Read on for a rant. Yes, I’ve got my cranky pants on and for good reason. I don’t understand why men think that it is okay to put women down, to not value them, to not help out and to believe due to sex it is all the woman’s job to organise the house and more!
A friend of ours popped over and while chatting I was madly folding the laundry in the living room.
I’ve been super busy like most mums and hadn’t folded the laundry, although all clean it was in a pile and some were partially folded. I thought why not try and get rid of it all and put it away, and at the same time have a chat.
This is not me, and never has been me. Men are still thinking that this is women. Cooking, caring and being a dedicated housewife/housekeeper. It is 2019 not 1950’s.
I joined in the conversation and mentioned to hubby while our mate was over that he packed a pair of the twin’s undies in Alexander’s bag and they would have been too big. I was saying that he should check the clothes to ensure that our little boy has the right clothes, jumper, adequate numbers of undies, tops and pants.
Our friend then said men cannot do this and therefore women are much better suited to housework and organising all the items for the kids. It was said that men cannot do this type of work.
I’m not sure why this is the case? Also my first thought was what fucking bullshit!
Are men missing limbs that make it hard for them to pick up items, to help out, to tidy up, help organise items for kids school bags? Or at the very least pack a lunch for a child to go to preschool.
Men are not special beings and therefore should be able to cook, clean, tidy and do everything that comes with living with others in a house.
It’s not terribly difficult work, although boring and not that exciting. However, it needs to be done! And not just by one person!
I asked hubby to pack a lunch for our little boy and he freaked out, and said what do I do? I am not sure why this is an issue to panic about. It’s just a packed lunch. Sort it out. It’s bloody simple actually.
In my opinion, I think acting stupid and lost (otherwise known as Strategic Incompetence) about an easy task means that others will do the work for you and therefore you get out of doing it. Men do this all the time, does it happen at your place?
Responding to our mutual friend I said I don’t like housework either, and why does having a penis means you are exempt?
Just an excuse to not do things in my book. Hopeless and fucking rude really!
I think we should have a detachable penis to ensure we don’t have to do shit housework all day too. I want to sit and do nothing and have someone look after me too. What about you?
Being female doesn’t mean that I have an instant love for cleaning and tidying. I have never liked it and actually, I’m not the best at this at all. I struggle to do it all and would prefer to be doing anything other than housework.
Maybe I need to adopt the panic that anyone with a penis shows me when I ask them to help or do something.
If I too look so lost, others will do the work and I can sit down and stare for hours at my phone or computer while drinking a beer, claiming that it is important work that I am doing so therefore cannot be interrupted.
Geez, it is 2019 and men are still sexist dickheads believing that women are the housekeeper and slave for everyone. I’ve got 2 degrees, I’m very smart and have other ambitions than to cook, clean and to race around for everyone else.
Do you see how lost people with penises get when asked to do something they don’t want to do? Do they claim they have no idea how to work the dishwasher, washing machine, or make a lunch box for the kids? And many other things.
I know some men are very capable so this is not directed at those that actually help the household to be more harmonious for all that live there. If you live in the house you need to contribute to help it run more smoothly.
Let me know what you’ve asked to be done and what inventive answers you have received?
I do believe that we as women need to give this stupid behaviour back to the men that dish it out.See what they say when I cannot help them when we look lost and panicked too about a certain task. Insert evil laugh!
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And if it does it is older people that have this happen.
Wrong.
“46% of women affected by incontinence are under 50”
In fact incontinenceand bladder leakage effects 1 in 3 women and 1 in 10 men. These numbers show that there are a lot of people in Australia dealing with this issue.
TENA has created infographics to help simplify your understanding of incontinence and prepare yourself for it.
What is incontinence?
Although there are thousands or possibly millions of people affected, no one seems to discuss this issue.
The idea of bladder leakage seems a taboo subject.
I like others have not liked to discuss it, however it happens. It is real, it is an outcome of life, and an outcome of being a mother.
Pregnancy can weaken your pelvic floor muscles. Don’t worry exercise can make it all better.
Incontinence is not all the same, there are different reasons for why it happens.
Below are the main reasons that people would have any form of incontinence.
