Tag: sydney morning herald

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News

We are not there yet!

I am confused!

It is 2015 isn’t it? So why does it feel like we are living in the 1900’s or worse?

I know the 1900’s were not all bad but if you were female and wanted to be accepted as an equal, work in similar fields like men and earn equal pay it was not a great time for you.

However you could mistake our current time for having the same issues. Yes crazy right?

In the news just today was a report about a senior female surgeon, Gabrielle McMullin, who told trainee female doctors that it is best to have sex with a male who harasses them, as it is easier than not having a career at all. Why is this acceptable to tell trainee female doctors that this is okay! Why is a woman telling other women that this is a good way to advance your career? Just shameful and horrible in my book!

Happy International Women's Day. How do you celebrate?
Happy International Women’s Day. How do you celebrate?

“Dr McMullin referred to the case of Dr Caroline Tan, who won a 2008 sexual harassment case against a surgeon while she was completing surgical training at a Melbourne hospital. Dr Tan was vilified and has been unable to find work at any public hospital in Australasia despite the legal victory, she said.”

If someone harasses you and puts the hard word for sex, you have every right to say NO! Saying no and not engaging in sex, or anything should in no way impact your career or your person.

Below are more quotes from the Sydney Morning Herald article:

“Her career was ruined by this one guy asking for sex on this night. And, realistically, she would have been much better to have given him a blow job on that night,” Dr McMullin said in the criticised ABC interview.

“What I tell my trainees is that, if you are approached for sex, probably the safest thing to do in terms of your career is to comply with the request; the worst thing you can possibly do is to complain to the supervising body because then, as in Caroline’s position, you can be sure that you will never be appointed to a major public hospital.”

I am not sure if Dr McMullin was just stating the facts that the work place culture is so bad that it has allowed this sexual harassment to be tolerated and not reported. I do understand that women don’t report crimes due to wanting to progress in life and their careers, however this does not help anyone. It keeps the perpetrator in the environment to strike again. The cycle just repeats itself.

I’m also at a loss to why a female surgeon would be teaching this to young female doctors. She is helping this terrible culture of harassment to continue by allowing this to be accepted. If more people stood up to these men who feel they can manipulate and dominate others, the culture would not allow the silence on these terrible incidents.

Why is it okay to let women or young girls be used sexually in order to gain in their career? Sex should not be a tool to be played with, and it is actually irrelevant in the role as a doctor and other careers as well.

Being female should not make you a target and silenced. This needs to change and NOW! Not later!

As said in my introduction; We are living in 2015 not in the 1900’s so why oh why do women still get underpaid for the same job a man does? Are we living hundreds of years ago? Are there laws to make sure there is no discrimination, Yes there is! However I am not sure how this is applied to equal pay as it does not seem to be happening. If it was, pay would be equal and my rant would be for nothing.

Many women are highly qualified, can do an excellent job and match or can outdo the competition. Fair pay for fair work I say! So why are women still being short-changed? Is it that we are too nice? I have heard that it is due to the fact we have babies and go on maternity leave. I personally don’t see how the possible thought that a woman might have a baby or not make her earning potential drop. Some women never have children and some do.

How about this for size, women live longer than men so we need the money! Pay us more so that we can invest in family, and the economy. If we had more savings for retirement maybe many women would not have to be on the pension due to struggling with little savings. Now there’s a thought! More money in the pocket would help women and society! Easy really, right?

Is the issue due to the fact that we don’t negotiate well enough? Or is it that corporations feel that they can get away with underpaying women and making more money off our brilliant and fabulous skills. I am not sure why it is still happening.

I for one am very frustrated about this. However how do you find out what others are getting paid and men who do the same job? I doubt they will tell you what they earn and many organisations have a private policy in place to protect this information. So due to all the secrecy you are flying blind.

You can do your homework for your industry and negotiate but that is about it. Do you think we should have more transparency on salaries? I do. If we were more open about what role gets paid what, women and also men would know what is fair and equal.

Did you know that?

• Gender pay gap will not close for 70 years at current rate, says UN
• The gender pay gap in Australia is now greater than it was in 1985 despite 30 years of the Australian business community working towards equal opportunity for women, according to the Diversity Council of Australia.

earnings for women in 1985 and now. From http://www.probonoaustralia.com.au/news/2015/03/australian-gender-
earnings for women in 1985 and now. From http://www.probonoaustralia.com.au/news/2015/03/australian-gender-

Why does it feel that we have come so far, but still not far enough. I still don’t understand why underpaying or harassing women helps our society. If we got paid equally it would benefit everyone. The money goes back to the family and helps fund education, feed everyone, put a roof over peoples heads and much more.  It also shows that women are valued for their contribution and skills.

