school pick up and drop off.

The girls start grade three on Monday and due to the baby being in care on the Tuesday I have organised something for me.

I’ve made an appointment to get my hair done. Yes some pamper time for mummy. It will be relaxing and so nice to do something for me and to be on my own for a change.

Are you looking forward to school going back? Are you over the kids acting feral and crazy lately? I know I am. I am longing for some lovely time to just be at home and to get things done. It could be blogging, sorting things out with the house or just sitting down and having some quiet time for me.

What are you wanting to do when kids go back to school? Let me know.

Categories
Family

Be Different in 2017

In 2017 I want to be different.

I know just announcing that I want to be different is a huge statement.

I know I can’t magically be Angelina Jolie or maybe Drew Barrymore.  However, it would be nice to be able to magic up some things like a new house, more money or say kids that do as they are told? I can dream can’t I?

This is what I want to do more of this year. Relaxing in my garden or under a tree.
This is what I want to do more of this year. Relaxing in my garden or under a tree.

By different I mean do things differently, pare back, simplify, and take some time to just be.

 

In 2016 I was racing around like a mad person. I had a new baby and kids at school that required me taking them to many after school activities. This year I want to stop many of the after-school activities aside from two that the girls love and that is about it.

 

Now it is 2017 I would love to be a calmer and more productive year for all, more so for me as a mummy. I was the one dealing with carting people back and forth and trying to keep an annoyed and tired baby entertained while the kids had their time at guitar practice or other activity.

This year it would be a lovely change to go home and to just be. The only fight I see on the horizon for after school is getting kids to do their homework. Other than that, maybe tidying their room and helping around the house but that is a standard annoyance.

One other major annoyance I have had is the stress that goes along with getting kids to listen and do as they are told. I do try and keep calm but my voice gets raised and then I end up yelling after the millionth time of telling and asking for someone to do a simple task! Yes, frustrating to say the least.

So, this year I would like to yell less or maybe not at all. I know that I’m not perfect and being a real mum means that things don’t happen like the movies or the magazines, but it would be nice to have things go a little more smoothly this year.

Another major milestone is about to happen soon, our little boy Alexander is going to start day-care. I know some might not think day-care is a good idea but I feel that it will help his socialisation with others and especially kids his own age.

He will explore and learn new things and it will all help his development. I am rather anxious about this day but also to excited. The anxious part is Alexander is still very clingy to me and frets when I leave the room, I hope that he will love the place and forget about me when we are there. We are scheduled for an orientation day so that he can get used to the space and people, and I hope this helps him feel more secure at the day-care centre.

On the days that he goes to care I am hoping to get more done with the blog and the house. The alone time will also allow me to do things that I cannot do with kids, maybe get my hair done, go to the movies by myself, go to the gym or maybe do some laps in the pool, or how about finally go for a walk on my own without a pram. Oh, how I am looking forward to this.

I do hope that Alexander will love childcare, he is such a busy little person that I’m sure he will keep everyone on their toes and enjoy all the new experiences.

The twins started childcare a day a week once they turned one. It did them a world of good and especially me, due to no family nearby.  I am on my own looking after the kids. Hubby works late so if something needs to be done I do it.

It was nice when I had that one day per week for just me. I could either plan to do something for me or whiz through the house and do a huge tidy up. It is so much easier to tidy without kids seeing what you are doing… and terrible if they see you chuck out their artwork or prized creations. (cue the screaming and tears!)

I am prepared that I will be upset for a few weeks until Alexander settles in and I hope that he likes it as much as I think he will. We will see.

This is me... well not really but I am pretending. I am spending some much needed time in the pool.
This is me… well not really but I am pretending. I am spending some much needed time in the pool.

Lately I’ve been thinking of all the things that I would love to achieve this year. Some are huge and others are not. Many align to my calmer and simpler idea for 2017:

  • Cut down on after school activities
  • Less television time
  • More time with the kids
  • Less or no yelling
  • Be calmer
  • Do more exercise
  • Be happier
  • De-clutter the house to feel better
  • Days for just me (Mummy). I could be blogging away on my new laptop or just at the pool doing laps, or maybe seeing a film no else wishes to see and I finally can. It could even be a day at the spa????? A Pamper day for me…what a delightful thought.
  • A tidier and more organised home that makes everyone happier and calmer.

 

Do you have goals for 2017? Are they to just do less like mine? I know I have a full list of other things but if I’m not racing around to get to the other activities I have time to prioritise on the real tasks I wish to focus on.

I suppose I’m looking at what is important to me and my family. What are your priorities for 2017?

Maybe another way to look at new year goals is what annoyed you last year that you don’t wish to do ever again, this way you can simplify your year and make you happier at the same time.

I for one hated the fact that the kids and I only had one day per week to be at home after school. The rest was filled with activities I had to race to, and all the while keep a baby happy and sometimes this was not possible and I had a screaming baby.

Let me know what you have decided to not do in 2017 that will put a smile on your face. Send in your comments.

Categories
Family

Christmas Day Fun and Tastes

Our Christmas Day was rather relaxing. Normally we go to my families house for lunch and then in the late afternoon we go to hubby’s side for dinner. My family decided to celebrate Christmas on Christmas Eve so that meant we could be at one place on Christmas Day. It was very nice for a change. Also trying to fit two lunches, and a dinner in on one day is not wise and hard to do. I did like the fact that I could just eat one meal and not have to do it again at another house.

The kids and especially the baby were spoilt with gifts this year and as it was Alexander’s first Christmas this was I suppose appropriate. I did find that I was unwrapping all of the babies presents and I found that there were more boxes that were not opened. I checked the name and thought maybe they were for me… no they were for the baby. Oh well.

