Tag: tantrums

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Family

The Struggle to Put On a Nappy

I had an early morning swimming lesson for Alexander and had to get him dressed in his swimmers and swimming nappy.

It all sounds so simple, doesn’t it?

Well, it wasn’t!

Hiding so he doesn't have to get a new nappy or fresh clean clothes.
Hiding so he doesn’t have to get a new nappy or fresh clean clothes.

My first task was to take off his clothes that he was wearing. He didn’t like this at all and fought me.

I finally got his clothes off and then attempted to put on his swimming nappy. I was not liking my chances as the clothes previously was an ordeal.

It was even worse with the swimming nappy. He tossed and turned, threw himself backwards and every time I tried to get a foot in the nappy he moved it out.

Blocked at every turn! I then thought to try and hold one leg in the nappy and try to do the other side, but he wriggled so badly that he then turned over and tried to go back to sleep on the change table.

Geez, I had to get him dressed and take the kids to school. I didn’t need the drama of not wanting to get his swimmers and nappy on.

Alexander did tell me he wanted to go swimming and then said no, but I had already told the swim teacher we were coming and had previously missed two weeks to him being sick.

We had to go today and I couldn’t do anything if I wasn’t able to get him dressed.

After a lot of angst, annoyance and huffing and puffing, I finally got him dressed in his swimmers, nappy and shoes and socks. He refused the jumper and by this stage, I was over it.

I know it was freezing today but I had to leave the house and to struggle for the next 30mins to put a jumper on a toddler that he will take off instantly in a few minutes wasn’t worth it.

We were quickly all in the car, I put the heat on and we were off.

The car told me it was 2.5 degrees with the icy symbol. Great, it’s even colder than I thought it was.  I hope Alex would be warm enough and also keep his shoes on until we go to the pool.

It was a saga getting him dressed and organised for swimming but it was similar to get him changed too. We warmed up in the hot shower but it was hard for him to get warm and he was clearly shaking due to being very cold.

I got him dressed as fast as I could but he still did his best to push back! I managed to keep the clothes and nappy bag dry and was lucky to balance it on a chair.

Finally, we were both dressed and ready to drop him at care.

I got home feeling like I had been in battle and it was longer than a few hours. My battle had worn me out and I just wanted to have a rest and recharge before it all starts again.

Kicking, stopping me with his hands and feet and then head-butting. Is a few tools that my active little person is using to get his message across.

I’ve been calming him down by stroking his head, letting him rest and talking, having cuddles and then trying again.

It’s so difficult when your toddler fights you when all you wish to do is to make sure they are warm and don’t freeze or simply change a nappy.

Have you experienced this? What worked for you?

Sometimes it is like my little person is possessed by a demon and is just acting crazy. I know this is not right but it gives you an apt description of who it feels and looks when it is happening.

It’s obviously a tantrum and brought about by frustration. Maybe he decided he didn’t want to go swimming and would like to stay at home. I am not exactly sure, but he was excited to go.

Let us know if you have had these tantrums with your kids?

 

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Family

Frustration and Tantrums

Simple things lately have been a problem.

Taking dirty clothes off a toddler to hopefully replace with new and fresh ones.

Getting said toddler dressed in new clothes to leave the house.

Putting a jumper/jacket on the toddler is also a nightmare that ends in him screaming and carrying on.

Not to mention trying to give him a bath or shower.  This is a real issue too!

My little boy does the same actions. He looks tired, cries and makes sure that you are looking at how sad he is.
My little boy does the same actions. He looks tired, cries and makes sure that you are looking at how sad he is.

I must say that all the things I have been trying to do are good. Keeping Alexander clean and tidy, making sure he is in clean clothes, and making sure that he gets a wash every now and then.

You might think from his crazy reaction to me being a caring mum that I am torturing him.  Screaming at the top of his lungs I am sure might make the neighbours think something horrible is indeed happening, but it could just be me trying to put pants and shoes on a child to enable me to leave the house.

Now that the weather is cooler it is essential that everyone has jumpers and jackets on.

You might think that it would be obvious to a child that it is cold and therefore a warm jumper would be a good idea. Well, you are wrong!

