Note: This is a post from Wednesday, July 20, 2016. This was when my third child was still a baby.
The baby was sleeping through the night on some days and others waking up at 4am and screaming the place down. I did not understand what had made a sound sleeping baby suddenly become so upset. I also could not figure out why he slept all night some days and the others he would wake. The twins were sleeping through the night after they were three months old.
I firstly thought that it could be his nappy. Solved and new one put on.
Secondly thought it could be that he was hungry. No he did not want food and would rather scream at me and also to fidget, turn over and over (he loves rolling over and likes to do this every chance he gets) on my lap and not get comfortable! Yes this was very annoying.
I tried the formula again and he would not have anything to do with it. OH geez more crying (especially in my ear and so loud that you cannot hear anything afterwards) and wiggling is going to happen now. I had to cuddle him until he passed out again and to make sure he was snoring before I could make the attempt of putting him in his cot.
Could it be bad dreams?????? Who knows and at this stage, I was trying to think of anything that could be waking up our baby.
My sleepy little boy. I finally figured out why he was waking up at 4am. It was really simple actually. Read on to find out.
Fast forward to after we came home from Vivid (June Long Weekend), it was a Sunday afternoon. We came home earlier than expected from the city due to one of the twins being ill. Hubby fed the baby at about 3pm and he fell into a deep sleep and then the baby was wrapped up and put in his bed. All good.
11pm came around on the same Sunday evening. Hubby and I were watching television and I said when did we feed the baby? He thought about it. It was around 3pm. Gosh I thought. The baby has been asleep for a long time. I told hubby that I think we need to check that all is okay with Alexander and that there was nothing wrong.
He cautioned me… He said, “If you wake him it is your problem to sort out”. I told him fine as I was getting worried due to the fact that he had been asleep so long.
I carefully opened his door and heard breathing and the baby turn over. All good. However, due to the fact that it was afternoon when the baby was put down for a nap his night light was not switched on. Normally we keep it on to help Alexander not get upset if it is too dark. The twins had a night light when they were babies and we noticed that when Alexander was little he wanted the reassurance of the light.
However this could be the reason that he was waking up at 4am and being so out of sorts. He must have been half asleep and then the light woke him fully. Without the night light when he wakes even a little, he rolls over and goes back to sleep.
How simple the answer was. Turn off the night light! Ever since coming back from Vivid we have left the babies night light off and suprise, he has slept through the night.
Yep genius here…. Turn off the light and the baby will sleep! You heard it here. Sounds really obvious doesn’t it. The light woke him up.
I told my nana this and she said, really it was just a light and all you needed to do was turn it off. I said yes and she laughed and laughed at me. Yes it sounds silly and so simple but when you are so used to your routine and thinking that it is needed you just do it. You don’t question it.
Have you found there was something so simple and obvious that has made the world of difference with your kids or baby? Was it as simple as turning off the night light? Let us know.
All the dry ingredientsI melted the butter and golden syrup in the microwave. The recipe wanted you to do it in a saucepan but I think you could do it either way.
Method
Mix the dry ingredients in a bowl, and melt the syrup and butter in a saucepan. Add the baking soda and water to the syrup mix.
Mix the wet and dry ingredients, adding water if necessary.
Separate and roll the mixture into small balls, and flatten them on oven trays.
Bake at 150°C (300°F) for about 20 minutes or until golden brown.
The finished biscuits are quite chewy and crisp, and have a long shelf-life.
Kids helped me make this batch. All ready to go in the oven.All cooked and ready to eat. They were very yummy! We did not have a huge dinner due to the ANZAC biscuit afternoon tea.
Did you make ANZAC Biscuits? Were they yummy? Did you make heaps? I have a huge box of them and I think they will be treats in lunches for weeks to come.
Let us know your thoughts. Why not continue the discussion on our Facebook and Twitter pages.
Today is officially the last day kids in New South Wales are learning from home. The twins watched their carefully crafted morning breakfast show that the teachers create every morning, however this time it had guest hosts – two students telling us what is on the agenda for work today and that it is the last day of being at home. All children go back to face to face learning full time starting next week on the 25th of May, 2020.(Putting the date in here for historical reference)
Kids homeschooling due to COVID-19
I’m grateful that our response to the virus has been good and we have low to no infections, so that is a good sign. With restrictions easing and schools opening we are very lucky, many schools in America are set to be closed for the rest of the yearand kids are going to be learning from home for the remainder of 2020.
Insert a HUGE Happy dance and ENORMOUS SQUEALS OF DELIGHT from every parent here.
Juggling work, kids, learning from home and keeping an active four-year-old entertained has been super difficult to impossible.
We’ve had arguments, fights, tears and just defiance to do any work. Work that has been completed seems to be more of the fun stuff; art, drawing and the creative components to worksheets. Some maths and other work has been finished but with a lot of arguments and mummy explaining for the billionth time that the work needs to be done. To achieve final completion for a lot of the work I had to sit with both children and help them out, this meant that I could not do what I needed to do and arguments for who I was helping and telling the other child they need to just wait.
Geez if I had $1 for every time I tell some to wait I would a wealthy woman.
Here are my thoughts of day 1 and we are now coming up to 2 months of being at home. I did think we would be still homeschooling for the rest of term 2 and come back face to face in term 3 so this is a good thing. I just hope that there are no outbreaks of coronavirus and everyone stays healthy.
The school still has restrictions, there will be no excursions or incursions, no volunteers, no visitors, no drinking at the bubblers, no assembles and kids told that they need to wash their hands and understand if they are sick not to come to school.
My wonderful girls doing their online learning at home – They are learning about tsunamis
Day 1 of schooling from home 24th March 2020
I’m doing our bit to keep us and the community safe.
It is only day 1 of having all 3 kids at home and to put it mildly it was horrible and more like a nightmare conspiracy against mummy.
Mainly the youngest has been horrible and is acting like he is tired still. He has been hitting out, having tantrums, crying and just being awful. I have spent the majority of my day dealing with arguments, incidents, making sure the little one stays away from the bigger kids to allow them to do their schoolwork and all the fallout.
I’ve been ready for a lie-down and a G and T from about 12 pm or earlier actually. I am keen to have a nice drink later and as I am writing this the kids are having a bath, then dinner and then bed – they are going to bed and there will be no arguments…bed is happening soon for all 3. Do you hear that they really, really need to go to bed!
This said, we have done some work on Mathletics, art, and drew a pagoda from scratch. I even added to the theme of Pagodas by watching some educational videos on YouTube. Now the kids want to make their own pagodas out of clay but one kid didn’t seal the bag of the clay and therefore our supply is rock hard.
The kids have had some outdoor time on the trampoline and helping their brother search for bugs and insects.
My little boy did do some drawing and art and practised writing his name. The rest of the day he has been collecting his cars, playing and making our day interesting. Yes, interesting is a nice way to say challenging and difficult.
I’m not sure that I can handle weeks or even months of this.
I do know that schools and daycare are still open but with work drying up for us, and limited funds having a kid in childcare wasn’t helping us financially. Plus with the fact that they said that if we could have kids at home we should, our stance was if the twins were home so should our youngest as well.
How are you all faring with being at home teaching the kids? I for one am feeling exhausted and over it already and it is only day 1.
Day 66 – The Final Day of Learning at Home!
Today is the 22nd of May 2020. It is now the last day of the twins learning from home.
It has been fraught with mixed emotions. We embraced the changes and did as we were instructed by the school to help the kids continue with their studies, however dealing with two strong-willed children who don’t want to do work is exhausting. Maybe they should have just gone back to school you say, well this was my thought after day 1 but we fought the urge. It was actually hubby that fought it, I could have easily dropped off the twins at school and been happy with that decision.
I was over it all as I seemed to be the only parent making sure they were working on tasks they should be, worried about assignments due. Hubby and the kids kept on telling me they had plenty of time and then the day before it was due the assignment was done in a rush…and were accompanied by screaming, yelling and attacks at me about “Why am I not helping them do their work!”
Geez!!! If you hadn’t left it to the last minute and done a bit a day it would be done and not rushed, I kept on saying!
The teachers went above and beyond to get online content ready in Google Classroom for all the kids. It was very well done and in a short space of time. I also thought it was very easy to navigate and to find what work you are working on and then submit it to the teachers. This ease of use seemed to be lost as the kids decided to not click on all the work that was assigned and do other tasks. I then ask them what are you working on to get told nothing or something that is not school work.
I have now taken to logging on as the twins to see what school work is due and has been assigned, I print out all needed worksheets, run through the tasks with both kids and get them to work on items that are due soon. I then check on them to make sure they are doing what they should be doing and if they need any help.
We are a little behind in some work but for my own sanity, I have concentrated on reading, writing, and maths as the main areas. We have worked on some other things that have been assigned, I am hoping that next week the teachers will assist my kids to catch up if they are indeed behind.
I know I will not miss the crazy that has become our normal due to homeschooling and having all kids at home, and not to mention trying to find some magical free hours that are uninterrupted to get some work done. I’m looking forward to the girls going back to face to face lessons and for their learning to get back to normal.
It has been nice to sleep in a little, not be in a rush to get anywhere, not have to do lunches (although I still do but not packed ones), and not have to do the school drop off and pick up. This has been one of the more relaxing parts of learning from home.
