Tag: identical twins

Categories
Family

Attitude Galore

I know that this kid is much younger than the girls and is not the twins. I just wanted a picture that conveys annoyance, being angry and upset. Sometimes the kids are like this regardless of their age.
I know that this kid is much younger than the girls and is not the twins. I just wanted a picture that conveys annoyance, being angry and upset. Sometimes the kids are like this regardless of their age.

Note: I wrote this yesterday in order to post today. Today the twins have been extremely good and I have hardly raised my voice. Not sure why they are being so good or what they want but I am just accepting the nice behaviour as lately it is a rare occurrence (Maybe they knew that I was writing this and are being good). One kid cleaned the living room, folded the clothes and put them away. She also wrote me a note saying that she loved me and had a glass of water waiting for me to drink. Very nice indeed.

 

Now to more of what has been the norm around here and to see if it is happening to you as well.

I know that this kid is much younger than the girls and is not the twins. I just wanted a picture that conveys annoyance, being angry and upset. Sometimes the kids are like this regardless of their age.
I know that this kid is much younger than the girls and is not the twins. I just wanted a picture that conveys annoyance, being angry and upset. Sometimes the kids are like this regardless of their age.

What is it with the twins lately?

Any time I open my mouth to ask them to do something or see what is going on and I get attitude!

Yep I kid you not.

I get told the following and it does not matter from which kid:

“Leave us alone!”

“You don’t need to know”

“It is none of your business”

Mind you this is all said to me with the grumpiest of voices and faces, plus it gets yelled at me or screamed like a banshee is yelling, not my children.

Could it be the age?

The twins are nearly nine and lately been wanting more independence. I like to walk them to school after I park the car but the girls have been asking me to park further away and let them walk the rest of the way. One kid said she wanted to “look like a big girl”.

The girls can do a lot of things on their own and some that I wish they would do is help put things away in the house, tidy their room and help when asked. However it seems like it is a fight to get them to do anything or listen at all.

One kid helped Daddy on our land putting up a silt fence. She worked so hard and even got blisters on her hands from putting up the fencing. She did a good days work. However if you ask her to pick something that she left on the floor up, this will be completely ignored.

Is Mummy Invisible?

I could be right next to one kid and ask them to pick something up or put something away and they will not hear me. Most likely ignoring me to see if I will forget about it. (Not likely!)

The same could be when either child wants to pick up things to take to the kitchen. I ask them to wait and tell them to take more than one item to the kitchen. (This makes sense doesn’t it. Why take one item to the kitchen and have to do several trips rather than one trip). While I am asking this child to wait they are already walking away from me. I have to repeat about four to five times to get them to come back and do the job correctly.)

Why is it that as soon as I organise some wonderful treat for the kids they turn into little nightmares. I pay and get tickets for fun events and the kids act horribly towards me during and after the event. Maybe I should not bother! Why does this happen? It is very annoying and stressful to have this constantly occur.

This happened last Monday when I took the twins, baby and myself off to see Despicable Me 3. They were good to a point and then turned into rude and horrible little people. Yelling at me to give them money for the arcade. Telling me that we were staying when I had already told them we were going home. I ended up going home and the kids ended up in their room until it was clean. Once the room was clean and they were behaving themselves they got lunch and could come out of their room.

Does this happen to you? You organise some fabulous outings for the kids for them to just be annoying and horrible about the whole thing. I have told my kids that if their silly behaviour continues they will be spending more and more time in their room. Geez lets hope it gets tidy if this happens.

It is frustrating when you are constantly repeating yourself, and feel like everything is a fight to get even a small thing done. After getting something achieved I feel exhausted as it has taken a lot of energy.

I feel like I need a drink and then a lie down. Maybe a G & T would be perfect after this type of carry on.

This is me, pretending the silly behaviour is not happening. I am also trying to get some quiet and alone time with no noise.
This is me, pretending the silly behaviour is not happening. I am also trying to get some quiet and alone time with no noise.

My Techniques to Help

I have explained to the kids that I am the only one that organises all the fun things for them due to the fact that I am the primary care giver. If the kids muck up they will not have fun and instead be watching the paint on the wall in their room.

One of my techniques to help the twins understand is to put it into context for them.

