Why is it that the wife or female partner seems to organise everything for Christmas.
Some of the things that are left to me are:
Planning and buying Christmas Presents
Cleaning and tidying the house
Organising the kids
Wrapping the presents
Mailing the presents
Buying and cooking the food
Making the food
Let’s hope that my presents look this nice once wrapped up. I’m sure no one will care once they rip off the paper to get to the present.
My family only buy for the kids. The adults have everything they need or want, and I suppose if someone really needs something they either buy it themselves or might get it as a gift from others at a later stage.
Since my family is sorted and I just need to get kids presents then this leaves hubby’s family.
Hubby’s family buy for everyone which is nice, but if you are me and have limited time and really not sure what to get people it is hard indeed.
There are only so many times you can get someone a cup or another item that will get pushed to the back of the cupboard, and possibly never used.
I like to get people something different, interesting gifts that they would not get for themselves. I also love to buy things that people will use, want and need.
Buying people gifts that they will indeed need and use is hard when you are not sure what they have or really would like for Christmas.
I tried to employ a tactic this year to make hubby get responsible for his families present buying. He used the excuse that he is busy with work and therefore doesn’t have any time to do this shopping. He also used the other angle of not knowing what to purchase.
Geeez like I am a present seer and can know exactly what is in people’s brains. Maybe I am. Maybe I have an inner gift or special skill that I am unaware of.
One approach I used was to say that since hubby was near a big shopping centre he could go to Thursday late night shopping. Shop alone and without kids, think about what to get and then secretly bring it all back. This I thought would alleviate stress and make things easier on both of us.
He, of course, did not like this idea….. typical I thought.
I still don’t see why running around like a mad person to get things for everyone is all up to me!
Due to not getting the time to touch base of what I had already purchased and to think of what items we give to what family member it is hard to know what we still need to purchase.
Today I managed to get hubby to see all the things I have already got and we did a stocktake of items we still need to get.
Due to hubby not willing to do the shopping and the fact that Christmas is nearly here, I said the following:
“If you are not willing to go and get the shopping for your family, and now the kids are on holiday it makes it harder for me. I’m not taking the kids shopping with me to finalise the present shopping. I’ll go on Saturday and do it on my own. You mind the kids and I will have the day to get it done”
So I have spent a day by myself at the shops mostly trying to get the missing presents we needed.
I took a break from shopping to have some food and a much-needed coffee. Yummy!
Being out by myself today is a good outcome of having to do the present shopping. I get a well-deserved break. Quiet time and can finally enter shops without telling kids to not touch things and be always on alert.
It is a very hot day and I have finally found a place that is air-conditioned to have a cool drink and a snack before I get the final present and then food for the house.
I think next year I will go on strike and hubby can organise everything.
Being in a paid job is not the only criteria for being busy and not having time to get things done. I have three kids, until recently they were in school and due to the end of the year, there were functions to be at which meant I had to be at the school until about 11am. This then meant that I had less than an hour to get something done for me and then to be back at school for 2.55pm.
Now kids are on holiday I cannot get things done without taking them with me. The baby will still be going to care so that is a plus and I’m grateful for that.
I too have a job (I blog) and have deadlines and commitments. It is a hard juggle and like any working mum would tell you it is busy.
Have you had the chat to your boyfriend/husband or partner about why it seems like it is all up to you? Have you put your hands in the air and declared that you are on strike?
I think a strike is needed next year.
I am so tired and there still more to do:
Cleaning the house
Removing clutter
Wrapping presents
And possibly much more than I have forgotten about now.
Does this happen at your house?
You are the one that organises everything for everybody? I am exhausted and it is not Christmas yet.
Or do you share the Christmas organsiation at your place? Let us know how it works?
I am glad that I have had some time alone but could have lived without racing around getting last minute gifts.
Originally posted 17 December 2017
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During the last few years, there have been many articles talking about burnout. You could be burnt out due to your job, family, kids, and other commitments that you have in your life.
