Tag: new mums

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20 Reasons Why Bananas Are Great For Mum and Little Ones

From the moment you realise you are going to be a mum until your child is getting dressed all by themselves, Australian bananas are the ideal addition to both your diets. Accredited Practising Dietitian, Glenn Cardwell provides 20 reasons why:

Cavendish Bananas
Cavendish Bananas

 

Pregnant & New Mums

Pregnancy is the time to pamper your body and understand the impact of your eating – especially since you are dining for two. One way to give your diet a pinch of powerful production is to add nature’s non-stop energy snack, bananas.

Circular Flour-less White Chocolate Cake with Orange Blossom and Banana
Circular Flour-less White Chocolate Cake with Orange Blossom and Banana

Bananas are excellent when you are expecting because they not only contain essential nutrients for the healthy growth of your bundle of joy, but they are also good for managing morning sickness and constipation that sometimes come with having a baby on board.

  1. Relieving Your Heaving

Thankfully, morning sickness usually only lasts the first trimester but that doesn’t make it fun (however if you are like me pregnancy makes you sick all the time. Bananas have been helping me feel better for breakfast now that I’m in my 3rd trimester.) Eating dry crackers, toast or a piece of fruit like a banana in the morning before you get out of bed, and having small snacks frequently through the day can help as it keeps the stomach from being empty, which can make you feel unwell. Avoiding spicy and fatty foods can sometimes help ease nausea as well.

  1. Reduce Constipation

As the muscles in the intestine lose some of their tone during pregnancy, foods pass more slowly through the gut. The pressure of the baby on the mother’s intestines can also slow down the passage of food and waste, resulting in constipation. The solution is copious amounts of fibre, which bananas provide aplenty, fluids and physical activity. Although the banana is an obvious choice to boost your fibre intake, other fruits, wholegrain breads and cereals and legumes are good options.

  1. Energy to Burn

Bananas are an excellent source of carbohydrate energy in the form of natural sugars and starch. It’s no wonder they call it nature’s non-stop energy snack.

  1. Protect Against Spinal Cord Defects

Folate is vital in the development of a baby’s spinal cord in the womb. It is so critical that the vitamin is recommended to women considering pregnancy. An overwhelming body of evidence has linked folate deficiency in early pregnancy to increased risk of neural tube defects, most commonly known as spina bifida, in infants. One banana will provide about 10 per cent of your folate needs each day.

  1. Form Strong Gums

Extra Ascorbic acid (vitamin C) is required for forming new blood vessels, skin, gums, and other tissues, and even bones. One or two bananas each day will provide valuable vitamin C, as will other fruit, fruit juice and salad vegetables.

Banana and Coconut Milk Pops
Banana and Coconut Milk Pops
  1. Absorb Your Iron

In order for a healthy amount of oxygen to reach your baby via the placenta, your body (and your blood) needs about 50 per cent more iron than usual. Although a banana provides only a little iron, its vitamin C greatly helps with iron absorption from other foods. Iron supplements (usually with folate) are commonly recommended during pregnancy.

  1. Strengthen Bones and Teeth

Calcium is required for strong bones and teeth, and in nerve and muscle growth, both for mum and baby. An extra 300mg of calcium is required for pregnant teenagers as they are still growing as well as nourishing the baby. The perfect way to bump up calcium intake is to regularly drink smoothies – simply blend a banana with a cup of high calcium milk.

  1. Help Babies Grow

Extra protein is needed during pregnancy and breastfeeding to support the growth of the baby, and the production of breast milk. This is easily achieved by adding a delicious banana smoothie (a medium banana and 200mL of milk) to your daily diet.

  1. Boost Your B6

Uniquely, bananas are one of the richest fruit sources for vitamin B6. This powerful vitamin is important for cardiovascular, digestive, immune, muscular, and nervous system function. New or expecting mothers’ daily need for it increases by almost 50 per cent, making bananas a great solution.

Square Flour-less White Chocolate Slice with Orange Blossom and Banana
Square Flour-less White Chocolate Slice with Orange Blossom and Banana
  1. Baby’s First Food

After six months, your baby’s exclusive exposure to the bottle or the boob is coming to an end. Their digestive system is now ready for solid food. Here are a few reasons why Australian Bananas make the ideal first food:

  1. Essential Nutrients

Bananas are soft, easy for an infant to tackle, and rich with essential nutrients, including vitamin B6, folate, vitamin C, magnesium, potassium, and natural sugars for energy.

  • Half a medium banana will give an infant:
    • Folate: 33 per cent of their daily needs
    • Magnesium: 25 per cent of their daily needs
    • Vitamin B6: 50 per cent of their daily needs
  1. Familiar Consistency

Mash a banana with breast milk or formula when introducing solids. It is more likely to be accepted quickly as a new food.

  1. Made For Tiny Hands

The banana is the ideal finger food. It can be nibbled, chewed, sucked and squished. Give your child a small amount at a time.

LadyFinger Bananas
LadyFinger Bananas
  1. Easing Teething

During teething, a cool or frozen banana can help relieve the pain of a tooth coming through.

Nature’s Long-Lasting Energy Snack For Toddlers

Australian bananas make the ideal snack for toddlers. Whether they are just starting to walk or speaking in sentences, children at this age need one fruit serve each day. This might be a medium banana, or half a banana and half of another fruit. While bananas are very popular with young children, it is also important to introduce them to other fruits, especially once they start getting teeth towards the end of their first year of life.

  1. Great Source of Carbohydrates for Energy

To fuel the activity of a toddler, they need carbohydrates at each meal. Bananas are an excellent source of the nutrient in the form of natural sugars and starch.

  1. Protein for Growth

Normal growth needs protein to help produce new cells. A small banana smoothie (150 mL milk and a half banana) as a snack or meal is an excellent source of both protein and calcium.

  1. Vitamin B6 for Blood Health

This vitamin is needed for making red blood cells, and carrying nerve impulses. A small banana will provide about one third of their B6 needs for the day.

Banana Guacamole for Kids
Banana Guacamole for Kids
  1. Folate for Growth and Brain Health

The B vitamin folate is needed for proper growth and development. Half a banana will give a toddler about 15 per cent of their folate needs each day.

  1. Fibre for Digestive Health

Bananas are a great-tasting source of fibre, so even a small serving a day for a young child will help keep them regular.

  1. Convenience

Toddlers only want to eat when they are hungry, and they may not want to finish everything on their plate, making snacks like bananas so convenient. You can simply cut them in two and save half in the refrigerator in plastic wrap for later.

Glenn Cardwell is an Accredited Practising Dietitian with 35 years in clinical and public health nutrition, including 10 years as consultant dietitian to the National Heart Foundation, five years at the Children’s Hospital in Sydney, and was a major player in establishing the WA School Canteen Association in 1994.

For the latest news and information, ‘LIKE’ Australian Bananas on Facebook www.facebook.com/AustralianBananas and Instagram @australianbananas

 

Drooling over the Circular Flour-less White Chocolate Cake with Orange Blossom and Banana
Drooling over the Circular Flour-less White Chocolate Cake with Orange Blossom and Banana
Categories
Family

Interview with Pinky McKay – BigW Bub & Me Series

Having a baby is a life-changing event and one that requires preparation.  I read books, looked online and asked other mums about their experiences.

For me I was not just having one child first, I ended up having twins as my first children. I don’t know how many do this but I am sure that it is not that common.

BigW invited me to be a part of their Bub & Me Education Program in collaboration with select midwives across Australia.

This post is the first in my three-part series about being a new mum, breastfeeding, childbirth and great things you can get from BigW for your new little person/people.

My interview with Pinky McKay

Below are my questions to Pinky and her answers, I hope that this interview is helpful for all new mums.

 

Pinky McKay is Australia’s most recognised breastfeeding expert
Pinky McKay is Australia’s most recognised breastfeeding expert

 

Q1. The expectation of what it is like to be a parent to the reality can be quite a shock for new mums. What do you tell new mums about suddenly being responsible for a little person? 