Stress Incontinence – When you sneeze, cough, jump or laugh and end up having a leak. This is due to having a weakened pelvic floor muscle. Due to the weak pelvic floor muscle the urine cannot be contained and creates a downward pressure. This is mainly an issue for women and the reasons for the weak pelvic floor is pregnancy, childbirth, being overweight could be an issue, if you smoke that could not help and if you have constipation or had issues trying to go to the toilet.
Overflow Incontinence – This is when you have an overwhelming need to urinate and it cannot wait. Sometimes getting the toilet in time is not possible, and must be very upsetting. This could also be a sign of infection and it is best to seek advice from your doctor about this issue. Other causes could be fizzy drinks, caffeine, and alcohol.
Overflow Incontinence – Although this can be experienced by anyone it is mainly men that have this issue. Check with your doctor and see if there are any issues with prostrate or maybe a blockage. Once all fixed everything should return to normal.
Functional Incontinence – Physical injury or other health issues might affect a person’s ability to get to the bathroom on time. It might also be neurological, including Alzheimer’s, stroke and head injury, where the messages between brain and bladder aren’t getting through.
Bowel or Faecal Incontinence – Causes of Bowel or faecal incontinence can be a weak pelvic floor due to constipation, poor bowel habits, diarrhoea or maybe bowel surgery. Diseases such as Coeliac and Chrohn’s can impact control over your bowel.
Incontinence is an outcome that I don’t like.
Not only do you carry a baby for nine months or close to it if you have babies early.
Your body changes, you are also dealing with extra weight due to putting it on for the pregnancy and then have limited time to exercise to lose the weight.
Although it is an annoying outcome, it is something that can be fixed or made much better.
Yes you read that right, there are treatments that can help you!
You need to understand what is causing the issue first. Once you know why you are having bladder leakage then you can start to treat the issue.
Pelvic Floor Exercises – This addresses the weakened pelvic floor mostly due to childbirth. One option is to consult a continence physiotherapist who can develop an individually tailored program as well as assist in monitoring progress.
Bladder Retraining– This is done under the supervision of your GP, Gynaecologist, Urologist or Continence Physiotherapist. You retrain your bladder to have longer intervals to the toilet.
Surgery – This is an option if all the other treatments have not worked. Only when your doctor has recommended it is a solution that will correct the issue.
Medication– Before medication is considered doctors try a change to lifestyle, such as reducing coffee, soft drinks and alcohol. A doctor will advise if this is needed and how it can help.
Have you been slack on thekegel exercises? I am, and it is really not hard to fit them in.
TIP to help you exercise
MAKE A TIME EACH DAY WHILE DOING A CHORE: One tip that helps me is to make one time a day or maybe two to do the kegel exercises.
It could be when you are hanging out the clothes, picking kids up from school or driving in the car.
Shhhh….Don’t tell anyone, I like to do them when I am driving back and forth from school. This way they get done in the morning and afternoon.
Having a chore to do with your kegel exercises means that every time you do this chore you will think to do your kegel exercises. A win all round.
Perfecting your kegels
Pelvic Floor Exercises for Women – Continence Foundation of Australia
Now armed with some great techniques, my pelvic floor muscles will be like steel.
Yep, not abs of steel, pelvic floor of steel! Maybe this is a bad visual for you my dear readers.
I have been wanting to get toned, fit and drop some weight, maybe soon I will be a woman of steel! It could happen….given enough time? A personal trainer would help….oh how I wish.
It is best to have more water to reduce the concentration of urine, if you don’t have enough water you can irritate your bladder and aggravate urge incontinence.
Making sure that you look after yourself now, is going to pay off when you get older. Strong muscles will mean that when you are older you can control any leaks and not have accidents.
This helps with quality of life and also confidence. If you are not worried about the possibility of incontinence you can do more and be more active.
While you are exercising and working towards stronger pelvic floor muscles it is advisable to wear protection to allow you go confidently go about your everyday tasks without worry.
TENA is offering customers free samplesto help find the right product for their needs. Fill out the form and get some free samples sent to you, all in discreet packaging. (I’ve signed up for my free samples. Have you??)
Get Free TENA Samples to find out what works best for you.
While you are busy getting pelvic muscles of steel make sure to protect yourself with TENA. It will allow you to have confidence to exercise and enjoying life.
Life is short and it is best to get on with it and participate. If bladder leakage or incontinence is holding you back, get it checked at the doctors, do the exercises and be key to improving your quality of life.
MAKE YOU A PRIORITY!