It could be as simple as you are exhausted from constantly working, the years you have homeschooled the kids and tried to keep the house and your family’s lives going when there were no jobs and you are fast running out of money and stressing out about how you will all survive. Due to all this, you have no cash to go away, no cash to do anything for you, and the time that you had available from work has been depleted due to kids, being sick with covid, and other issues.
No wonder you and I are over everything, annoyed at having to keep all the balls in the air and never able to get a break. No wonder we are all on the verge of burnout or going through it currently.
Basically, a 3-month vacation on an island would be the thing to help me finally relax and reset, what about you?
What is a ‘To Don’t’ List?
I read online today about making ‘to don’t’ lists, instead of a to-do list you make a list of things you don’t want to do ever again! The idea is to free yourself from things you hate, don’t want to do, or feel that the things you have been doing are draining you or taking away from what you really want to be doing. Basically, a list to learn to embrace saying no and work on what you would like to do.
I have heard of pushing back and saying no, as well as not feeling bad about saying no. However, I have not heard of a ‘to-don’t’ list.
Personally, I have a few things to add to my don’t do list. What about you? What would you want to put on your don’t do list?
What are the things that will make my ‘to don’t’ list
Just so you know you cannot put all things on the list that you don’t want to do. Yep, I wish I could. However, there are certain things that need to still be done, like cooking, cleaning, the laundry, all things to do with the kids, and loads more.
Even though you cannot put all the items that you dread on your don’t ever do list there are some things that you can put a stop to. Once you decide not to do certain things you will be happier, freer and allow you to win back some of your time.
So with that in mind here are some of mine:
Say no work that doesn’t progress my goals
Don’t let everyone else have free time and not me – give myself time out to do things for me
Block out your time at work to spend some time doing online courses to improve my work life
Say no to organising things for others when they don’t do the return for you.
Are you now excited to make your own ‘to don’t’ list?
Note: This is a long story about me losing something important and thinking it was something else entirely, as well as my first thought that it was a criminal gang involved. I blame all the true crime podcasts I have been listening to (Morbid especially – I love it so it is not a negative about the show, just that I am now thinking there is crime everywhere!) The story has a few swear words in it and I was rather annoyed and upset about the situation.
Having fun at Darling Harbour
A while ago I took my little boy to the city for a day out. I drove into the city as the last time my little boy and I ventured out we took public transport everywhere, and this made him very tired. I thought why not make things easier by being able to just get in the car and drive home.
We had a good trip in and then I thought I was at the parking station that I had pre-paid for. I approached the car park and then soon realised that it was the wrong one due to the height of the garage, this was a place that my car cannot fit so I looked on Google and it appeared that the car park I needed was in fact around the corner.
I punched in the details into the GPS and then was on my way. I am sure that my GPS said that I had arrived at my destination and the car park was able to let me in for the height of my car and my credit card allowed me to enter (So I thought I was in the right place).
There was an office on the left, access to the car park was blocked off and two ladies approached me and said that it is valet parking and that they will park my car. I felt a little uncomfortable, but I do know with many car parks in Sydney that they have valet parking due to the difficult spaces available and to fit more cars in. My six-year-old and I got our things and got what we needed, handed the keys to the valet parker, and went on our city adventure.
As you might imagine my six-year-old was non-stop chatting to me and if that wasn’t happening, he was not listing to instructions and doing as he was told. I had to keep on negotiating and trying to listen to him and make sure we were on our way to our first stop in the city, lunch at Darling Harbour.
At Pontoon Bar at Darling Harbour having lunch – Cheese and Vegemite Pizza
I don’t know about you but when you have a kid who is super excited and madly chatting, as well as all the other things in your head you are not fully concentrating on everything. Sad but true.