Before we did go to the relatives house the kids, hubby and I opened our presents. I was very lucky to get a Macbook Air laptop from hubby and the kids. I also got a coffee plunger and coffee. One of the girls decorated a plate for me and it even comes with a stand so that I can display it.

Plate decorated by Lillian. It is also sitting on my new laptop and case. What lovely presents I got this year.
Plate decorated by Lillian. It is also sitting on my new laptop and case. What lovely presents I got this year.

The kids got some LEGO, games, clothes, shoes and some other fun things. Hubby got some replacement Guinness glasses (I smashed the last one by accident. We purchased them when we were in Dublin on our honeymoon), I made sure hubby had Guinness that was cold so he could try out his new pint glasses, he also got some tea cups, and a lovely Santa shirt to celebrate Christmas Day with.

We were very lucky with our lovely presents and Santa also gave some thoughtful gifts. Santa gave me a notepad to help with my blogging in 2017. Thanks so much Santa.

Since I was so lucky to get a laptop I did not mind unwrapping multiple presents for my little boy.

Persian Fetta, Ham, Smoked Salmon and Mango were some of the things that our little boy liked to eat on Christmas Day. Of course our boy likes the expensive items.

Categories
Family

End Of Yearitis

I think I might have end of yearitis. It could be exhaustion, or maybe it could be called being very over term 4. I don’t know if I have the itis,  but I do know that I don’t want to have to go to school drop offs and pick ups anymore, I am over all the after school activities and my brain is now telling me it is summer holidays.

Although my brain is thinking it is summer holidays it is not officially holidays at all. I even thought yesterday was Friday for part of the day, I was hoping that today was the weekend but it was indeed Tuesday and the kids needed to still be taken to school.

You can imagine my annoyance at the fact that Monday was not Friday and Tuesday was not the weekend. No sleeping in and no holidays just yet.

On holidays well wishing I was on holidays and relaxing in my backyard.
On holidays well wishing I was on holidays and relaxing in my backyard.

I really want to just stay at home and potter around and do whatever I want, well with kids as well so maybe the doing whatever I want will never happen. Regardless of doing things that I have been wanting to get to for ages, at least I will not have to pack school lunches, drop kids and pick them up from school and of course taxi everyone to their after school activities. I could just stay at home. I might even still be in my pj’s and not bother to change all day? Maybe that is something that can happen.

I love not having to be anywhere urgently or needing to be somewhere at all. I like the days where you can just have a relaxing fun day at home and everyone has a relaxing enjoyable time. Although some of these moments are short-lived due to the girls claiming they are bored and then suddenly wanting me to take them out which will require a huge drive in the car.

Tomorrow night hubby, the baby and I are off to the local high school to see the girls dance in the junior dance group. I have heard that it is a mixture of many different dances and one kid even told me that there is the chicken dance in there as well. It will be nice to see the girls dance as they have been very busy practicing each week.

End of year dances are a huge clue that the school is getting ready to wind up activities for the year. I am thankful for this as I would love to just be left alone for a bit and not have to take kids or people anywhere for a while. I do think that this is not going to be the case as my kids like to go places even if it is to someones house for a playdate.

I don’t think it is just me that is feeling like this. The twins have been overtired, yelling and carrying on more than usual. I am putting it down to they are over school, very tired and really need the holidays to start.

Are you wanting the holidays to start?  Do you think you have end of yearitis too? Do you think they feel like they have started already?

Having warmer weather always makes me want to be on holiday.  Have you noticed that your kids are over it all too?

 

Categories
Family

Six More Mondays Till Xmas!

This time last year I was super organised. I had presents all sorted, some purchased and even some wrapped up ready for Christmas Day. I was a planning and organising machine.  I was all over it and made sure no one got forgotten. (One other mum asked me in September last year if I had sorted the kids Christmas presents. I gasped with shock at this comment. Why would I get their Christmas gifts sorted when they just had their birthday? She said that she had kids in December and since I was due to have Alexander in January and we had no idea if he would come in Dec/Jan it might be best to get things sorted just in case I ended up in hospital. Geez I had not thought about this. At first I thought I had plenty of time and how silly to be doing it in September. Although I looked at the calendar and due to being very pregnant thought I best get organised.)

Now the same time this year I am not in a super organised state. I have a few gifts purchased and none for immediate family only a gift here and there for my husbands family so far.

Nothing has been purchased for the kids so far.

I hear you gasp in the disbelief of this comment. However it is very true

So why am I not on the ball this year? Well I have not been motivated due to the kids being very naughty and horrible. Every time I do something lovely for them they act like terrors straight after and make me wish I shouldn’t have bothered. Does this happen to you?

Today is the 11th of November and that means that there is only 6 more Mondays to go before it is Christmas! Yes you read that right! Not long to go now.

I have even added the friendly text “DON’T PANIC” so it might calm you down. Yes very Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.

DON'T PANIC - There are only 6 more Mondays until Christmas Day! Yes you read that right. Not long to go at all!
DON’T PANIC – There are only 6 more Mondays until Christmas Day! Yes you read that right. Not long to go at all!

 

Are you the type of person who purchases Christmas presents all year?

I sometimes do this. I see something that is perfect for someone and buy it and squirrel it away. One issue with this technique is that you need to remember where you have hidden the presents. You don’t want to be in a panic and have to race out and get a few new gifts due to not being able to find your clever organised gifts that you of course cannot find.

Or do you do all the shopping in the few weeks before Christmas Day?