Why are women still penalised for being a mother and the caretaker? These unpaid roles save society a lot of money, it is mainly women caring for kids, elderly and the sick without getting a cent or nearly anything for this service.  It is a massive saving to families and society. Fancy us sending a bill for our work. I am due over six years back pay! Bring it on!

Since today is International Women’s Day we can address these issues or put more thought into why they occur. It would be nice if the heads of companies and the like address the fact of equal pay and strive to make their workplace a harassment free environment. No woman wants to work in an environment that has a horrible culture and also underpays women, they will go elsewhere where they are valued.

When will people wise up to treating women as equal helps everyone. What do you think? Send in your thoughts.

Let us know your thoughts. Why not continue the discussion on our Facebook and Twitter pages.

 

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News

Siblings at different schools?

School kid. Image courtesy of khunaspix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
School kid. Image courtesy of khunaspix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

How would you feel if you had to enrol your kids at separate schools? Yes this is happening, in the inner city parents have been told that due the number of children growing at inner city schools the boundaries are tightening.

Schools have told parents from Annandale North and Leichhardt Public Schools that there is no guarantee siblings will be able to enrol. Some parents have found themselves going to different suburbs to just drop each child off at school.

I cannot imagine how this adds to the day of stress just to get to work on time, and before you do that you have to navigate two different areas, traffic and all that goes with it to drop your kids at school. Not great if you ask me, it is quite the opposite and brings to mind some language that is not fit to print. You get where I am going with this. A stiff drink might be required for this stupid policy, really???? Why would you want your kids in different schools?

How do you get to each place at the same time for pick up? How would you get to both schools for functions/plays/sporting events and more? Maybe in a fantasy world, all events would be nicely spread out and would not clash. However in the real world, all events tend to fall on the one day and someone is going to be upset you did not turn up. Insert very upset face and angry parent symbol here.

Jamie Parker a Greens MP has been quoted in a Sydney Morning Herald article saying that the policy is cruel and not family friendly. Anything that makes you place kids in separate schools and makes you travel and puts you out is not family friendly. I wonder if the people who made these policies have their kids in the same school.

In the same article it tells us:

“An increase of 900 primary school children has been projected for the electorate over the next five years, but there are only 16 spaces in schools, including music and art rooms, that can be turned into more classrooms. Another 39 classrooms are needed and more siblings face being turned away as schools reach capacity.”

From what I gather it is down to very bad planning from the Department of Education for not allowing for growth and of course thinking that siblings would not want or need to attend the same school. Mr Parker is also blaming the former Labor government for this issue.

Annandale is an inner city school that is running out of room. In 2008 their enrollments were 353 and now it is 440. One idea was to have a demountable classroom on the small playground but there is no room.

I am not sure what the answer is if schools don’t have room. Maybe a new school/schools? Although creating, and building a new school takes time and might not answer the short term issues, but it would address the future ones.

Has your child been turned away from the school due to lack of space? Did you have to go to a neighbouring area? Let us know.

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News

Real Men Change Nappies

Baby in fresh nappy. Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.
Baby in fresh nappy, hopefully changed by daddy. Image courtesy of photostock at FreeDigitalPhotos.net.

I read with interest the article by Kasey Edwards, “French fathers don’t change nappies” that appeared in the Sydney Morning Herald. Why is it that a woman is saying the following?

“Men have more important things to do than change nappies.” Valeire Pecresse, French conservative politician.

When you decide to have children you do it as a couple not as an individual, well that my point of view. I for one don’t think that a woman would want to not have help with the baby and if the father decides they are above changing a nappy how does this helps the mother take a break away from the child?  If the other parent cannot handle this duty then it is not fair to the mother and of course other help might be needed.

My husband helped out and changed his fair share of nappies, although I do agree in the article from Edwards that I did do more than hubby but that was due to him working and me being home more often with the twins.

That said, he did step up and care for his girls and make sure that a new nappy was in place no matter how terrible it was to deal with the old nappy. I am proud that he is a man that can deal with this.

I am not understanding why in 2013 this talk about men being more important to help their family and their new child. Why are men considered more important than the woman? Why is the man not wanting to help their child and give their lovely wife/partner a break?

Other women have been noted in this article saying that their men did not help with nappy changing duties, Madonna said that Guy Ritchie did not change a nappy as it is not a man’s job, interesting. A man can get you pregnant and a man can claim that he is helping and supportive but cannot change a nappy. Well helping with a nappy and child care is manly in my book. What about you?

According to the article it also lists Carla Bruni-Sarkozy mentioning her husband Nicholas Sarkozy did not help due to the fact that he is ‘a Latin Man’, not sure why this is something that makes you not help but he used it and it worked for him. Could the same be used the other way, I am ‘a Latin Woman’ therefore I cannot do certain things. Not sure why it would help you get out of doing personally. If you know please let me know.