Disclaimer: This post is in collaboration with TENA. I was approached to help the awareness of the different causes and treatments for incontinence. It is a fixable issue and one that you should not live with if it is bothering you. Make an appointment with your doctor and get it fixed so that you can start enjoying all the fun things you wish to do again.
I hope this helps you know more about this issue.
Note:I am going to be doing more follow up articles on this issue, so stay tuned.
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She Said inspiration from Home Depot. Picture from http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/
I like watching the Lifestyle Channel and seeing all the DIY and Home repair shows. I love seeing what they do with run down houses and how they fix them up. It is great inspiration for our new house and fixing up our current one. The home shows also have another effect, the kids find them boring so they leave me alone to watch them. It ends up being more me time, although sometimes minding the baby at the same time.
One show called, “House Hunters” shows couples in the process of buying a new house. The show gives each couple about four houses to choose from and then they pick the one that is best for them. During the house hunt the man regardless of whether they are old or young or even the husband or the boyfriend really needs and demands a man cave.
Why is a “man cave” so important on the house hunt? I have not heard women ask for their “She-Shed” as well. Yes, it is a thing too! A “She-Shed” can also be called a woman cave.
She-Shed inspiration from Home Depot. Picture from http://www.quickanddirtytips.com/
Maybe it should be a requirement for all houses; A man shed and a she-shed must be in all houses. Would council mandate it to ensure this happens? It would be nice wouldn’t it.
Why is it that the man needs a space to get away from everyone? I would like that too? Why can’t the mother or woman in the house have her own cave to do what she wants to do, have things not touched by kids or maybe sip her wine and watch her favourite shows or she could read a book without being interrupted.
With all the shows that I have watched it is rare that the woman in the relationship questions the man cave or demand to have a room for them, and only them. It could be a craft room, office, or if you have the space a basement area.
I just think that it is rather sexist to think that the man is the only one that needs some time out.
The main argument that I have found for why men need and want a “man cave” is that the woman in their life decorates the house. This in turn creates the need for the man to have his own area for his own decorations, furniture and allow him to have some time for him.
Having a space to recharge your batteries would be lovely. I would be able to have quiet time, not be pestered, not hear, “Mummy, mummy, mama!” all the time, do something for me, finally be able to concentrate on something I want to do without be constantly in the middle of five different things. (dinner, craft, reading a book, getting snacks, and more!)
Everyone needs to have their own space, and downtime.
If you are like me you go crazy with the kids all the time and no time for you. Allowing everyone to have some me time is ultra-important for everyone’s happiness.
Women have created “She-Sheds” as their version of the “Man Shed”. Some women have decided to take their sheds to the garden and some are just stunning. The “She-Sheds” can be whatever you wish them to be, reading room, office, craft or maybe a yoga studio. It is up to you, it is your space.
Do you have a cave to retreat to? Do you have one for hubby and you as well? Let us know.
The other week we celebrated International Women’s Day. Lately, there have been many articles about women and girls; the topics range from equal pay, pocket money, women not being in leadership roles, how women manage money, and more!
Inequality is still a major issue and I’m sure I am not the only one that finds this appalling. Yes, it is 2016 and we are still not treating women and girls as equals. Why is being female such a negative thing? We are strong, we have children, we solider on just like men do, and we manage the household, we manage kids and work and also have a career to boot. Plus some of us, myself included taking time out to do unpaid work of looking after kids and family. This unpaid work is not easy as there are no holidays, sick days, or thanks for the majority of the job. However, if you don’t do something it gets noticed instantly. Have two kids sick and you are ill and struggling, you are on your own. You cannot call in and tell the boss you cannot come in that day. Oh, how I wish this was the case!
Girls and women are more highly educated than ever before and it is reflected in the workforce. More and more women are striving for the top jobs and also entering into industries that were seen once as male-only domains, such as engineering, IT and much more. I for one believe and so does hubby, that jobs should be matched on a skill basis. If you fulfil the skill and job requirements you should be seriously looked at for the role, and your gender should not be a factor to determine if you get a job, or if you get a promotion or if you get a pay rise or paid the right amount of money.
Here is my rant about the inequality that women deal with. Yes, I have my cranky pants on and I’m not apologizing for being angry. Everyone should see this as unforgivable. If you have daughters would you want or accept that they will always be underpaid and undervalued? I would hope not!