A 1. A recent survey by Big W in conjunction with The Australian College of Midwives revealed one in three (32%) of Aussie mums struggle the most with self-doubt, which is really not surprising. Having a baby is rather like visiting a foreign country for the first time: no matter how well you prepare, no matter how many frozen casseroles there are in your freezer, how many products you buy or how many classes you attend, there will be shocks.  

The relentlessness of caring for a newborn is something we can’t really imagine until it happens to us. I wish every pregnant woman could spend a day (and night) with a new mum and support her – hold her baby while she showers, while she naps, and see that crying isn’t just for newborns, mums cry too (I warn partners about this too). The biggest surprise can be the weird brain things that happen such as ‘hearing’ your baby crying when you are having a shower, then racing to check and finding him peacefully sleeping, right where you left him, neatly swaddled in his safety-approved cot.  

Q2. How do you help new mums with sleep deprivation and learning about their new baby? 

Pinky:  Before birth, I suggest how important it is to set up your support network. If I am seeing a desperate new mum, I always ask about what level of support she has and discuss ways to get support if she doesn’t have enough help. We are so conditioned that reaching out and asking for practical help is ‘weak’. It absolutely takes a village, whether this is hired help, friends and family or government-funded ‘in-home care’ (I have facilitated this for families with high needs).   

The biggest thing is about lowering expectations both of yourself and your child and filtering out the ‘noise’ about what you ‘should’ be doing –according to a recent survey by Big W, 67% of mums say social media puts pressure on mums to live an ‘insta-worthy’ life.   

While good basic care such as eating healthy meals and resting are especially important in the early weeks as women are healing from growing and birthing a baby, guarding your emotional energy needs to be a priority. Often, the pressure and anxiety around baby sleep, for instance, can take more energy than the lack of sleep. I tell mums, YOU are the expert about YOUR well baby. You can trust yourself and your baby and the amazing connection between you and your child. If you feel confused by advice, you can filter it by checking, ‘is it safe? Is it respectful? And, does it feel right? And if you have concerns, check in with your health carers, not ‘randoms’ on social media.  

Q3. I thought I knew what I was doing with my third child, but he was so different and nothing I did worked. I was doing all the things that worked with the twins but finally had a realisation that he is a different person and I needed to listen to his cues and focus on what he likes and doesn’t like. How do you help parents do this from the start if they have more than one child?  

Pinky: As a mum of five, I was always amazed at how unique each child was, from their temperament to their development. Although babies all have similar needs for security and love, it’s helpful to discuss how they vary in the ways they express those needs. They are unique, individual little beings and although we can support their personalities, we can’t ‘mould’ our child or reflect in the glory of having an ‘easy’ baby. It’s best to observe and get to know each new baby’s cues and respond to that baby in a way that’s right for them. If we do have a more sensitive baby, the good news is that we really can’t short-change them or they will let us know, and by responding promptly, they will feel secure and usually become happy, calm little people as they grow.   

  

Q4. My third child was super fussy, had reflux and found it hard to remove burps and any gas from his body. Not only did he cry all the time, not settle well and want to be held all the time I was walking around like a zombie due to the lack of sleep. Do you have any recommendations on how to settle a fussy baby or one that has other issues that are making things more difficult for him/her to sleep and to eat? 

Pinky: Rather than simply heading to ways to ‘settle’ although of course, keeping your baby as comfortable as possible is important for baby and you, it’s worth trying to work out why this is happening. For instance, could there be allergies or food intolerance contributing to reflux symptoms (your baby is never allergic to your breast-milk but may react to foods passing through your milk)? Tongue-tie can also mean babies are swallowing air because their latch and sucking is often ineffective, and a fast breast milk flow can also create issues for young babies swallowing air as they feed – reclining as you feed or ‘paced bottle feeding’ can slow the flow and make it easier for baby to manage.   

It is really hard work when you have a super unsettled baby, especially if you have other children, but wearing your baby in a carrier or wrap can help settle your baby and you can still do activities with two free hands. There are also ‘holds’ that can help relieve gas pains such as lying baby across your arm on his tummy, with his head facing your elbow and supporting him with a hand between his legs as you walk/sway. Baby massage can be a great way to support your baby’s nervous system and move the gas – clockwise circles on baby’s tummy, alternated with knee bends. 

Q5. I expressed my breastmilk for all three kids and due to the twins being premmies this was needed. However, I thought having a singleton that was born exactly at 40 weeks that he would be better at breastfeeding. It turned out that my third child couldn’t latch on and would only eat a bit and then wanted more. I would feed more and then he would wriggle and scream at me all the time. So, I decided, since it was frustrating him and me and causing me stress to express breastmilk again was the way to go. Are there ways to increase your breastmilk supply when you are stressed, running on no sleep and caring for two other kids and husband. 

Pinky: Wow! That sounds like a nightmare. Firstly, it’s important that regardless of your sleep (or lack of it), that you eat regularly – handy one-handed snacks such as Boobie Bikkies, avocado or cheese on crackers, a can of tuna or salmon and boiled eggs (cook several and keep them in the fridge) are an easy boost – and drink according to your thirst.  Your partner’s /husband’s support is vital – he is a grown-up so needs to take up some of the slack, not expect to be ‘looked after’.  Please don’t be shy about setting up a help roster with friends, whether that is doing a school pickup, taking your other kids out so you can rest and focus on feeding or bringing food. Most people are delighted to share the experience of a new baby.  

Try to set up young children with activities and snacks (‘Netflix and chill’, even if it’s a kids’ show or sit on the big bed and read stories or sit outside and get the toddlers to ‘paint the fence’ with water), so you can spend time giving baby skin to skin snuggles to boost your milk-making chemistry and allow baby to feed frequently.  

Remember, an empty breast makes milk more quickly so as you breastfeed or pump, you can try massage and breast compressions (high up on your breasts, not down near the nipples) to help empty your breasts more effectively. You will notice your baby start swallowing more quickly and if pumping you will see the milk start flowing a few seconds after compressions. If you are exclusively pumping or baby isn’t a strong feeder you can try power pumping (as well as putting baby to the breast if he will latch): To power pump: Pump for 20 minutes; Rest for 10 minutes; Pump for 10 minutes; Rest for 10 minutes; Pump for 10 minutes. A double electric pump is most effective – otherwise, if you use a single pump, instead of the rest periods, switch breasts and pump the other side.  

If you have concerns about breastfeeding, it’s always helpful to see an IBCLC Lactation Consultant who can take a history of your baby and you and give you personalised advice (conditions such as thyroid disorders, PCOS, low iron levels, retained placenta or PPH can all influence milk supply).  

  Pinky McKay is Australia’s most recognised and respected Breastfeeding expert. She’s an IBCLC Lactation Consultant, Best Selling Baby Care Author, Mum of five and creator of Boobie Bikkies, award-winning, all-natural and organic cookies to nourish breastfeeding mothers and support a healthy milk supply. Download our FREE ebook ‘Making More Mummy Milk, Naturally  for Pinky’s top tips to help you boost your milk supply 

DID YOU KNOW?

  • BIG W research reveals three-quarters of Aussie mums have regrets about their first pregnancy including spending a whopping $163 million on baby products, as well as spending over 23 million hours shopping ahead of the birth of their first child.
  • Social media pressure – Two thirds (67%) of Aussie mums of children aged 0-13 agree that social media puts pressure on new mums to lead “instaworthy” lives
  • Shop ‘til they drop – one in six mums spend a staggering 41 hours or more shopping for baby products before birth
  • Bub & Me time – 25% of Aussie mums say they regret not savouring the time when they were pregnant
  • Special talents – Breastfeeding is the achievement Aussie mums are most satisfied with, with one in four (24%) claiming it as the skill they are most confident in
    Highs and lows – 1 in 3 Aussie mums found the first six weeks after giving birth to be the hardest phase of their baby’s development.

Did you know that the most enviable celebrity mums include:

  • P!NK (33%)
  • Julia Morris (23%)
  • Laura Byrne (21%)
  • Kate Ritchie (20%)

A huge thank you to BigW and Pinky McKay for this opportunity. Make sure to stay tuned for the next two posts in BigW Bub & Me Series on Mummy to Twins Plus One.