  • I asked if the girls would want to be friends with someone that once you did something nice for them ignored you? They said no.
  • I then asked if they would be happy if they got tickets to a fabulous event and then their friend complained every second they were at this event. Would they be happy about this? They said no.
  • After going to the movies and being told that there is only a certain flavour of chips available, and not accepting any alternatives. The actions of this child is screaming and crying. I then asked if they were taking their friend to the movies and this happened would they be happy about it. The kids said no.
  • When we go out and end up at a restaurant and the kids don’t like the food options. The reactions are hysterical meltdowns that are just crazy and horrible. I told the kids that we cannot control what the restaurant serves and they need to be more adventurous and try new foods. They agree but then don’t.  I asked if this happened to them how would they feel? Both girls told me that they would be unhappy and upset.

It seems that they understand how their behaviour is making me feel and that it is not nice. The twins acknowledge that they don’t want to be treated like this.

I then said then, “Why is it okay to treat mummy like this?”

Then I get the all encompassing answer, “I don’t know!”

Well I know they are being naughty and not nice and mostly to me and to me alone.

I told them that I don’t like being treated like this either. I don’t like doing nice things for kids who are not nice back.

So unless they can be nice, no fun things will happen.

I have also tried their silly answer to everything back at them. If they ask when dinner is happening I say, “I don’t know”, if I get asked if they can watch TV, I say, “I don’t know”, if I get asked what are we doing today, I then say, “I don’t know”.

I think you get the message. I know sometimes you don’t know and that is fine but this cannot be the answer to everything… maybe it is the other answer to life, the universe and everything?

The Twins Seem to be Better When Separated

Hubby and I noticed the other day that each child is much better behaved when they are on their own. Once they are together the silliness takes over and more naughty vibrations travel between them and they become extremely naughty. Would it be the twin connection?  Have you experienced this?

It is a pity that there are not a lot of opportunity to have more one on one time with each child. We are planning to do more of this on the weekends but it is harder during the week when I am the only care giver and therefore the kids are with me.

Let us know what is working for you?

Have you found it is the age that your children are at?

The twins are seeking more independence and I suppose due to the fact the girls are identical, they are making themselves different from their sister. 

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Categories
School

Twin Classroom Issues

My wonderful girls, very happy starting grade 3.
My wonderful girls, very happy starting grade 3.

My girls have started grade three and since grade one have been in separate classes.

They do say that twins need each other and more so if they are identical. I can say that this has been true to a certain extent for us. The girls are very attached to each other and therefore fret if they are apart for too long.

My wonderful girls, very happy starting grade 3.
My wonderful girls, very happy starting grade 3.

However due to them spending so much time together they get annoying.

By annoying, I mean yelling, hitting, biting, pinching, being naughty, creating problems and so much more. Oh the list goes on.

During the last term of school last year one of my girls was hysterical, upset and just miserable. Why I asked, and the answer was that she wished to be with her sister next year. She wanted to be in the same class, as she felt that she was missing out. Missing out on fun, missing out on friendships and more.

I did try and explain that since she spends so much time with her sister having her own space might be nice. This was met with screaming and yelling and more info about why she should be with her sister. I did not know if this was a good idea but I was very concerned due to how upset she was.

A meeting with the principal was in order to address this issue before school started for 2017. I met with our lovely principal and had some great chats. I explained that this kid was very sensitive and I think due to her attachment with her sister she might be best to be in the same class.

Personally I thought that each child did very well in different classes. Their reports were excellent last year, and I thought that it helps each child to be their own person, developing their own skills and finding what they like on their own. They won’t have each other to help all the time. In life they will have to do things on their own and be able to do this without a crisis.

I did speak with the other kid on her own to see if she wanted her sister to be with her in grade three. She said yes and said all the right things. However I was not convinced. I asked her several times over a couple of weeks and got the same answer. Yes I want my sister to be with me. I still was not sold.

The principal of the twins school met with one of the kids teachers, and found that one kid was doing much better without her sister being with her. The kids are fine together but the teacher thought that the shadow of her sister will make this kid not want to do things, or feel like she is having to do things just because her sister is there.

The kid that told me it was fine for her sister to be in her class, I was told feels pressured to do things that her sister does. Her teacher also mentioned that she is doing much better on her own and due to not reading at the same level (although only a few levels behind her sister might find that she is compared and will not try if they are together).