We managed to make it to our booking for lunch 15 minutes earlier, we sat down and relaxed, ordered dinner, and had some drinks waiting for our food. I did think that my little person would eat his cheese and vegemite pizza, but he had a few slices and then announced it tasted like pasta. Oh well, no more pizza for him. My burger was yummy and filled me up for the remainder of the day and as you will soon find out I wasn’t hungry for the rest of the day.
Darling Harbour, Sydney.
After our food, we went off to the Darling Harbour playground to burn off some energy and to fill in time until we could go to our other activity. We then made our way to Dymocks to see Grug for Book week. Once arriving at the bookshop, I realised we were early, we busied ourselves looking at the books and my little boy was convincing me to buy many things in the shop that we really don’t need.
On the flying foxHaving fun on the HUGE Slippery Dip
Grug finally arrived and we met him, although I was the only one that got a picture with the famous star of his own books.
We left the bookshop and walked through the Strand Arcade, this is where my six-year-old decided he needed a necklace, as he saw some in a very expensive shop. He wasn’t understanding that purchasing these necklaces would mean spending thousands if not hundreds of dollars. To allow this suddenly necklace wanting child to get something that wouldn’t break the bank I took him to Paddy’s markets and he was thrilled at his new sparkly purchase.
The multi-coloured necklace that I got my little boy
My little boy was very tired by this stage, and I decided we should go to the car park, get the car and make our way home. I went to the address that I had on my email booking for my pre-paid parking.
We both arrived where I was sure I parked the car. The car was not there. The place was closed and in fact, looked a bit different, however, I was sure it was the place. It was the address on my ticket as I pre-paid for parking.
I asked a man where the people at the office were, and he said he didn’t know. I said I need to ask them where my car is, and he said just go and find it and then said some rude things and raced down the stairs.
I was in a HUGE panic that I couldn’t find my car… and yes I did think it was stolen
By this stage, I was rather worried, concerned, and getting rather outraged that I couldn’t find the car. I went down to the bottom car park area and our car was nowhere in sight.
I then went to the building to see if I can ask someone about the car park and why it was empty and to find out where my car might be.
My six-year-old and I finally got to where the security guards were and explained what had happened. I told them that I was sure I parked my car there and that I was worried about the fact that it is not there. They asked me some more questions, I explained that my car was parked by the staff in the car park. They said they don’t do that in this car park.
Geez this now made me think that it was criminals stealing cars, two women told me to give my keys as they park the car. Now I was feeling very stupid, upset, and annoyed. Have I given keys to people to just take my car?
FUCK! Maybe there is a gang of car thieves doing this all over Sydney? Oh, why oh why has this happened? How am I going to get home with a little kid on the train late at night? And I was going to take the train but decided to drive! At this point, I was kicking myself for taking the car.
I walked around screaming and yelling and then started to cry! I realised that my car was not there and I had no idea where it was…. I have really stuffed up and I was very upset about it all.
The security guards checked the security footage and claimed that I am not on it at all. I was so upset that I thought this was part of the conspiracy but on the off chance it was true maybe I parked somewhere else, but where??????
In the area, I parked there was a Wilson’s Car Park on every corner, and some I cannot park in due to the height of my car. My little boy and I went to a few with the security guard and no car. I called the police and was waiting for over two hours. My little boy was tired, hungry, and really wanted to go home, and I was feeling the same as well as very upset with myself.
I had to leave as they were closing the building. I told them I had to take him to get something to eat.
While at Circular Quay McDonalds I got a call from a policeman about a few things about the car. I told him that my little boy was hungry and over it all. Told him what he needed to know and where we were. He said he was going to go to another car park and do a check elsewhere and then give us a callback. He called back and asked if we were still at McDonald’s, I said yes and then his colleague said that they would come and get us and take us to hopefully find our car.
We met the police officers outside Macca’s and explained a bit more about the whole situation. One officer said that we needed to get into their police car to go and find our car. Since the police showed up my super tired and annoyed child was now talking a million miles an hour, was super fascinated by the policemen, and was so happy to have a ride in a police car. Geez, I felt bad that we had involved the police and that I had no idea where my car was. I still thought that there was a criminal gang working the Wilson car parks, taking keys to say they will park the car and then racing off with it… Like Ferris Bueller but not returning the car.