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Family

Can You Catch Up On Sleep?

Can you ever catch up with sleep?

Will there ever be a time that I feel fully refreshed?

DID YOU KNOW?
“Adults should have between 7-9 hours of sleep each night, however 40% of Australian adults still get inadequate sleep.” Sleep Health Foundation.

I thought that I had a goods night last night.

I slept. I actually passed out.

Finally, the pillows felt comfortable and the sheets were soft and just right. Perfect really.

However, I do have an issue. When the baby wakes, I finally wake up and although super comfy I am awake, but yet still very tired.

Maybe my body was not in sync with my need to rest? My body decided that it was this time to make a visit to the bathroom. This could be the reason why I was more awake but still sleepy. I didn’t want to move but decided it was best to go to then allow me to go back to sleep.

I think from memory it was about 2 am.

I do try not to pay attention to the time as then my brain focuses on the time rather than getting back to sleep.

If I don’t know the time, I don’t worry about how much longer I have left to sleep.

Most of the time my sleep is interrupted by my little boy Alexander. He is either hungry, upset, or sick.  Last week he wasn’t well and as you might have guessed I was up helping him feel better.

It is so nice when you can finally be in your room without having to get up every hour or more. To be able to rest and have a good nights sleep.

Why is it when you can finally sleep through  your body wakes up and you struggle to get back to sleep?

Not fair at all!!!!!!

Is it due to your body being used to being up at odd hours for days on end? Maybe it is? I wish my body would get the message that this is not normal.

All this missed sleep and feeling like a zombie made me think…

“Can you ever catch up on lost sleep?”

According to a Scientific American article, “Can You Catch Up on Lost Sleep?” you can if you do the following:

“The good news is that, like all debt, with some work, sleep debt can be repaid—though it won’t happen in one extended snooze marathon. Tacking on an extra hour or two of sleep a night is the way to catch up. For the chronically sleep deprived, take it easy for a few months to get back into a natural sleep pattern, says Lawrence J. Epstein, medical director of the Harvard-affiliated Sleep HealthCenters.”

 

The 16th of March is World Sleep Day

Preserve your rhythms to enjoy life is the slogan for World Sleep Day. 

Your rhythms are:

  • Daily patterns of alertness
  • Sleep-wake cycle
  • Mood
  • Hormones
  • Digestion
  • Heart rate
  • Body temperature
  • Performance
  • And also lung function

Changes to light and also to sleep-wake cycles have consequences to your sleep.

“Maintaining stable circadian rhythms is key to good health: If we continually disrupt our rhythms, for example through shift work or burning the midnight oil, then we increase the risk of sleep disorders, mental health disorders and chronic health issues such as obesity, diabetes, and even some cancers, which can leave us struggling to enjoy life.”

There are 3 elements of good quality sleep:

    • Duration: The length of sleep should be sufficient for the sleeper to be rested and alert the following day.
    • Continuity: Sleep periods should be seamless without fragmentation.
    • Depth: Sleep should be deep enough to be restorative.

Getting up during the night for kids is not helpful for sleep.

I don’t function very well if I don’t get enough sleep and therefore need to catch up on my rest.

In fact, I’m a shit parent if I don’t enough sleep. Being sleep deprived, having to look after kids, do school drop off, after-school activities and play with everyone takes it out of you when you have had less than an hour or two of sleep.

No sleep also makes me make mistakes, and have accidents (By accidents, I mean bumping into furniture, dropping things, not thinking and being forgetful).

Me very tired and not wanting to get out of bed. It is so comfortable and I really don't want to leave. Pity I had to take kids to school and other things.
Me very tired and not wanting to get out of bed. It is so comfortable and I really don’t want to leave. Pity I had to take kids to school and other things.

 

I am not sure if I am able to do the 3 elements of good sleep on a regular basis but I’m getting there.

What about you? Do you get deep sleep that is not interrupted?

Lately, I have found that I just lie awake at some point and struggle to get back to sleep. Sometimes I find the bed super comfortable and drift off to the best sleep ever… I just wish I could do of this on a regular basis.

It could be just down to having kids and now I am on call at all times. Any noise means that I’m wide awake.  I used to be such a deep sleeper.

If this is a biological thing that affects women I think it is just another annoyance that us women have to live with and try and manage.

“A study published in NeuroReport looked at the brains of 18 men and women who heard a baby crying while inside a brain scanner. The women’s brain activity suggested an immediate alertness, while the men’s brain activity didn’t change.” (https://www.mother.ly/news/this-is-what-happens-to-a-mothers-brain-when-her-baby-cries)

No wonder I end up wide awake at different times during the night or early morning. Any cry from a baby makes my brain become immediately alert.

Alexnder seems to cry out a few times in the night and still be asleep. This has made me wake up and struggle to get back to sleep.

Not only are we faced with periods, childbirth, sleepless nights with young children, then not sleeping and then to top it off menopause. Cmon and let us have some rest, please!

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Categories
Birth

My Pregnancy Fears Revealed

I have spoken to many women about their pregnancy journey, and then their birth stories. Most of the things that they dreamt or thought about never actually happened.

While at Problogger last year (Alexander was eight months when I attended Problogger in 2016. I was having a funny conversation with other bloggers and the topic of my fears and worries while pregnant with baby three was discussed.)

New born baby - This cutie is looking very relaxed and has no idea about all the drama that went on before they were born.
New born baby – This cutie is looking very relaxed and has no idea about all the drama that went on before they were born.

When I was pregnant with the twins I had horrible thoughts. I watched a film when I was about five months pregnant and I ended up having terrible dreams. Now, this film was a horror film and just horrible really. One scene had a person put on a tea trolley or hospital trolley (never sure what to call them). In the film, this person met a terrible end and I found it hard to watch.

My dream was being on this trolley as a pregnant woman with twins. They were then trying to tell me that the babies were coming and if they didn’t come they would take matters into their own hands. I was shackled to the trolley and it was uncomfortable, scary, and freaky. They were going to cut me open to save the babies. I of course was screaming, NO! They are not ready. It is too early and stuff like this.

The room I was in was like the bottom of a hospital that was all tiled and not kept very clean at all, it also reminded me of some shows that use disused railway stations as it looked rather like those.

I woke very upset and was thankful it was a dream. Maybe horror films when pregnant is not a good idea!

Flash forward to being pregnant with Alexander and I had all sorts of concerns. They were the following:

  1. Due to having one baby, this child will be HUGE and be horrible to have.
  2. Since I thought that this child might be enormous I would need a C-Section.
  3. The baby would not be head down and cause issues.
  4. I knew that the baby was due on the 7th of January and had no idea that he would come exactly on his due date. I did have thoughts that I might have a New Year’s Day baby and be on the front page of the local paper.

 

“Local woman gives birth to the biggest baby on New Years’ Day 2016”.

 As you can see I still was panicked about having a HUGE BABY!

Scans did show that my third child was indeed on the small side. This however did not relieve my very active imagination and concern.

I was fully aware that this was only one baby this time. This baby could spread themselves to every corner of my insides and be a record weight. I know… I was so fixated on the baby being too big.

I did have my reasons to be freaked out about the birth.  The first birth (with the twins) was not fabulous and mind you birth is not pleasant on any level.

The midwifes at the local hospital kept on insisting due to age that certain things would happen and that it might be classified as a high-risk pregnancy. Oh, how silly I thought.

I have already had a high-risk pregnancy with twins and all was well. I do understand things can change but why freak out the mum to be with what ifs. I ended up having a very healthy pregnancy and all was well with our third little person.

If help or intervention was needed to save the baby or myself I would have not stood in their way, however if it is not needed and all is well, then I say let nature decide when the baby comes and don’t intervene.

Maybe the hospital helped with my visions of horrible things happening while pregnant? I think they contributed in a small way. Wanting me to be induced for no actual reason, saying that I will develop gestational diabetes due to age I’m sure was not helpful. For the record, I had my third child naturally on his estimated due date and was lucky not to get gestational diabetes.