I’ve told the kids that we are living through a huge event in history, a global pandemic and the last one was in 1918. The older kids understand the history and what has been happening but the four-year-old is not understanding why we have been at home, and he has only recently started back at pre-kinder.
We will look back on this time and be amazed at how we survived, adapted and stayed together to be safe and well.
Although there were many good times I have been hanging for the world to return to normal or at least somewhat normal. I live in a small house, and this means if kids and hubby are home I have no space to do things for me.
The kids have taken over the living room for their school work and when Alexander is here I need to keep him busy, it has only been this week and last that he started back at care, so today is a reprieve for me to allow me to do a few items of work, and help the twins out with any needed school work.
Doing some creative arts at home
Here is a sample day for us while kids are learning from home:
Kids and everyone gets up and have breakfast.
Drop Alexander off at care, if not at care, I look after him which means he wants to play with his sisters and his sisters decide to play with him instead of doing schoolwork.
I ask what they need to work on after they watch the Good morning show from the teachers.
They say not much or don’t respond (yes I am invisible and they don’t answer even if I am next to them) so I log on to see what assignments and work is due.
I then print out about 5-6 items that are not done or complete.
Kids work on one task, then take about million trips to the loo and to the kitchen to get a snack or drink.
Ask if the work they started is complete and the answer is either nothing or NO.
Go in to see if they need help, they have a fit at me as they can do it on their own, I then mention that they have other work to do and give them another 30mins to finish the task they have already had hours working on.
More trips to the bathroom and then the realization that it is now recess and they need to have a break. Why do they need a break when they have had one every 5 mins!
Break Again? I tell them to get back to work and finish their tasks.
They have recess and play on the trampoline for what feels like hours to then come in and do the same with other tasks they don’t complete and then more arguments and negotiations about what they are doing and when it will be finished.
What! It is lunch now??? Again they need food and of course outdoor time. No work is happening again. Finally, they are back at their desk and doing something, I sit with them to ensure that something gets done and they argue about how it is all too hard and they don’t understand.
Now they claim they need to go to the bathroom again and are incredibly thirsty and need a drink or else they might die.
Many trips back and forth to the kitchen, bathroom and then work desk, but not a lot of work is happening.
The kids are worse than cats, in and out of the house, at least I don’t have to open doors for them.
The kids now finally notice it is the end of school time so they bugger off to the garden to spend the rest of the day on the trampoline.
I’m not sure what work has been done or finished and really don’t believe any work has been done at all!
There were many failed attempts to get kids back in the house to complete schoolwork, but it was a giant relief that the house is finally quiet, mummy has a headache and needs to finally do one piece of work that she has been trying to do all day!
Mummy is over it all and wants the kids to just do their job. Why is this such a hard ask????
I have finally got my desk back as the kids like using my computer for Minecraft and some of their Google Classwork.
I have looked at many other parents social media during the last two months, and it seems many kids have really enjoyed the remote learning from the school, they got stuck in and just did the work. Pictures that were posted showed kids in the school uniform, kids looking happy and of course many boasting about how their child is loving this time and getting all their work done in record time. I was like this as a kid, without wearing the school uniform at home.
When I was younger I did correspondence for three months while I lived on a boat travelling the islands of Queensland. I got my school work done in a few days and then swam and played for the rest of the week. I was told that if I didn’t do my work I couldn’t go swimming and as a kid who lived and breathed the beach and the sea this was a deal-breaker, so I did my school work.
It saddened me that my children didn’t share this drive and idea to get things all done to allow them to do more fun things. I even signed them up to some free stem coding classes and thought that this would be great, Tynker can also help you program things for Minecraft too. See I’m working with their interest in Minecraft.
Maybe my kids just need to be at school for the routine and discipline of their teachers? Maybe being at school just helps get them into the right mindset?
Working hard at their schoolwork – I had to coax a smile out of one of them, the other one decided she didn’t want to cooperate
As I write this the girls are quietly working away on their classwork, there are still many outstanding tasks but my aim today is to see if we can finish everything that is due. Or at least come close.
Maybe it has taken us two months to just get into the swing of things….although the kids have decided they had to have an early lunch, maybe this will mean that they will do more without another lunch break?
One thing that the kids have done more of is to help around the house and to do more cooking. They have cooked us all dinner a few nights a week and have refined their cake baking skills. Have you been baking more? I think it is a natural consequence of being at home more especially when cafes and restaurants were closed.
It is also the last day of being together at home so I want to take them out for a hot chocolate or something to celebrate and to mark the occasion.
You know how I said they were quietly working away, well that is no more after all of me showing everyone what to do and where the work was people are claiming they don’t know what to do and where the work is!
Geeez… another day spent supervising kids with their school work, I’m just grateful this is the last day of this struggle here.
How have you found the time at home with the kids? Did they enjoy learning from home or did they struggle?
My girls have said that they prefer school to learning from home, so it is going to be nice for them to go back to where they are better suited. I was a bit worried that they might prefer elements of working from home and it could be a hard transition back. However, with the twins saying they don’t really like remote learning I think the transition will be okay and nothing to be worried about.
Also, mummy and daddy are super keen for the house to be peaceful and for us to have our time again.
What are you looking forward to when school goes back full-time next week?
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Australian scientists at the Victor Chang Cardiac Research Institute have discovered that if women have Vitamin B3 during pregnancy it can prevent miscarriages and birth defects.
“Every year 7.9 million babies are born with a birth defect worldwide and one in four pregnant women suffer a miscarriage in Australia.”
The study found that a “deficiency in a vital molecule, known as NAD, prevents a baby’s organs from developing correctly in the womb.”
Nicotinamide adenine dinucleotide (NAD) is one of the most important molecules in all our cells. It is essential for energy production, cell communication and DNA repair.
Vitamin B3 is required and essential to make NAD. This is found in meats and leafy green vegetables, oh and Vegemite.
It is essential to have a good supply of vitamin B3 in the first trimester as this is the critical time for organ development.
New Born Baby
The Victor Chang institute found that at least a third of pregnant women have low levels of vitamin B3 in the first trimester and that is with taking vitamins, also in the third trimester 60% of pregnant women needed more of vitamin B3 as their levels were low also. This would mean that pregnant women would need to boost their intake of this vitamin.
The study found that before the introduction of vitamin B3 into the mothers diet, embryos were lost due to miscarriage and babies were born with a range of severe birth defects. After adding the vitamin to the mothers diet miscarriages and birth defects were prevented and babies were born healthy.
This is a massive breakthrough that will help so many people. It is just like the discovery of of adding folic acid to prevent spina bifida and other neural tube defects in babies. Mothers worldwide are all told to take folic acid to help their pregnancy. Adding folate to the food supply and making sure women have a more of this vitamin during pregnancy has led to a 70% decrease in the number of babies born with neural tube defects. The same will now happen with the understanding of Vitamin B3, and in turn lead to less miscarriages and birth defects.
If you are pregnant or want to be soon make sure you get your vitamin B3 to ensure all will be well.
I know things sometimes are not planned when you end up pregnant, but sometimes they are. My pregnancies were all planned and I made sure that I took vitamins well before I conceived and also had a good diet of fresh vegetables, meats, fruit and also exercised.
And sometimes baby number 2 or 3 is a surprise, or you were trying but thought it might take a while and it didn’t so time-frames might not work for all.
If you know you are planning for a baby, my tip is to make sure you focus on your inner health, vitamins and stay well. Having a baby is a huge job for you and your body. Carrying twins or more also puts another strain on vitamin stores. When pregnant with the twins I had to take more vitamins due to extra of an additional baby and their need for more vitamins.
One thing to do is if you are worried about your levels you can always go to a doctor and get them checked. Then you will know what you need to take, plus you can always get the vitamins from food too.
Isn’t it interesting that vitamins play such an essential role in our lives.
I hope this has helped you know more about this new discovery and if you are pregnant or want to be make sure to have a Vegemite sandwich or toast more often. (I love Vegemite and can live off it)
7.9 million babies are born with a serious birth defect worldwide every year
3.3 million children under five die from serious birth defects annually
Congenital heart disease is the most common form of birth defect, affecting 1 in 100 babies
42 babies are born with a heart defect in Australia every week
30 babies will undergo heart surgery in Australia every week
Heart defects account for 30% of deaths in children under five
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The other day one of the girls walked into the kitchen bawling her eyes out. She was so upset she could hardly tell me what the issue was. Once she calmed down a bit I finally learnt what the problem was.
I did initially think that she or her sister had hurt themselves and we might need to take a trip to the hospital. Thank goodness it wasn’t the case.
The kid who was extremely upset told me that she was very sad that Amy Pond and Rory had died. For those that are not aware of these names or characters, they are in Doctor Who. Yes my girls take after hubby and I with their love for the Doctor.
Amy Pond and Rory Williams, from Doctor Who. Image found on Pinterest.
I tired so hard to make her feel better but she kept on saying things about Amy and Rory like they were real people…… OH gosh… what do I do now???? She is a sensitive little bunny and these things upset her. I was like her as a child.
Yes there are moments that I get frustrated at behaviour and then realise that I am exactly the same. Do you do this too?
One thing that I did say was how about we watch the next episode to see what happens….So I will do that with her to see what happens next. From memory all works out well….but she does not know that.
