I’ve been busy looking after everyone, doing everything and taking everyone everywhere.
Oh, and not to mention getting a cold, then the flu and now sick again.
I just want to sit and be looked after for a change; get dinner made by someone else, allow me to sleep in, maybe have others do the housework for a change.
I have been wondering for a while now, when is it my time to be looked after? Why am I the one that does everything?
I am more than a wife and a mother, I have dreams and ideas too, plus I haven’t changed who I am due to having kids. Actually, there have been THREE BIG CHANGES: I have no money, no time and I’m always tired.
I know that being a mum doesn’t make you less of a person but lately, it feels like you get overlooked on every level. When you are sick you still have to solider on, when you’ve hurt yourself you have to still do everything too.
Maybe it will be another 20 years before I can finally have a break? I do have young children and one is not even in school yet.
Being always on is tiring not only physically but mentally draining.
Maybe the thoughts about the lack of identity or being at other’s beck and call have surfaced more due to the school holidays…where there has been not a lot of moments to be left alone to hear myself think.
It could be that being a Stay at Home mum to three kids is now my role, however, I would like to be a mogul to my ideas.
Do you find that you’re overlooked due to being a mum? Do you find that things are expected of you and you are never asked? If so, I know how you feel.
I think this is why I’ve been researching drool-worthy holidays. A holiday that will mean mummy will get some much-needed downtime, pampering and an experience that will be fantastic for the whole family (One that means that I don’t have to make beds, cook or clean).
Let me know if you are over giving all to everyone and not getting much back? Having moody pre-teens, of course, doesn’t help.
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I must say that all this talk of double dipping and new mums supposedly rorting the system is hypocritical if you ask me.
New Parents – Hopefully will be still able to claim the parental leave.
The government voted for this paid parental scheme. It was structured with part coming from the employer and part from the government. Government minister wives have even made use of this scheme. It was all above board and if you were entitled to the parental leave payments why not let this help you if you are a new parent. It all helps.
Why is it that we are now having conversations about who works and who doesn’t. I for one would like to challenge any person to say that a mum that is a stay at home parent does not work. The only difference is that they are not in paid employment. This mother might be racing everywhere and going above and beyond for her family but this is not listed as work, due to no payment for said tasks.
Working mothers do it tough too. They drop their kids off at care or have family to come and help. Without care these mums would not be able to work and to contribute to society, their household and progress their careers.
It does not matter if you are in paid work or not. Looking after kids, family and a house is a big job as well. Doing this with a full time job is hard too. It is all a balancing act. No one is better or worse, it is just different.
It now seems like mothers are under attack. I know that is not actually true but that is the way it appears. Joe Hockey was asked if “Double Dipping” was fraud and he eventually said yes. Now he is back peddling. So I suppose in his mind all women/men that took advantage of this paid parental scheme, which is legal and was voted in by him and the current government are breaking the law.
be the primary carer of a newborn or recently adopted child
meet the Paid Parental Leave work test
meet the Paid Parental Leave income test
be on leave or not working from the time you become your child’s primary carer until the end of your Paid Parental Leave period
Just in case you are worried that paid parental leave might not be available for you, there is a note on the website that says:
“The current Paid Parental Leave scheme has not changed. It will continue to be available to eligible customers.”
Let’s just hope that it does not get changed at all, or very little if at all.
What are your thoughts? The government is now claiming that it is the parents fault for taking advantage of a legal scheme to help them spend more time with their new baby.
If there is a way for new parents to spend more time with their new addition why not take that up and give yourself more time to bond, and get to know your new little baby. It could be a mother or father that wishes to do this, and does not always have to be the mum that is claiming the paid parental leave.
Are you a new parent? Have you been lucky enough to get the paid parental leave? When I went on maternity leave with the twins I did not have this option and plus I was on a contract.
If paid parental leave was available when I had the twins and I was in full time employment I would have taken advantage, as it would have given us help when we really needed it. Caring for two new little people and not earning a wage was a shock to the system.
Let us know how this talk of double dipping is affecting you. What are your thoughts of all the back flipping?
Mother having fun with her child. She has more free time due to having a wife/housekeeper. Yes, that would be nice right! Image courtesy of Chaiwat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I read with interest the article, “Modern Mothers Need A Wife” that was on Women’s Agenda.
I am a stay at home mother but like to try and fit in some work for my blog and other things. I also wish to try and earn some money while the kids are at school and don’t wish to be trapped to housework in my free time.
I do understand it needs to be done but sometimes, and lately, due to being ill it has not been done at all and some areas of the house very sparely, for example, the kitchen, bathroom and bedrooms. However a glance at the house in its current state you would think a bomb has gone off and no one has been here to clean up any mess at all.
In the article, it discusses Annabel Crabb’s new book, “The Wife Drought”. Women who have stayed at home as mothers and carers have supported the careers of men and I do agree that women do need the same if they are to climb the corporate ladder and keep the home front clean and tidy. Yes, it is hard when you have to physically leave the house and work long hours. As a woman if you do have a full-time job, you end up coming home to another full-time job, the house, kids, cooking, and more! It never ends.
I know this is sexist but I still find it in 2014 that men who come home from work seem to clock off and have a rest while they sit wondering what is for dinner, even though they might have got home before their wife. Why can’t the husband or partner organise dinner for a change? I don’t understand why due to me being the woman or the wife that I now have to cook dinner for everyone just because you have not been bothered. Does this happen to you? It is assumed that you will do it even though you have worked a full day, and to also organise everything else while he (it is normally a man so forgive me if it is different in your household) sits down with a beer to unwind and be left alone to relax.
Now if I had a wife, all this would be sorted. We don’t need to reference the role as a wife, but it could be a housekeeper or helper. The dinner would be sorted, the house would be tidy, and all things that you would normally fuss about after a hard day at work or out and about would be organised. No reason to stress, no reason to argue with your partner/husband/wife.
You can be happy and ready to start the day again knowing that all the things that helps make the house run is sorted! How good would that be?
I do have a friend that is now a stay at home dad. He does some jobs from home to keep his hand into what he is skilled at doing, but his partner earns a good wage and it made sense for her to be the person that worked full time and he would look after their baby girl. My hubby has always said that if I earn heaps of money he is more than happy to stay at home and care for the girls. We have just made a decision that was better for us financially and it is that he works while I look after the kids.
Have you thought if you had a wife helping you at home your world and things would be better? Would you be able to contribute and do more? Earn more money? Be happier and not so stressed?
My aim one day is to get a cleaner for the house as I hate doing it all and it takes so much time and energy. I never liked it before kids so this has not changed. I know being clean and tidy is necessary and helpful, you even feel better in a tidy room with no clutter. I do need to do a de-clutter so I am bad as have not done that as well.
When I have a little bit more money I am hoping to engage a cleaner to come to the house as I believe outsourcing some things will allow me to do more, be less stressed, happier and of course the fact that hubby and I will not argue over who has done what. The reason this has not happened is due to cost so that is why I am doing it all myself.
Are you like me and would like a wife to help you out? If I hired a wife I would need to pay them, however, I feel upset that all my work has been unpaid. Really not fair, but I suppose we have saved the money by not paying others so it is a saving in a way. I, of course, would not expect to have someone help without payment, but if you are the type of person that loves to clean and wants to do it for free I am happy to hear from you about a job opening.
Let me know your thoughts. Would having a helper with the house and kids help you? I know I would love it.
Do you have a housekeeper or a cleaner already? How has it changed your world? Send in your comments.