 

All my concerns were unfounded.

My baby was tiny compared to what my brain thought it would be.

This is what happened. I had a normal to smaller sized baby that was very healthy. Lucky nothing went wrong and all my fears were unfounded.
This is what happened. I had a normal to smaller sized baby that was very healthy. Lucky nothing went wrong and all my fears were unfounded.

All the scans kept on saying how small it was going to be, however, I could not tell myself that this would be the case. I was freaking myself out.

It also could have been the fact that my second pregnancy with Alexander lasted longer than my first. The twins were born at 34 weeks and 2 days. Alexander came exactly at the 40-week mark. This meant more time to grow. More time for anything else to happen… I did not know but I knew that anything past 34 weeks was overdue for me.

 

Did you do this?

Are you currently pregnant and freaking yourself out?

What is the weirdest thought or dream that you have had while pregnant?

I just want to say that all the things that you are thinking could happen will most likely not happen so just relax and enjoy the day. Enjoy the time being pregnant if you can, and if you are able take a nap. You might be too busy soon to rest so get in now. Although this might be hard if you are working or have other children.

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Family

Bonding with Baby

How long did it take you to bond with your baby?

Do you think it was an instantaneous thing? Well for some that happens, but for others it can take a while.

According to a national survey that interviewed 500 women, “seven out of ten mums think they are going to bond at birth with their bubs, but more than half find it takes much longer than that.

Pinky McKay a Lactation consultant has said, ‘baby bonding was “a bit like falling in love” Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it takes ages for the magic to develop. “(Herald Sun, July 24, 2016)

The national survey was commissioned by WOTBaby which is an app that acts like a midwife in your pocket. It is a good tool for parents to consult and it goes up to six months of age.

The WOTBaby app was developed by Jen Hamilton who is a mothercraft nurse.

“In my experience, I generally find on average, mums truly bond with their child at four to five months,” Ms Hamilton said. (Herald Sun, July 24, 2016)

If you are not one of the mums that had the instant bonding moment then you might feel like it is a problem with you. Well you are fine! Trust me. Being pregnant, labor, birth, and now suddenly you have a new little person to care for. It is a BIG SHOCK to the system, and more so if you have twins or more.

The girls love their baby brother.
The girls love their baby brother.

 

Depending on what happened during the birth and afterwards you could have very different reactions to your little bundle of joy.

Here are some things that could delay or not help with bonding:

  • New mum and overwhelmed. Tired or actually more like exhausted. (I was like the walking dead when I first had the twins. Up all the time to feed, change nappies and to also express breast milk. It was a big blur of feeling like I had no sleep)
  • Problems breast feeding. If your baby does not take to it or if you have difficulties it cannot help with the bonding process. (I had to express both times with the twins and now my little boy. We did try breast feeds but it did not work out well for us)
  • Getting Mastitis/ill. I got very ill with mastitis after having Alexander and ended up in hospital for about 3-4 days. I needed antibiotics intravenously and it was not fun. I had the baby with me but it was tough.
  • Premature babies/baby. In my case the twins were born 6 weeks early so they were taken to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) It was hard to bond with babies that were not with me all the time and the fact that they were confined to a humicrib made things difficult.
  • Still recovering from the birth. Depending on what type of birth you had you might still need to rest. This can make caring for a new baby more difficult and can impact on bonding.
  • Support network. Having a good support network is ideal. I know it is hard with everyone being so busy these days, plus living further and further away from each other. If your partner can allow you to have some down time, this can help you to recharge your batteries. It might be harder if you have older children and now a newborn. If people offer help accept it! Don’t put pressure on yourself. Everyone is not perfect. Although you look outside at others and they might appear to have it all together I’m sure they are worrying or annoyed about something. Things take time. Unreal expectations is not healthy and we have all done this, judging ourselves by what we think we should be like or doing. I say take your time. Do your thing and just keep going. You will learn the cues of your little baby, you will figure out what the grunts and gurgles mean. In time you will feel more confident about everything. Learning a new person takes time.

I took a while to bond with my darling twins. I loved them to bits but due to them being in the NICU, being super tired, first time mum, recovering from a very long birth (over 30 hours) as you can imagine things were hectic and I was just doing what I thought I was supposed to do.

After I had the twins the nurses at the NICU were ringing my room to ask me for breast milk. As I just had them and these were my first children the breast milk had not come in yet. Great more pressure. One baby was okay on formula until I got my breastmilk but the other little girl was on strike. She hated the formula and was listed as nil by mouth! Oh gosh….. More phone calls to my room asking for breast milk. More visits by nurses trying to play with my boobs to help me get breast milk and all while I struggled to keep my eyes open.

Since I was in a room on my own and the twins were in the NICU I was told to have pictures of them to help me with the breast milk situation. I did think at times it was all a dream. Did I have kids? Oh yes, I’m in a hospital. Yes I did. Where are they??? Oh that’s right they are in intensive care. It was a very surreal moment and one that I did not feel I could discuss with anyone else. I felt that I would be judged.

Mummy and the girls on the 27th of Sept, 2008. Katoomba Hosp. Julia on left, Lillian on right.
Mummy and the girls on the 27th of Sept, 2008. Katoomba Hosp. Julia on left, Lillian on right.

So as you can see my first experience was unique due to having twins as my first children. Now looking back to the birth with our little boy in January this year it was completely different. The birth and care was so much nicer and calmer… maybe that was due to one baby this time or the fact that he was born on his due date? Maybe it was also due to not having a full room of student doctors, nurses, and two doctors for each baby, extra support people and two humidicribs for the twins. Having one baby that was on time meant that I had one midwife, one nurse, hubby and me in the delivery room. It was so nice to not have a full gallery of people there.

Due to having one baby this time, also being a good weight and being born on his due date he was put on me after birth. This was a nice experience as it did not happen when the twins were born. It allowed me to have some time cuddling our new little person and to help bond.

I did find that due to some issues with our little boy not latching on the breast properly, and having silent reflux, being fussy about things it made the first three months rather difficult. He screamed the place down due to having air in his belly and it was hard to remove! I think with age he got better and therefore after about three months he was much calmer, and this made feeding and the bedtime routine easier.

Alexander and I on the day he was born. It was nice to have the first cuddles. Look at all that hair!
Alexander and I on the day he was born. It was nice to have the first cuddles. Look at all that hair!

Another concern was how the twins would bond with the baby. We did not know if it was a boy/girl, although Julia wanted the baby to be a girl. She wanted to be the three sisters and have a picture taken at the Three Sisters at Katoomba. As you know we had a boy and the twins are so in love with their little baby brother. They help out and dote on him all the time, he is going to be a very spoilt little boy. My worries were for nothing. Did you do this when you had the second or third child? Stress about how the other kids would go with the new baby?

Our family is complete with our little baby boy and our twin girls. We love our kids to bits, and would not change anything. It took a while to get into the swing of things and that helped us learn everything about our three cheeky monkeys.

3 tips to remember!

  1. Bonding is a personal experience. Don’t measure or judge yourself on what others are doing.
  2. Don’t put pressure on yourself if bonding with baby is not instant. It can take up to six months or maybe more.
  3. Don’t confuse not bonding with not loving your baby. You’re a mum, of course, you love your baby and the bonding will happen, so just relax and it will happen when it happens.

If you are experiencing postnatal depression/postnatal anxiety or having issues bonding with their baby contact PANDA on 1300 726 306. The hotline is open from 10am to 5pm.

 

Due to the launch of WOTbaby the topic of bonding with babies has been in the media. I was on Today Extra with Jen Hamilton discussing the issue.

I was also featured in an article by Smooth FM called, “When you don’t bond with your baby instantly”.

Let us know how you went with your first or second or third babies? Was it the same or different? How did you go?

Categories
Family

Dangers of Early Morning TV

Watching early morning infomercials is dangerous.  Due to being up at odd hours with the baby I ended up having the television stuck on a channel with non stop infomercials.