Alexander has fought and fought so much that it is next to impossible to put a jumper or jacket on him.

I managed to put what I could on him and then decided I couldn’t lose another hour of my life trying to get the jumper on him.

Some days I’ve just given up. A little bit of dirt on clothes is not the end of the world.

A toddler will only get dirtier so what is the big deal. I just need to pick my battles.

If it is important for him to look good then, of course, fresh clothes is essential, however, if we are just playing in the garden or the park and it is a fight to get him changed I am not bothering so much.

Now I suppose all the other mums out there will think I am doing him a disservice and I should make sure he is washed and in clean everything at all times. Well, I cannot do this and have tried, but according to the world of a two-year-old boy, this is torture and therefore only happens when he lets me.

Do you face this guilt about clothes, baths and more? How crusty has your child gotten before you have succumbed and made them take a bath? I think my little boy did a week without a bath but I did manage to get him washed with a face washer on his face, feet and hands.

Alexander hates the wind and lately, it has been super icy.

If it is extremely windy he shouts at the wind, “NO WIND STOP!”

I have told him that no matter what you say to the wind you cannot control it. I really wish you could just tell the wind to stop and it would.

When Alexander is loud and being naughty I tell him to be quiet and try and use a whisper voice to show him. He then raises his voice to a new booming level and screams, NOOO! MUMMA!” , then has the hide to scream at the top of his lungs, “SHSSHHHHH MUMMA!!!!!!”

I’ve also realised that when he gets a bit naughty and loud he is hungry. It must be his blood sugar level dropping and his personality just changes. Once he has a bit of food he is happier and just so much better behaved.

I had to be somewhere the other day and thank goodness I packed a few mandarins in the bag. Without this quick snack, he would have screamed the place down, and this was a nice quiet government department.

If Alexander is tired, hungry or bored he can throw the biggest tantrum. He is also scratching and hitting his sisters and hubby and me when he acts up.

I do know that part of it is frustration that he cannot do certain things and sometimes get left out when the twins have their friends over.

One technique that I do with the kids is getting down at their level and try and remain calm.

It is a hard task when the kid in question is having a full on fit but I do my best. Sometimes my little boy is so exhausted I just get him ready for a nap even when he really is fighting it. He goes to bed quite quickly if he is this tired.

Sometimes the horrible tantrums and fits of annoyance are down to the fact that I will not let him take a much-loved truck or car to childcare. (He lost some the other day and was so upset about it I have decided no more toys from home leave with him when he is at care).

I’ve tried giving him only two choices for clothes but that has not worked out very well. It seems to work best when his favourite red shirt and pants that have characters on the knees are clean and ready to be worn. Aside from this, he suffers me putting inferior items on him.

The twins did not have such temper tantrums and only got interested in the colours of the clothes and were perfectly happy to be dressed as long as it was either purple or pink.  They each had their favourite colours.

I suppose Alexander is doing the same with preferring red shirts and pants, however, I don’t have a lot of red items. Maybe this needs to be fixed? I need to purchase more red clothes.

Alexander is wanting to do more things on his own and being more independent, it is a pity that some things are a little tricky to do and therefore I still need to help him with. For example, he wants to walk across a busy street on his own (I, of course, carry him as he likes to run everywhere), feed himself even though he makes a huge mess and much more.

One thing that is very different from the girls is the fact that he yells, screams and makes so much noise. At times I think he is hurt or not happy but most of the time he is happy and playing.   Different personality is one thing I need to remind myself of,  and being a boy might be part of it too.

Do you struggle to get your toddler dressed, bathed and in a car?

Do they fight you? Is your child having more meltdowns lately?

I must say that it feels like a fight to get anything done.

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Categories
Family

Tantrums

Tantrums, crying, yelling and then throwing things!

Falling on the floor/ground and banging his head in annoyance.  This is a worry sometimes as I worry that my little boy will hurt himself.

Upset boy having a tantrum. My little one does the same. Covers his face and tries not to look at you.
Upset boy having a tantrum. My little one does the same. Covers his face and tries not to look at you.

 

Yelling! And screaming at the top of his lungs,”NOOOOOOO!!”

Fighting me when I try to put on his nappy as well as his shoes and clothes. After moments like this, I am all hot and sweaty and need to have a rest.