Gender Pay Gap Stats. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
Why are top female sports professionals so underpaid?
The Matildas are Australia’s national soccer team. The team have been very successful in the FIFA World Cup and in the lead up to the Olympics. There has been a pay dispute with FFA (Football Federation of Australia), the team wish to have equal pay like the male soccer players.
For example, Each Matilda player got $500 in match fees for the knockout game with Brazil. However male players receive $7,500 for the same thing. (Convery, Stephanie: September 11, 2015, “The Matildas’ pay dispute could spark real change”, abc.net.au)
— $500 per group-stage tournament game, $600 per round of 16-tournament game, $750 per tournament quarter-final, $1250 per tournament semi-final or third or fourth-place playoff and$1500 per tournament final
— Plus an equal share in 30 per cent of all prize money
SOCCEROOS
— A share in commercial profits from matches played and sponsor bonuses
— $6500 per standard international game
— $7500 per group-stage tournament game. $8500 per quarter-final tournament game, $9500 per tournament semi-final or third or fourth-place playoff and $11,500 per tournament final
— Plus an equal share in 30 per cent of all prize money
— Or, $240 daily wage
As you can see a match fee for men that is $7,500 to the women’s pay of $500 is a massive difference. A difference of $7,000 is just not on at all! Not fair if you ask me. Very rude to The Matildas to not value their skill and success and not pay the same as the men are getting.
“”In my next life when I come back I want to be someone in the WTA, because they ride on the coattails of the men,” Moore said. “They don’t make any decisions and they are lucky. They are very, very lucky. If I was a lady player, I’d go down every night on my knees and thank God that Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal were born, because they have carried this sport. They really have.” (Rothenberg, Ben: 2016, March 21, “Indian Wells boss Raymond Moore says women tennis players should be thanking men”, The Sydney Morning Herald.)
Serena Williams “rejected the notion that Moore’s comments could have been misconstrued.
“There’s only one way to interpret that,” she said. “‘Get on your knees,’ which is offensive enough, and ‘Thank a man’? We, as women, have come a long way. We shouldn’t have to drop to our knees at any point.”
“Williams expressed particular shock that Moore would make such comments after last year’s US Open when excitement over her Grand Slam bid caused tickets to the women’s final to sell out before the men’s final for the first time in tournament history.” (Rothenberg, Ben: 2016, March 21, “Indian Wells boss Raymond Moore says women tennis players should be thanking men”, The Sydney Morning Herald.)
Graph looking at data for full-time wages and the gender pay gap. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
Why is it when there is media coverage regarding Hilary Clinton’s race for the white house, the question is, “How do you feel about a woman president?”
Why is being a woman a major issue?
I understand that America has not had a female president but you don’t hear the same questioning for a male wanting to be president. I would think that they would find this line of questioning rude and not seeing their credentials for the job rather than focus on gender.
If a woman is successful in her career and life, why is it that she is singled out due to her sex? We can see instantly that she is female and that is not a major thing to notice. Who cares!!!
The only thing that should be looked at and worried about is, can she do the job? A woman needs to be noticed for her skills and achievements not just due to gender.
You never hear in the press, that we have a man in this job and it is a first. I wonder how he will do? Why are men not put through the scrutiny women are? Why are men getting more money for the same jobs?
Why is it when men don’t hit their objectives/KPI’s in their job that they still get higher bonuses than women?
Ridiculous if you ask me. Isn’t the whole idea of the reward system to reward the workers that hit the objectives and performance indicators? Not the person that does not achieve?
This could be a woman or a man, the employee just has to hit their targets to be in the running for a bonus not get one without doing so.
“Despite getting the same performance ratings as their male colleagues, women get smaller bonuses on average, according to a report from human resources consultants Mercer.
Even men who only partially met their performance objectives got bonuses that were 35 per cent larger than their female counterparts.” (Perkins, Miki: 2015, November 4, “Gender pay gap higher in bonuses, report finds”
Looking at the gender pay gap from 1995 to 2015. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
“Boys earn $13 a week in pocket money on average, while girls get $9.60, according to a survey done for the Heritage Bank and released in time for International Women’s Day this week. The bank made similar findings in 2014. (Fitzsimmons, Caitlin: March 8, 2016, “Girls get less pocket money”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
How atrocious that boys even when little still get paid more! I wonder how this works?