Maybe you like to race around the shops on Christmas Eve and get the last minute specials. I for one would hate fighting the traffic and the people if shopping on Christmas Eve, that would be annoying.

I have seen some items for the kids but they are so expensive and of course we would need to get two of them so I dismiss them, then of course they turn evil and then my nice thoughts of going Christmas gift shopping has been sidelined to annoyance and why was I bothering at all.

This has been uttered more than twice from me to the kids, “If you don’t start listening and behaving Christmas is going to be cancelled!” Yes bad mother alert here. Have you threatened to cancel Christmas? Let me know if you did and how that worked out?

Don’t get me wrong I am not a scrooge. I love this time of year, the holidays and giving to others. The one thing that is driving me mental is that I race around doing for everyone and don’t seem to get much in return. Yes I have my cranky pants on today, maybe the cranky pants have been cleaned and worn again due to the constant drama in our house at the moment. Don’t think that I never clean my pants due to being cranky a lot! (I just had to put that in here)

Kermit helping decorate the tree for Christmas. He has done a great job don't you think?
Kermit helping decorate the tree for Christmas. He has done a great job don’t you think?

Is it the age that the kids just ignore you? Don’t listen? Race off and never come back when they are called? Hurt each other and more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As you can see I am not a happy camper with the idea of rushing off to reward little peoples bad behaviour. I do think that it is the fact that they are so tired due to it being the end of the year, they are super excited about holidays, being in a new grade next year and of course Christmas. Do you find that your kids go a bit silly at the end of the year?

There is still time to get a few gifts for the kids before the actual day. I am just wondering what to give my darling girls this year. I don’t want little toys that will get lost and also cost a fortune. I don’t want more stuffed teddies as they have so many already, they don’t need more dolls although they have asked for some. I could get them more LEGO but they might get annoyed it is not something different. I do like to get them a set of LEGO to add to their collection (due to the fact they both love to create LEGO I like to make sure they have enough to share, hence adding to the collection).

I have been asked to get horse or a kitten, we will not be getting a horse due to space and costs but the kitten will have to wait until we are in our new house.

Are you organised for this Christmas?

Have you had to deal with kids being naughty and not behaving? Do you tell them to act nicer or else they might not get pressies on Christmas Day?

Let us know what you do to make things easier this time of year.

Categories
Family

What will he be like?

I have been thinking back to this time last year. This time last year I was very pregnant and over it. Anytime after 34 weeks was overdue for me. Yes sounds crazy but when you have twins at 34 weeks and 2 days you start to think that anything over is just horrible. Who would have known that I would have gone full term and had my third child exactly on the 40 week mark.

So what have I been thinking about?

During our pregnancy we did not find out the sex of our baby. We like the surprise. I found myself while at the twins school during home reading wondering if I had a boy will they be like this little boy or the other little boy. Will he be particular about certain things? Will he want to tell me about his favourite thing to do like some of these kids do? What will the child look like if it is a boy?

If the child was going to be girl, would it be like the twins with looks? The twins are blonde, although I was hoping that at some point we might have a red head (my mum has red hair..maybe the third child will be a red head?)

Our little boy actually seems to be getting auburn hair or at least that is what it sometimes looks like. Some days it looks like it is going red or lighter and some days it just looks like brown hair.

My cute little boy asleep... I just love his cute pouty lips and kissable cheeks.
My cute little boy asleep… I just love his cute pouty lips and kissable cheeks.

I had all sorts of thoughts about how the baby will look, will it be a boy/girl, what will this new little person be like and I hope that the girls love their new sibling too. I suppose these are valid concerns while pregnant.

While at the school yesterday and again this morning I caught myself thinking the same type of thoughts about what our little boy Alexander might like when he gets older. I read with the girls classes so each day I take a different group of kids. One kid has long lanky legs with knobbly knees, just like my little girls. I am sure our little boy will look similar but hard to see it when he is getting more plump due to being a cute and cuddly baby.

I even time traveled a bit seeing what my little boy might be like at Kindy. He would be wearing shorts although they would be too big and look more like pants. His hat would also be too big so it would need to be made tighter to accommodate a little head, and his school bag would look enormous next to a small little boy. I would be doing the same for him as I did with the twins, helping him learn to read and also volunteer in his classroom to hear him and other kids read.

School for Alexander will not start until the year 2021 if I have calculated right. By this stage the twins will be in high school. At least when the twins are in high school they can make their own way home (I can hope).

Have you caught yourself daydreaming about what your child would be like? Did you do it when pregnant and now when they are a baby?

I catch myself all the time thinking about the future:

  • What will they be like when older?
  • What type of jobs will they be doing?
  • Will they travel?
  • Will they be happy?
  • Will they find lovely partners that they are happy with?
  • Will they have children?
  • Will they be successful regardless of what type of job they do… as long as they are happy that is the most important thing.

So as you can see I think about a lot of things when I daydream about the kids.  Do you do this as well? Send me a comment to make me feel that I am not the only one.

Categories
Features of the blog

Happy 8 Years of Blogging

This year is the eighth year of my blog. Yes I have been blogging for eight years. It sometimes does not feel like it has been that long at all.
happy-birthday-to-the-blog

To celebrate I have a really amazing giveaway. This giveaway will give you a present as well as something for your little baby or if you don’t have a baby it could be a lovely gift for someone.

The next few months is going to be exciting in regards to giveaways. I have something for the Christmas and New Year holidays, some surprises in the lead up to Christmas and of course this giveaway that will help celebrate the blog’s eighth birthday. All will be revealed soon.  Make sure you follow the blog and all our social media sites so you don’t miss out on any announcements.

