Tag: stay at home mommy

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SAHM V’s Working Mother debate

Why is this still a debate, it does not matter to me if you stay at home as a mother (SAHM), or you are a working mother. You do what is right for you. In the news the other day there was an article ”Curse of the mummy wars” by Jessica Irvine on the Sydney Morning Herald .

Some people need to work to keep the house and their way of life, and these mothers would very much like to spend more time with their young children. Understand and that is hard as well. I am in the other situation, where I would love to work a bit part time but it is hard to impossible.

We are lucky that I can stay home with the kids; however more money would be a great thing at the moment, as we like a lot of people are in financial stress. It is hard to work, due to living further out from the city, having no family to help and the costs of childcare. If I was to get a job, it might prove difficult to keep as what do I do during school holidays or if the kids or one gets sick?  Currently I need to do something at home that fits in with my current situation as a stay at home mother to the twins.

The girls and I a few years ago now. We were at Melrose Park to see a man jump out of plane for the fly over. This was on the 25th of May 2013.
The girls and I a few years ago now. We were at Melrose Park to see a man jump out of plane for the fly over. This was on the 25th of May 2013.

 

Not only have I caught myself drooling over jobs, it makes me miss the whole idea of work. Currently the workplace would be an escape and a way to have my individually noticed, skills respected and being taken for more than just a wife and mother. I am sure that others feel the same way; however I know my time will come, but there are times I am frustrated and feel annoyed about not doing more for us and especially me.

People must think being a stay at home mother is all relaxing and having fun with the kids. Yes there is a bit of that, but it is a really hard job. This is a job that you don’t get time out, help, sick days, or holidays. It makes me think that all my old jobs were dead easy now.

In the article by Jessica Irvine, Ann Rommey the wife of presidential candidate Mitt Rommey, opened a twitter account to answer critics about her choice to stay at home to look after their children.  Do you feel that you are always justifying your choice as a stay at home mother? I don’t care it is what we have done and it is working for us. If I decided to go to work, it would break us even more financially, as what do I do with the kids? How do I find the money to pay for their care? Who will pick them up and look after them after school? It boils down to what is the better option for your family. No one else needs to enter the debate.

It is sad that the value we have on women is more for paid work compared to raising the next generation. Why is the female of the species belittled for doing what works for her family?  In my instance we would have to find money so that I could work. Why would you do it if the money you earn is not going to pay for everything? Cheaper and better off to stay at home and care for the kids.

In the article it states that men traditionally have earned more than women, and this is in my view still happens. I for one have more qualifications than my husband but did not earn as much as him in the corporate world. It made sense for us to keep the higher salary earner in the workforce. However that said, I am hoping that my finished master’s degree in project management will help me get the next job with of course a decent wage.  Some women do out earn men, and I hope that one day that will be me. However no matter what way it goes, I think the higher wage earner is the better choice. Just my opinion, but of course you can both work which is great too.

What are your thoughts on the debate of SAHM (Stay At Home Mothers) or Working Mother? Why are we still having this discussion? I don’t see the need to worry, it is not my business what you or your family do, and it is up to you. You will work it out, not me or the media. Send in your comments.

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News Uncategorised

SAHM V's Working Mother debate

Why is this still a debate, it does not matter to me if you stay at home as a mother (SAHM), or you are a working mother. You do what is right for you. In the news the other day there was an article ”Curse of the mummy wars” by Jessica Irvine on the Sydney Morning Herald .

Some people need to work to keep the house and their way of life, and these mothers would very much like to spend more time with their young children. Understand and that is hard as well. I am in the other situation, where I would love to work a bit part time but it is hard to impossible.

We are lucky that I can stay home with the kids; however more money would be a great thing at the moment, as we like a lot of people are in financial stress. It is hard to work, due to living further out from the city, having no family to help and the costs of childcare. If I was to get a job, it might prove difficult to keep as what do I do during school holidays or if the kids or one gets sick?  Currently I need to do something at home that fits in with my current situation as a stay at home mother to the twins.

Not only have I caught myself drooling over jobs, it makes me miss the whole idea of work. Currently the workplace would be an escape and a way to have my individually noticed, skills respected and being taken for more than just a wife and mother. I am sure that others feel the same way; however I know my time will come, but there are times I am frustrated and feel annoyed about not doing more for us and especially me.

People must think being a stay at home mother is all relaxing and having fun with the kids. Yes there is a bit of that, but it is a really hard job. This is a job that you don’t get time out, help, sick days, or holidays. It makes me think that all my old jobs were dead easy now.

In the article by Jessica Irvine, Ann Rommey the wife of presidential candidate Mitt Rommey, opened a twitter account to answer critics about her choice to stay at home to look after their children.  Do you feel that you are always justifying your choice as a stay at home mother? I don’t care it is what we have done and it is working for us. If I decided to go to work, it would break us even more financially, as what do I do with the kids? How do I find the money to pay for their care? Who will pick them up and look after them after school? It boils down to what is the better option for your family. No one else needs to enter the debate.

It is sad that the value we have on women is more for paid work compared to raising the next generation. Why is the female of the species belittled for doing what works for her family?  In my instance we would have to find money so that I could work. Why would you do it if the money you earn is not going to pay for everything? Cheaper and better off to stay at home and care for the kids.