Sometimes I get one leg into shorts or pants and Alexander wriggles so much the leg is out and I have to start all over again!

This hate for getting dressed has carried over to putting swimming nappies and swimsuits on too. I come to the pool from playgroup, and go straight to the change room to get him and myself ready for his swimming lessons.

The other week it took 15 mins to just get his swimming nappy on him and another lady gave me assistance to at least get his legs into his swimmers. Alexander was fixated on having a shower rather than going into the pool. I told him that we can have a shower after the pool but he was not pleased with this idea, and kept on yelling, “shower”, and of course not letting me get him ready for his lesson.

Finally in the pool and learning to swim... well that is in between jumping into the pool.
Finally in the pool and learning to swim… well that is in between jumping into the pool.

Once we were all ready to get in the pool, Alexander decided throwing himself on the side of the pool and lying there was better than coming into the water. He was safe and I was close by, I decided to get in the water and show him how much fun it was.

He turned his head to make the point of not looking at me, and was still yelling. I then tried to get closer and comfort him.  The closer I got, meant that he turned away from me. Talk about drama!

Finally he calms down a bit and allows me to get him in the pool to join his lesson. He has some moments where he is trying to climb me to exit the pool and the rest of the time is Alexander wanting to go back to the edge of the pool and jump in.

Now my little boy cannot swim.

He has not taken to the pool very well at all, and does take a long time to get used to it.

Once on the edge of the pool he does a happy dance, smiles and then jumps in (I’m not sure why he likes to jump in the pool but he loves it.  As a kid who takes ages to get used to the water it is amazing that this is preferred activity).

A few times he went under but I was there to catch him. I did think he would lose it after getting his head soaked in the water. I think the only thing that annoyed him was that he had to do what the teacher was asking and he didn’t want to.

Not only does he want to do his own thing during swim class, he does not like to show the teacher anything. If he has managed to blow bubbles in the water he stops if the teacher is looking. His head is turned so that he cannot see her and he is pressed as close to me as he can be.

I attempted to join in with the other mums and dads, as a reward for doing part of the lesson I let Alexander jump off the side of the pool. Then back to the lesson.  I did this until he was happier about the lesson and being in the pool.

We managed a small win. Alexander was finally kicking his legs and actually happy for a bit of the lesson (Normally he clings to me for dear life and screams and cries for the full half hour).  After the swimming lesson was over I played with him in the pool and allowed him to jump off the edge a few more times. Then he didn’t want to leave!

I used the magic words that he wanted to hear before….”Lets go and have a shower now.”

As soon as he knew we were going to have a shower he was very happy to leave the pool.

I think at this point he had about 5 meltdowns and the day was only half way through.  As you can imagine, I was ready to go home. I was ready for bed and to just sit and do nothing. However I still had a few more things to do and one major item was to pick the girls up from school, do homework and organise dinners.

I finally was able to get Alexander a haircut, he loved sitting in a red car during his haircut but refused the apron to not have hair all over him. The only downside of the car was getting him out of it. Yes more tantrums followed.  Oh the joys…. it was a day that kept on giving in meltdowns.

Then off to the shops, chemist and post office.

Now it was time to go to the twins school for pick up. I know my little boy was so tired but if I went home I would have to wake him to then go and get the girls (It would be perfect to have him home while he slept, but I don’t have anyone to mind him, so he needs to come with me.) While in the car we drove to the school and spent some time checking out the traffic on the highway, birds and more things on our walk while we waited for the bell to go.

Insert about 5 or more tantrums while at the school.  I was very ready to put head in hands and fall on the ground myself. I wonder if I did that if it would stop the tantrums from the toddler? Or would it create more of a drama?

My little boy just loves Thomas the Tank Engine. It was a huge job to get these trains out of his hands at the school library. This image is a little bigger than the ones that Alexander had and wished to come home with.
My little boy just loves Thomas the Tank Engine. It was a huge job to get these trains out of his hands at the school library. This image is a little bigger than the ones that Alexander had and wished to come home with.

He climbed the stairs to the library and wanted to leave with the libraries Thomas the Tank Engine toys. It took a few goes to get them out of his hands, and put them on a tall bookcase to allow me time to get him out the door and down the stairs.