Honestly if you tried that on me it would not pass and you would be so much strife your life would not be worth living. Dealing with twins as my first kids you can imagine the amount of nappies I changed and that we were faced with. Hubby had to help whether he liked it or not. He, as I mentioned was on board and loved being with his girls, and nappies was part and parcel of this.

Did your husband/partner help with changing nappies? Have they helped with all things baby and child? Or has it been just you? Send in your comments.

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4 years and beyond

Melting Temperatures

The Girls at the Airfield
The Girls at the Airfield

Today was cooler than yesterday and Saturday. Tomorrow is going to be a day that I think any human who is outside will melt and not ever be the same. In the city it is meant to be 43 degrees and in the west of Sydney it is meant to be 45 degrees.  So all those that rate things in Fahrenheit rather than Celsius 45 degrees is 113 in Fahrenheit, so it is going to very hot. It is listed to be 34 degrees here which is normally cooler than the city but it is expected to be even hotter.

As you can imagine it is a complete fire ban, people have been asked to make sure they have an escape plan and to keep cool. The local veterinary has put a list of what to do in a fire if you have pets – Fire Safety for Pets.

Not only will we have extreme hot temperatures we are set to have gale force winds tomorrow. Let’s just pray and hope that we have no fires and we are all safe and sound. Tonight we took advantage of hubby still being on holidays and managed to go to the the airfield for their regular Monday night BBQ. We normally miss it as with the twins and hubby working long and late hours it is hard to get there.  It was hot and dusty there, but it was nice to see the sun setting and to walk in cooler but balmy summer night.

I send out my thoughts to all in a fire prone place and hope that you are not affected by fire. To all those that are volunteers that help us fight any fires that are here or in the future I send you thanks for your time and the danger you put yourself in to help the community.

Our aim tomorrow is to get under the sprinkler, have ice blocks, sit under the fan and to maybe go to the pool like everyone else to stay cool. Maybe we will have to go to the pictures to see the latest film to be in air conditioning or at the very least sit at the shopping centre having a drink. I hope you all try and stay cool and safe tomorrow.

As you will see there are reports to say to prepare for the worst.

Send in your comments and why not continue the discussion on our twitter or facebook pages.

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News

A Paper Bag Is not Worth $285!

Mummy to Twins Designer Paper Bag
Mummy to Twins Designer Paper Bag

I am not sure what is worse, a person selling a paper bag for $285 or a person willing to purchase the paper bag. Currently Jill Sander’s a fashion designer who has a paper bag for sale and it is selling for $285, but the weird part is that they have sold out.

I for one would not purchase a paper bag worth so much, and I am wondering why others have rushed to get such an expensive paper bag. Why is it worth so much? What makes it so expensive? Is it the fact that it is a designer paper bag? Could I create my own line of paper bags and make a fortune? These are some of the questions I am entertaining currently. Maybe I should give it a go. Check out my first stab at a designer paper bag, I have to perfect my design but think I might be onto something, will practice and showcase my work soon.

At first I thought how silly of the designer to design a product that clearly is not worth the price tag, but I have changed my mind. I am now finding the consumer the silly part of the equation. If the business thinks there might be a market and wants to have a go to see if the public would bite, as it is a bit of a laugh all until the product becomes popular and it sells. I say why not. It is just weird that consumers don’t see past the designer label and see it is still a paper bag and not worth $285.

Just for those people out there thinking how much does a paper bag cost well I have found out. At Woolworths online shop a pack of 100 paper lunch bags cost: $2.93, so that is a cost of 0.13 for each bag. Even shopping with Bag Mart Australia would still be a bargain compared to Jill Sander’s paper bag. No matter which way you look, this designer paper bag is not worth it.

It is very good marketing by Jill Sander’s and team, how much they have earned from just a paper bag, the mark-up must be huge! It just goes to show that the public will purchase anything if it is marketed in the right way.

Maybe I am just missing the point of this special paper bag, if I am please send me the reason that it is so expensive and a must have item. I personally would just go and get a standard cheap paper bag from the supermarket or the shops.

Do you think this item is worth $285 or is it just designers hoping to sell for an inflated price? I for one think it is inflated and not worth it. Send in your comments.

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News

Weighing in

There has been a call to weigh kids in school to tackle obesity. I for one don’t think this is a good idea. I feel that it would point out kids that are already sensitive to their weight and having issues. These kids don’t need the further pressure of this at school.

I understand it is an issue with kids and adults, however just weighing kids and monitoring this is not going to help.  Changing your lifestyle and what you eat will have much more of an impact, and I am sure that this will be hand in hand with any programme that is developed.

The choices and what is eaten in the home should be looked at also. Kids rely on their parents to pack a healthy lunch and if the choices are not good, then they eat what is given to them. It is a learnt behaviour. Parents need to be tough and say no.