I would like to take the time to thank all my lovely readers for following the blog, the comments and emails of support that I have had over the last eight years. It has been greatly apprecaitted.

Bigger and greater things are in store, my aim is to make the next eight years great too.

Thanks again,
Suzanne

 

Categories
Teaching and Learning

Play & Learn with LEGO® DUPLO

I was lucky to go to The LEGO® DUPLO Creative Play workshop. We as a family love LEGO. Yes, rather a strong word to use for a toy but it is true. I played with LEGO when I was little, so did my sister, so did hubby and now so do our girls, and of course, our little boy will do as well.

The LEGO DUPLO Workshop was led by play expert Hanne Boutrup. Hanne was an inspiration, she made you want to play with LEGO bricks, get involved and just have fun. A perfect person to showcase the reasons that LEGO DUPLO (is for younger children to help with development and learning) is ideal for kids.

Hanne Boutrup was brilliant and really had everyone energised about LEGO DUPLO and how it helps children worldwide.
Hanne Boutrup was brilliant and really had everyone energised about LEGO DUPLO and how it helps children worldwide.

Did You Know?

The LEGO Group began in 1932, with Ole Kirk Christiansen who was a carpenter from Billund, Denmark who made wooden toys.

“LEGO is named after two Danish words LEG GODT (meaning Play Well) to produce the LEGO® name. The name is intended to reflect quality and the child’s right to enjoyable play.”

Alexander having fun with LEGO DUPLO
Alexander having fun with LEGO DUPLO

 

LEGO is a great toy but it is so much more.  So what can LEGO DUPLO do?

  • Help children with storytelling and communication. Using the LEGO DUPLO bricks and characters allows children to create their own world. When you are spending time with your child playing with LEGO DUPLO you can use the different creations as launch pads to tell stories. These creative stories help your child understand how stories are told, for example, stories have a beginning, a middle and an ending and the story needs to be told in this sequence or the person listening will get lost. This is a good skill to have as this leads to good communication that will help your child in the future.
  • You can teach fractions, shapes, patterns, colours, lengths and basic maths with LEGO DUPLO. Your kids will not even know they are learning, they will think they are just having a great time playing.
  • Being creative. Building cities, aeroplanes, birds, dinosaurs and really anything that you can think of. Don’t be confined to just the instructions that are included in the pack. LEGO DUPLO allows kids to create whatever their heart desires. There are no restrictions.
Alexander loved playing with LEGO DUPLO. When he is older I'm sure he will build amazing worlds.
Alexander loved playing with LEGO DUPLO. When he is older I’m sure he will build amazing worlds.

This workshop was hands-on. We all had to open a pack of LEGO DUPLO bricks and get building.

Our first task was to build a bridge that would allow two LEGO DUPLO characters to get across the river that had huge fish in them and who knows if they were vicious! Yes, you had no idea so best to be careful.

My group came up with a great creation that allowed the characters to cross the river. We carefully engineered a bridge with side rails and steps to access it. We were safety conscious hence the safety rails.

The Bridge our table built to get the LEGO DUPLO characters over the river safely.
The Bridge our table built to get the LEGO DUPLO characters over the river safely.

 

“Did you know that your brain is making use of the most critical skills for learning when playing with LEGO® bricks? Even when you build and rebuild with just a few bricks you stimulate more than 20 skills, supporting competencies such as problem-solving, creativity, empathy, communication and collaboration. “

 

Our second task was that we had to sit back to back to our partner and one person built with the LEGO DUPLO and the other person directed what to build. It was a very interesting lesson on communication and how to direct others when you cannot ask questions.

The second attempt at LEGO DUPLO at the Creative Workshop. It was very close but not exact. Better and more precise direction might have been better. This was a good way to showcase how if you have really good communication your team can benefit.
The second attempt at LEGO DUPLO at the Creative Workshop. It was very close but not exact. The better and more precise direction might have been better. This was a good way to showcase how if you have really good communication your team can benefit.

As you can see it was close but if the communication was more directional that would have been better. It would have hopefully led to an exact match with each creation of LEGO DUPLO.

We were also asked to take seven bricks and create a structure. It could be anything as long as it used seven bricks. This is an interesting exercise that you can use with your children. See what they create. Let them tell you the stories about the structure and why they built it the way they did.

Having a blast exploring all the blocks and new things that LEGO DUPLO offer.
Having a blast exploring all the blocks and new things that LEGO DUPLO offer.

“Did you know that LEGO® bricks produced since 1958 are fully compatible with LEGO bricks produced today”

 

The workshop showcased ways that I as a parent can help my children learn more with LEGO and also LEGO DUPLO.

Asking questions about the story, the building, the reason why something was done and finding fun ways to incorporate maths and other school learning into play is an amazing tool. Learning about patterns, counting and just having fun means that your kids will not even realise they are learning.

With the whole focus on innovation and creativity in the workplace the skills that LEGO DUPLO gives you are essential. It will help children in the workplace. If they are creative they have great ideas, solve problems and are innovative. There is a leaning now towards STEM subjects and LEGO DUPLO can help with these subjects for younger children, well at least introduce the ideas in a creative, fun and age-appropriate way.

It was lovely to meet Hanne Boutrup at the LEGO DUPLO Creative Workshop. I thought she was such an amazing speaker and so inspiring about children, learning and creativity. Alexander is also pleased to have been there as well.
It was lovely to meet Hanne Boutrup at the LEGO DUPLO Creative Workshop. I thought she was such an amazing speaker and so inspiring about children, learning and creativity. Alexander is also pleased to have been there as well.