Although I was shocked at her attachment and upset for the characters of Doctor Who, I had to think back to what I did when I saw this episode for the first time.
I did the same thing. Yes I cry and get very upset. I do the same thing when one doctor dies and he morphs into a new person…. I get to love and like the doctor and I don’t want them to change at all…However it does change and therefore it means more upset from me and now from one of my girls.
It got me thinking about that saying “That awkward moment when you find yourself being frustrated with your child…For behaving just like you.”
I am getting annoyed that she gets upset easily…however I have completely forgotten that I do the same thing. It is major to a child if their favourite characters die in a show or a book. It is very upsetting as an adult too.
I made sure that we had cuddles and kisses and talked about it, she felt a bit better after some nice mummy cuddles.
Have you had moments that your little ones have pushed your buttons to then realise that their behaviour is exactly like yours? Let us know what happened.
Need a unique gift for a family member? Don’t have heaps of money? Well, this great project will give you a cheap gift and your family member will cherish the present for years to come.
This gift can be for birthdays, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Celebrating being a new mum/dad, or even Christmas. So don’t worry it will be perfect for any occasion.
Create your own hand and feet print canvas, great gift idea. Be prepared for a mess. It was a bunch of fun though, but the baby got the messiest. Enjoy!
Gather Your Materials
Washable Paint. If you have more than 1 child you will need different colours for each child. I purchased red, blue and white paint. I made purple paint and also pink out of these colours. I ended up having purple, pink and blue for the 3 kids to use.
Canvas (You can small sizes, large ones or enormous size canvas. It is up to you and the project you are making) I chose small square ones so that they would easily fit in the post and also on a wall.
Newspaper to cover the floor or outside area. This makes sure you don’t get too messy.
Towels – You might want to have towels set up on the floor to protect the path to the bathroom so that your very messy kids can not mess things up too much once they get in there to get clean. I do find that if my kids are head to toe covered in paint, the walls and doors get covered in it too. Therefore having a washable paint is ideal as all you have to do is to give the wall and floor a quick wipe and all is good.
Paintbrushes – We used paintbrushes to put the paint on hands and feet. You can just put your hands and feet in the paint but using the paintbrush made it a bit easier.
How To Create the Prints
Step 1: Have your paint ready to go. If you need to mix colours have it all organised before the kids get near it.
Step 2: Put the newspaper down and then lay the canvas on top.
Step 3:Make sure kids are in clothes that can get dirty and then paint a foot or a hand and press on the canvas. (You might want to figure out where each hand and foot is going to go on the canvas. You don’t want to figure it out with excited kids who are ready to paint everything and anything. Before we put anything on a canvas I spoke to the girls about where each person’s hand was going to go and we were going to save space for the baby as well.)
Step 4: Since I was making more than one canvas at the same time I did this 3 times for each person. I made one for my Mother in Law, one for my mum and also one for me!
Step 5:Once you have all the hands and prints on the canvas, it now needs to dry. It should dry well overnight and be ready to post the next day. I picked one up for my Mother in Law. It just needed some bubble wrap to protect it and it sat in the box with the other goodies for her birthday.
This is a good rainy day activity. I am sure it will keep the kids happy and having fun. Afterward, they can have a bubble bath and you get some peace and quiet after they are relaxed and tired.
Maybe after the bath put on a film for them to watch or read them a story…… I do live in hope that the kids will be super tired after activities.
Oh well, whatever you do enjoy. I hope this gives you some great ideas and a cheap gift idea to create.
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Stay current with all the things that are happening on Mummy to Twins Plus One. Don’t miss a thing by signing up for my newsletter. This newsletter will list all giveaways and fabulous things that are happening.
Need a unique gift for a family member? Don’t have heaps of money? Well this great project will give you a cheap gift and your family member will cherish the present for years to come.
This gift can be for birthday’s, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Celebrating being a new mum/dad, or even Christmas. So don’t worry it will be perfect for any occasion.
Create your own hand and feet print canvas, great gift idea. Be prepared for mess. It was a bunch of fun though, but the baby got the messiest. Enjoy!
Gather Your Materials
Washable Paint. If you have more than 1 child you will need different colours for each child. I purchased red, blue and white paint. I made purple paint and also pink out of these colours. I ended up having purple, pink and blue for the 3 kids to use.
Canvas (You can small sizes, large ones or enormous size canvas. It is up to you and the project you are making) I chose small square ones so that they would easily fit in the post and also on a wall.
Newspaper to cover the floor or outside area. This makes sure you don’t get too messy.
Towels – You might want to have towels set up on the floor to protect the path to the bathroom so that your very messy kids can not mess things up too much once they get in there to get clean. I do find that if my kids are head to toe covered in paint, the walls and doors get covered in it too. Therefore having a washable paint is ideal as all you have to do is to give the wall and floor a quick wipe and all is good.
Paint brushes – We used the paint brushes to put the paint on hands and feet. You can just put your hands and feet in the paint but using the paint brush made it a bit easier.
How To Create the Prints
Step 1: Have your paint ready to go. If you need to mix colours have it all organised before the kids get near it.
Step 2: Put the newspaper down and then lay the canvas on top.
Step 3:Make sure kids are in clothes that can get dirty and then paint a foot or a hand and press on the canvas. (You might want to figure out where each hand and foot is going to go on the canvas. You don’t want to figure it out with excited kids who are ready to paint everything and anything. Before we put anything on a canvas I spoke to the girls about where each persons hand was going to go and we were going to save space for the baby as well.)
Step 4: Since I was making more than one canvas at the same time I did this 3 times for each person. I made one for my Mother in Law, one for my mum and also one for me!
Step 5:Once you have all the hands and prints on the canvas, it now needs to dry. It should dry well overnight and be ready to post the next day. I packed one up for my Mother in Law. It just needed some bubble wrap to protect it and it sat in the box with the other goodies for her birthday.
This is a good rainy day activity. I am sure it will keep the kids happy and having fun. Afterwards they can have a bubble bath and you get some peace and quiet after they are relaxed and tried. Maybe after the bath put on a film for them to watch or read them a story…… I do live in hope that the kids will be super tired after activities.
Oh well, whatever you do enjoy. I hope this gives you some great ideas and a cheap gift idea to create.
Do you feel that you are racing around just to get everything done? Does it always seem like a mad rush?
Well if you can say YES to this I hear you.
I have felt like this for a while now that I am running around trying to get everything done and not really get much done at all.
Taking time for you and to enjoy your own company is great. I love the silence and peace that this gives me. When I get to do it. Image found on Pinterest.
Things that have been done:
Kids cared for
Kids taken and picked up from school
After school activities organised, paid for and driven kids to and from them
Cared for baby
Shopped for food and essentials at supermarket
Got birthday present for my mother in law
Washed clothes and now trying to fold and put them away
Cleaned kids room about million times. No point with this one as in seconds it is back to the destruction it was in before it was tidied up
Cook dinners for everyone
Pack lunches for kids
Check the mailbox for important mail (mainly checking for birthday presents to arrive, oh and a wedding anniversary gift)
Make sure that all excursions have been paid for and notes signed
I know there is more to add to this list but some things are a blur so I might have forgotten something important.
Just relax and breathe in good vibes….. and breathe out bad vibes! Image found on Pinterest
Racing around in the window of time that I have to myself never seems to get everything done. I did try and tidy up the bathroom in-between hanging clothes on the line. However I had to have the baby in the garden with me so was keeping an eye on him while doing some jobs.
When I get some time for me to just sit in silence and not race around I feel a little on edge. I think this is due to being on the go all the time and the constant activity and noise of now three kids. Sometimes it takes a while to just chill out, relax and just be.
I currently have a very sore neck and shoulders; It is rather painful. I tend to hold all my annoyance and stress in my shoulders, jaw and neck. I have tried massage, hot showers and the chiropractor. Maybe I need all three? Or a nice Queensland holiday that allows me to be on the beach, sleep in and rest might be just what is needed.
How do you try and relax?
I try and watch some of my favourtie television shows or go for a walk on my own. Yes walking all by myself without kids is great (I need to wait till a weekend to do this as hubby needs to mind the kids). I also like to take myself off to a cafe for brunch or maybe to the movies to watch a film that I have wanted to see.
The Child Development Institute has a great list to help parents manage their stress. Why not check out some ideas that might help you next time or now if you are needing some relaxation time.
Taking the time to relax is very important. It is good for your health and of course relationships.
Do you find it takes more time to relax than it used to? I truly believe due to being constantly on the go it takes the body more time to rest and de-stress. What about you?
I know it is hard but I do think we need to cut back on things and activities. I would just love to come home after school pick up and just be. I have also tried to make things a bit easier for me by doing some organising the night before. This means less stress in the morning and an easier start to the day. How do you make things easier for you when you are extremely busy?
Yep although I have my worries and annoyances, I have so many blessings that I am very grateful for. Image found on Pinterest.
The other week we celebrated International Women’s Day. Lately, there have been many articles about women and girls; the topics range from equal pay, pocket money, women not being in leadership roles, how women manage money, and more!