Since he was screaming his head off I immediately put bottle in mouth and then realised that the telly was stuck on a channel I did not want.

I could not fix it.

I ended up watching two long commercials.

I thought how silly it was that I was watching this type of television while feeding the baby.

What has the world come to? A housewife, feeding the baby and now watching infomercials. Yes I have succumbed.

I thought I was winning and doubted the stories and information. I did tried to not be swayed by the propaganda.

However…… I was turned and suddenly started to think that these two products were okay and maybe we could seriously use them in our house. Oh NO! What was happening? Geez early morning telly is dangerous. I’m glad that I was too sleepy and of course I was out of reach of a credit card.

My new mop..... I wonder if it will work like the one I saw on the infomercial?
My new mop….. I wonder if it will work like the one I saw on the infomercial?

The sales job had even worked  in the early morning hours all between cuddles, burps and spitting up from a baby and not me…. Yes I know you might wonder after this sudden announcement that I have been swayed after just watching two commercials in the early morning hours.

You might wonder what products that I thought were so amazing. Below are the two products that wowed me:

  • One was this brilliant mop that has a swivel head and the head of the mop can detach to be cleaned in the washing machine. Just brilliant I thought. No need to buy replacements you need to just wash it. Also some areas are hard to reach with the mop that we currently have and if the head or parts move around then it would work so much better. The mop also had a spinner thingy bob in the bucket that allows you to spin out the yucky water and magically be left with clean water for your next go at mopping the floor.
  • The other product was the painter rollers. The roller actually has the paint in it so every time you roll the paint on the wall or whatever you are painting you don’t need to keep on topping it up. It works well and the paint lasts for a while, well the infomercial told me it did. I know you have to add paint to the body of the paint roller but it looked like a brilliant idea.

Watching this type of telly is very bad when you are sleep deprived and also cannot change the channel. I could not stop thinking about the mop and thought it would be a good thing to have. While I was shopping for something completely different at BigW I saw the same type of mop for sale. I’m sure it was called something different on the infomercial and was more expensive but could be wrong. It was early morning and I have found that I have not remembered much other than the baby is fed and going back to bed (I do love my sleep).

Since I saw this great product for sale I had to give it a go. I have meant to use it but due to the baby being up and down all week, I have not had a chance. I plan to do it this week. Take the new mop out of the box and see if it is indeed the bees knees of mops.

Have you been sucked into infomercials and thought what they were selling looked fabulous? Please let me know I’m not the only one.

 

Categories
News

Maternity Leave Perks?

Picture this. I am up at 3am or so. I’m feeding my baby boy.

While I do this I like to have the television on with the volume on low to maybe muted so that I can have some light in a very darken room, plus it does help while I get the baby back to bed as this can sometimes take hours.

You can imagine my shock when I saw a story on Good Morning America about a woman called, “Meghann Foye” and her book about “meternity leave”

Meghann wants all the perks of maternity leave but without having any kids!

I had not heard of this person and also about her idea of meternity leave…. I have obviously been having too much fun on my magical holiday with my new born baby.  

Mummy cuddling her baby.
Mummy cuddling her baby.

One point Meghann made was that parents left work on time to go home to their kids. Well she can do this too. Meghann can make a point of leaving on time to go home or to meet with mates after work. She does not have to have kids to do this.

I know that putting in extra hours at the office shows that you are keen and want to do more. However this can also not be helpful to you as you will be stressed out and might burn out due to the extra hours. Maybe the extra hours are the issue… if Meghann left on time she might not want meternity leave?

I was so intrigued and amazed I increased the volume on the television but was very conscious this might delay getting the baby back to sleep. I had to learn more about this weird idea.

Well I have a nasty shock for you Meghann, maternity leave is not an exotic holiday.

It is not a time that you can just do whatever you want, although it would be nice. You are caring for a new little person that relies on you for everything.

The reality is that you are on call 24 hours a day and also 7 days a week. No sick leave, no pay, and no help really. It is just you.

When you bring home your bundle of joy you are most likely still exhausted from childbirth, you are sore and just feeling like shit actually. Although you feel horrible you still love the fact that you had the baby and think it is amazing and also a fabulous experience.

However all the lovely fuzzy feel good stuff cannot erase the whole thought and feeling that you would really like to be left alone and have a HUGE SLEEP ALL ALONE!  This to date has not happened yet….I’m still waiting. Maybe I need some meternity leave now to have some time for me. This way I will get this long anticipated and wanted sleep.

I am not sure what Meghann means by perks of maternity leave?

Is it getting up at all hours to feed a baby?

Is it being extremely sleep deprived that you mix up dates and times. In reality you are really like a zombie…. I’m sure you know what I mean.

Maybe getting thrown up on when the kids are sick? I have had this times two.

Oh….. Wait maybe it is the fact that as the mother you are now the primary caregiver and you cannot get anything done without a little person or people following you around.

I do think it is wonderful that I have had three lovely little people and I feel blessed that we could do that. I also do understand that some women don’t want kids and that is fine too.

However to make out that maternity leave is like a glamourous vacation is just not so. How about you try and spend a day or even a week with me and that idea will be crushed in seconds.

  • Housework
  • Never getting to finish tasks
  • Being constantly interrupted
  • Cleaning
  • Washing and sorting clothes
  • Getting kids to school
  • Caring, feeding and all things baby. I do love my cuddles with our new little person and of course his lovely giggles and smiles.
  • Dropping kids and picking kids up from school
  • Taking kids to after school activities all with the baby…. Yes waking him up for everything is annoying but I have no choice
  • Getting the kids to do their reading, homework and other things for school. Now this is such a drama as they really don’t want to do this. I try and do this all while trying to settle and get a baby to bed, while the older two are having arguments and being loud and annoying

Do you think it sounds like there are fabulous perks yet? The only perk that I can come up with is that I have three little people that make me feel great when sometimes I don’t. They love me and I love them to bits.

I agree that everyone needs me time.

Everyone needs to be able to recharge their battery so to speak. Some downtime, a chance to chill and to refocus and maybe get the creative juices flowing again.

I don’t think that asking for time out to help with study, work or just to have a break is a bad thing. However trying to say that maternity leave is a perk is just wrong.

One place I worked for factored in some time to just be creative in the workday. This creative time allowed the staff member to explore other areas of interest, maybe learn something that would help them in their role or allow them to work on a pet project.

Me time is something that everyone should get. It is hard though when you take care of young children. It also might be hard if you are the carer of a family member. Time out is good for everyone, and also allows you to be a better mummy or carer since you had some time out. Not being able to do something for you and not having the time to do it can get very frustrating.

What do you think of Meghann Foye’s idea of meternity leave?  Do you agree that it should be a thing? I personally think that you can have this option it is just called holidays or say study leave. Or maybe it is called something else at your workplace.

I personally think that if you don’t have kids or other pressures you can have as much me time as you want.  I do understand people have to work and other commitments, but once you have done that, you can have your time.

Also if you figure out any other perks of maternity leave please send them my way!

 

Categories
Family

Finally Some Alone Time

Yesterday was a good day. I had an appointment at the hairdressers to tidy up my hair and to also to give it a big lift….yes I had a nice colour put through it.

Waiting to get my hair done.... how nice to have some me time. Also I think my hair thanked me for the love and attention it got.
Waiting to get my hair done…. how nice to have some me time. Also I think my hair thanked me for the love and attention it got.

The pampering, silence and no kids was much needed. Some alone time was lovely. I sat with a peppermint tea in hand and reading a trashy mag while I waited for my stylist to arrive. I left the house thinking I might be running late for my appointment but to my surprise I was 15 mins early.

How amazing to be early somewhere. Having three kids and getting everyone ready to leave the house is a chore unto itself.

So I relaxed with the knowledge that I can just be and wait without the constant chorus of “mummy, mummy, mamma!!!!!!”

The stylist arrived and apologised as I was waiting and he did not know I was there. I said that is no big deal and I was in fact early so there was plenty of time. He was lovely and listened to what I wanted and worked his magic to make my hair look and feel wonderful. We swapped stories of babies and life and just had a great time while my hair got some much needed TLC. It was a lovely start to my afternoon.