In my head, it was an organised gang of thieves that target all the car parks and then sell off the cars to make huge profits. I am a huge fan of true crime and love listening to podcasts that detail murder, crime, and mysteries. I for one was thinking that this incident with my car might be a crime mystery…Yes, I did.. and this is a reason to maybe take a break from my true crime to relax. Clearly, it is not that relaxing.
So now we are both in the back of a police car off to another parking station to see if my car is there. It wasn’t. We then all went to the one I was sure I parked at and talked to a few people and then the police said what the security guards said, that I am not on the video surveillance footage. We did a few tests and then found out that we are on it from the time I was looking for my car but not when I came in the morning to park my car.
While at the parking station I answered some more questions while my little boy was fascinated by all the equipment that the police wear on their body for a days/nights work. After answering questions about the fact that the valet parking was near a hotel and some more, then the kind officer answered all my little boys’ questions. He was still going non-stop as he thought the officers were way cool!
One officer said that he had called Wilsons to get a person to come around and take us to other parking stations. With the info about the fact that the valet parkers said about the hotel, the officer asked the Wilson’s employee if there was a car park near a hotel. He said yes, so we decided to go to that one first to see if my car is there.
I really hoped it was, although I felt like a real idiot about the whole situation. However, while searching for my car at another car park one of the officers said someone else is having a really bad day at a Wilsons Car Park, I asked how? He then mentioned that this poor person had their foot run over by a car! I honestly cannot imagine how horrible this would be and the pain it would cause, I was thankful that our feet were intact and not run over by any vehicle! However, my car was still at large and I had no idea where it was.
We arrived at the Wilson’s Car Park near the hotel and it looked familiar. I handed my ticket to the people at the desk and they said to me that my car was there. It was now after 8pm and we started our journey to get my car around 2.30 or 3pm, so it had been hours.
The officers wanted to make sure that my car was indeed in the car park and joined us in the lift to go to the next level to see if it was really my car. We arrived on the level and just out of the door of the lift I could instantly see my car.
It was here. I found the car!
It wasn’t a criminal gang stealing cars? It wasn’t dodgy that the people at the other place didn’t have me on the CCTV, I wasn’t there at all and in fact at another place entirely!
Yes, I did a stupid thing and blanked on where I left my car.
I swear although parts of the car park looked familiar I didn’t remember the place.
I thanked everyone for their help and said how upset I feel that I wasted their time on a car. I know that police have bigger things to sort out than a woman who lost her car. I was pleased that I had the time for my parking for hours later than I needed so the time that I left the car park was all paid for as part of my parking. (I normally add extra hours to my booking in case I want to stay longer, not thinking about losing my car and taking hours to find it).
My little boy and I were so happy to have found the car. We both got in and drove home. We got home after 10pm and I finally was hungry by this stage and had a little something to eat. As you might imagine my six-year-old fell asleep on the way home and I tucked him into bed while I enjoyed some quiet time eating and watching an episode of one of my shows on Netflix.
Part of this story has shown I need to slow down and take time to make sure I notice things. However, it is hard when you have a million things going on in your brain, a kid going ten to the dozen and making sure that you are thinking of what you are doing next to not be late for events and things.
One of the girls’ friends’ mum had a horrible car accident that same weekend and she said that she needed to slow down and not think about everything too. It is so hard to slow down when you are the person that does many things for everyone. It is hard to just stop for a bit. I do think it is needed but with the chaotic world we live in, I believe that time out when you can think and have some silence (alone time) is essential.
I will now also try to not listen to 100% true crime in my alone time as I see conspiracies everywhere now.
What about you? Have you had moments when things have happened and if you just slowed down and had the chance to take more time at that moment the incident wouldn’t have happened?