Inequality is still a major issue and I’m sure I am not the only one that finds this appalling. Yes, it is 2016 and we are still not treating women and girls as equals. Why is being female such a negative thing? We are strong, we have children, we solider on just like men do, and we manage the household, we manage kids and work and also have a career to boot. Plus some of us, myself included taking time out to do unpaid work of looking after kids and family. This unpaid work is not easy as there are no holidays, sick days, or thanks for the majority of the job. However, if you don’t do something it gets noticed instantly. Have two kids sick and you are ill and struggling, you are on your own. You cannot call in and tell the boss you cannot come in that day. Oh, how I wish this was the case!
Girls and women are more highly educated than ever before and it is reflected in the workforce. More and more women are striving for the top jobs and also entering into industries that were seen once as male-only domains, such as engineering, IT and much more. I for one believe and so does hubby, that jobs should be matched on a skill basis. If you fulfil the skill and job requirements you should be seriously looked at for the role, and your gender should not be a factor to determine if you get a job, or if you get a promotion or if you get a pay rise or paid the right amount of money.
Here is my rant about the inequality that women deal with. Yes, I have my cranky pants on and I’m not apologizing for being angry. Everyone should see this as unforgivable. If you have daughters would you want or accept that they will always be underpaid and undervalued? I would hope not!
Gender Pay Gap Stats. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
Why are top female sports professionals so underpaid?
The Matildas are Australia’s national soccer team. The team have been very successful in the FIFA World Cup and in the lead up to the Olympics. There has been a pay dispute with FFA (Football Federation of Australia), the team wish to have equal pay like the male soccer players.
For example, Each Matilda player got $500 in match fees for the knockout game with Brazil. However male players receive $7,500 for the same thing. (Convery, Stephanie: September 11, 2015, “The Matildas’ pay dispute could spark real change”, abc.net.au)
— $500 per group-stage tournament game, $600 per round of 16-tournament game, $750 per tournament quarter-final, $1250 per tournament semi-final or third or fourth-place playoff and$1500 per tournament final
— Plus an equal share in 30 per cent of all prize money
SOCCEROOS
— A share in commercial profits from matches played and sponsor bonuses
— $6500 per standard international game
— $7500 per group-stage tournament game. $8500 per quarter-final tournament game, $9500 per tournament semi-final or third or fourth-place playoff and $11,500 per tournament final
— Plus an equal share in 30 per cent of all prize money
— Or, $240 daily wage
As you can see a match fee for men that is $7,500 to the women’s pay of $500 is a massive difference. A difference of $7,000 is just not on at all! Not fair if you ask me. Very rude to The Matildas to not value their skill and success and not pay the same as the men are getting.
“”In my next life when I come back I want to be someone in the WTA, because they ride on the coattails of the men,” Moore said. “They don’t make any decisions and they are lucky. They are very, very lucky. If I was a lady player, I’d go down every night on my knees and thank God that Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal were born, because they have carried this sport. They really have.” (Rothenberg, Ben: 2016, March 21, “Indian Wells boss Raymond Moore says women tennis players should be thanking men”, The Sydney Morning Herald.)
Serena Williams “rejected the notion that Moore’s comments could have been misconstrued.
“There’s only one way to interpret that,” she said. “‘Get on your knees,’ which is offensive enough, and ‘Thank a man’? We, as women, have come a long way. We shouldn’t have to drop to our knees at any point.”
“Williams expressed particular shock that Moore would make such comments after last year’s US Open when excitement over her Grand Slam bid caused tickets to the women’s final to sell out before the men’s final for the first time in tournament history.” (Rothenberg, Ben: 2016, March 21, “Indian Wells boss Raymond Moore says women tennis players should be thanking men”, The Sydney Morning Herald.)
Graph looking at data for full-time wages and the gender pay gap. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
Why is it when there is media coverage regarding Hilary Clinton’s race for the white house, the question is, “How do you feel about a woman president?”
Why is being a woman a major issue?
I understand that America has not had a female president but you don’t hear the same questioning for a male wanting to be president. I would think that they would find this line of questioning rude and not seeing their credentials for the job rather than focus on gender.
If a woman is successful in her career and life, why is it that she is singled out due to her sex? We can see instantly that she is female and that is not a major thing to notice. Who cares!!!
The only thing that should be looked at and worried about is, can she do the job? A woman needs to be noticed for her skills and achievements not just due to gender.
You never hear in the press, that we have a man in this job and it is a first. I wonder how he will do? Why are men not put through the scrutiny women are? Why are men getting more money for the same jobs?
Why is it when men don’t hit their objectives/KPI’s in their job that they still get higher bonuses than women?
Ridiculous if you ask me. Isn’t the whole idea of the reward system to reward the workers that hit the objectives and performance indicators? Not the person that does not achieve?
This could be a woman or a man, the employee just has to hit their targets to be in the running for a bonus not get one without doing so.
“Despite getting the same performance ratings as their male colleagues, women get smaller bonuses on average, according to a report from human resources consultants Mercer.
Even men who only partially met their performance objectives got bonuses that were 35 per cent larger than their female counterparts.” (Perkins, Miki: 2015, November 4, “Gender pay gap higher in bonuses, report finds”
Looking at the gender pay gap from 1995 to 2015. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
“Boys earn $13 a week in pocket money on average, while girls get $9.60, according to a survey done for the Heritage Bank and released in time for International Women’s Day this week. The bank made similar findings in 2014. (Fitzsimmons, Caitlin: March 8, 2016, “Girls get less pocket money”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
How atrocious that boys even when little still get paid more! I wonder how this works?
Why would parents pay girls less than their boys? I know I wouldn’t.
According to the article from the Herald, it says it could be down the types of jobs done by boys/girls or how the child negotiates. Or maybe the fact that girls are expected to just do housework or jobs around the house for no pay… If this is the case that is just horrible! Living in 2016 and just due to your gender you are expected to do things for no pay. Wrong I tell you! Also if this is so and the reason, showing boys that housework or other chores around the house are not to be valued and not paid is not right at all.
I don’t understand why having a penis makes you earn more over a lifetime. Maybe I need to get a fake one to improve my chances?????
Why is this discrepancy occurring? As an employer, what makes you underpay women?
Why is it okay to pay female employees less?
Women are equally deserving as men, women have the same education and skill base, women are focused and high achieving, and would like to be promoted and go places just like men. This is not something different.
Just because we are female does not make our wants and desires any different to a man. We are just working harder and for less money!
When I was working in the corporate world, I was keen to be promoted and to progress in my career. I saw the men get promoted but when I put my hand up and showed interest I always got told not now, you don’t have the skills yet (although I was already doing the job but did not have the new title and new pay to accompany it) and much more. During my time at many companies, management changed and this meant it was mostly men that took up positions of power, and therefore brought along their mates, who were of course male. I must say that there were a few powerful and lovely women who did a great job and I greatly admired them.
Why is ambition from a woman seen as a terrible trait to have? If I was a man I’m sure the outcome would have been completely different.
Ambition is a great attribute and I should be rewarded. I wish I would know what it would have been like if I was a man, would my life and career have looked different? Would I have been the CEO of a company by now? Maybe it is best not to know, if I knew how it could have been, I think it would make me even angrier.
I was always taught, that you study hard, work hard and do well, good pay will follow. Gender did not come into it. I really don’t see how your sex should determine pay.
Women live longer than men and therefore need more savings to live. Being short-changed in the earnings department means that women’s superannuation is much less than a man’s and even lower if they have had a career break to look after children or other family members.
“The gender pay gap is worst where pay is kept secret and women often find out they are being paid less than their male colleagues after years on the job,” she said.
The gender pay gap is currently at a 20-year high of 18.8 per cent, according to the Workplace Gender Equality Agency. It means that, on average, women earn $298.10 a week less than men. Put another way, they have to work an extra 66 days a year to take home the same amount as a man. (Gartrell, Adam: 2015, August 2, “Greens call for an end to ‘salary secrecy’ to help bridge gender pay gap”, They Sydney Morning Herald)
Pay gaps are broken down by state. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
Wow! Women earn $298.10 less each week compared to men! That is a lot to not be earning.
That is a loss of $15,501.20 per year in earnings.
Fancy missing out on 15K per year. That is a HUGE gap! I am not sure what industry that these figures were taken from or if this is just an average of many women interviewed and data collected from the Workplace Gender Equality Agency.
If businesses did not keep pay secret then women would know what men and women in similar roles were being paid.
This would help negotiation for salary and make sure that women are not being underpaid. Making pay transparent would also help everyone, not just women. Not knowing what certain roles are being paid and what you can ask for is definitely hard.
If you know what the value of roles are, you are so much more informed, plus employers will, of course, get highly trained individuals that will work hard and wish to grow with the organisation.
The Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has been focusing on innovation and technology. My girls are very interested in the STEM subjects, Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths. Hubby and I have encouraged this as we believe that the jobs of the future will have some or all of these skills. Also if the twins focus on these subjects and are good at them, they can get a job that pays well in the future. Why are girls not participating in these areas as much as boys? Why are we not encouraging girls to give it a go?
“A recent OECD report found less than one in 20 girls from OECD countries considered careers in science, technology, engineering and maths. In 2013 in New South Wales a tiny 1.5 per cent of girls took the trio of advanced maths, physics and chemistry. Yet a recent study by PricewaterhouseCoopers revealed that in the future 75 per cent of the fast-growing occupations will require STEM – science, technology, engineering and mathematics skills. We are locking ourselves out of the workforce. If we are going to earn the same as our pipsqueak brothers, we will have to think hard about the choices we make.” (Clarke, Ruby, 2015: June 28, “Teenage girls need to change themselves to affect the gender pay gap”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
How low is 1.5% of girls participating in STEM subjects in New South Wales! We need higher numbers. What do you think?