I explained to the hairdresser that ever since my third child was born I have been losing handfuls of hair in the shower and also in the hairbrush. I have read that this is normal and happens due to hormones and the fact that you don’t lose hair during pregnancy but afterwards it seems like I am losing heaps. It has made me get very worried but since googling “hair loss and having a baby” I have found the following:

After I left the hairdressers I walked around very slowly, I took in all the coming and goings that I usually miss out on as I am racing around with kids normally. I loved the fact that I could go into shops and not have to be stressed out about kids touching things or the possibility of them breaking something very expensive. I was able to go into areas that are generally off limits to prams and to spend as much or as little time as I liked in each place. It was rather luxurious to do this (It does not sound like much but it was heaven).

My fab new do. Not much different from my old do but it is feeling nicer, the colour makes it look more healthy and the stylist worked with my natural curls.
My fab new do. Not much different from my old do but it is feeling nicer, the colour makes it look more healthy and the stylist worked with my natural curls.

Ever since I had Alexander my body has been out of sorts… I think I need to be realigned and have daily or weekly massages. My pelvis, hip and shoulder feels very sore. I do think that maybe my rib and also pelvis might be out of place as it is very painful to lie down and I never seem to feel good, every part of me feels like it is in constant pain. Not good I know. Has this happened to you after you had your baby? What did you do to feel better?

I have been seeing my chiropractor and he has helped a bit but the pain and issue is still there. I was thinking maybe a deep tissue massage might help me out.

So after my lovely relaxing time at the hairdressers and the shops I took myself off for a Deep Tissue Thai Massage.

Yes…… it was amazing and different. I have never had a true Thai Massage before, the lovely lady used her body to help get my kinks and to stretch my body out.

It was a brilliant experience and I will definitely be going back. I was twisted and manipulated and it has made parts of my back and body move more easily, however it also made me think that everywhere this masseuse touched me was so sore. It made me think how out my body really was.

The masseuse suggested that I come back soon as my back needs to more help to feel better. I will have to book a massage for the next weekend so that I can start to feel better. Next weekend I need to book my time again so that I can help my poor back and body.

I did have a lovely fantasy while I had my massage. I was a princess getting her daily or weekly massage. Yep I don’t muck around with my daydreams. In my fantasy I was in a fab room that was all decked out with detailed fabric, furniture and no expense was spared. I hope I’m not the only one that has weird thoughts while having a massage. Let me know if you do this too.

Have you found that a Deep Tissue Thai Massage helped you feel better? Also have you managed to sneak in some me time after kids? Let us know.

 

Categories
Family

Knee Beards and Other Stuff

You might be questioning my title. Knee Beards??? What the? You say.

Yes knee beards are a thing (You heard the term here first….I feel like now I should copyright it) and it got to a very hairy problem months after Alexander was born. I was still sporting some knee beards. Although I must say my legs are very nice (So I have been told) but having knee beards does not make them look very attractive.

If you don’t know what a knee beard is it is all the hair that grows around your knee region, if you don’t shave for a while it grows longer and maybe with pregnancy hormones this makes things even more longer and weird. Okay, you get the picture now.

A dramatic recreation of the knee beard. Yes it might be a little worse than it actually was but it felt like it looked this bad.
A dramatic recreation of the knee beard. Yes it might be a little worse than it actually was but it felt like it looked this bad.

I finally took matters into my own hands and removed my knee beards but it took me two months of living with them to finally remove them. Why did it take me so long? Well as a new mum to a new baby, finding time for self care is hard. This is even harder when you have other children to care for as well. I cannot just swan in and have a bath and shave my legs. Nope. Sitting or lying in a bath to relax is difficult to impossible. My twins will then want to join me and therefore ruining the peaceful and relaxing state that I was attempting to create.

It was not just knee beards that needed my attention. Some of the other things that normally get waxed have been forgotten about or just left as it is in the too hard basket. My aim is to book time at the beauticians on a weekend this way hubby can mind kids and I can get some things done. After I have had some much needed beauty therapy I can then tackle the pool again in the aim to tone up and lose some of the baby weight.

My hair also needs some attention. I have noticed that it is rather dry and rough on the ends. This is probably not helping the fact that I am loosing hair when I brush or even when I shower. Yes hand fulls are coming out. Maybe this is due to hormones after having a baby? I hope so as I’m getting worried that I might soon be bald.  So basically knee beards are the least of my worries really.

My out of control hair. Desperate to go to the hairdressers.
My out of control hair. Desperate to go to the hairdressers.

I think that I just need to have my hair cut and tidied, and I know it might not be good but a nice colour to jazz up my look might be in order. It would make me feel good and also much more glamorous. As a stay at home mum to three kids now feeling more glam is always a good thing.

Do you get time for a little bit of self care? A mani, or pedi?

Maybe a trip to the pool or the gym? Have you been to the hairdressers lately?

I am so keen to get my hair done I have thought about doing it with the baby with me. However I have stopped myself, I don’t want to be dealing with a crying baby while trying to relax.

This time will just be for me. My time to do something for myself.

Let us know how you fit it all in with everyone’s busy schedules.

Categories
Birth

Birth of Number 3

As per my previous post called, “Our latest Family Member”, we had to go to Nepean to have our third child. I did not want to go there due to what happened with the birth of the twins. However we had no choice.

Having birthday cuddles with our latest addition
Having birthday cuddles with our latest addition

We were finally at the hospital and due to the stress of the situation hubby parked in the car park. Yes I thought he would drop me off at emergency and go and park the car later. I asked why he did this at the time and he said, “Well, we are going to be here for a while”. Yes true but for someone that is finding it hard to walk due to constant contractions walking across a carpark to emergency to then be told to go to another building was not ideal to say the least!

Once parked hubby told me to get out of the car when I was ready. He had to wait a bit due to a contraction happening just as he opened the door. My legs were like jelly and I found it really hard to move due to the contractions making all my legs, pelvis and back go into spasms and just freeze. It was very painful, and I had to wait until they were over. So if you can imagine me walking then having to stop in the middle of the carpark every 5mins that would give you a picture of what it was like. Maybe a wheelchair from emergency might have been the way to go! This was arranged when I had the twins…. Although I think the race to get to the hospital freaked hubby out and he just lost it with the idea of a wheelchair and just wanted to get us to the hospital.

Once we figured out where we were supposed to be (the birthing suites or rooms) the nurses/midwives knew who we were due to Katoomba Hospital ringing ahead, which saved a lot of fussing about explaining everything.

I was then asked, “Would I like some pain relief?”

My response was YES! OF COURSE I WANT DRUGS TO HELP ME

Someone then said what would I like, and I then said, what do you have????

Yes open to everything and all if it helps make the pain go away!

I was offered morphine (I was told that I needed to use the gas to get the morphine injection. I found it interesting that I was having gas to therefore get another drug. The nurse said the injection can hurt a bit, and she was right. I think someone I mentioned this too said that it is injected into the muscle and that would explain why the nurse wanted me to be on gas to have the injection. I thought it was strange, but it did help a bit) and once that worked it helped a great deal. It certainly took the edge off the pain for a bit. Hubby said that once it started working I looked very out of it. I did not care! Bring on the medicine to make it not hurt as much. I am not a fan of natural birthing that you will feel it all. Even on drugs to take the edge off it hurt, so I can only imagine how horrible it would have been without them.

During this phase of the night I was telling hubby that I did not want to do it anymore, that I just wanted to go home and not be here. I don’t want to do it. Please can we go home I said? He just looked at me and said, “It is a little late for that” I know it was but I was scared and did not want to do what I knew was coming.

Why can’t the husband or partner do the subsequent child? I have visions of saying it is your turn. I then can hold his hand while he pushes out our child. Science has given us so much and maybe it can work on this. I know that men having kids will probably never happen but why can’t the baby come out small via your belly button and grow on the outside. Maybe a good idea???? (Maybe a futuristic idea) Not sure but might save all the bother of pushing a baby out of your bits…. Let me know your thoughts.