Do your kids love LEGO DUPLO? Do you have older kids that love LEGO too?

My helper had to put his feet up. To much building with LEGO DUPLO. He had a well earned rest.
My helper had to put his feet up. Too much building with LEGO DUPLO. He had a well-earned rest.

Have you used LEGO to teach your children without them even knowing? What is your favourite thing to do with the kids and LEGO?

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Categories
Family

Bonding with Baby

How long did it take you to bond with your baby?

Do you think it was an instantaneous thing? Well for some that happens, but for others it can take a while.

According to a national survey that interviewed 500 women, “seven out of ten mums think they are going to bond at birth with their bubs, but more than half find it takes much longer than that.

Pinky McKay a Lactation consultant has said, ‘baby bonding was “a bit like falling in love” Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it takes ages for the magic to develop. “(Herald Sun, July 24, 2016)

The national survey was commissioned by WOTBaby which is an app that acts like a midwife in your pocket. It is a good tool for parents to consult and it goes up to six months of age.

The WOTBaby app was developed by Jen Hamilton who is a mothercraft nurse.

“In my experience, I generally find on average, mums truly bond with their child at four to five months,” Ms Hamilton said. (Herald Sun, July 24, 2016)

If you are not one of the mums that had the instant bonding moment then you might feel like it is a problem with you. Well you are fine! Trust me. Being pregnant, labor, birth, and now suddenly you have a new little person to care for. It is a BIG SHOCK to the system, and more so if you have twins or more.

The girls love their baby brother.
The girls love their baby brother.

 

Depending on what happened during the birth and afterwards you could have very different reactions to your little bundle of joy.

Here are some things that could delay or not help with bonding:

  • New mum and overwhelmed. Tired or actually more like exhausted. (I was like the walking dead when I first had the twins. Up all the time to feed, change nappies and to also express breast milk. It was a big blur of feeling like I had no sleep)
  • Problems breast feeding. If your baby does not take to it or if you have difficulties it cannot help with the bonding process. (I had to express both times with the twins and now my little boy. We did try breast feeds but it did not work out well for us)
  • Getting Mastitis/ill. I got very ill with mastitis after having Alexander and ended up in hospital for about 3-4 days. I needed antibiotics intravenously and it was not fun. I had the baby with me but it was tough.
  • Premature babies/baby. In my case the twins were born 6 weeks early so they were taken to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) It was hard to bond with babies that were not with me all the time and the fact that they were confined to a humicrib made things difficult.
  • Still recovering from the birth. Depending on what type of birth you had you might still need to rest. This can make caring for a new baby more difficult and can impact on bonding.
  • Support network. Having a good support network is ideal. I know it is hard with everyone being so busy these days, plus living further and further away from each other. If your partner can allow you to have some down time, this can help you to recharge your batteries. It might be harder if you have older children and now a newborn. If people offer help accept it! Don’t put pressure on yourself. Everyone is not perfect. Although you look outside at others and they might appear to have it all together I’m sure they are worrying or annoyed about something. Things take time. Unreal expectations is not healthy and we have all done this, judging ourselves by what we think we should be like or doing. I say take your time. Do your thing and just keep going. You will learn the cues of your little baby, you will figure out what the grunts and gurgles mean. In time you will feel more confident about everything. Learning a new person takes time.

I took a while to bond with my darling twins. I loved them to bits but due to them being in the NICU, being super tired, first time mum, recovering from a very long birth (over 30 hours) as you can imagine things were hectic and I was just doing what I thought I was supposed to do.

After I had the twins the nurses at the NICU were ringing my room to ask me for breast milk. As I just had them and these were my first children the breast milk had not come in yet. Great more pressure. One baby was okay on formula until I got my breastmilk but the other little girl was on strike. She hated the formula and was listed as nil by mouth! Oh gosh….. More phone calls to my room asking for breast milk. More visits by nurses trying to play with my boobs to help me get breast milk and all while I struggled to keep my eyes open.

Since I was in a room on my own and the twins were in the NICU I was told to have pictures of them to help me with the breast milk situation. I did think at times it was all a dream. Did I have kids? Oh yes, I’m in a hospital. Yes I did. Where are they??? Oh that’s right they are in intensive care. It was a very surreal moment and one that I did not feel I could discuss with anyone else. I felt that I would be judged.

Mummy and the girls on the 27th of Sept, 2008. Katoomba Hosp. Julia on left, Lillian on right.
Mummy and the girls on the 27th of Sept, 2008. Katoomba Hosp. Julia on left, Lillian on right.

So as you can see my first experience was unique due to having twins as my first children. Now looking back to the birth with our little boy in January this year it was completely different. The birth and care was so much nicer and calmer… maybe that was due to one baby this time or the fact that he was born on his due date? Maybe it was also due to not having a full room of student doctors, nurses, and two doctors for each baby, extra support people and two humidicribs for the twins. Having one baby that was on time meant that I had one midwife, one nurse, hubby and me in the delivery room. It was so nice to not have a full gallery of people there.

Due to having one baby this time, also being a good weight and being born on his due date he was put on me after birth. This was a nice experience as it did not happen when the twins were born. It allowed me to have some time cuddling our new little person and to help bond.

I did find that due to some issues with our little boy not latching on the breast properly, and having silent reflux, being fussy about things it made the first three months rather difficult. He screamed the place down due to having air in his belly and it was hard to remove! I think with age he got better and therefore after about three months he was much calmer, and this made feeding and the bedtime routine easier.

Alexander and I on the day he was born. It was nice to have the first cuddles. Look at all that hair!
Alexander and I on the day he was born. It was nice to have the first cuddles. Look at all that hair!