There is also the argument that women work in part-time roles or choose not to work due to kids and other commitments. That might be true.
However, for the women that wish to work, it is rather difficult if you do have kids as well. Juggling motherhood, career and life is tough. Not horrible but just more things to organise and get lined up to make sure everything happens.
I for one would love to work part-time or say full time. A couple of days in the office and the rest from home. My jobs have all been online and therefore can transition to work from home roles. I can put kids in care for the days that I’m at the office but don’t want to have kids in full-time care. Firstly it is too expensive and, secondly, I will never see them.
I don’t have the luxury of living near relatives and therefore I am the one that does all kid-related activities. School run, and after school activities is all down to me. Being the only one doing all this is limiting and therefore I have created my own opportunities with my blog. My own online presence, to hopefully build my empire! (You can only put it out there. You never know right?)
“Sure, if women are simply choosing to work shorter hours in lower-status jobs in lower-paid industries – perhaps because they choose to take on the bulk of the task of looking after children and the home – then there is no problem here.
But – and here’s the rub – perhaps these are not choices freely made.
Perhaps women don’t want to retire with no superannuation or other savings after all. Perhaps they would like to earn a pay-packet the equivalent of a man’s, but they’re too busy looking after those male’s kids for free.” (Irvine, Jessica, 2015: July 31, “Apples and oranges: Gender pay gap is worse than you think”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
Many women would love to get the job after kids to fit into their new lifestyle, however, many companies are still stuck with the mindset that you have to physically turn up to a job in an office.
How about job share? Part-time in the office for 2 days and work at home for 3 days. Work some hours in the day and some in the night and weekend? Flexible hours as long as the work gets done.
Understand if you need to be online or on the phone for meetings or in the office. You can always have a catch-up meeting every fortnight or month?
Depends on the business and workload.
With technology, I don’t why more places embrace telecommuting. It would save the company money and also allow them to get quality employees that will stick with the company due to allowing them to be flexible and work from home.
Think about all the women with fabulous skills that are itching to get the job that businesses are overlooking!
“Clearly society has to change in order for women to rise, but we, the teenagers of Australia, also have to change our attitudes and perceptions. Major corporations must set targets to increase women’s participation in managerial positions.
Men additionally need to take more responsibility for child care and share the load. Unionised workforces also tend to be higher paid workforces so if women join unions, their rates of pay should increase.
But. It’s also down to you and me, ladies. We need to change, too. We need to think about what kinds of lives we want. What kinds of jobs will get us more money? Are we going to be in charge of our own futures or are we going to rely on men to pay for them? If you want to work with children, how are you going to pay for a house in Sydney now the average price has hit almost a million dollars?” (Clarke, Ruby, 2015: June 28, “Teenage girls need to change themselves to affect the gender pay gap”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
When I see a role that is just perfect for me and of course will pay a full wage. Why is the money for child care seen to only be taken from my wage?
Why is child care seen as something that the woman needs to sort out in order to work?
Isn’t child care an issue for both parents?
Having an extra wage would help out the whole family and therefore it is an issue that the family need to address not just one person.
I agree that men need to take more responsibility for child care and help with this more. Some men do this and there is no issue here. However the more equal it is, the more easily women can re-enter the workforce and contribute to the family, society and build for their future as well as their families.
It is 2016 and sex is still seen as an issue regarding pay. I would have thought that this would not be the case.
I hope for my girls that this is not the case when they are older but I would have thought that it would have been already resolved by now. So I’m not holding my breath, however, I can live in hope.
As I have said before, gender is not an issue for pay. The only important issue is, can you do the job, and do you have the skills?
Pay for the role not because someone has a different anatomy than another.
Let me know your thoughts.
Thanks for reading my HUGE post about this issue!
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Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I have been very busy dealing with our latest addition.
Our third child was born on the 7th of January, exactly on his due date. Yes how prompt is he. We had a little boy and his name is Alexander. The twins are super excited to be big sisters and to give him cuddles and help out.
Our latest family member Alexander was born exactly on his due date. How clever is he! Only 5% of babies do this. Maybe he will be a prompt person? You never know right?
Ever since I had my third child I have had no time. Yes you can probably relate if you have just had a baby. Up all night feeding, expressing breast milk and just trying to settle the baby. The house is a total mess, laundry needs sorting, folding and to be put away. Things need to be tidied, chucked out or just put away. The essentials are happening, we are clean, have food and all is well, although life is a bit of a mess at the moment while we adjust to another person and trying to get into a routine. This is especially true due to having two kids who are full of beans that don’t seem to remember not to run, jump and bounce everywhere. It is not helpful once you have finally got the baby to sleep. Plus school drop offs and pick ups and also after school activities makes it harder to keep a routine. I have just planned to have food for Alexander, change of clothes, nappies and be ready if he needs anything while we are out.
This is my little boy. It was taken exactly when he was 5 weeks old. He looks very grown up here and also to a bit cheeky. I love the fact that you can see what he might look like when he grows up but also to that he such a cute little baby, well if I do say so myself. I am bias, I’m his mummy so I am allowed to be.
Our latest addition is hard to settle after a feed. He did not latch on well to the breast. I did try breast feeding but he screamed the place down that he had not gotten enough milk. I thought all was good as he was asleep after these feeds and then attempted to put him to bed. Once tucked into bed he screamed the place down. He gave all the signs that he did not get enough and was indeed still hungry. Oh how could you be hungry???? You have just had some from each boob and now you are claiming you did not get enough! Oh well. I did more and more and that did not fix the issue.
Breast feeding was terribly painful and I thought it would get easier. The midwives said it was normal to have a bit of discomfort and you will get used to it. They came and saw how the baby was latching on and to see how I was dealing with the feeds. I did everything they said but due to the baby being fussy and getting into such a state he was angry and then very unsettled for feeding (It was like the baby was angry that the café or restaurant did not have his food ready at the time he requested. Terribly annoying when you have such bad service!) This is not the time to try and be putting him on the boob. I then got annoyed, angry and stressed and this was the same for the child. Not ideal.
I then came to the conclusion that I should just express my breast milk and feed the baby like I did with the twins. Our new little person seems much happier getting more milk in the bottle. He is still getting breastmilk and I am less stressed about feeding and he gets it when he needs it.
Expressing my breast milk while in hospital.
However due to him not latching on properly he hurt my nipples and this in turn made me get ill with mastitis. I left hospital to only be back one night and that one night I was up all night dealing with the baby. He feeds well when it is in the bottle but sucks in too much air and therefore holds a lot of wind. Trying to burp and wind a baby is tough when it goes on for over 4 hours!
Yes, it is stressful and exhausting. Then once you hit the 4 hour mark or less you are due for his next feed and you have to do it all over again. Plus add changing nappies for a child that screams like you are killing him while you try and get rid of the pooey nappy.
I have tried to write this post for days now and today he has been all over the place and very unsettled, so I have been adding to my post in stops and starts all day. He seems to like cuddles and wants to be with you. This is nice but when you have a house to look after, other kids and things to do it gets difficult. Maybe when he finally sleeps I can sleep too or get something else done. Lately I have been more focused on sleeping, hence why other things like house and blog have been unloved for a while.
As mentioned I was only home for a short time and that time I was hot and bothered with a fever, I also got extremely cold and had the worst headache I’ve ever had (I could not handle light and found it hard to see). I had temperatures that were 38.9 and an hour after having Panadol it came down to 39.6. So not much of an improvement. I felt terrible; very ill and like I had an extreme case of the flu or more like the walking dead. I called the hospital and they suggested I come in to be looked at. They agreed that I had mastitis and I ended up having antibiotics via an IV drip and stayed in hospital for another 3 days. Not fun, the IV antibiotics burnt when it went through my vein and made me have a very tender hand for the next week or so.
The cannula for the IV. I always hate having them done. Very painful.
I did mention to the hospital before I left that I was burning up and was feeling all hot. I was told it was my hormones and that it will all settle down soon. It was obviously the infection starting and it just got worse when I came home. One of the midwives at the hospital said that I did the right thing by coming back to the hospital as she said it only gets worse if not treated.
I was convinced that I would have the baby earlier than it coming exactly on my due date, which in fact only 5% of babies do. So he is terribly clever to have done that. Maybe he heard the doctors say when he was meant to come, so thought he would adhere to that date. Maybe he might be a prompt person and always on time. I have no idea, but it is weird he came exactly when predicted.
I was so over being pregnant. I was approaching my due date and still no baby! Any week over 34 and 2 days for me was overdue; I had the twins at this time and any time after this felt like an eternity.
As I said, I was ready for the baby to come and was trying to coax it out. Here are some of the things I tried:
I was doing squats
I was having raspberry leaf tea
I went walking and tried to be more active
I ate chilli
I even had talks to the baby in my belly and was telling it that it needed to come soon as I was over it all. It of course did not listen.
As many women who are in the last trimester of their pregnancy you get to the point where you just want it to be all over and done with. I did not want to have the birth and was a bit worried about all that due to the drama from the twin birth and was concerned that it might be repeated.