I do know that the kid that wanted to be with her sister brags about what a good reader she is and this makes her sister feel upset, so I can understand that being separate would have its benefits.

It was decided that the girls would be in different classes although the kid who was hysterical would be upset that is what was going to happen.

I asked if I could find out the teachers they would have for the new year and was lucky to get that info. Normally this does not get revealed until the first day of school.

Due to the fact that one kid was a mess and demanding to be with her sister I decided to tell both last year that they would again be separated and then had the wrath of screaming, yelling and crying that followed. It was horrible. Oh the joys of parenthood!

This kid screamed at the top of her lungs that she that she wanted to be with her sister. Why can’t this happen? Why can’t the school do this for her?

I explained that the teachers had already put both of them into classes prior to me talking to the principal, and after many discussions with the principal and other teachers it was decided that both kids would do better in different classes.

Still heaps of crying and yelling was happening! It did not stop.

All through this situation I was just hoping that we were doing the right thing. What if they need to be together I thought in my head? What if they need the connection to each other?

What would happen if she just had a terrible hysterical fit at the start of school and could not cope?

I was worried. I hope this does not happen.

I decided to tell the kids what teachers they had to make them a little happier about the situation. Well in fact only one kid was halving a terrible time about this. I think the other one was not fussed either way.

After I revealed what teachers they had one kid was very happy and the other was yelling at me again. She wanted to have the same teacher her sister did. Jeez this cannot happen. They are in separate classes! Oh boy back to the same issue about this kid not being happy about this again.

I of course was over it all and just feeling horrible.

 

I just wanted all the upset to go away.

 

I felt for my little girl and told her all the good things that will happen with her new teacher.

 

The girls have some lovely teachers this year. They will have fun, and learn so much. I’m glad that I told them last year as this gave them time to adjust and especially for the one kid who was so upset about it all.

Her new teacher was the same one her sister had when she was in grade one. He is a fabulous teacher, very creative, musical, loves dance and is very switched on. He is a lovely person.

My little girl was not upset but instead was very happy and joined her new class skipping with a smile on her face. She told me today that she loves her new class and teacher. She thinks he is awesome.(Thank goodness for this…I was dreading the outcome if she hated it all)

My other little girl is very happy with her classroom too, and likes the fact that she is doing something different from her sister.

I did explain that the girls will see each other at recess and lunch and also when I pick them up and at home. They won’t miss out on anything, the different classes just give each kid a chance to be themselves and to have some time for them.

I’m glad that both kids are happy in the new classes. The kid that was so upset and emotional about all this last year had me very worried if this was a good idea to keep them separated.

I can see benefits for both sides of the situation. Due to the fact that the girls had already been in separate classes for two years I was not keen on having them together for school again. I know if this needed to happen that is fine, but the kids were doing so well individually.

The girls share a room, I take them with me everywhere, they are rarely apart, so that time in the classroom is time for them.

Here are some links that might help you if you need to decide about separate classes:

The main reasons to separate twins in the classroom is due to competition between each sibling (if your twins are like mine they are super competitive and that then leads to arguments) and one twin being more dominant than the other. Separate classes are thought to help these issues.

Of course it is a personal choice and dependent on what your twins are like. If they are super close and cannot cope with being apart separating them might do more harm than good. It is a case by case situation.

I was asked at the end of kindergarten if hubby and I wished to separate the girls. We thought it was a good idea but were concerned with the fact that they were so close, and might need to be with each other. The school took matters into their own hands and separated them for grade one and they have been in separate classes ever since. I think if it was left up to me, I would have kept them together.

Do you have twins or triplets? Have you separated them for school? Or did you keep them together?

If you separated them do you think they are happier? Let us know.

Categories
Family

I Don’t Want to Look Like You!

Sometimes one kid finds it hard being a twin.

This became evident the other week when she had a HUGE meltdown getting ready to go to the pool.

Each child was getting ready to go to swimming lessons and then one had a screaming fit.

“Why are you wearing that dress? That is the one I want to wear!”

“I want to be different! I don’t want to look like you!”

Then screamed at the top of her lungs…

“I DON’T WANT TO BE A TWIN, I HATE BEING A TWIN!”