Another concern was how the twins would bond with the baby. We did not know if it was a boy/girl, although Julia wanted the baby to be a girl. She wanted to be the three sisters and have a picture taken at the Three Sisters at Katoomba. As you know we had a boy and the twins are so in love with their little baby brother. They help out and dote on him all the time, he is going to be a very spoilt little boy. My worries were for nothing. Did you do this when you had the second or third child? Stress about how the other kids would go with the new baby?

Our family is complete with our little baby boy and our twin girls. We love our kids to bits, and would not change anything. It took a while to get into the swing of things and that helped us learn everything about our three cheeky monkeys.

3 tips to remember!

  1. Bonding is a personal experience. Don’t measure or judge yourself on what others are doing.
  2. Don’t put pressure on yourself if bonding with baby is not instant. It can take up to six months or maybe more.
  3. Don’t confuse not bonding with not loving your baby. You’re a mum, of course, you love your baby and the bonding will happen, so just relax and it will happen when it happens.

If you are experiencing postnatal depression/postnatal anxiety or having issues bonding with their baby contact PANDA on 1300 726 306. The hotline is open from 10am to 5pm.

 

Due to the launch of WOTbaby the topic of bonding with babies has been in the media. I was on Today Extra with Jen Hamilton discussing the issue.

I was also featured in an article by Smooth FM called, “When you don’t bond with your baby instantly”.

Let us know how you went with your first or second or third babies? Was it the same or different? How did you go?

Categories
Family

Just Like Me

The other day one of the girls walked into the kitchen bawling her eyes out. She was so upset she could hardly tell me what the issue was. Once she calmed down a bit I finally learnt what the problem was.

I did initially think that she or her sister had hurt themselves and we might need to take a trip to the hospital. Thank goodness it wasn’t the case.

The kid who was extremely upset told me that she was very sad that Amy Pond and Rory had died. For those that are not aware of these names or characters, they are in Doctor Who. Yes my girls take after hubby and I with their love for the Doctor.

Amy Pond and Rory Williams, from Doctor Who. Image found on Pinterest.
Amy Pond and Rory Williams, from Doctor Who. Image found on Pinterest.

I tired so hard to make her feel better but she kept on saying things about Amy and Rory like they were real people…… OH gosh… what do I do now???? She is a sensitive little bunny and these things upset her. I was like her as a child.

Yes there are moments that I get frustrated at behaviour and then realise that I am exactly the same. Do you do this too?
Yes there are moments that I get frustrated at behaviour and then realise that I am exactly the same. Do you do this too?

One thing that I did say was how about we watch the next episode to see what happens….So I will do that with her to see what happens next. From memory all works out well….but she does not know that.

Although I was shocked at her attachment and upset for the characters of Doctor Who, I had to think back to what I did when I saw this episode for the first time.

I did the same thing. Yes I cry and get very upset. I do the same thing when one doctor dies and he morphs into a new person…. I get to love and like the doctor and I don’t want them to change at all…However it does change and therefore it means more upset from me and now from one of my girls.

It got me thinking about that saying “That awkward moment when you find yourself being frustrated with your child…For behaving just like you.”

I am getting annoyed that she gets upset easily…however I have completely forgotten that I do the same thing. It is major to a child if their favourite characters die in a show or a book. It is very upsetting as an adult too.

I made sure that we had cuddles and kisses and talked about it, she felt a bit better after some nice mummy cuddles.

Have you had moments that your little ones have pushed your buttons to then realise that their behaviour is exactly like yours? Let us know what happened.

 

Categories
Wednesday Wisdom

Lately Everything is A Mad Rush

Do you feel that you are racing around just to get everything done? Does it always seem like a mad rush?

Well if you can say YES to this I hear you.

I have felt like this for a while now that I am running around trying to get everything done and not really get much done at all.

Taking time for you and to enjoy your own company is great. I love the silence and peace that this gives me. When I get to do it. Image found on Pinterest.
Taking time for you and to enjoy your own company is great. I love the silence and peace that this gives me. When I get to do it. Image found on Pinterest.

Things that have been done:

  • Kids cared for
  • Kids taken and picked up from school
  • After school activities organised, paid for and driven kids to and from them
  • Cared for baby
  • Shopped for food and essentials at supermarket
  • Got birthday present for my mother in law
  • Washed clothes and now trying to fold and put them away
  • Cleaned kids room about million times. No point with this one as in seconds it is back to the destruction it was in before it was tidied up
  • Cook dinners for everyone
  • Pack lunches for kids
  • Check the mailbox for important mail (mainly checking for birthday presents to arrive, oh and a wedding anniversary gift)
  • Make sure that all excursions have been paid for and notes signed

I know there is more to add to this list but some things are a blur so I might have forgotten something important.

Just relax and breathe in good vibes..... and breathe out bad vibes! Image found on Pinterest
Just relax and breathe in good vibes….. and breathe out bad vibes! Image found on Pinterest

Racing around in the window of time that I have to myself never seems to get everything done. I did try and tidy up the bathroom in-between hanging clothes on the line. However I had to have the baby in the garden with me so was keeping an eye on him while doing some jobs.

When I get some time for me to just sit in silence and not race around I feel a little on edge. I think this is due to being on the go all the time and the constant activity and noise of now three kids. Sometimes it takes a while to just chill out, relax and just be.

I currently have a very sore neck and shoulders; It is rather painful. I tend to hold all my annoyance and stress in my shoulders, jaw and neck.  I have tried massage, hot showers and the chiropractor. Maybe I need all three? Or a nice Queensland holiday that allows me to be on the beach, sleep in and rest might be just what is needed.