My pregnant belly. Taken on 2nd of January 2016. Little did I know that just 5 days later the baby would be born.
I could not bend over. I was having pains and could feel things starting to move in the right direction but no labor had started. Damn! How annoying.
The hospital was doing their standard freak out as they were telling me that if I don’t have the baby by 39 weeks or I go over my due date they would like to induce me. What the????(The hospital said that if I go too far over my due date that could be high risk and they are not equipped for this, so if this happens then I would need to go to Nepean to have the baby) I have had an uncomplicated pregnancy. It is one child and not two like last time. I am not high risk, I did not develop gestational diabetes and have remained active throughout. I have even only gained 8kgs during the whole pregnancy so that was something that was good news for me. Although I felt like it was a lot more and I was HUGE.
I woke up at 4am on the 6th of January and noticed that things were happening. Yes 4am seems to be the lucky or weird hour that things happen. When I was pregnant with the twins my waters broke at 4am so this was strange that it all started again at this time. This was the day that the twins were going to vacation care and I had to get their lunches ready and all organised so that we could drop them off. I could not go back to bed and ended up having painful contractions that were extremely painful and I found it hard to walk and do anything. I checked the internet to see what needed to happen before I went to the hospital. The sites that I visited said that if I cannot walk and talk during contractions and if they are coming more frequently, if I lost my mucus plug, if I am in pain and not coping and so on. I thought this was all the case so phoned the hospital.
I spoke to a midwife who then said that it sounded like things were progressing and if all of the above had happened then it might be wise to come in and get looked at. She also mentioned some other things like breathing and something about pillows and my back and hubby helping. I was finding it hard to concentrate due to the pains that kept on coming and going.
Once hubby was we dropped the kids off at vacation care and then went straight to the hospital. This was just after 9am and they gave me a once over. The midwife we saw said that I was only 1 and half centimetres dilated and that I was not ready. Damn! Why can’t the baby be ready! All that pain to only be slightly ready…..very annoying.
13th of January, not even a week old.
While at the hospital the midwife told us that if we had the baby before a certain time we could come to Katoomba Hospital. If we had it after 7pm that evening then we would need to go to Nepean as Katoomba during this 24 hour period did not have a Doctor on call for the maternity ward and therefore could not have births there during this period. What the???? I go to a hospital for all my maternity care and now I cannot have the baby at the hospital of choice. Hubby and midwife suggested maybe mind power can help make the baby not come in this 24 hour period. I told both of them that I don’t think this would happen, as my body was doing things and feeling like it would be soon.
The midwife said that the way I was presenting that it will all kick off at 7pm and therefore would need to go to Nepean. I thought no way. But this lady sees a lot of women so maybe she knows what she is talking about. I thought we will see.
Hubby and I had plans to have lunch with some of our close friends so we went to the local pub all while having contractions. We went to the shops and although it was very slow going for me due to the fact contractions made me seize up and it was like all my legs, lower back and pelvis was in a muscle spasm. I could not move while it was happening, and during this I could feel the head banging to go further down…. YES painful!
7pm comes and we are reading stories to the kids and tucking them in for bedtime. My contractions were super painful and getting closer together and it was harder to talk and to do anything. They were 5-6mins apart at this stage.
I think the midwife jinxed us, as she predicted the time and the fact that it would all happen. Damn now we have to go down the mountain to Nepean due to the local hospital not being able to have us there. I called the hospital and this was a hard phone call due to being in pain with contractions coming and going. They said that we cannot come there, and that they would call ahead to Nepean and we needed to leave now due to the time it takes to get down the mountain and the times of my contractions. Oh great………a trip down the mountain in a car while I am screaming and in pain.
Hubby and I are in the car and screaming down the mountain due to impending birth (well I was definitely screaming). During our trip a P plate driver decides we are trying to race him and he revs up his car and tries to get in our way. A learner driver nearly crashed into our car, a truck nearly collected us and people did not get out of lanes so that we could get there more quickly. During the trip I of course was screaming and yelling due to the pain and the pressure was getting intense in my pelvis due to the baby pressing and pushing with even more gusto. I did not want to have the baby on the side of the road, or in the car. I was just hoping we would get to the hospital in time.
When you were pregnant did the hospital of your choice close at the time of labor or was not available for whatever reason? Did you have to race to go somewhere else when labor hit? Let us know.
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I am nearly 30 weeks pregnant with one baby. I am on the home stretch, and getting very over being pregnant. As per some of my other posts I don’t love being pregnant but love the outcome; a lovely new person that will add joy to our lives and household.
I have been spending the last month or two wondering what this person will look like, what will they want to be and do with their lives, will they be blondes like the girls or have darker hair? Will it be a girl or a boy? So many things to wonder and daydream about.
Pregnant and over it!
Aside from the nice thoughts about this future little person I have not had fun. Many of the normal side effects of pregnancy I find horrible and hard to handle. See my list of complaints and annoyances below:
Nausea
Throwing up
Not able to eat things that you usually did due to reflux
Tiredness to the point of exhaustion. You cannot keep your eyes open and your whole body is zapped of energy.
Sore breasts
Weight gain
Headaches
Breathlessness
Constantly uncomfortable
Finding it hard to bend over at all
If things are on the floor they tend to stay there as getting them is difficult
Now the latest in a long list of complaints is sore and wobbly legs and horrible hip and pelvic pain.
Leg cramps at night that hurt and make it hard to sleep
Hips throbbing at night making it hard to get any rest at all
I have had conversations with hubby about how I am feeling and he said, “What did you expect? You have done this before so you knew what it would be like.” Well all I can say is that the constant leg, hip and pelvic pain did not occur with the twin pregnancy and it is getting worse. At times I find it hard to walk and that is just around the house!
This pregnancy is completely different than the twins. I did have the same symptoms early on and was very sick and freaked that I might be having twins again. If we did we would have been happy with that but all tests have confirmed one person is in there.
I wish hubby could experience all the things that have happened during this pregnancy to give him an idea of what it is like.
“If men were constantly nauseous, had issues walking and were in constant pain, I believe they would be in bed waiting for it all to end”
I don’t think hubby could cope and I am not saying this lightly. He is a tough man and soldier’s on when sick, however pregnancy throws you a multitude of symptoms at the same time. You think you are winning at times, but fighting nausea, reflux, headaches and constant pain in the legs and hips all at once does your head in!
What a pity you cannot wave your hands and have hubby experience a month or a week of what you are going through? Would you have liked to have done this? I know I would love to. Pity I don’t have magic powers.
Even getting up and out of the lounge is taking forever now… yes annoying really! So quickly going to do something is not quickly anymore…. It happens when it happens.
I know he cares and he is making sure all is well in the house to prepare for our new addition. He is actually nesting more than I am. He is stressing out trying to get the babies room ready and concerned that we are running out of time.
His main worry is that my belly will get too big to help move some things around or help out. My answer to this is to ask one of our mates to come move stuff if that happens (Which I think might be the case)
Have you found that the second or third pregnancy different from your first or others? Have you had some annoying symptoms that have made things harder for you to do things? I am still active and getting things done just a bit slower than usual.
What has your partner said or done that has helped or annoyed you? Let us know.
I must say that all this talk of double dipping and new mums supposedly rorting the system is hypocritical if you ask me.
New Parents – Hopefully will be still able to claim the parental leave.
The government voted for this paid parental scheme. It was structured with part coming from the employer and part from the government. Government minister wives have even made use of this scheme. It was all above board and if you were entitled to the parental leave payments why not let this help you if you are a new parent. It all helps.
Why is it that we are now having conversations about who works and who doesn’t. I for one would like to challenge any person to say that a mum that is a stay at home parent does not work. The only difference is that they are not in paid employment. This mother might be racing everywhere and going above and beyond for her family but this is not listed as work, due to no payment for said tasks.
Working mothers do it tough too. They drop their kids off at care or have family to come and help. Without care these mums would not be able to work and to contribute to society, their household and progress their careers.
It does not matter if you are in paid work or not. Looking after kids, family and a house is a big job as well. Doing this with a full time job is hard too. It is all a balancing act. No one is better or worse, it is just different.
It now seems like mothers are under attack. I know that is not actually true but that is the way it appears. Joe Hockey was asked if “Double Dipping” was fraud and he eventually said yes. Now he is back peddling. So I suppose in his mind all women/men that took advantage of this paid parental scheme, which is legal and was voted in by him and the current government are breaking the law.
be the primary carer of a newborn or recently adopted child
meet the Paid Parental Leave work test
meet the Paid Parental Leave income test
be on leave or not working from the time you become your child’s primary carer until the end of your Paid Parental Leave period
Just in case you are worried that paid parental leave might not be available for you, there is a note on the website that says:
“The current Paid Parental Leave scheme has not changed. It will continue to be available to eligible customers.”
Let’s just hope that it does not get changed at all, or very little if at all.
What are your thoughts? The government is now claiming that it is the parents fault for taking advantage of a legal scheme to help them spend more time with their new baby.
If there is a way for new parents to spend more time with their new addition why not take that up and give yourself more time to bond, and get to know your new little baby. It could be a mother or father that wishes to do this, and does not always have to be the mum that is claiming the paid parental leave.