I’ve not been well and finding it difficult as I keep on thinking about sleep. My bed keeps wanting me to keep it company and as I’ve had a few days of horrible headaches I totally agree that rest and sleep might be a very good idea.
Aside from not being well, I have nearly a week to organise everything for the twins 11th birthday party. I don’t understand where the time has gone. You would not think they are babies anymore and just looking at them you will see tall kids that are lanky and seem to be getting stretched out – they are in the lanky phase of growth before full set puberty sets in.
Puberty might not have happened but you would think it was due to the moods and craziness that is happening at our place.
Not only have I been trying to keep up with the kids’ events at school, one main one was seeing them dance in the school’s entry into the Wakkarki Dance Competition. All the kids did such an amazing job and it was many hours of practice from the kids plus a very long day and night of the show. I was very proud to see the kids do such a great uplifting performance and it was a wonderful feel-good story of acceptance and making friends from all different backgrounds.
The performance for Wakkarki was at Riverside Theatre in Parramatta and the kids left school at 10.30am and didn’t get picked up by parents until 9pm that evening. We arrived home well after 11pm and I don’t think they got to bed until after 12am as both kids wanted a shower to remove makeup and thick hairspray from their hair.
This week the twins are having another late night due to both singing at the Opera House with school and Wednesday to Friday last week went to Canberra with the school. Yes, the busyiness hasn’t stopped!
Making lists of what I need to do and getting a coffee at the same time.
Last weekend the girls had basketball training, their basketball game and then a birthday party to attend. The next day was Father’s Day and lunch with the family and a hike with daddy. Phew….. plus other things that they get up to after school too!
This is not to mention wrangling a toddler to care and to entertain as well. Oh and being sick too. I was feeling okay and on the mend until the twins got ill a week before they went to Canberra….thank goodness they got better and was able to attend their excursion to the nation’s capital, if they couldn’t go I am sure I wouldn’t hear the end of it, and also as we had paid in full it would have been an expensive non-excursion.
I’ve upped my vitamins, been to the doctor and am now on antibiotics. Not sure that the drugs are needed but over being sick and feeling horrible all the time.
I am going to bed with a million things on my mind. Getting things for the cake, wrapping presents, organising party bags for the twins birthday party, finalising the list of who’s coming, cleaning the house for relatives that will be over soon to celebrate with us, things I wanted to do but can only think about sleep or attempting to keep my eyes open.
In an attempt to stay energised I had two coffees the other day, and I fear this was a horrible mistake. I was still extremely tired but couldn’t go to sleep. I lay in bed thinking of all the things I needed to organise and are yet to do, and yes this stressed me out and still made me not able to sleep.
So now I am not doing two coffees, I have only one in the early hours of the morning. I fight the urge to have another as I know this will cause me to be staring at the ceiling and getting frustrated about my lack of drive due to being zapped of energy due to a cold or the flu… not sure what it is but only know that I hate it and want it to go away and never come back.
Have you had a very busy time? Are you still going through it? Has it coincided with you getting ill? If so how did you manage?
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Today is a big day. Kids are at school then off to after school care. You wonder what I will be doing? I am leading a glamorous life and of course I will be cleaning, scrubbing and doing housework!
The house needs a spruce up before the weekend. The twins have their birthday on Saturday and we might have family and friends drop by. Due to this and of course being flat out have a clean house might be a good idea.
I think after I calm down from the big week I might need to have them in care again so that I can spend my time doing something I like.
A bubble bath? Spending my gift vouchers at the shops? Sleeping? Working on the blog?
A maid would make things easy, but due to no funds to pay a maid I am her currently! Yes not ideal but cheaper.
Wish me well and I hope I get a lot done.
Stay tuned for more about this years birthday party for the girls.
Happy Monday to you all. Yes another week is upon us. I am still fighting a cold and feel very tired. It does not help that it is a perfect day for staying in bed. If I had no kids or no reason to leave the house I might have just stayed in bed and still be there. However I had to get kids off to school, pick up a parcel from the post office and more.