I know it is hard with kids asking for treats and chocolate, but the more you offer the better things like an apple or yoghurt the more the child will know that this is the only options available.  Every now and then the girls have a bit of chocolate or a treat, but it is a sometimes food.

In the article about weighing kids in school it mentions that: “They (the researchers) said it appeared that problems could be avoided by taking measurements privately and confidential results.”

Making sure to weigh kids in private is the ideal, as I would hate to think it would be done in public with all other kids to watch. All you need is a bad group to make fun of someone or a group of kids and the whole idea of this would fall flat.

As stated, I don’t like the idea of this and believe it is an issue for the family to look after. Why do the schools need to infer in the child’s weight now? I know they are trying to help but I feel it is intruding and it is something that is best dealt with as a family unit. Would this information of your child be shared to other schools or universities? And let’s not stop there, would the data be kept for this individual, and impact the life of this person due to the findings?

Would you want your work to weigh you? I am sure you would not. Maybe this is the tip of the ice berg and we will see employers weighing their staff in the future? Will it be an insurance issue to make sure that all employees are a certain weight and fitness? Who knows? Send in your comments.

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News

Period Tax a Joke!

Why are pads and tampons considered a non-essential item? Ask any woman or girl who has to purchase these items and they would not be able to live without them.   Try and think how your life as a woman would be affected without having pads or tampons, I don’t want to even think about this terrible idea.

Clem Bastow wrote in her article, “Why we should be angry about periods” that the government considers these sanitary products non-essential and they require us to pay the GST. I for one think this is just ludicrous and stupid. Women don’t choose to have their periods it just happens; it is not like you can stop it at will.

You have to wonder if this wisdom or decision was created by a man. If women were involved, why wouldn’t they have said, what a silly decision it was and is. Purchasing tampons and pads is expensive and apparently could be cheaper.

Below is a quote from Ms Bastow’s article that sums up the position of the tax on sanitary products:

“The Howard government introduced the GST on July 1st, 2000, and included in the items that would carry the new tax were pads and tampons – “non-essential” products, according to the stellar minds at Howard HQ. Flash forward to 2012, and pads and tampons are still being taxed as a non-essential item. (There is no GST on frangers, in case you were wondering.) I harangued both the Howard and Rudd governments about this nonsense tax and received witless replies from both; I haven’t bothered contacting the Gillard government because I assume the response will be the same. But when a supermarket chain uses removing the “period tax” as an advertising angle – and even that was four years ago – that was also shrugged off by the government; you know something’s still rotten in the state of tampons. Anyone for a bleed-in at Parliament House?”

Should we as women complain in numbers to parliament or local members to have this changed? I think so. Why is it that an essential item is considered non-essential? Is it to make more money off us? Do men or others see purchasing these products as a choice, you get it or you don’t? Well I hate to break it to the decision makers, having periods every month is not a choice it is nature and sanitary products are essential and should not be taxed. Send in your comments.

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News

SAHM V’s Working Mother debate

Why is this still a debate, it does not matter to me if you stay at home as a mother (SAHM), or you are a working mother. You do what is right for you. In the news the other day there was an article ”Curse of the mummy wars” by Jessica Irvine on the Sydney Morning Herald .

Some people need to work to keep the house and their way of life, and these mothers would very much like to spend more time with their young children. Understand and that is hard as well. I am in the other situation, where I would love to work a bit part time but it is hard to impossible.

We are lucky that I can stay home with the kids; however more money would be a great thing at the moment, as we like a lot of people are in financial stress. It is hard to work, due to living further out from the city, having no family to help and the costs of childcare. If I was to get a job, it might prove difficult to keep as what do I do during school holidays or if the kids or one gets sick?  Currently I need to do something at home that fits in with my current situation as a stay at home mother to the twins.

The girls and I a few years ago now. We were at Melrose Park to see a man jump out of plane for the fly over. This was on the 25th of May 2013.
The girls and I a few years ago now. We were at Melrose Park to see a man jump out of plane for the fly over. This was on the 25th of May 2013.

 

Not only have I caught myself drooling over jobs, it makes me miss the whole idea of work. Currently the workplace would be an escape and a way to have my individually noticed, skills respected and being taken for more than just a wife and mother. I am sure that others feel the same way; however I know my time will come, but there are times I am frustrated and feel annoyed about not doing more for us and especially me.

People must think being a stay at home mother is all relaxing and having fun with the kids. Yes there is a bit of that, but it is a really hard job. This is a job that you don’t get time out, help, sick days, or holidays. It makes me think that all my old jobs were dead easy now.