Are you a new parent? Have you been lucky enough to get the paid parental leave? When I went on maternity leave with the twins I did not have this option and plus I was on a contract.
If paid parental leave was available when I had the twins and I was in full time employment I would have taken advantage, as it would have given us help when we really needed it. Caring for two new little people and not earning a wage was a shock to the system.
Let us know how this talk of double dipping is affecting you. What are your thoughts of all the back flipping?
Branson went on to say that unless you have a job that requires you to fly a plane or the like, you probably can do your job remotely. He even went on to say, “Companies that forbid the practice, such as Yahoo, put pressure on families and limit opportunities for women, according to the Virgin Group founder.”
Brilliant. Yes you have hit the nail on the head! Many women myself included are highly skilled and educated. They wish to give back but due to family commitments it makes things difficult. Working from home is ideal. You don’t have travel. You can focus on the tasks at hand and of course get more done. There are so much on offer now to make telecommuting easy for all. There is Skype, Google Docs, Dropbox and more. Why not hang onto your best assets and knowledgeable employees that want to work and will go above and beyond.
Happy that she has a work from home job.
If you find that one or a few staff members are not pulling their weight. Well you give warnings and then you make the decision to either let them go or forfeit the telecommute option.
I for one would give 120% to be able to work remotely in a good job with great pay. (I have noted that lately some work from home roles are underpaying for what they expect you to do. One full time role was a management role and expected 40+ hours a week, conference calls overseas via Skype and to manage maybe 100+ websites. This they were paying at least 60K less than the going rate for this position. Not sure if it was the company or the fact that since you are working from home they have undervalued everything. The work is still the same, the job is still the same so therefore the pay should be the same as well. What do you think? I do accept that you don’t need to travel anywhere for your role and that is a bonus but why should you get short changed?)
Employers are doing themselves a disservice. Brain drain is a big issue. It does not have to be simply mothers or fathers wishing for a more flexible family friendly lifestyle. If you don’t treat people well, they walk. Loosing staff that know all your processes is tough. It takes a long while before you can train new staff to know what the former staff knew inside and out. This is a cost to the business in knowledge and also to money. You need to retrain and rehire.
Many employers offer you the world and then don’t deliver. They promise flexible work and telecommuting options, however whenever you seek to use this option there are myriad of excuses for why it cannot be applied to you and your role. You have not been here long enough was what I always got told, and another amazing one, we need you here to manage things.
One place I worked for I was there five years and I lived the furthest away. A day here or there would have been amazing, but no it was not to be. The girl who lived less than 30 mins away was always working from home. You would have thought three years somewhere and putting in extra hours and working on projects that were successful would have qualified. No it did not.
I wonder what the magical number is that qualifies you to work from home from a corporate or organisations point of view. Is it what value you can give them? Or more like is it seen as a perk and not a value to the business?
In February 2013, Marissa Mayer, Yahoo’s Chief Executive put a stop to employees working from home. She believes that working side by side is better and more helpful for business and staff members. I do understand that interaction is nice and having catch ups is always something to look forward to. This can still happen if you have a fortnightly or monthly catch-up with say a team that is working from home and see how everyone is going. Maybe on these times you get everyone to come into the office to touch base and have a day in the office, although the rest of the work is from home. Now there’s an idea. What do you think?
Marissa Mayer is not the only one that has adopted this notion of side by side working. In the Sydney Morning Herald article it also mentioned that Patrick Pichette who used to work at Google as the Chief Financial Officer has also the belief that working side by side is more productive. How did Pichette work somewhere where they encouraged working remotely with “Google Apps” to allow employees to work from home to now saying that working side by side is more productive? In the article Pichette says the following:
“”The surprising question we get is: ‘How many people telecommute at Google?’ ” Mr Pichette said at a talk in Sydney on Monday. “And our answer is: ‘As few as possible’.
“It’s somewhat counterintuitive. People think, ‘Well, because you’re at Google you can work from anywhere.’ Yes, you can work from anywhere, but many just commute to offices . . . Working from the office is really important.”
Coffee and tools to work from home. Off to get a lot done!
I do understand that brainstorming and bouncing ideas off people does help a great deal, however quiet time to reflect and think is needed also. Maybe it could be a bit of both, some days in the office and some days working from home?
It is 2015 and more kids are tech savvy and will be wanting flexibility when they enter the workforce. I want it now and I’m not considered a kid. Why are we still that rigid when it comes to having staff work from home? As long as the job is getting done that is the main thing.
From the businesses point of view it is a cost saving if staff don’t have come to the office and have a permanent desk, phone and computer. They don’t need to provide this if you have a remote role (I know some places might give you a phone or laptop but that is rare). All they need to do is to maybe have a hot desk when you come in for team meetings and catch ups with your manager or team. Easy really. I just don’t see why it is so hard, especially in this age of technology and options.
I believe companies that don’t offer work from home and flexible options will not attract the right people in the future. We are moving to a work environment where you don’t have to be in an office. You could be on a beach or in your house with your pj’s on. As long as you are hitting your KPI’s the rest does not matter. For major corporates to not look beyond an office job is silly in my book, there are a lot of people with excellent skills that can do a great job from a home office, they just need a chance to show you they can.
What are your thoughts? Have you tried to work from home? Were you successful? Do you have a job that is a telecommute role? If so please share how it works for you.
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Healthdirect Australia who manages the national Pregnancy, Birth and Baby service conducted a survey to find out the concerns parents have being new parents, about pregnancy and the birth of their child or children.
Did you know that many parents have thoughts that they are unable to share with others. Sad really. Every parent has probably had the same thoughts and sharing will make you not feel so alone.
Pregnant and wondering what it will be like being a mummy.
“The online survey of 1,011 expecting or new parents found that 53 per cent reported experiencing some issues that were so personal they couldn’t tell anyone.”
I do understand not wanting to share very personal information but at times having a person who you trust can help a great deal.
What were your biggest fears when you were pregnant?
Mine was just around the health of the baby and that the birth went well. Initially I was thinking that we were having one child, but that thought soon ended and the worry over a multiple pregnancy entered my head. I was fine but my doctor was rather concerned.
From the survey they were:
Something being “wrong” with their baby (49%)
Miscarriage (42%)
Coping financially (34%)
Baby crying… please go back to sleep!
Emotional support is a big thing that is needed in the first stages of parenthood.
71% needed significant emotional support in the first six months of parenthood
Men and women looked to their partner, friends and family as well for their support network.
GP’s was next on the list
Online forums was noted to be a good source of support as well.
I for one was super tired and a zombie like person after the birth of the twins. Constantly getting up every three or so hours to feed babies, change them and to make sure all is well with little people made me very, very, very tired!
It is no surprise that one of the biggest challenge once you have a new baby is the lack of sleep that parents face, especially the primary care giver. The next major issue was if your little bundle does not sleep at all. I was very lucky my kids slept well, I don’t know how I would have managed with babies up non-stop and I with no sleep either.
Factor in recovering from birth and if you have other children to care for as well. This would push your limits.
Sleepy baby
One third of respondents reported experiencing miscarriage. 32% sought counseling. It is difficult to talk about loss, feelings and pain.
“Pregnancy, Birth and Baby was set up specifically to help people struggling with issues around pregnancy and birth, and that includes pregnancy, stillbirth, neonatal and infant loss. We’d encourage anyone dealing with a tough time to call us on our 24 hour help line on 1800 882 436, or visit our website at www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au.
I have my down times when everything feels horrible and like I am a complete failure. Yes I suppose everyone goes through this. Terrible mother moments, and self-doubt creep in.
I then look at all the good things that I have done.
My kids are:
Happy
Healthy
Smart
Love hubby and me
Giggly
Funny
Active
Considerate
Helpful
Caring
They are also sometimes naughty, silly and don’t listen but that is kids for you.
On the whole. I am doing a good job. I think you are too. Don’t beat yourself up over some little things. So what if the house is a mess. So what if you did not have a shower to drop kids at school. If you brushed your teeth and hair and managed to get kids dressed and sorted for school that is an accomplishment in itself. You can always have a nice relaxing shower or bath while kids are at school or care. This way you can relax!
Focus on the positives. Take small wins and if someone offers to help you accept it. When the kids were babies I had family come over all the time to help me out. It was a nice time and much needed.
A father with his new little baby. Finally sleeping. Now not to move!
Oh and one other thing. If you are pregnant and about to give birth. Freeze about three months of meals in a freezer. If you have to add rice or salad that is easy, but having all the hard cooking done makes things ten times easier, especially when you are tired and don’t have the time or energy to cook.
Don’t worry about reaching out for support or help. This is what these organisations and groups are there for.
Anything that helps and makes you feel better is a positive and is good for the family.
See below for all the info about HealthDirect Australia and Pregnancy, Birth and Baby.
ABOUT HEALTHDIRECT AUSTRALIA: Healthdirect Australia is a publicly funded company, established to provide all Australians with access to trusted health information and advice, when and where they need it. We deliver a number of health services, including Pregnancy, Birth and Baby- free 24hr advice and through pregnancy, childbirth and the first year of parenthood. For more information visit: www.healthdirect.gov.au.
ABOUT PREGNANCY, BIRTH AND BABY:Pregnancy, Birth and Baby is an initiative of the Federal Government and offers free, confidential information and support to women and their partners through pregnancy, childbirth and the first year of parenthood. The service is also available to friends and relatives.