How do you try and relax?

I try and watch some of my favourtie television shows or go for a walk on my own. Yes walking all by myself without kids is great (I need to wait till a weekend to do this as hubby needs to mind the kids). I also like to take myself off to a cafe for brunch or maybe to the movies to watch a film that I have wanted to see.

The Child Development Institute has a great list to help parents manage their stress. Why not check out some ideas that might help you next time or now if you are needing some relaxation time.

Taking the time to relax is very important. It is good for your health and of course relationships. 

Do you find it takes more time to relax than it used to? I truly believe due to being constantly on the go it takes the body more time to rest and de-stress. What about you?

I know it is hard but I do think we need to cut back on things and activities. I would just love to come home after school pick up and just be. I have also tried to make things a bit easier for me by doing some organising the night before. This means less stress in the morning and an easier start to the day. How do you make things easier for you when you are extremely busy?

Yep although I have my worries and annoyances, I have so many blessings that I am very grateful for. Image found on Pinterest.
Yep although I have my worries and annoyances, I have so many blessings that I am very grateful for. Image found on Pinterest.
Categories
Family

You’ve Kept Well

During the last week of the school holidays I bumped into one of the twins teachers. The girls were off at vacation care and Alexander and I decided a nice take away cup of coffee would be a lovely idea. The teacher from the kid’s school was in line ahead of me for the same thing. While we were waiting we got chatting.

During our chat we were remembering playing with LEGO when we were younger as I mentioned that the kids and I saw the LEGO movie again (It was mainly to show their nana, my mum the movie. I love it as it is so funny. Especially Batman’s death metal song). We seemed to share some of the same experiences as kids. She then said she was old and I said, “No! You are not that old!” She then told me her age. I replied saying that I was only a year younger than she was.

This admission from myself about my age seemed to shock this woman. She must not have thought I was in her age range. Oh well many people don’t pick my age and that is fine with me. My mum and nana went for years having people think they were much younger than they actually were. Maybe it is in the genes.

Alexander and I at the park
Alexander and I at the park

This lovely lady then told me this, “You’ve kept well”

I was very grateful to hear this and it is nice to have this said to you.

However it got me thinking about the phrase “You’ve kept well”, it made me think I have been enclosed in a Tupperware container and not had air get to me to retain my freshness.

I have also been told lately that I look like I was getting younger by another mum from the school. She mentioned that the baby has worked its magic and made me look young. WOW who knew this would be the case (Wouldn’t this be nice. Every child you have you get magically younger…. like a youth elixir. If only this was a thing).

I wish my hair would get with the program and stop falling out since the birth of our little boy and that my body would instantly look as good as it did pre-pregnancy. It has only been four months since I had my little boy so I will not put too much pressure to look fabulous body wise. If I get a walk or some exercise, or even time to just relax it is a good day.

Like everyone, I feel old some days and others I feel great and younger than I should be, I suppose it is dependent on my mood. Exercise makes me feel much better and more relaxed, however with kids it is hard to fit in. I do try though and have been taking walks with the baby in the pram. I just hope that the weather continues to be nice for a bit longer to allow me to do this.

Have you had some lovely compliments from friends, family or just strangers about how you look or something else? People saying nice things regardless of who they are is always welcome. It makes me feel wonderful and puts a big smile on my face. What about you? I also love to do the same for others as well. It is nice to make someones day.

Do people get surprised when they learn your age? Do you find that it changes things when they find out? I have friends of all ages and find that age is not an issue. Let us know.

 

Categories
News

Maternity Leave Perks?

Picture this. I am up at 3am or so. I’m feeding my baby boy.

While I do this I like to have the television on with the volume on low to maybe muted so that I can have some light in a very darken room, plus it does help while I get the baby back to bed as this can sometimes take hours.

You can imagine my shock when I saw a story on Good Morning America about a woman called, “Meghann Foye” and her book about “meternity leave”

Meghann wants all the perks of maternity leave but without having any kids!

I had not heard of this person and also about her idea of meternity leave…. I have obviously been having too much fun on my magical holiday with my new born baby.  

Mummy cuddling her baby.
Mummy cuddling her baby.

One point Meghann made was that parents left work on time to go home to their kids. Well she can do this too. Meghann can make a point of leaving on time to go home or to meet with mates after work. She does not have to have kids to do this.

I know that putting in extra hours at the office shows that you are keen and want to do more. However this can also not be helpful to you as you will be stressed out and might burn out due to the extra hours. Maybe the extra hours are the issue… if Meghann left on time she might not want meternity leave?

I was so intrigued and amazed I increased the volume on the television but was very conscious this might delay getting the baby back to sleep. I had to learn more about this weird idea.

Well I have a nasty shock for you Meghann, maternity leave is not an exotic holiday.

It is not a time that you can just do whatever you want, although it would be nice. You are caring for a new little person that relies on you for everything.

The reality is that you are on call 24 hours a day and also 7 days a week. No sick leave, no pay, and no help really. It is just you.

When you bring home your bundle of joy you are most likely still exhausted from childbirth, you are sore and just feeling like shit actually. Although you feel horrible you still love the fact that you had the baby and think it is amazing and also a fabulous experience.

However all the lovely fuzzy feel good stuff cannot erase the whole thought and feeling that you would really like to be left alone and have a HUGE SLEEP ALL ALONE!  This to date has not happened yet….I’m still waiting. Maybe I need some meternity leave now to have some time for me. This way I will get this long anticipated and wanted sleep.

I am not sure what Meghann means by perks of maternity leave?

Is it getting up at all hours to feed a baby?