Once I got both of us down the stairs and in the courtyard at school, this is when my little boy threw himself on the concrete ground and was yelling, screaming and crying.

He was  yelling “choo choo” about the missing Thomas the Tank Engine toys. He did attempt to go up the stairs again but I stopped his efforts and yes you guessed it more crying and falling on the floor.

I find that if I ignore the tantrum it ends quicker than if I try and calm him down. Ensuring that there the area is safe for him is one thing I do to know that if I walk away for a few seconds he will be okay.

Another technique that I have tried with success is to not have eye contact with the kid who is throwing the tantrum. I find that if I show interest then the crying, yelling and upset lasts longer and it is harder to have the child calm down afterwards.

It is interesting that the twins didn’t throw many tantrums.  I think I was lucky to be spared twin tantrums while at the shops.

Below are a few links that might help if you are dealing with tantrums as well:

 

Did your kids have a lot of tantrums? If they did what was the best way you found to deal with them?  Did only one kid have tantrums? Or did they all?

 

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Categories
5 years and beyond

The Library Disaster

I want that book MUMMY! Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I want that book MUMMY! Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

It is another rainy day. After my visit to the chiropractor I took kids to get a hot chocolate and I had a relaxing camomile tea.  After we finished our drinks I thought spending some time at the library reading some books would be a good idea.

My plan worked to a point and then it didn’t. What happened you ask? Well…

I told one kid that she could borrow a book and then the other wanted to borrow the one we just read. I said fine.  I had just finished “The Tale of Peter Rabbit” before. I told the kids that we had read enough and should go home to get something to eat and do other fun things.

Now here is where it gets interesting and annoying. Remember we are in a library where you need to be quiet.

I put the Peter Rabbit book back on the shelves and took the other 2 books with me. Then the world ended. Shrieks, Screams, Yelling and of course crying! Did I say yelling and screaming! Oh god it was bad! It was mortifying!

I told the twins that we already have this book at home and why borrow it when we already have it. They did not want to listen and were not doing as they were told. I also told them that they need to stop getting the book back as we don’t need to borrow it.

As they were not listening I then said we could not borrow anymore books as we already have some at home that we are yet to read, and they were acting up terribly so they were not due to get anything nice due to bad behaviour.

This of course made matters worse and then I walked out of the library with 2 banshee like creatures following me, screaming the place down.

You might think this is terrible enough. However it does not stop there. My dramatic exit was not to be the end of the story. I realised after leaving I had left the kids jackets on the floor of the kids area in the library. Yes I had to go in again and of course since it is just me with the kids, they had to come in with me again. SHIT!

They of course still carried on terribly, so I told them that they need to behave. I finally managed to get out, to the car and home. While in the car both kids were crying and upset and kept it up for a while.

Kids did not start off with such bad behaviour at the library and while we were there reading the stories there was a baby screaming the place down. I thought how rude of the parent, but understood. Then it was my turn to do the same. It was an embarrassing situation and I did the only thing anyone would have done. Left and made kids go to their room after we got home.

How has school holidays been for you? Have your kids been well behaved? Or have you got banshees at the moment? Send in your stories.

Categories
5 years and beyond

Pushing Boundaries

Running around and creating mischief. Image courtesy of chrisroll at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Running around and creating mischief. Image courtesy of chrisroll at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Are your twins competitive? Mine are. It is tiring and exhausting dealing with kids that argue, annoy each other and want to do the same as the other in the same space, time and with the same things. We nearly have two of everything so there should not be an issue. The issue arises when one child gets something of mine or one of something and then the other wants it also. This as you can imagine makes it hard from a mummy perspective.

So what do I do?

  • Tell the child with the toy/item that they have a certain time frame to play with it and then it is the others turn. This does lead to the child crying and screaming that they got it first but it does get accepted after a bit of time and explaining.
  • Once I have the toy/item from the first kid I then give the toy to the other child and they have some time to play with it.
  • You can make sure it is fair for each child by using a stopwatch or a timer from the kitchen. When the bell sounds the other kid has a go!
  • If all fails I take the toy away and then no kid can play with it.
  • If there is a complete meltdown from both kids I take all away and put them in time out or have some quiet time in their room or in the backyard doing something different. A change of scenery is best. Distract and change things around a bit always is helpful.