In the article it states that men traditionally have earned more than women, and this is in my view still happens. I for one have more qualifications than my husband but did not earn as much as him in the corporate world. It made sense for us to keep the higher salary earner in the workforce. However that said, I am hoping that my finished master’s degree in project management will help me get the next job with of course a decent wage.  Some women do out earn men, and I hope that one day that will be me. However no matter what way it goes, I think the higher wage earner is the better choice. Just my opinion, but of course you can both work which is great too.

What are your thoughts on the debate of SAHM (Stay At Home Mothers) or Working Mother? Why are we still having this discussion? I don’t see the need to worry, it is not my business what you or your family do, and it is up to you. You will work it out, not me or the media. Send in your comments.

 

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3 years and beyond

Dressing up or down?

I think that the term “dressing like a wife” is rather annoying. Is there a term for dressing like a girlfriend, fiancée, and so on? Kate Moss has said of her husband, “He would go mental if I started dressing like a wife! He likes me when I’m a rock n roll kind of a girl.”  I do agree dressing up and looking good is great; however it is a bit hard when your circumstances change.

I used to love to dress up all the time. When I was working I wore snazzy business clothes, high heels, makeup, and hair up and done up all the time. Now that I have kids and I am a stay at home mother to the twins, I don’t dress up so much. Why wear your fancy outfit to playgroup to have paint on it?  Maybe other mothers don’t care, however I would like to save my better outfits for going somewhere special and fancy.

Currently I am in the situation of having no money to extend my wardrobe to include some nicer pieces for everyday wear. I know I have to go through my wardrobe and remove some clothes that I don’t wear anymore; this might create more room for new pieces when I can get them. I do look at lovely clothes/shoes and think gosh that would be great for the office or for work. However my job is at home with the kids, so not practical. There might be an in-between casual style that I can adopt for home and mummy things. I would like to, however it again is the cost. Do you find this as well?

I also have another issue; I fit into some pants and don’t fit into others. The pants I fit into are baggy and loose, basically needing a belt to keep them up. However wearing the other size it is a bit tight around the waist so I wear the other baggier pants. I know the look is not ideal, but it is comfortable and they fit to a certain extent. I am in the process of trying to lose weight and tone up. I was hoping to be in better state so far but it is always finding the  time and fitting it all in. I just need to get more focused and stick with getting up early to ensure that mummy gets her time and much needed exercise. Go the Wii Fit.

I do understand that Kate Moss is saying that if you look good you feel good; also if you take better care of your appearance your partner will like it also. I do agree with this. It is not like I don’t want to.  Most of the time in my current situation, it is not practical to dress up as I am mostly at home.  I don’t want to end up dressed to the nines like those stars on day time soap operas.

It is also easier for the likes of Kate Moss to maintain her style, she has the help to have kids looked after, trainers to help with her weight loss, and the money to purchase clothes or the celebrity to be given clothes to showcase.  Real mothers don’t have this at their disposal, and if I did, you bet I would be looking better and be more relaxed than I currently am.

What are your thoughts? Has your dress/style changed since becoming a mum? Is it only when you are doing kid things that you don’t dress up? Do you dress up for special events and if so has that changed since you are a mother?  What has changed for me is what I can fit into, but maybe that is just me?  I do want to be a yummy mummy but think it is harder than it sounds. Send in your comments.

Categories
3 years and beyond

Wisdom from a chipmunk’s film

In the Alvin and chipmunks film from 2007, there is a line that sums up, how I think most mothers feel, well maybe not all the time but every now and then.

Dave said, “I have no job, no career, and my house is always a mess”.

Messy House. Oh how I wish this would be magically cleaned up!
Messy House. Oh how I wish this would be magically cleaned up!

This sums up my world and life currently, and I felt his sense of annoyance at a situation which mostly is out of your control.  By saying out of control, I mean that your life before kids was a little more organised, and you could get much more done in the time available. Now with kids, you have to be flexible, get not a lot done, factoring in other people all the time is a tiring job and no one thanks you for this role.

If motherhood was a job, I would be on target; I would have met my KPI’s. My monthly check with my manager would see that I might get a pay rise, but motherhood is nothing like the real world of work.  There are no benefits for hitting any target, no applause, no well-done you!!

No one seems to notice if you change the sheets on the bed, or clean a room, I feel that is just annoying as you go out of your way to tidy up and sort things out and the little things are never mentioned. Why cannot the husband/partner, say, “Gosh, the room looks good.” And, “Thanks, I love fresh sheets”. Maybe a hug and a kiss, or flowers from the garden, I think I am feeling under appreciated.

Just a thought; why can’t the kid’s milestones be linked with an incentive for the primary care giver, mother/father.   If the kid hits the milestone you get a gift, for example a gift card so you can go shopping, and buy something for you.  Maybe it can be an hour or so of babysitting? I know this is far-fetched and will never happen due to costs, but wouldn’t this be a nice idea?

So whenever I hear that line in the chipmunk’s film, I understand entirely how Dave feels.  Do you feel like Dave? Have you found words of wisdom in a kid’s film? If so let us know what film and the line to watch out for? Send in your comments.