Becoming a parent can sometimes be challenging or overwhelming, and it’s reassuring to know there is expert help and support available whenever you need it, 24 hours a day, seven days a week:
By phone: call 1800 882 436 at any time of the day or night. Our staff can answer any questions you may have, give you advice on what to do next, and redirect you to other useful services.
Video call: Pregnancy, Birth and Baby is one of the world’s first health services to offer a secure, high quality video call option, 7am – midnight, 7 days: http://www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au/video-call
Online: The Pregnancy, Birth and Baby website provides information for expecting and new parents on a range of topics. The information is easy to understand, up to date and has been subject to Healthdirect Australia’s strict quality assurance processes: www.pregnancybirthbaby.org.au
Let us know your thoughts. Why not continue the discussion on our Facebook and Twitter pages.
I AM TRYING TO WORK ON SOMETHING THAT IS RATHER IMPORTANT AND NEED TO CONCENTRATE! CAN DADDY HELP YOU?
I told hubby before being bothered that he had to sort dinner and everything else. He was happy to do it as I was busy. Great I thought, until the Weet-Bix meltdown began.
For the last couple of days the kids have not been feeling well, and one is coughing and had a slight temperature. The other had a bit of a temperature also, but it was nothing to worry about. So we did the normal fluids, painkillers, kisses and cuddles and that was it.
The kids of course requested to have Weet-Bix for dinner. We thought fine, they are not well and at least they are eating something.
When the twins are feeling unwell they like to have Weet-Bix for dinner. Yes this could be a parenting fail. But I think if they are sick, it is better that they eat something than nothing.
Just to explain: I’m the mum who gets the interest of the worried doctor due to kids looking thin and underweight. My kids have always been at the bottom 3rd percentile on the graph in the blue book you get when you have a baby.
I know my kids are fuss pots with eating, however they were on track for their milestones and have been ahead for some of them. This was good as one doctor we saw in the early days was convinced the twins might be delayed, so wonderful this was not to be.
So as you now understand if my fussy eaters, when sick desire Weet-Bix, we let them.
Hubby prepared the Weet-Bix but was not prepared for the outcome.
This is how it all unfolded:
Hubby brings Weet-bix to children.
One kid takes a look at the Weet-Bix and starts screaming and crying.
She says, “That is not how you make Weet-Bix!!!!” “Mummy does not make it like this!”
This child was so upset and annoyed by the way the Weet-Bix was, she had to physically remove herself away from the food and could not touch it as she was in such hysterics.
Not the way Weet-Bix should be! Daddy why did you do this she said!
Hubby also got told:
“How could you?”
“That’s not how you do it!
This is not correct!”
All of this was accompanied by waving of arms, crying and putting hands on face in major disappointment.
Due to hubby’s loss at what the issue was, and of course dealing with a traumatised child, I piped in and said,
“If you don’t like it, you can fix it. Go to the kitchen and do it the way you like it”
She took the matter into her own hands, left the room and went to the kitchen.
She returned with a bowl of Weet-Bix created in the way she likes and wanted in the first place.
Weet-bix made by the child in question and just the way she likes it!
Daddy said that she reacted like he had given her a pooh sandwich.
Have you ever done something for the kids to have a hysterical reaction to what you did?
What was the thing that made the child/children so upset? Was it as simple as not organising the Weet-Bix like the child wanted?
Note: Daddy put the flakes of Weet-Bix in the bowl as well as the last biscuits. He was being thrifty and good to use every last part of the box. However if you use too much of the end flaky bits it makes it clump and just be a big mess. I think that this is what the issue was.
Let us know your thoughts. Why not continue the discussion on our Facebook and Twitter pages.
Kids having fun at vacation care. Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Do you use vacation care? I only used a day here or there, but the last school holidays I sent the twins three days in a week. It has been a god sent. Yes me time in the holidays. Who would have thought, being relaxed in the school holidays. I was not meaning to have them in for three days in one week, however the vacation care provider has great activities to do during the holidays. One in particular was drumming and music and the other was a craft day that was themed and of course carried over to another day.
Due to the kids love of music and of course creating as much artwork that is humanly possible I thought they would love it. It would be a win for me and them. They would have fun with kids, some their friends from school and new kids. While at care the twins will be taken to excursions or otherwise known as different activities for the day. You don’t have to sign up to these excursions but it is only a little bit extra and it makes the day much more fun for the kids.
I realised that I was much more relaxed due to having more me time and also less stressed. In hindsight I did the last school holidays all wrong. I was run off my feet entertaining the girls. Although I enjoyed it I am only one person with limited resources. A care facility can and does organise so much better events and excursions than I can.
Next school holidays I am doing it smarter and booking the kids into a few days of care.
Other mums commented on how relaxed I looked and it was like I went away on holiday. NO holiday on a fancy island or resort. Just the simple thing of having some time for me. Quiet time to allow me to do whatever I wanted. Sewing, blogging, resting, catching up on TV shows, going to the shops that are far away (yes having the kids in care allows me to travel down the mountain and to go to the shops. Fancy going to a dress shop without the worry of kids touching everything!)
So come the next holidays I am going to do it the right way this time. I cannot afford too many days of care, but a day here and there is a great help and allows me to do my own thing. It is a holiday after all. I find it sad that it seems like it is just a holiday for the kids. When is it my holiday time? Yes I know very rarely, but you have to try and find time for you and your mini holidays.
Do you use vacation care? Has it been as amazing for you? Do your kids love it? I love it, but it is mainly due to me being able to do whatever for a day. A full day rather than a school day. YES!!!! I hear you say, where do I sign up.
Centrelink also gives you a subsidy for care so you pay a certain amount but this depends on the percentage for your rebate. If you are interested you can check with Centrelink. This does make it cheaper and more accessible for all.
Mother having fun with her child. She has more free time due to having a wife/housekeeper. Yes, that would be nice right! Image courtesy of Chaiwat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I read with interest the article, “Modern Mothers Need A Wife” that was on Women’s Agenda.
I am a stay at home mother but like to try and fit in some work for my blog and other things. I also wish to try and earn some money while the kids are at school and don’t wish to be trapped to housework in my free time.
I do understand it needs to be done but sometimes, and lately, due to being ill it has not been done at all and some areas of the house very sparely, for example, the kitchen, bathroom and bedrooms. However a glance at the house in its current state you would think a bomb has gone off and no one has been here to clean up any mess at all.
In the article, it discusses Annabel Crabb’s new book, “The Wife Drought”. Women who have stayed at home as mothers and carers have supported the careers of men and I do agree that women do need the same if they are to climb the corporate ladder and keep the home front clean and tidy. Yes, it is hard when you have to physically leave the house and work long hours. As a woman if you do have a full-time job, you end up coming home to another full-time job, the house, kids, cooking, and more! It never ends.
I know this is sexist but I still find it in 2014 that men who come home from work seem to clock off and have a rest while they sit wondering what is for dinner, even though they might have got home before their wife. Why can’t the husband or partner organise dinner for a change? I don’t understand why due to me being the woman or the wife that I now have to cook dinner for everyone just because you have not been bothered. Does this happen to you? It is assumed that you will do it even though you have worked a full day, and to also organise everything else while he (it is normally a man so forgive me if it is different in your household) sits down with a beer to unwind and be left alone to relax.
Now if I had a wife, all this would be sorted. We don’t need to reference the role as a wife, but it could be a housekeeper or helper. The dinner would be sorted, the house would be tidy, and all things that you would normally fuss about after a hard day at work or out and about would be organised. No reason to stress, no reason to argue with your partner/husband/wife.
You can be happy and ready to start the day again knowing that all the things that helps make the house run is sorted! How good would that be?
I do have a friend that is now a stay at home dad. He does some jobs from home to keep his hand into what he is skilled at doing, but his partner earns a good wage and it made sense for her to be the person that worked full time and he would look after their baby girl. My hubby has always said that if I earn heaps of money he is more than happy to stay at home and care for the girls. We have just made a decision that was better for us financially and it is that he works while I look after the kids.
Have you thought if you had a wife helping you at home your world and things would be better? Would you be able to contribute and do more? Earn more money? Be happier and not so stressed?
My aim one day is to get a cleaner for the house as I hate doing it all and it takes so much time and energy. I never liked it before kids so this has not changed. I know being clean and tidy is necessary and helpful, you even feel better in a tidy room with no clutter. I do need to do a de-clutter so I am bad as have not done that as well.
When I have a little bit more money I am hoping to engage a cleaner to come to the house as I believe outsourcing some things will allow me to do more, be less stressed, happier and of course the fact that hubby and I will not argue over who has done what. The reason this has not happened is due to cost so that is why I am doing it all myself.
Are you like me and would like a wife to help you out? If I hired a wife I would need to pay them, however, I feel upset that all my work has been unpaid. Really not fair, but I suppose we have saved the money by not paying others so it is a saving in a way. I, of course, would not expect to have someone help without payment, but if you are the type of person that loves to clean and wants to do it for free I am happy to hear from you about a job opening.
Let me know your thoughts. Would having a helper with the house and kids help you? I know I would love it.
Do you have a housekeeper or a cleaner already? How has it changed your world? Send in your comments.