Is it being extremely sleep deprived that you mix up dates and times. In reality you are really like a zombie…. I’m sure you know what I mean.

Maybe getting thrown up on when the kids are sick? I have had this times two.

Oh….. Wait maybe it is the fact that as the mother you are now the primary caregiver and you cannot get anything done without a little person or people following you around.

I do think it is wonderful that I have had three lovely little people and I feel blessed that we could do that. I also do understand that some women don’t want kids and that is fine too.

However to make out that maternity leave is like a glamourous vacation is just not so. How about you try and spend a day or even a week with me and that idea will be crushed in seconds.

  • Housework
  • Never getting to finish tasks
  • Being constantly interrupted
  • Cleaning
  • Washing and sorting clothes
  • Getting kids to school
  • Caring, feeding and all things baby. I do love my cuddles with our new little person and of course his lovely giggles and smiles.
  • Dropping kids and picking kids up from school
  • Taking kids to after school activities all with the baby…. Yes waking him up for everything is annoying but I have no choice
  • Getting the kids to do their reading, homework and other things for school. Now this is such a drama as they really don’t want to do this. I try and do this all while trying to settle and get a baby to bed, while the older two are having arguments and being loud and annoying

Do you think it sounds like there are fabulous perks yet? The only perk that I can come up with is that I have three little people that make me feel great when sometimes I don’t. They love me and I love them to bits.

I agree that everyone needs me time.

Everyone needs to be able to recharge their battery so to speak. Some downtime, a chance to chill and to refocus and maybe get the creative juices flowing again.

I don’t think that asking for time out to help with study, work or just to have a break is a bad thing. However trying to say that maternity leave is a perk is just wrong.

One place I worked for factored in some time to just be creative in the workday. This creative time allowed the staff member to explore other areas of interest, maybe learn something that would help them in their role or allow them to work on a pet project.

Me time is something that everyone should get. It is hard though when you take care of young children. It also might be hard if you are the carer of a family member. Time out is good for everyone, and also allows you to be a better mummy or carer since you had some time out. Not being able to do something for you and not having the time to do it can get very frustrating.

What do you think of Meghann Foye’s idea of meternity leave?  Do you agree that it should be a thing? I personally think that you can have this option it is just called holidays or say study leave. Or maybe it is called something else at your workplace.

I personally think that if you don’t have kids or other pressures you can have as much me time as you want.  I do understand people have to work and other commitments, but once you have done that, you can have your time.

Also if you figure out any other perks of maternity leave please send them my way!

 

Categories
Family

Third Child Hitting Milestones Early

Our little boy has been doing things early. Yes he is keen to stand, walk, sit up and do everything. He has not got the memo that he cannot stand, walk or sit up yet, but it does not stop him from trying.

Alexander is talking and telling us very important things. Some things he gets very worked up about and his chats go on for ages. Some chats are short and they consist of umming, blowing raspberries and trying out new sounds. Some chats end with him in a fit of giggles, maybe he has just told me the best joke in the world and he cannot control himself. Pity I don’t know the language to know if it was a fabulous joke or the winning lotto numbers.

He has laughed, and smiled before experts say he should have (Smiles and big laughs have been had since he was about a month old). He has big chuckles with things…. I think he has a great sense of humor already. He is a very happy baby (Obviously if he is in pain or annoyed he is not happy)

He has rolled over well before he was three months, at nine weeks he was trying and partially sit up.  At about two and half months I noticed he was drooling, putting his fists in his mouth and just wanting to chew everything. He loves chewing the sleeves and the front of his outfits, of course this makes everything wet due to the baby drool (Many outfit changes later to ensure warm and dry clothes – I think he is giving the twins a run for how many outfits he can wear in one day)

Of course I thought he was teething and then dismissed it. He is too young. It cannot be happening now.

Drool and fists in mouth persisted and of course then upset baby that needed mummy cuddles.

Alexander having tummy time and also to putting his hands in his mouth to soothe his gums. I just love his fab hair, it looks so stylish and funky.
Alexander having tummy time and also to putting his hands in his mouth to soothe his gums. I just love his fab hair, it looks so stylish and funky.

I checked gums and did not see anything until he forced my fingers into his mouth and then I felt the teeth working their way through the gums. My little boy is indeed teething and has been for a while now.

This was really silly of me to not see the signs. I just thought he was too young. I should have known better after having two kids that have gone through the same thing, although years ago now.

I must say that the twins from memory were good regarding teething. I just took the edge off with some painkillers and some bonjella and they were good. Although out of sorts but not screaming the place down like our little man is. He has some medicine when he needs it and then cries and needs mummy cuddles and attention until he falls asleep. We all know mummies cuddles fix everything don’t they.

The baby does see the twins race around the house and I can see that he is wanting to join them. I do understand that children learn by seeing others, and therefore thought that my third child might be quick with some things. However I did not think he would be teething so early. I mentioned this to nurse at the local medical centre and she told me that it could still take a while to see a tooth. We have not had a tooth erupt from the gums yet and not sure when it will happen, I’m just amazed that the process has started so early.

This milestone chart from BabyCentre UK lists some of the things that our new baby has done… so that is not too far off when it happened for us. According to this table we are on track. However other sites say that it all should happen later. I know that every baby is different and this kid is unique and an individual. He will do things when he is ready, it does not matter if it is early or later, just as long as they happen is all I am concerned with.

One person I know who also has three kids told me that his third child did everything much earlier than the first two. He believes it was the fact that he saw his siblings do everything and wanted to be like them. Did this happen to you? Did the first kid/s help the other children do things earlier?