This age of pushing boundaries and doing more on their own is interesting. Kids are climbing more, hurting themselves and just being secret little explorers. Sometimes they are doing things that they have been told not to do and that is hard to deal with. Maybe I need to hide more things and put them at greater heights. We are already finding chairs and boxes around the house, these have been used by the twins to access things that they are not supposed to have.

Do you find that your kids are getting into things that you told them not to access! Have you found that your little people are having wonderful adventures and are just very busy with heaps to do all the time? I have and it does not stop! Maybe it is the fact of having two kids at the same age.

My hubby has asked what I want for Christmas and my answer is a holiday for me to unwind and relax! I know not very fair to the family but after dealing with all the chaos of kids, meltdowns and being the go between on everything a holiday where I sleep in, get cooked for, and can have some quiet me time is very attractive at the moment.

How do you deal with this active stage with your kids? I do organise things for the girls but they are active little things and always want to do more and explore. Send in your comments.

Categories
4 years and beyond

Try It, You Might Like It!

Saturday the girls told us they wanted to go rock climbing and we decided to do it on Sunday. The local rock climbing place is now closed so we had to travel to Penrith, down the mountain. Both girls were excited and the rock climbing was something both kids wanted to do and kept pestering us about it. So of course we thought lets give it a go.

We drove 45mins down the mountain and had lunch first around the corner from the centre, then off to the rock climbing place. We arrive and the girls decide they don’t want to do it. I should have known this would be the case. I have tried three times now to get them to do tumbling like they asked and there were hysterics, screams and yelling. I tried to take them to soccer for toddlers as they said they wanted to do it, and the same hysterics happened.

I had to rearrange the girls swimming lesson for Saturday morning instead of Friday morning due to a specialist appointment for one of the girls and they put on quite a show, needless to say daddy was not impressed. The girls screamed, cried and yelled and just carried on and were damn right rude. Daddy had to leave as they were mucking up so badly. I was looking forward to hearing the stories about how well the girls swam and how impressed daddy was as he is normally at work when the twins have their lessons. This tantrum was due to not having the same instructor. I did explain that the girls would have a different one and they knew this, so not sure why it was such a problem.

I just don’t understand why they ask to do something and then refuse to join in and at least give it a go. We were there to help them and there would have been an instructor to help. At the rock climbing centre there are safety harnesses and all padded floor and mats, so no fear that you would hurt yourself.   It is not just the rock climbing but also the tumbling and soccer that has annoyed me. You spend the time, organise to go try out something and your kids create such a commotion you have to leave.

Maybe they are not ready for any group sport? Would starting Kindy at big school next year help this issue? Do your kids create issues when you take them to try out an activity or sport? I don’t want to spend money on something they will not do or are not interested in, hence getting the twins to try things out.

Do you have ways that might encourage the girls to at least try it. I am sure if they gave things a go they would enjoy it.  I am also not the type of parent that is pushing them to do something in particular. If they take a shine to something and are good at it, we will try and give it a go. Just frustrates me like hell that they don’t even try it. Like Gabba Gabba say, “Try it, You might like it!”

Why not continue the discussion on our Twitter or Facebook pages.

Categories
3 years and beyond

Bad Behaviour

Upset Child
Upset Child

One of my girls seems to scratch her sister when she wants a toy, does not get her way or is just angry. This is not just confined to one of them; it does happen with both girls, although it is one child that does it more often.

I have been putting the offending child into time out, as this behaviour is not acceptable and I want it to stop.  Although bad, the behaviour got me thinking of why it is happening in the first place.

Is she angry, sad, or just not able to express herself to her sister or to me? I do ask her what the issue is and mostly I get tears and sad looks. She knows she has done wrong, however it still happens again and again.

I tell her that she can tell me anything, and that I will listen to what she has to say. I do get stories of wonderful things and sometimes I get the fact that sister has taken a toy, or pushed her and other such things. Then mummy has to dish out punishments all round.  Pity the twins don’t have separate rooms; this would make time out or punishments so much easier. You go to your room, and you go to yours! Perils of living in a small house I guess.

