singletons – Mummy To Twins Plus One

You might be questioning my title. Knee Beards??? What the? You say.

Yes knee beards are a thing (You heard the term here first….I feel like now I should copyright it) and it got to a very hairy problem months after Alexander was born. I was still sporting some knee beards. Although I must say my legs are very nice (So I have been told) but having knee beards does not make them look very attractive.

If you don’t know what a knee beard is it is all the hair that grows around your knee region, if you don’t shave for a while it grows longer and maybe with pregnancy hormones this makes things even more longer and weird. Okay, you get the picture now.

A dramatic recreation of the knee beard. Yes it might be a little worse than it actually was but it felt like it looked this bad.

I finally took matters into my own hands and removed my knee beards but it took me two months of living with them to finally remove them. Why did it take me so long? Well as a new mum to a new baby, finding time for self care is hard. This is even harder when you have other children to care for as well. I cannot just swan in and have a bath and shave my legs. Nope. Sitting or lying in a bath to relax is difficult to impossible. My twins will then want to join me and therefore ruining the peaceful and relaxing state that I was attempting to create.

It was not just knee beards that needed my attention. Some of the other things that normally get waxed have been forgotten about or just left as it is in the too hard basket. My aim is to book time at the beauticians on a weekend this way hubby can mind kids and I can get some things done. After I have had some much needed beauty therapy I can then tackle the pool again in the aim to tone up and lose some of the baby weight.

My hair also needs some attention. I have noticed that it is rather dry and rough on the ends. This is probably not helping the fact that I am loosing hair when I brush or even when I shower. Yes hand fulls are coming out. Maybe this is due to hormones after having a baby? I hope so as I’m getting worried that I might soon be bald. So basically knee beards are the least of my worries really.

My out of control hair. Desperate to go to the hairdressers.

I think that I just need to have my hair cut and tidied, and I know it might not be good but a nice colour to jazz up my look might be in order. It would make me feel good and also much more glamorous. As a stay at home mum to three kids now feeling more glam is always a good thing.

Do you get time for a little bit of self care? A mani, or pedi?

Maybe a trip to the pool or the gym? Have you been to the hairdressers lately?

I am so keen to get my hair done I have thought about doing it with the baby with me. However I have stopped myself, I don’t want to be dealing with a crying baby while trying to relax.

This time will just be for me. My time to do something for myself.

Let us know how you fit it all in with everyone’s busy schedules.

Did we use IVF? None of your beeswax

Many people assume if you have twins you must have had IVF. Worse still, total strangers think it is perfectly fine to ask you to confirm just how your children’s conception came about.

Friends who are “older” – including those without twins – complain about attracting the same curiosity from people they barely know.

And same sex couples (“who is the father/mother?”).

The answer oh curious stranger is, “none of your business!”

Cute little baby. Who cares how you were conceived you are wonderful and beautiful.

Perhaps when I receive such questions, I should respond in kind by asking the stranger if he/she had sex to have their child/ren? Maybe I could throw in some other up close and personal curly questions such as their medical history and maybe what they earn?

For the record, I never answer questions about how our girls were conceived.

The reasons are simple.

I don’t want to set up a “natural versus assisted conception” thing
It is not just my story to tell – it’s a story shared by my family
And It just doesn’t matter

Do you get asked if you used IVF? Would you feel okay asking a complete stranger if they had to have medical intervention to have their kids?

Why would I share such intimate details with a complete stranger? I don’t see any benefit in having this discussion.

Of course I would have to be living on another planet not to know couples that have used IVF due to one or both parents having an issue with fertility, or one parent having a congenital issue they don’t want to pass on or because they are a same sex couple in need of an egg or sperm. Or for whatever reason. There is certainly no shame in taking advantage of the wonders of medical science but it is damn personal stuff.

I sympathised with Nicole Kidman when she was forced to justify to millions of strangers all over the world her use of the term “gestational carrier”. Sure it sounded a little unusual but I think she was just saying, “hey this baby is my precious child and the technology involved is not the focus”.

It does not matter how you conceived your children as long as they are here, happy and nurtured. Whether the journey started with fours years of trying, one night of passion, or IVF, AI, GIFT or whatever is irrelevant.

It is no one’s business but yours. If you choose to tell family or friends that’s up to you. In my book, being asked by a stranger how you conceived your kids is just weird.

Have other parents of multiple birth children encountered such a question? Are we particular magnets for such inquiries or have single bub parents heard them too? Maybe the assumption is that all twins and triplets are IVF babies? Hey, prior to the first IVF bubs being born in 1978 people did have twins and triplets you know.

Has the frequent use of reproduction technology created a new social acceptance about quizzing people about how their much loved children came about?

Do you get asked if you used IVF? Would you feel okay asking a complete stranger if they had to have medical intervention to have their kids?

It is no one’s business but yours. If you choose to tell family or friends that’s up to you. In my book, being asked by a stranger how you conceived your kids is just weird.

Let us know your thoughts. Why not continue the discussion on our Facebook and Twitter pages.