While I was still under the trippy and nice effects of morphine they prepped me for an epidural. Although before this happened I explained my fear of having it again and not working. When having the twins I had one and felt everything but could not move my legs. I was constantly asked by the doctors, nurses and midwives with the twin birth to move my legs but could not. I told them if they wanted them moved they would have to do it. Annoying that they never listened. I was hoping that this birth would be different.

I did not know what to do. I did want the epidural but did not want a repeat of what happened last time. I know that there can be no guarantees but I thought I would give it another go and hope for the best.

The anaesthesiologist listened to my fears and what happened last time as did the midwife. I then decided without a doubt to see if it will be different this time. I was told all the horrible things that could go wrong and the chances of it happening. I was completely freaked out. I still thought it was the way to go.

I had it done and the epidural started working. It was so good that I managed to fall asleep. Yes I slept while still having contractions. Who knew that this was possible? This epidural was completely different from the twin birth, I could not feel anything, I was blissfully unaware of anything for a long time, well until it started to wear off and the baby was pressing on my hip bone and pelvis and I could not get comfortable. I asked for more drugs… however they said that I could not have more and it was time to get the baby out.

The midwife told me that due to the morphine and the position of the baby that its heart rate was dropping and I needed to get it out as soon as I could. I said that I would do my best. She mentioned that we still had time and that it was not in distress yet, but if it went on any longer it could be and then they would want to make an executive decision on how they vacate the baby from my belly. Gosh, NO!

I did not want to have a C-section or have any unnecessary things happen unless it was life threatening, and I do understand if the baby is under distress but I was so close to having it happen naturally.

I tried to push while lying on the bed and sitting up a bit, but it was no good. I could not get comfortable and it was terribly painful due to the baby’s head on my hip and pelvic bone…. Very sore indeed!

It was suggested that I be on my side with a leg up in the air and to help reposition the baby… it did not help with repositioning but it was more comfortable to push from this weird acrobatic position. Not the way I was thinking it would happen and definitely not glam but childbirth is not a glam affair.

I was told to put my chin to my chest, hold my breath while having a leg up in the air all on my side. Yes a strange visual!  I then had to hold my breath while working with the contraction and these contractions this time I felt over my belly and also to in my back but now I understand what contractions actually feel like. I found it hard to do all this while holding my breath. I had a terrible time as holding my breath made me want to pass out and I could not let out a sound or a grunt due to losing the momentum to push (energy or something with the breath). The midwife wanted me to do it in lots of threes so that we could get the baby out. Oh god, I found it hard just doing one!

After holding my breath I found that I wanted to throw up and they were concerned and I had a sick bag just in case. It did not happen but I felt nauseous and also had a bit of reflux during the whole process of holding my breath to try and get baby out.

During all of this a doctor came in to see how progress was going. I think the midwife wanted the doctor to check in to make sure that we had a backup plan if baby went into distress and needed help to come out. GOSH, now the doctor was talking about forceps and other things…. I hated the salad servers last time and due to the epidural not working I felt everything…. It was like I was being killed. I did not want that ever again.

The doctor left and then the midwife and nurse were talking about cutting me. WHAT THE???? YOU ARE GOING TO DO WHAT NOW?

They said that it would help the baby come out. I said no PLEASE DON’T CUT ME. I ended up negotiating them to give me more time to get the baby out.

I did not want them to cut me. No please no!

They were very keen to give me an episiotomy but I had no idea that is what they were wanting to do. I just did not want to be hurt even more if not needed.

I was so determined to get this baby out now! Hubby said you need to get the baby out. I got angry and just pushed and pushed and pushed. I was nearly passing out due to holding my breath and my acrobatic poses but I was on a mission.

The midwife yelled, wow we see a head full of black hair! Oh gosh, really this baby is going to have darker hair? I thought it would be like the girls and be bald and blonde, but you never know right. We still did not know if it was a boy/girl that was still a surprise. I however knew once I got told the hair colour that it was a boy, I just had a feeling. Strange but true. Hubby said that it could be a girl, but I just had an inkly at this stage that it was a boy.

I kept on pushing and then baby was out and here in the world. The midwife and nurse said that they should have threatened me with the doctor and episiotomy hours ago.

Alexander and I on his birthday
Alexander and I on his birthday

I was lucky that all went well, I could do it all naturally and that I did not get cut! Yes very lucky indeed. Maybe getting angry was the magic ingredient.

In comparison to the twin birth it was much nicer. We only had the midwife a nurse and hubby and myself in the room. With the twin birth we had 2 doctors for each baby, a humidicrib for the baby and about 30 or so trainee doctors it felt. The room was packed and it was crowded. I did not have any stupid things that happened before happen this time. When was about 5cm dilated and in the birthing suite waiting to have the twins I had two doctors come in to tell me it would be great if I could wait till I was 36-38 weeks….talk about stupid! I also had nurses try to give me medicine I did not need after I had the babies and the list continues. This did not happen with the birth of our third child.

I was very upset to not be able to have our last child at Katoomba Hospital but was grateful that the experience was better and nicer than the last. I must say that pushing a person out of you is hard and tough, but the ladies that helped us for the birth of our son made it a more calmer process. So thanks so much to you all. One thing that was a bit weird was that the midwives that helped me had the same names that I had. The night before the baby was born the midwife on duty had the same first name, then there was shift change and the next midwife had my middle name. It was like I was meant to be there. Odd indeed.

What was the birth like for your second or third children? Did the process and what happened differ from your first child?

Was it more of a calmer experience with the second or third child compared to your first? Let us know.

 

Categories
Birth

Our latest Family Member

Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I have been very busy dealing with our latest addition.

Our third child was born on the 7th of January, exactly on his due date. Yes how prompt is he. We had a little boy and his name is Alexander. The twins are super excited to be big sisters and to give him cuddles and help out.

Our latest family member Alexander was born exactly on his due date. How clever is he! Only 5% of babies do this. Maybe he will be a prompt person? You never know right?
Our latest family member Alexander was born exactly on his due date. How clever is he! Only 5% of babies do this. Maybe he will be a prompt person? You never know right?

Ever since I had my third child I have had no time. Yes you can probably relate if you have just had a baby. Up all night feeding, expressing breast milk and just trying to settle the baby. The house is a total mess, laundry  needs sorting, folding and to be put away. Things need to be tidied, chucked out or just put away. The essentials are happening, we are clean, have food and all is well, although life is a bit of a mess at the moment while we adjust to another person and trying to get into a routine. This is especially true due to having two kids who are full of beans that don’t seem to remember not to run, jump and bounce everywhere. It is not helpful once you have finally got the baby to sleep. Plus school drop offs and pick ups and also after school activities makes it harder to keep a routine. I have just planned to have food for Alexander, change of clothes, nappies and be ready if he needs anything while we are out.

This is my little boy. It was taken exactly when he was 5 weeks old. He looks very grown up here and also to a bit cheeky. I love the fact that you can see what he might look like when he grows up but also to that he such a cute little baby, well if I do say so myself. I am bias, I'm his mummy so I am allowed to be.
This is my little boy. It was taken exactly when he was 5 weeks old. He looks very grown up here and also to a bit cheeky. I love the fact that you can see what he might look like when he grows up but also to that he such a cute little baby, well if I do say so myself. I am bias, I’m his mummy so I am allowed to be.

Our latest addition is hard to settle after a feed. He did not latch on well to the breast. I did try breast feeding but he screamed the place down that he had not gotten enough milk. I thought all was good as he was asleep after these feeds and then attempted to put him to bed. Once tucked into bed he screamed the place down. He gave all the signs that he did not get enough and was indeed still hungry. Oh how could you be hungry???? You have just had some from each boob and now you are claiming you did not get enough! Oh well. I did more and more and that did not fix the issue.