In the article by Jessica Irvine, Ann Rommey the wife of presidential candidate Mitt Rommey, opened a twitter account to answer critics about her choice to stay at home to look after their children.  Do you feel that you are always justifying your choice as a stay at home mother? I don’t care it is what we have done and it is working for us. If I decided to go to work, it would break us even more financially, as what do I do with the kids? How do I find the money to pay for their care? Who will pick them up and look after them after school? It boils down to what is the better option for your family. No one else needs to enter the debate.

It is sad that the value we have on women is more for paid work compared to raising the next generation. Why is the female of the species belittled for doing what works for her family?  In my instance we would have to find money so that I could work. Why would you do it if the money you earn is not going to pay for everything? Cheaper and better off to stay at home and care for the kids.

In the article it states that men traditionally have earned more than women, and this is in my view still happens. I for one have more qualifications than my husband but did not earn as much as him in the corporate world. It made sense for us to keep the higher salary earner in the workforce. However that said, I am hoping that my finished master’s degree in project management will help me get the next job with of course a decent wage.  Some women do out earn men, and I hope that one day that will be me. However no matter what way it goes, I think the higher wage earner is the better choice. Just my opinion, but of course you can both work which is great too.

What are your thoughts on the debate of SAHM (Stay At Home Mothers) or Working Mother? Why are we still having this discussion? I don’t see the need to worry, it is not my business what you or your family do, and it is up to you. You will work it out, not me or the media. Send in your comments.

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News Uncategorised

SAHM V's Working Mother debate

Why is this still a debate, it does not matter to me if you stay at home as a mother (SAHM), or you are a working mother. You do what is right for you. In the news the other day there was an article ”Curse of the mummy wars” by Jessica Irvine on the Sydney Morning Herald .

Some people need to work to keep the house and their way of life, and these mothers would very much like to spend more time with their young children. Understand and that is hard as well. I am in the other situation, where I would love to work a bit part time but it is hard to impossible.

We are lucky that I can stay home with the kids; however more money would be a great thing at the moment, as we like a lot of people are in financial stress. It is hard to work, due to living further out from the city, having no family to help and the costs of childcare. If I was to get a job, it might prove difficult to keep as what do I do during school holidays or if the kids or one gets sick?  Currently I need to do something at home that fits in with my current situation as a stay at home mother to the twins.

Not only have I caught myself drooling over jobs, it makes me miss the whole idea of work. Currently the workplace would be an escape and a way to have my individually noticed, skills respected and being taken for more than just a wife and mother. I am sure that others feel the same way; however I know my time will come, but there are times I am frustrated and feel annoyed about not doing more for us and especially me.

People must think being a stay at home mother is all relaxing and having fun with the kids. Yes there is a bit of that, but it is a really hard job. This is a job that you don’t get time out, help, sick days, or holidays. It makes me think that all my old jobs were dead easy now.

In the article by Jessica Irvine, Ann Rommey the wife of presidential candidate Mitt Rommey, opened a twitter account to answer critics about her choice to stay at home to look after their children.  Do you feel that you are always justifying your choice as a stay at home mother? I don’t care it is what we have done and it is working for us. If I decided to go to work, it would break us even more financially, as what do I do with the kids? How do I find the money to pay for their care? Who will pick them up and look after them after school? It boils down to what is the better option for your family. No one else needs to enter the debate.

It is sad that the value we have on women is more for paid work compared to raising the next generation. Why is the female of the species belittled for doing what works for her family?  In my instance we would have to find money so that I could work. Why would you do it if the money you earn is not going to pay for everything? Cheaper and better off to stay at home and care for the kids.

In the article it states that men traditionally have earned more than women, and this is in my view still happens. I for one have more qualifications than my husband but did not earn as much as him in the corporate world. It made sense for us to keep the higher salary earner in the workforce. However that said, I am hoping that my finished master’s degree in project management will help me get the next job with of course a decent wage.  Some women do out earn men, and I hope that one day that will be me. However no matter what way it goes, I think the higher wage earner is the better choice. Just my opinion, but of course you can both work which is great too.

What are your thoughts on the debate of SAHM (Stay At Home Mothers) or Working Mother? Why are we still having this discussion? I don’t see the need to worry, it is not my business what you or your family do, and it is up to you. You will work it out, not me or the media. Send in your comments.

 

Categories
News

Drinking when pregnant?

Glass of Red Wine
Glass of Red Wine

When I was pregnant, I did not drink alcohol. I knew that some people said a drink here or there will not matter. I was one of those women who had waited to have kids and wanted to ensure all went well. I know things could have still gone wrong in many ways, however decided that I would give up alcohol as it is something that I could control.

According to DrinkWise Australia, there is no known level that is safe to the child. The site states that the more you drink (binge drinking especially) can be harmful to the baby. This was the same story I got at the doctors and was advised to not drink, so I didn’t.  However I can understand women who might have the odd glass of wine, or say a shandy or watered down alcohol beverage. These women might not be binge drinkers but it is their right to order a drink as long as it is in moderation, like with everyone else.   I personally would not drink, but that is my view.