Super tired this Monday. Image found on Pinterest.
Due to being under the weather there is a lot of housework to do…now I must go and sort some laundry or people might not be happy as they will not have undies and socks and that will of course not make other family members have a smile or like me much at all.
I have had my coffee late and have caught up on who won the room reveal for the block last night. Now I can look at the news. I hate finding out who won and I have not yet watched the show.
Clothes sorting is about to happen….. what job are you dreading or not wanting to do today? Are there several. I do have a few but the clothes one is the major one at the moment.
Have a great Monday and hope you get some things done or have a rest if that is what is on the agenda.
Hi all, I am very busy working on the last assignment for university so have not posted lately. Sorry about this, however after assignment is done will post some more and will keep them coming.
Keen to get this long stressful assignment completed, then tutorial questions to do and study for the exam. Then after that I will be very pleased it is over for another semester.
Although I am working away at assignment and kids, I am really looking forward to my day off tomorrow and of course my birthday on Sunday.
Hope you are all well and more posts will start next week after uni assignment is done and submitted.
Just wanted to let you all know that the kids are at pre-school this week. YES! I am very pleased about this. They are better and so am I. Now to only get some creative ideas on how to make my university assignment wonderful and HD (High distinction) material. It is nice to finally have some time out, however now I have so many things to do, what to do first.
Today the girls went into school and there were no good bye’s, no tears and they were keen to leave me. Why cannot all drop offs be like this.
I have made head way on my assignment, did a tutorial question for class today yesterday and now need to get some order in this house, then back to the assignment I will go. My aim is to get it all completed so that I can enjoy the weekend and Easter.
Yipeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee for school for the last week before the holidays. I think you can tell I am happy about it.
Why is it when you have a million things to do you are not feeling your best. This just makes what you have to do, harder and more annoying. Maybe I should have done more university work before now. It is hard fitting it all in being a busy mummy; however I probably could have done more than I have done. I have an assignment due on the 2nd of April and just between you and me, I have done some research but not put much of it together. More reading and time spent on this needs to happen this weekend.
I have told the husband that I need to be left alone to do university work, and that was met with, he needs to sleep in, do the lawns and get his hair cut. Understand that these things need to be done and he has had a big week, so catching up on sleep is great. So hoping that when he is up it is my turn to be left alone to get on with what I want to do. He can look after the girls like I had to when he had a presentation to do for work. I just fear that I will end up looking after the girls till about 1-2pm and then I will get nothing done.
Currently I feel terrible, tired, and achy, the beginning of a sore throat, and just generally out of sorts. I would really like to go back to bed; however this cannot happen with kids in the house.
Today the goal is to get some of my assignment done and my tutorial questions. Once these are done, or at least well on the way to being complete I will feel much better about university and the situation.
Now the other goal is to be left alone to complete this task. Maybe daddy might take the kids out to get his haircut and leave me alone? You can only hope.
Have you had things you need to get done, but it is hard when you are not left alone to do them? I know I have some extra days due to pre-school, but I tend to get some housework done, shopping and try to fit in university study. The issue with university is that you can take hour’s just investigating one issue or looking up an article. Then there is a matter of reading it all to understand what it is you are doing. So the day that you had goes and you don’t feel like you have done anything.
Does your partner/husband help you have time to yourself for study/time out/hobbies/anything else? It is really hard to fit it all in. Next week I am using pre-school days for me, not the house. Send in what you do to fit it all in? What tips and tricks can you share with us all?
Update: Finally now on my own, it is 11:40am, and feel annoyed most of the day is gone but pleased to be getting a start on my work. Now getting a hot cuppa tea and to get stuck into it. In the end I have organised the format for the assignment, now need to read all the articles and put it all together. Wanted to do more, however after lunch I felt terrible and decided to rest.