Breast feeding was terribly painful and I thought it would get easier. The midwives said it was normal to have a bit of discomfort and you will get used to it. They came and saw how the baby was latching on and to see how I was dealing with the feeds. I did everything they said but due to the baby being fussy and getting into such a state he was angry and then very unsettled for feeding (It was like the baby was angry that the café or restaurant did not have his food ready at the time he requested. Terribly annoying when you have such bad service!) This is not the time to try and be putting him on the boob. I then got annoyed, angry and stressed and this was the same for the child. Not ideal.

I then came to the conclusion that I should just express my breast milk and feed the baby like I did with the twins. Our new little person seems much happier getting more milk in the bottle. He is still getting breastmilk and I am less stressed about feeding and he gets it when he needs it.

Expressing my breast milk while in hospital.
Expressing my breast milk while in hospital.

However due to him not latching on properly he hurt my nipples and this in turn made me get ill with mastitis. I left hospital to only be back one night and that one night I was up all night dealing with the baby. He feeds well when it is in the bottle but sucks in too much air and therefore holds a lot of wind. Trying to burp and wind a baby is tough when it goes on for over 4 hours!

Yes, it is stressful and exhausting. Then once you hit the 4 hour mark or less you are due for his next feed and you have to do it all over again. Plus add changing nappies for a child that screams like you are killing him while you try and get rid of the pooey nappy.

I have tried to write this post for days now and today he has been all over the place and very unsettled, so I have been adding to my post in stops and starts all day. He seems to like cuddles and wants to be with you. This is nice but when you have a house to look after, other kids and things to do it gets difficult. Maybe when he finally sleeps I can sleep too or get something else done. Lately I have been more focused on sleeping, hence why other things like house and blog have been unloved for a while.

As mentioned I was only home for a short time and that time I was hot and bothered with a fever, I also got extremely cold and had the worst headache I’ve ever had (I could not handle light and found it hard to see). I had temperatures that were 38.9 and an hour after having Panadol it came down to 39.6. So not much of an improvement. I felt terrible; very ill and like I had an extreme case of the flu or more like the walking dead. I called the hospital and they suggested I come in to be looked at. They agreed that I had mastitis and I ended up having antibiotics via an IV drip and stayed in hospital for another 3 days. Not fun, the IV antibiotics burnt when it went through my vein and made me have a very tender hand for the next week or so.

The cannula for the IV. I always hate having them done. Very painful.
The cannula for the IV. I always hate having them done. Very painful.

I did mention to the hospital before I left that I was burning up and was feeling all hot. I was told it was my hormones and that it will all settle down soon. It was obviously the infection starting and it just got worse when I came home. One of the midwives at the hospital said that I did the right thing by coming back to the hospital as she said it only gets worse if not treated.

I was convinced that I would have the baby earlier than it coming exactly on my due date, which in fact only 5% of babies do. So he is terribly clever to have done that. Maybe he heard the doctors say when he was meant to come, so thought he would adhere to that date. Maybe he might be a prompt person and always on time. I have no idea, but it is weird he came exactly when predicted.

I was so over being pregnant. I was approaching my due date and still no baby! Any week over 34 and 2 days for me was overdue; I had the twins at this time and any time after this felt like an eternity.

As I said, I was ready for the baby to come and was trying to coax it out. Here are some of the things I tried:

  • I was doing squats
  • I was having raspberry leaf tea
  • I went walking and tried to be more active
  • I ate chilli
  • I even had talks to the baby in my belly and was telling it that it needed to come soon as I was over it all. It of course did not listen.

As many women who are in the last trimester of their pregnancy you get to the point where you just want it to be all over and done with. I did not want to have the birth and was a bit worried about all that due to the drama from the twin birth and was concerned that it might be repeated.

My pregnant belly. Taken on 2nd of January 2016. Little did I know that just 5 days later the baby would be born.
My pregnant belly. Taken on 2nd of January 2016. Little did I know that just 5 days later the baby would be born.

I could not bend over. I was having pains and could feel things starting to move in the right direction but no labor had started. Damn! How annoying.

The hospital was doing their standard freak out as they were telling me that if I don’t have the baby by 39 weeks or I go over my due date they would like to induce me. What the????(The hospital said that if I go too far over my due date that could be high risk and they are not equipped for this, so if this happens then I would need to go to Nepean to have the baby) I have had an uncomplicated pregnancy. It is one child and not two like last time. I am not high risk, I did not develop gestational diabetes and have remained active throughout. I have even only gained 8kgs during the whole pregnancy so that was something that was good news for me. Although I felt like it was a lot more and I was HUGE.

I woke up at 4am on the 6th of January and noticed that things were happening. Yes 4am seems to be the lucky or weird hour that things happen. When I was pregnant with the twins my waters broke at 4am so this was strange that it all started again at this time. This was the day that the twins were going to vacation care and I had to get their lunches ready and all organised so that we could drop them off. I could not go back to bed and ended up having painful contractions that were extremely painful and I found it hard to walk and do anything. I checked the internet to see what needed to happen before I went to the hospital. The sites that I visited said that if I cannot walk and talk during contractions and if they are coming more frequently, if I lost my mucus plug, if I am in pain and not coping and so on. I thought this was all the case so phoned the hospital.

I spoke to a midwife who then said that it sounded like things were progressing and if all of the above had happened then it might be wise to come in and get looked at. She also mentioned some other things like breathing and something about pillows and my back and hubby helping. I was finding it hard to concentrate due to the pains that kept on coming and going.

Once hubby was we dropped the kids off at vacation care and then went straight to the hospital. This was just after 9am and they gave me a once over. The midwife we saw said that I was only 1 and half centimetres dilated and that I was not ready. Damn! Why can’t the baby be ready! All that pain to only be slightly ready…..very annoying.

13th of January, not even a week old.
13th of January, not even a week old.

While at the hospital the midwife told us that if we had the baby before a certain time we could come to Katoomba Hospital. If we had it after 7pm that evening then we would need to go to Nepean as Katoomba during this 24 hour period did not have a Doctor on call for the maternity ward and therefore could not have births there during this period. What the???? I go to a hospital for all my maternity care and now I cannot have the baby at the hospital of choice. Hubby and midwife suggested maybe mind power can help make the baby not come in this 24 hour period. I told both of them that I don’t think this would happen, as my body was doing things and feeling like it would be soon.

The midwife said that the way I was presenting that it will all kick off at 7pm and therefore would need to go to Nepean. I thought no way. But this lady sees a lot of women so maybe she knows what she is talking about. I thought we will see.

Hubby and I had plans to have lunch with some of our close friends so we went to the local pub all while having contractions. We went to the shops and although it was very slow going for me due to the fact contractions made me seize up and it was like all my legs, lower back and pelvis was in a muscle spasm. I could not move while it was happening, and during this I could feel the head banging to go further down…. YES painful!

7pm comes and we are reading stories to the kids and tucking them in for bedtime. My contractions were super painful and getting closer together and it was harder to talk and to do anything. They were 5-6mins apart at this stage.

I think the midwife jinxed us, as she predicted the time and the fact that it would all happen. Damn now we have to go down the mountain to Nepean due to the local hospital not being able to have us there. I called the hospital and this was a hard phone call due to being in pain with contractions coming and going. They said that we cannot come there, and that they would call ahead to Nepean and we needed to leave now due to the time it takes to get down the mountain and the times of my contractions. Oh great………a trip down the mountain in a car while I am screaming and in pain.

Hubby and I are in the car and screaming down the mountain due to impending birth (well I was definitely screaming). During our trip a P plate driver decides we are trying to race him and he revs up his car and tries to get in our way. A learner driver nearly crashed into our car, a truck nearly collected us and people did not get out of lanes so that we could get there more quickly. During the trip I of course was screaming and yelling due to the pain and the pressure was getting intense in my pelvis due to the baby pressing and pushing with even more gusto. I did not want to have the baby on the side of the road, or in the car. I was just hoping we would get to the hospital in time.

When you were pregnant did the hospital of your choice close at the time of labor or was not available for whatever reason? Did you have to race to go somewhere else when labor hit? Let us know.

 

Next posts: Birth of Number 3, Tongue Tie, Reflux or Just Fussy, and Bonding with Baby

 

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