Why would parents pay girls less than their boys? I know I wouldn’t.
According to the article from the Herald, it says it could be down the types of jobs done by boys/girls or how the child negotiates. Or maybe the fact that girls are expected to just do housework or jobs around the house for no pay… If this is the case that is just horrible! Living in 2016 and just due to your gender you are expected to do things for no pay. Wrong I tell you! Also if this is so and the reason, showing boys that housework or other chores around the house are not to be valued and not paid is not right at all.
I don’t understand why having a penis makes you earn more over a lifetime. Maybe I need to get a fake one to improve my chances?????
Why is this discrepancy occurring? As an employer, what makes you underpay women?
Why is it okay to pay female employees less?
Women are equally deserving as men, women have the same education and skill base, women are focused and high achieving, and would like to be promoted and go places just like men. This is not something different.
Just because we are female does not make our wants and desires any different to a man. We are just working harder and for less money!
When I was working in the corporate world, I was keen to be promoted and to progress in my career. I saw the men get promoted but when I put my hand up and showed interest I always got told not now, you don’t have the skills yet (although I was already doing the job but did not have the new title and new pay to accompany it) and much more. During my time at many companies, management changed and this meant it was mostly men that took up positions of power, and therefore brought along their mates, who were of course male. I must say that there were a few powerful and lovely women who did a great job and I greatly admired them.
Why is ambition from a woman seen as a terrible trait to have? If I was a man I’m sure the outcome would have been completely different.
Ambition is a great attribute and I should be rewarded. I wish I would know what it would have been like if I was a man, would my life and career have looked different? Would I have been the CEO of a company by now? Maybe it is best not to know, if I knew how it could have been, I think it would make me even angrier.
I was always taught, that you study hard, work hard and do well, good pay will follow. Gender did not come into it. I really don’t see how your sex should determine pay.
Women live longer than men and therefore need more savings to live. Being short-changed in the earnings department means that women’s superannuation is much less than a man’s and even lower if they have had a career break to look after children or other family members.
“The gender pay gap is worst where pay is kept secret and women often find out they are being paid less than their male colleagues after years on the job,” she said.
The gender pay gap is currently at a 20-year high of 18.8 per cent, according to the Workplace Gender Equality Agency. It means that, on average, women earn $298.10 a week less than men. Put another way, they have to work an extra 66 days a year to take home the same amount as a man. (Gartrell, Adam: 2015, August 2, “Greens call for an end to ‘salary secrecy’ to help bridge gender pay gap”, They Sydney Morning Herald)
Pay gaps are broken down by state. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
Wow! Women earn $298.10 less each week compared to men! That is a lot to not be earning.
That is a loss of $15,501.20 per year in earnings.
Fancy missing out on 15K per year. That is a HUGE gap! I am not sure what industry that these figures were taken from or if this is just an average of many women interviewed and data collected from the Workplace Gender Equality Agency.
If businesses did not keep pay secret then women would know what men and women in similar roles were being paid.
This would help negotiation for salary and make sure that women are not being underpaid. Making pay transparent would also help everyone, not just women. Not knowing what certain roles are being paid and what you can ask for is definitely hard.
If you know what the value of roles are, you are so much more informed, plus employers will, of course, get highly trained individuals that will work hard and wish to grow with the organisation.
The Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has been focusing on innovation and technology. My girls are very interested in the STEM subjects, Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths. Hubby and I have encouraged this as we believe that the jobs of the future will have some or all of these skills. Also if the twins focus on these subjects and are good at them, they can get a job that pays well in the future. Why are girls not participating in these areas as much as boys? Why are we not encouraging girls to give it a go?
“A recent OECD report found less than one in 20 girls from OECD countries considered careers in science, technology, engineering and maths. In 2013 in New South Wales a tiny 1.5 per cent of girls took the trio of advanced maths, physics and chemistry. Yet a recent study by PricewaterhouseCoopers revealed that in the future 75 per cent of the fast-growing occupations will require STEM – science, technology, engineering and mathematics skills. We are locking ourselves out of the workforce. If we are going to earn the same as our pipsqueak brothers, we will have to think hard about the choices we make.” (Clarke, Ruby, 2015: June 28, “Teenage girls need to change themselves to affect the gender pay gap”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
How low is 1.5% of girls participating in STEM subjects in New South Wales! We need higher numbers. What do you think?