These girls have not argued about their dresses. Maybe it is coming when they are older? Did you find that? The kids were okay until they hit a certain age about what they wear.
These girls have not argued about their dresses. Maybe it is coming when they are older? Did you find that? The kids were okay until they hit a certain age about what they wear.

The kid who had the meltdown got a nice dress organised and then found that her sister picked the exact same dress to wear.

I then tried to diffuse the situation by saying maybe you could pick another dress.

This was met by, “I picked it first, she needs to pick another one not me!”

Oh shit I thought this is not going well at all.

I then turned to the sister who chose the dress after the other kid had already picked it and asked if she could change her dress. I tried to get her to wear something different.

No of course she did not want to change. She told me that she likes being a twin and wanted to be like her sister.

OH NO! I THOUGHT!

This just made the whole issue much worse.

The kid who was having the meltdown was yelling, screaming, crying and just so upset.

I asked why she was so upset about being a twin. I was trying to find out also what went on that day at school and what could have caused her to be so upset.

I finally found out that all day kids and teachers had mixed this kid up and thought she was her sister. One kid that has been with her since pre-school so now that is five years including this year of schooling and she still does not know who each kid is. I can only imagine how frustrating and annoying this would be.

Hugs and cuddles were had to tell her that I know it is not right to always be mixed up with your sister. I told her that although she looks similar that she is indeed a very different person.

She is an individual and not the same as her sister. I told her that this kid at school should know by now who she is, and that she needs to correct her nicely and just leave it at that.

One kid does have her ears pierced but hair is usually over her ears so most people don’t notice. If people take the time they will realise differences and know who is who. If you don’t spend a lot of time with the girls you might not see it, but I would think teachers and school mates would be able to work it out by now.

Finally there was calm, well it was much calmer with less yelling from one child. So I would say it was an improvement. The kid who was upset decided to accessorise with jewellery to look different and wear different shoes. Phew! Finally we could leave the house to go to the pool.

I know it is a hard thing always having someone that looks like you, dresses like you would be annoying at times. Being you and having your own space is nice.

If you have twins how have you coped when they constantly get mixed up? Did one of your kids have a meltdown like one of mine did? What was the outcome of the meltdown?

Did the kid in question want to dress differently or have their hair a different style to make sure that they are seen as different, especially if they are identical like my girls?

 

Let us know.

 

Categories
School

Grade 1 and Separate Classes

Today is the first day of school and the kids first day in grade 1. Yes my little girls are getting bigger and they are both so pleased to be the bigger kids now in grade 1.

It would have been nicer if the weather was sunny and not overcast with non stop rain but you cannot have everything. The girls were saying that they were hoping it was a good day to play outside but were a bit disappointment due to having to be inside on days like this at school.

In preparation for school starting I purchased new hats, new socks, new shoes (of course they have grown and I had to get bigger shoes) and polo shirts. I was lucky to be given the great YUUWorld Bags for the girls, which the kids were telling all their friends about the new bag and how amazing it is! (Get 10% off your very own YUUworld Bag until 10th of Feb) Did you stock pile supplies in anticipation of school going back? I was lucky to see the shoes that the girls wanted last year in the right size this year and to find two pairs was good work.

firstdayofgrade1I had to wake the kids up as they were so tired from the night before and of course have been sleeping in due to holidays. I really hate waking sleeping children… my instinct is to walk away and to let them sleep, however this will do no good if they need to be at school. Plus leaving them sleep will mean a later start which is not good on the first day and of course possible kids not wanting to go and therefore ruining mummy’s first day off in a while.

Did you have to wake up kids for school today? Or was I the only one?

I got kids up at 7am and I had breakfast ready for them. Weet-Bix is their favourite and they finsihed that off in no time. Then after breakfast I make them get their clothes ready for school before they get into the shower. Having their clothes ready means they are all ready once dry to put on the uniform and be ready to leave.

While the kids were in the shower I made their lunches as we had a late night last night I did not make them like I normally do. All lunches done I packed up their new funky school bags from YUUWorld and we were all ready to drive off to school. It took a bit longer in the fog and the rain but we got there. Pity that the streets were not like last week and I could not find a park (last week the streets were empty and parking was so easy). Park finally sorted, we then walked to school to then find out no one knew where we were supposed to be.