In the news today, there was an article titled, “I can’t serve you. You’re pregnant”, in the Sydney Morning Herald – The story is about a woman who is pregnant and asks for an alcohol drink and was refused, due to her being pregnant. This occurred in California, so not sure if the rules are different there, and from the article I don’t think so. Makes me wonder if this has occurred in Australia? –  If it has let us know.

Refusing service due to being pregnant is an interesting one; will this become the way in the future? I just think it is discrimination, what about you? What about soft cheeses? Will I not be able to have a salad with my favourite cheese just in case it is dangerous?  Could the same be said for spicy chili dishes? If the spicy chili meals were banned, I would have been in deep trouble. I had many meals with dumplings with hot and spicy sauce. YUM would not mind some dumplings now.

It is interesting that you do get such conflicting advice. Some doctors say a drink here or there is fine and others say NO, don’t drink anything alcoholic!

Having it out with a hungry and angry pregnant woman might not be the way to go. But all joking aside, this is a serious issue, why can a complete stranger dictate what you eat/drink.  What are your thoughts? Did you abstain from alcohol when pregnant or did you have a glass of wine every now and then? Send in your comments.

Categories
3 years and beyond

Dressing up or down?

I think that the term “dressing like a wife” is rather annoying. Is there a term for dressing like a girlfriend, fiancée, and so on? Kate Moss has said of her husband, “He would go mental if I started dressing like a wife! He likes me when I’m a rock n roll kind of a girl.”  I do agree dressing up and looking good is great; however it is a bit hard when your circumstances change.

I used to love to dress up all the time. When I was working I wore snazzy business clothes, high heels, makeup, and hair up and done up all the time. Now that I have kids and I am a stay at home mother to the twins, I don’t dress up so much. Why wear your fancy outfit to playgroup to have paint on it?  Maybe other mothers don’t care, however I would like to save my better outfits for going somewhere special and fancy.

Currently I am in the situation of having no money to extend my wardrobe to include some nicer pieces for everyday wear. I know I have to go through my wardrobe and remove some clothes that I don’t wear anymore; this might create more room for new pieces when I can get them. I do look at lovely clothes/shoes and think gosh that would be great for the office or for work. However my job is at home with the kids, so not practical. There might be an in-between casual style that I can adopt for home and mummy things. I would like to, however it again is the cost. Do you find this as well?

I also have another issue; I fit into some pants and don’t fit into others. The pants I fit into are baggy and loose, basically needing a belt to keep them up. However wearing the other size it is a bit tight around the waist so I wear the other baggier pants. I know the look is not ideal, but it is comfortable and they fit to a certain extent. I am in the process of trying to lose weight and tone up. I was hoping to be in better state so far but it is always finding the  time and fitting it all in. I just need to get more focused and stick with getting up early to ensure that mummy gets her time and much needed exercise. Go the Wii Fit.

I do understand that Kate Moss is saying that if you look good you feel good; also if you take better care of your appearance your partner will like it also. I do agree with this. It is not like I don’t want to.  Most of the time in my current situation, it is not practical to dress up as I am mostly at home.  I don’t want to end up dressed to the nines like those stars on day time soap operas.

It is also easier for the likes of Kate Moss to maintain her style, she has the help to have kids looked after, trainers to help with her weight loss, and the money to purchase clothes or the celebrity to be given clothes to showcase.  Real mothers don’t have this at their disposal, and if I did, you bet I would be looking better and be more relaxed than I currently am.

What are your thoughts? Has your dress/style changed since becoming a mum? Is it only when you are doing kid things that you don’t dress up? Do you dress up for special events and if so has that changed since you are a mother?  What has changed for me is what I can fit into, but maybe that is just me?  I do want to be a yummy mummy but think it is harder than it sounds. Send in your comments.

Categories
3 years and beyond

Costs of childcare

I don’t know about you but it is expensive to put kids into care.  Having two kids at once does make it more expensive, you have to double everything. In the news today there was a lady saying that she pays over $100 a day for child care (I would say for the cost she is in the city), I am assuming that is for one child. I would say that would need to be doubled for two kids.

Her theory of going back to work is a good one; she is trying to keep current in her chosen field. The more years you are out of the workforce the harder it is to get the next job.  I do agree with her, although I don’t want to go through all the stress and headache of putting kids into care to do a job that I do love, to not earn any money for it. With the rate of say $100 per day for one child it would not be a viable choice for me at all.