There is also the argument that women work in part-time roles or choose not to work due to kids and other commitments. That might be true.
However, for the women that wish to work, it is rather difficult if you do have kids as well. Juggling motherhood, career and life is tough. Not horrible but just more things to organise and get lined up to make sure everything happens.
I for one would love to work part-time or say full time. A couple of days in the office and the rest from home. My jobs have all been online and therefore can transition to work from home roles. I can put kids in care for the days that I’m at the office but don’t want to have kids in full-time care. Firstly it is too expensive and, secondly, I will never see them.
I don’t have the luxury of living near relatives and therefore I am the one that does all kid-related activities. School run, and after school activities is all down to me. Being the only one doing all this is limiting and therefore I have created my own opportunities with my blog. My own online presence, to hopefully build my empire! (You can only put it out there. You never know right?)
“Sure, if women are simply choosing to work shorter hours in lower-status jobs in lower-paid industries – perhaps because they choose to take on the bulk of the task of looking after children and the home – then there is no problem here.
But – and here’s the rub – perhaps these are not choices freely made.
Perhaps women don’t want to retire with no superannuation or other savings after all. Perhaps they would like to earn a pay-packet the equivalent of a man’s, but they’re too busy looking after those male’s kids for free.” (Irvine, Jessica, 2015: July 31, “Apples and oranges: Gender pay gap is worse than you think”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
Many women would love to get the job after kids to fit into their new lifestyle, however, many companies are still stuck with the mindset that you have to physically turn up to a job in an office.
How about job share? Part-time in the office for 2 days and work at home for 3 days. Work some hours in the day and some in the night and weekend? Flexible hours as long as the work gets done.
Understand if you need to be online or on the phone for meetings or in the office. You can always have a catch-up meeting every fortnight or month?
Depends on the business and workload.
With technology, I don’t why more places embrace telecommuting. It would save the company money and also allow them to get quality employees that will stick with the company due to allowing them to be flexible and work from home.
Think about all the women with fabulous skills that are itching to get the job that businesses are overlooking!
“Clearly society has to change in order for women to rise, but we, the teenagers of Australia, also have to change our attitudes and perceptions. Major corporations must set targets to increase women’s participation in managerial positions.
Men additionally need to take more responsibility for child care and share the load. Unionised workforces also tend to be higher paid workforces so if women join unions, their rates of pay should increase.
But. It’s also down to you and me, ladies. We need to change, too. We need to think about what kinds of lives we want. What kinds of jobs will get us more money? Are we going to be in charge of our own futures or are we going to rely on men to pay for them? If you want to work with children, how are you going to pay for a house in Sydney now the average price has hit almost a million dollars?” (Clarke, Ruby, 2015: June 28, “Teenage girls need to change themselves to affect the gender pay gap”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
When I see a role that is just perfect for me and of course will pay a full wage. Why is the money for child care seen to only be taken from my wage?
Why is child care seen as something that the woman needs to sort out in order to work?
Isn’t child care an issue for both parents?
Having an extra wage would help out the whole family and therefore it is an issue that the family need to address not just one person.
I agree that men need to take more responsibility for child care and help with this more. Some men do this and there is no issue here. However the more equal it is, the more easily women can re-enter the workforce and contribute to the family, society and build for their future as well as their families.
It is 2016 and sex is still seen as an issue regarding pay. I would have thought that this would not be the case.
I hope for my girls that this is not the case when they are older but I would have thought that it would have been already resolved by now. So I’m not holding my breath, however, I can live in hope.
As I have said before, gender is not an issue for pay. The only important issue is, can you do the job, and do you have the skills?
Pay for the role not because someone has a different anatomy than another.
Let me know your thoughts.
Thanks for reading my HUGE post about this issue!
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I am nearly 30 weeks pregnant with one baby. I am on the home stretch, and getting very over being pregnant. As per some of my other posts I don’t love being pregnant but love the outcome; a lovely new person that will add joy to our lives and household.
I have been spending the last month or two wondering what this person will look like, what will they want to be and do with their lives, will they be blondes like the girls or have darker hair? Will it be a girl or a boy? So many things to wonder and daydream about.
Pregnant and over it!