Are you in the same boat regarding this bad behaviour? I know it is the stage of the pre-schooler, but it is just a terrible situation as one child seems to get hurt more often than the other. I don’t want one to be traumatised due to me not acting quickly and making sure to put a stop to this naughtiness.  I do act quickly and make sure that the naughty person is in time out while the one that got hurt is cuddled and feeling the love.

Some great links that might help if you are in the same situation:

I am sure that I am doing what is right; I just wish it was making a difference now; maybe it just takes more time? Are you dealing with this at your home? Do you find that when you turn your back that World War 3 erupts?

Do you to tell the kids to be in different areas of the room so that they don’t hurt each other? Most of the time the girls are just lovely, I think this stage is just getting me down a bit.  It does get worse when the kids are tired and have had a long day. I suppose when I am tired I am not nice either.  Send in your comments, tips/tricks and stories.

Categories
3 years and beyond Katoomba and Weather Potty Training Pre-School

Too Easy

The girls successfully have completed their first week at pre-school. They both had a great time, however Julia took a bit of work to get organised in the mornings to get out the door. Julia decided that she did not like her shirt, shoes, did not want her hair brushed and dealt with this by falling down in the hallway screaming and crying. Once out the door and at school she was fine. I am thinking it is due to the new schedule and the change from childcare to pre-school. I could be wrong, she was doing this before, and so it could just be a stage.

Today was the first day not at school this week so we all went to playgroup. It was a wonderful change in the weather to have blue skies and sunshine and currently still do. Crossing fingers it lasts more than a day. Due to the good weather, I have done about 3 loads of washing, clothes are on the line and we all walked to playgroup. Well, mummy walked the girls were in the pram. Although the girls are big enough to walk, it is easier to take the pram. The girls end up getting tired and I cannot carry everything with me. When we go, I bring their potties as there is only one toilet, what to do if someone is in it and one of the girls or both need to go? So I take our own. Better to be organised.

The other mums were asking me, and the girls how they went at pre-school this week. Anna asked Julia and Lillian, and then Lillian said, “It is too easy”.  I thought that was very funny coming from them as this is the first week at the new school, however on Wednesday the teachers were giving them tasks to learn about the colours or at least see if they know them. Both girls know all their colours so it was no big thing for them. They were also asked to put a pink block tower back together once the teacher took it apart.  They had water play, painting and collage. So at this stage it is possibly easy. Not sure what else is in store for them this term, but I am sure there will be other things that they have never done, that won’t be “too easy”. Or maybe it is for them, who knows, we will see.

Yesterday Julia wanted to put her seat belt on in the car all by herself, and gets annoyed when it does not happen. She ends up twisting the straps so it makes it impossible to get it clicked in place no matter who long she struggles with it. She gets in such a mood that I cannot show her how to sort the straps out. She does not want me to touch it as that is considered mummy fixing it and she wants to do it. She yells, screams and cries, “I want to do it, me, let me!!!”, however you cannot just stand there for hours waiting for a seat belt to be done up. Lillian the other day has figured it out.  It does not help that she says proudly “I did it”.

The new pre-school fosters independence which is good, but as Julia had this breakdown with the seat belt 3 times yesterday I was so over independence. Just let me do it, so that we can get going. It is a pity that the mood she gets in she will not listen to what I am saying, I am happy that she tries to do it, however I need to show her how and then I am happy to watch her do it, but not when it is all wrong and never going to work.

Both girls are now able to get in and out of the pram themselves. They can put their seat belts on and Lillian can take her’s off as well. Julia can put it on but has some trouble getting it off, this will change in time. It is nice that you can tell the girls to go into the pram and get their seat belts on and they do. Very relaxing indeed.

Let’s hope that school is “too easy” for the girls, and they do well. This might change when they move to big school in 2014, or at least to harder concepts at the pre-school.

Does your child want to do things by themselves? Is it easy for them or do they struggle? Are they doing some things better than others? How do you manage with the child/children trying to do things themselves when you need to be out the door for an appointment? I usually take over if I need to be somewhere and deal with the tantrums and screams.