Here are some articles about childcare:

I know child care workers are underpaid and not appreciated enough. My girls bloomed with the two years they went to child care; however we could only manage to send them for one day a week. This one day cost us nearly $100 for just the day for both the girls. I think the workers need to get paid more; however I don’t see how this increase won’t flow onto parents.  The issue I have with child care and parents especially mothers returning to the workforce is the cost and the issues around it. The government is losing out on a great number of skilled workers who are in the same boat as myself, would like to do a part time role or say part time in the office and the rest from home. However due to non-flexible arrangements, no family support, high child care costs, and probably other things I have not listed, working is out of the question while kids are young.

Is it practical for you to go back to work?  I for one would love the change and chance to shine again in the corporate world; however it is not possible for the major reason of childcare costs, family support, and also the fact that I would like to stay home until the kids are at least at school. Even when they are at school, as the primary care giver you only have the window of school hours barring any sickness, and of course you have to drop tools when school holidays roll around.

Now the kids are in pre-school that is a cost and it is as stated times two, adding child care into the mix is not possible for us at the moment. I for one don’t understand how women and some fathers do it.  How do you work for the sole purpose of paying the child care centre? What do you do if the money you make is not enough for the bills for the centre? How does factoring in the travel , clothes, food and all the extras for the job help with the fact that child care costs are deducted from your salary?  If I got a job in the city, I would have to hire a nanny or carer to mind kids before school and after, to drop and pick up from school and to also to wait until I got home after work. This would add to our costs, especially with pre-school and commuting to the city.

I do think it is great women are doing work as well, and would like to know how you do it all.  I find it difficult with two kids and not working in a paid job.  Tonight, on the news there was some talk that the government  will help with the costs for child care workers, I do agree this would help, although if and when it will happen is another thing entirely. It is sad that we cannot pay them more and have reasonable fees that will allow parents to go to work and to have kids in care. Send in your comments on how you manage to find the cash for child care and manage with a part time/full time job.

Let us know your thoughts. Why not continue the discussion on our Facebook and Twitter pages.

 

Categories
3 years and beyond

Hate housework? Hypnosis might help

I read today about a woman who loves cleaning. I wish I was one; I cannot stand housework, cleaning or organising the house. For me is very much a chore.  Don’t get me wrong, I love a tidy and organised house.

However, the time, work and trouble that it takes, is never maintained in this household. We, the husband and I, seem to clean in spurts especially if we are having guests.

Housework is a necessity and I do agree that regardless of enjoying it or hating it, it is a task that needs to happen. With that philosophy, it is hard to be overjoyed at the prospect of cleaning the house, especially on your own with kids in toe as well.

I always have other things that I want to do or need doing and then the housework seems to come last. Cleaning does not hold the interest than say, watching a show, going out, or even doing my university work done.

Hypnosis for housework
Hypnosis for housework

Today my goal is to tidy the main areas, living room, dining room, hallway, kids room, our bedroom, and bathroom/toilets. If I don’t get it done today or tonight will do the rest tomorrow morning, it all needs to be tidy as we are having guests. These guests are good friends who are minding the girls for the day and part of the evening. Mummy and daddy are off to a good friend’s birthday and both of us are looking forward to the time alone with friends, and especially without kids. Oh, the simple joys of going out to catch up with friends. I cannot wait.

The girls have had something to eat, and I have just put them to down for their compulsory rest time. Yes, I have now learnt not to call it sleep time. If I call it sleep time I get this yelled at me, “Mummy we are not tired!” or “I AM NOT TIRED!!!!” so now it is rest time.

Why could I have got the gene that makes me want to clean? Is it how your mother dealt with housework and this has rubbed off on you? Or is it just the fact that it is an obsessive issue with being clean and tidy. I have even thought that being put under hypnosis to plant the seed to make me want to clean. This thought of hypnosis was only a silly thought after seeing a sign, however today I thought why not see if this has already happened (damn that idea is taken).  Yes others have thought of it already; see below for links hypnosis for housework:

If you hate housework and have the money, then hiring a housekeeper/cleaner might be the answer. Why argue over the housework if you can have it outsourced.

Having the task done by someone else is a good idea, as many couples don’t have a lot of downtime.

If you had a choice would you rather use your spare time for chores, or some fun and relaxation? I know this is not for all, but if you can afford it, why not?

Now off to make a cuppa tea, and get started on the tidying – I don’t have a cleaner or have had any hypnosis, I am doing it the old fashioned way.

Do you enjoy housework? If you do enjoy cleaning, what is the fun part for you?

Send in your comments on how you make cleaning fun.

 

 

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Categories
3 years and beyond Family

The dangers of the 2nd of April

The 2nd of April according to Facebook is the day people are breaking up, sad but true.  A data analysis was conducted over the year 2010- 2011 and it found more changes to everyone’s relationship status.  “April 2nd was the year’s most extreme day in the other direction, with 11% more break-ups than new relationships.” (Facebook, 2012)

I for one don’t understand why the 2nd of April is such a dangerous time for relationships. Do you know or have an idea?