Aside from the nice thoughts about this future little person I have not had fun. Many of the normal side effects of pregnancy I find horrible and hard to handle. See my list of complaints and annoyances below:
Nausea
Throwing up
Not able to eat things that you usually did due to reflux
Tiredness to the point of exhaustion. You cannot keep your eyes open and your whole body is zapped of energy.
Sore breasts
Weight gain
Headaches
Breathlessness
Constantly uncomfortable
Finding it hard to bend over at all
If things are on the floor they tend to stay there as getting them is difficult
Now the latest in a long list of complaints is sore and wobbly legs and horrible hip and pelvic pain.
Leg cramps at night that hurt and make it hard to sleep
Hips throbbing at night making it hard to get any rest at all
I have had conversations with hubby about how I am feeling and he said, “What did you expect? You have done this before so you knew what it would be like.” Well all I can say is that the constant leg, hip and pelvic pain did not occur with the twin pregnancy and it is getting worse. At times I find it hard to walk and that is just around the house!
This pregnancy is completely different than the twins. I did have the same symptoms early on and was very sick and freaked that I might be having twins again. If we did we would have been happy with that but all tests have confirmed one person is in there.
I wish hubby could experience all the things that have happened during this pregnancy to give him an idea of what it is like.
“If men were constantly nauseous, had issues walking and were in constant pain, I believe they would be in bed waiting for it all to end”
I don’t think hubby could cope and I am not saying this lightly. He is a tough man and soldier’s on when sick, however pregnancy throws you a multitude of symptoms at the same time. You think you are winning at times, but fighting nausea, reflux, headaches and constant pain in the legs and hips all at once does your head in!
What a pity you cannot wave your hands and have hubby experience a month or a week of what you are going through? Would you have liked to have done this? I know I would love to. Pity I don’t have magic powers.
Even getting up and out of the lounge is taking forever now… yes annoying really! So quickly going to do something is not quickly anymore…. It happens when it happens.
I know he cares and he is making sure all is well in the house to prepare for our new addition. He is actually nesting more than I am. He is stressing out trying to get the babies room ready and concerned that we are running out of time.
His main worry is that my belly will get too big to help move some things around or help out. My answer to this is to ask one of our mates to come move stuff if that happens (Which I think might be the case)
Have you found that the second or third pregnancy different from your first or others? Have you had some annoying symptoms that have made things harder for you to do things? I am still active and getting things done just a bit slower than usual.
What has your partner said or done that has helped or annoyed you? Let us know.
The article puts all the emphasis onto women. It does take two to make a baby and men are part of this issue as well. Why are men not being mentioned or told to consider having kids earlier as well? They have issues with age as well and both men and women can have fertility issues when older. It is not just down to the woman to organise all this on her own.
I must say that men before 30 generally are not thinking of babies and the same for women. Some do and that is great, but others are out building a career, studying and the big thing that no one has mentioned is that the women that are being told to race off and have babies probably has not met the right partner to do this with yet. What do you do if you have not met the one yet?
I met my husband in my early twenties but we did not have kids till I was in my mid 30’s. We had a good life, I studied, worked at great jobs and was building my career. We did not want to have babies without firstly being married, having a house and enough money to allow one person to be out of work while looking after kids.
I find it rather interesting that the whole focus is on the woman and not looking at men as well. I did float the idea of having kids earlier but due to hubby wanting to make sure we were married first it got delayed. We waited a while to get married. I think we liked the idea of a long engagement and making sure it all went well.
Girls and women have so many more choices now than to instantly get married and be a mother. You can be a career woman and then a mother, and also both at the same time. I know that doctors are making sure that we are aware that our window of fertility will not last forever and of course if you wish to have children it is a good idea to think about when that might happen. However if you have not met your mate yet, how are you to get busy making the next generation?
Boys need to be taught that they need to look at this issue seriously as well. Women don’t need to take the whole responsibility for fertility for a couple, kids and family. It is something that a couple should do together, not a woman on her own.
When is there going to be high profile articles about men talking about not to delay fatherhood?
I do think that it is easy to think you have plenty of time and I thought that too. As said I was telling hubby that I wanted to have kids and that I did not want to wait. I even suggested having a kid before marriage! Yes this was terrible to mention to him. Oh well… we were lucky that we got married, and the kids did come.
One thing I did make sure to do with hubby when he was still the boyfriend: I made sure he wanted to have kids eventually. I did not want to be with someone that did not want children. It was important to me and if he did not agree then I told him that I could not date him. It sounds terrible to say, but you don’t want to be in a long term relationship and think that they share your views and thoughts, but only to wake up one day and realise that they never wanted children, But you do!