Finally the kids went to their old teacher from last year and classroom and then they came to the hall were all the parents were waiting. Once all kids and teachers were at the hall the children were put into classes. I was thankful that they did the younger kids first and then I could leave the hall.

The first class was called and my girls were not in that one. Must be the next one they will be in. The second one had Lillian in but not Julia. OH NO! Will Julia be okay? Lillian was smiling and I could not see Julia. The class Lillian is in is a mixture of grade 1 kids and grade 2 children. So that is good and I’m pleased for this. I think different levels help learning and inspire the younger ones to do more or get exposed to what the others are doing.

Lillian has a male teacher and one of the parents thinks he might be a temp but I hope not. He seems lovely and I hope he stays. It would be nice to have more male teachers at the school as they seemed to only have one last year and it helps with diversity.

Now Lillian’s class went off and she bent down to kiss and hug Julia. That was nice… I was very pleased to see this.

Julia’s class was called and then they went off to their classroom. Julia has a wonderful teacher also and her class is a mix of grade 1’s and grade 2’s as well. So again a good mix.

Both kids have some good mates in their class and seemed to be very happy.

Once the first kid got put in her class and the other was not called, my heart sank. I was upset and worried about how the kids would react. Would they cry, yell or get very upset. Would this be a drama and a meltdown???? I had no idea. I braced myself for it. I was holding back some upset and tried not to cry. I know silly really but I was feeling what I thought they would feel. I ended up being the only one crying but I was happy…. I was just emotional and dealing with the shock I suppose of having the kids separated when I thought they were going to be together. I am very pleased that the kids were happy and adjusted well…. Now I just need to work on me adjusting to the new situation.

They are in separate classes for the first time

Hubby and I have been thinking separate classes was the way to go and their kindy teacher last year said she thought that might be a good idea. I was asked and I thought from the discussions that they were going to be put together. No not to be. I am pleased that this was what the school decided and in a way it was out of my control.

One kid gets very annoyed when the other does something she could not or is trying to do. It is not a bad thing but it might take more than one or two goes to get a new skill or technique. Sometimes things work or go well sometimes they don’t. Both the girls are on track and are very similar so if one does not get something it is only the next week or the next day or so when it all equals out.

I do feel that this will help them individually and allow them to be their own person. Being identical twins is one thing but always getting mistaken for the other in the classroom would be annoying. Different classes and teachers will also show the strengths of both children. I sometimes thought that the teacher was mixing up things in the report card and that is easy to do when there are two children doing the same work and you wonder who did what.

I was just very worried as they are both so connected emotionally and was fearful that they might pine for each other and not do well. I know this is good for their growth and development; the classrooms they are in are right next door so they can come and see each other if they want to. They see each other at recess and lunch and of course share a room at home. One big plus is that they will have a lot more to tell mummy and daddy about their day as it will be completely different. They will have their own stories not shared ones, how cool will that be!

My challenge now is to do reading for both kids in the different classes and try to be there for events and special occasions for each classroom. I hope the kids have a good day at school and love their new classes. I hope they like being in their own class and not with their sister.

How have you gone on the first day back at school? Was your child/children happy to go or were there tears? Hope all went well and now to plan my time in the next few weeks.

Question:

If you have twins or multiples have you put them in different classes? When did you split them up. The girls were together for two years of pre-school and also to last year in Kindergarten. Let us know.

 

Categories
5 years and beyond

Reading With Kids Has A Big Impact

Do you read to your kids? Do your children love books and want to know how to read? The twins have been desperate to learn ever since they understood what a book was. Hubby and I of course have read to them since birth and we make sure we impart the love of books and what reading well can do for you in life.

In a recent study it has shown that if you grow up with a lot of books, get read to and of course love books it will have a big impact on a child starting school and their performance at school. I know this might not be a surprise to some but of course if you are surrounded by books and your parents love reading it might flow onto your children. Mostly it does. Of course you might say that people who have more time or more money can do more for their kids and that might be so.

Sam and Bingo. Level 3 reader. Story by Jenny Giles and Illustrations by Pat Reynolds.
Sam and Bingo. Level 3 reader. Story by Jenny Giles and Illustrations by Pat Reynolds.