In Andrea Black’s article, “Fifteen ways to leave your lover” she wonders “How could so many April Fools jokes go awry?”  Maybe this is the answer, bad jokes. If you wish to keep your lover/partner/girlfriend/husband/wife, don’t participate in April Fools jokes.

Now it is the 3rd of April here in Australia, I have made it unscathed by this weird phenomenon. The day must have magic powers or dark forces attached to the date. Not sure exactly, just very interesting that one day has proven such a bad day for relationships.

Wonder what other days we should avoid?  Maybe this skill from Facebook can be used for good, can we find out what days we are more likely to win at lotto? Get a pay rise at work? Any other good luck and feel good things would be nice too.

Let me know if you were okay from the negatives from the 2nd of April. Hope you are all okay and still with your special someone. Send in your comments.

Categories
3 years and beyond Pre-School

First day at Pre-School

Julia and Lillian - First Day of Pre-School
Julia and Lillian - First Day of Pre-School

The first day at pre-school went really well, although the girls were  bit shy when we got there, hearing about the slippery dip made the girls skip and run out to play without a thought to us.  We then made our leave quickly.  I was a bit sad but also happy that they are at this stage to go to school to learn more. I am also to even happier to getting some time off without the kids, it is a god sent.

This morning it was blue skies, sun and wonderful summer heat. This nice weather was a false alarm and was about to change to our big surprise. We ended up having a huge thunder storm that drenched us in so much water and hail. It was just so intense. The storm lasted over an hour and it seemed to be getting heavier and harder throughout the storm. James was home as he wanted to be here for the girls first day of pre-school was helping me run around the house to see if we were really water tight, and all was o.k. We seemed o.k, but we just watched in amazement at how the hail was failing and how quickly the water was flowing down the street and our driveway.

People here have put out their junk for council clean up and a chair opposite was floating down the street. We cringed as we both thought that it was going to slide into on coming traffic. This was not something we could witness, however it was what we imagined might happen. Also would the driver or the onlooker think, where did the person of the chair go?

Just to give you an idea of how intense the storm was, here are some articles of what happened today. The sports centre in Katoomba has had roof damage and water damage, other stores and houses have damage as well, “Patrons evacuated after roof collapse“, “Thunderstorms hit Blue Mountains“,  and “Blue Mountains lashed by heavy hail“.

I was thinking of how the girls were doing all day, and also thinking of what I could get done in the time I had to myself. I must say. Not much got done. I tidied the kitchen but now it is a mess again, so will do it again tomorrow. I managed to put fresh sheets on all beds, so that is a good thing and nice. However there are a lot more things to do. The plan is to get the place in order to allow myself to do what I want to do with the days the girls are at pre-school. This running around like a mad woman all days that I have off is not going to happen this year. I promise myself I will try and get organised to get things done. I know easier said than done. It will get better once I get some time to get rooms done and sorted. This way it will feel like things are actually happening and there is actual action. Although I do, do things, after cleaning, tidying, playing with kids and then looking at the house, you think it is in the same or worse state than before. I am sure you have all been there.

Daddy's necklace by Lillian
Daddy's necklace by Lillian

Oh well, after the storm and the darkness went more sunshine came out. Cruel weather, just after I had taken all the clothes off the line, yet again. This change was most welcome as we had to go and collect the girls. We made it and were in fact early, which was nice. We waited with the other parents for the doors to open at the end of class. Once the doors opened, the girls saw daddy and I waiting for them. They yelled,”Daddy” and raced over to hug him. He was then told by Lillian that she had made a necklace for him and he must wear it. She was trying to find it in the cardboard folder that had her name on it. All the kids have one and they are stored at the front of the school so that parents can see what the child has been doing and take artwork home but leave the folder at the school. I opened the folder to find that the teacher had put the necklace in her folder. Julia told me that she did not make one. Lillian then put it on daddy. He wore it for the rest of the day.

The girls told us that they painted, played on the slippery dip and slid down on their bellies, met a girl called Mia, and had a great day, and of course Lillian made daddy a necklace, it is a pasta necklace with the end being a pasta whistle. All very clever, and all her design she told me.

Both girls are looking forward to going back tomorrow and I am pleased that they had such a great time and want to go back. Now tomorrow will be action day for me and so will Wednesday. At least it will be well spent organising. I did want to go to aqua aerobics on Wednesday but that is at the aquatic centre that has roof damage from today’s storm, so I guess that is off limits until fixed.  Now off to organise the girls lunch boxes for tomorrow.

How do you manage the time when you child is in care/school do you run around like a mad person trying to get all things done? Is it something that you cherish and the hell with housework? Do you make a comprise and do one room and then give yourself a break? Any ideas or techniques please send my way. This way we can all learn and help each other.