However this is not so…. according to Professor Walker it does not matter if you are well off or not. As long as you read to your child and show an appreciation for books it is all good. (Well that is good to know. I am still working on getting the mansion, the yacht and the city abode. I still have time…. but not liking my chances)

“Professor Walker said that if a parent placed a high value on literacy, as shown by the number of books they had, they would read to their child regardless of their socio-economic status.” (Essential Baby, 1st June, 2014)

The girls have come on with their reading very well. It might have something to do with of course being surrounded by books. We have a bookshelf just for them and they take books out and pretend to read them but mostly look at the pictures and play. I end up coming in and finding piles of books that need to be put back into the bookcase.

Since the twins started kindy they have now progressed to level 3 readers. Some kids are on that level, some not, and some on higher levels. All fine and doing well for them. It is great that the school sees how well the individual child is doing and progresses them so that they keep learning and don’t get bored.

We have had issues of one child doing well and upsetting the other. This has caused an issue on her confidence with reading. I have made sure that I have told the child in question that she is reading very well and there is nothing wrong. All she needs to do is to just practice and it will all work itself out.

Sam and Bingo. Level 3 reader. Story by Jenny Giles and Illustrations by Pat Reynolds.
Sam and Bingo. Level 3 reader. Story by Jenny Giles and Illustrations by Pat Reynolds.

If you have twins have you found that one twin was excelling at something and the other twin was upset with the success? How did you cope? All I have done is make sure to say that both are doing an excellent job, and find ways to give big praise to good work for the kid that is doing well and the other that is doing well also. It is hard. Especially when you are faced with very competitive children. They always have to be doing well and get upset when they don’t. Are your twins like this?

According to the Essential Baby article:

“Being read to often increases a child’s vocabulary and enjoyment, and requires them to pay attention and remain engaged.”  (Essential Baby, 1st June, 2014)

So make sure that you are reading to your child every day. It does not need to be at night time. Just make some time for you and your little one to have some time together and read a book. The kids are at the stage now for me to show them more words in books that I am reading. I put my finger on the words like they do with their school readers. This way they know what word is what. Hopefully next time they will reconigse it and it will be easier to read it on their own.

The kids learn to read differently than I did. It is all about sight words. Knowing these sight words by heart so that they are able to read simple books. The sight words are common words like, and, this, I, me and so on. Once the child understands these words reading a simple book and starting at stage 1 these books are very basic but that is fine. You gotta start somewhere. I am also teaching the kids to sound things out, phonetically like the way I learnt to read. Yes I know it is not like the sight words way.

Sounding out words is helpful as it allows the child to figure out a word themselves. I have done it a bit now and have noticed that the twins are doing it more and more.

I also volunteer to do school reading at the school. When the kids read their readers they put their fingers on each word and the text is aligned to their sight words. They have been told to look at the picture to help them understand the story and it is a good idea to look at the book before you read it so they have an idea of what it is about. I hear a group of kids read and make sure that all is correct and they are doing well. In my group I of course have the twins but other kids as well. All of the kids are doing very well and are all at different levels.

Having a chat to the teacher is also a good move if you are worried or think that all is good and the child in question just needs some motivation. I was saying all great things but as soon as it came from the teacher it meant more. Give it a go and see!

Sam and Bingo. Level 3 reader. Story by Jenny Giles and Illustrations by Pat Reynolds.
Sam and Bingo. Level 3 reader. Story by Jenny Giles and Illustrations by Pat Reynolds.

Do your kids pile up books in their beds like mine? Do they leave their night lights on wanting to read all night? Mine do. I suppose that is a good sign. Although it is hard to turn off a light when it is on the top bunk. To do this I need to climb up and over a kid to turn off the light.

I suppose it is just good they love books and are doing well. Let us know how it is in your household.

 

Categories
4 years and beyond

Same Classroom?

This infographic addresses an important issue. To separate your twins at school or not? Hubby wants to separate the girls but I think they would be miserable without each other.  The girls are so close and as it is a major change I feel we let them be together, we will monitor it and see how they go and the interests of each child. What are your thoughts?

Twins in the Classroom

Twins in the Classroom infographic by OnlineSchools.