It is tough to figure out how you fit it all in. Kids, life, work and so on. It just works out whatever age you have children. Things just work out. You cope, you make do and you manage. I do think it wise not to leave it too late to have kids but the tough part was the timing with the partner and making sure they were on board with the next steps. If it was all down to women and we could have kids by ourselves then we can fixate on just them.
However I feel that part of the issue is that men are not on the same page as their partners or as said before you have not met the person who will father your children yet, and who knows when that will be.
What do you think? Do you think that men need to be part of this issue?
Do you think that it needs to be part of boys/girls education to understand about fertility and not leaving it too late if you wish to have kids? I do!
Women should not be the only sex that deals with this issue.
Did you know that many cancers and disease can be prevented. Keeping yourself healthy, well and in a good weight range can help minimise your chance of some types of cancers. Yes wouldn’t this be wonderful.
Pink Hope is a charity that is urging you to Make Your Own Pinky Promise with your BFF (Best Friend Forever or just good mate) to help improve your health and your mates health as well.
What is Pink Hope about?
Pink Hope is about taking control of your health and empowering you to learn about the facts, and the myths of prevention and detection of cancer. Explore the Pink Hope website and read about the myths. It is an interesting read. I learnt that Ovarian Cancer does give you symptoms and it is not silent as first thought. Many believed it was a silent killer and only presented at the late stage of the disease.
Did you know?
“Doing at least 1.25 hours of exercise per week has a benefit; every little bit counts. The more you exercise the more benefit you get.”
What do you do to keep yourself healthy and well?
I am including more movement into my day. Most days I do close to 10,000 steps or way over.
I make sure that I add a lot of bright coloured vegetables to meals. I have heard it is good to eat a rainbow so we do in this house, well I do try!
I have cut back on alcohol. I have limited wine to weekends and have a glass with dinner.
I make sure to have a yearly check up at the doctors to make sure that all is well with me. I get bloods done, breasts checked, skin looked and of course a pap smear. I try and do it around my birthday so that I remember. So I am due one now as my birthday was yesterday.
Bright coloured vegetables in our pasta sauce
What would your Pinky Promise be?
You have the chance to win a trip to New York City for 2. Yep that is right. You can take your bestie with you. Now that would be a fab way to relax and recharge. I would say that this is a good way to be happy and healthy!
This is what you can win!
Return flights for 2 to New York City
5 nights and a fine dining experience at the luxurious Soho Grand hotel
$5,000 shopping spree at the new Emma & Roe by Michael Hill NYC store!
Don’t fret if you are not the grand prize winner. There are 5 runner up prizes to be won. These are prize packs from KoraOrganics by Miranda Kerr worth $500 each!
So the action plan now is!
Find your bestie and make a Pinky Promise Now. Not only will you be healthier for doing so, you could also win a trip to New York City.
I have made a Pinky Promise and will maintain my healthy eating and making sure I do more exercise. I’m now accountable to my bestie for my promise. My bestie is my hubby. So hope that inspires him as well as it does me.
#BFFPINKPINKYPROMISE
Pink Hope would like more than 10,000 people to register their pledge before the end of May. I hope that we can help to get them to that number.
Disclaimer: I was approached to post about this campaign. I believe in being healthy for you and the family. I have young children and my main aim is to be around a long time so that I can be with them and see them grow up. I love anything that helps others and therefore have shared this wonderful campaign. I hope it inspires you and of course there is a chance to win a fab trip overseas as well.
Mother having fun with her child. She has more free time due to having a wife/housekeeper. Yes, that would be nice right! Image courtesy of Chaiwat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
I read with interest the article, “Modern Mothers Need A Wife” that was on Women’s Agenda.
I am a stay at home mother but like to try and fit in some work for my blog and other things. I also wish to try and earn some money while the kids are at school and don’t wish to be trapped to housework in my free time.
I do understand it needs to be done but sometimes, and lately, due to being ill it has not been done at all and some areas of the house very sparely, for example, the kitchen, bathroom and bedrooms. However a glance at the house in its current state you would think a bomb has gone off and no one has been here to clean up any mess at all.
In the article, it discusses Annabel Crabb’s new book, “The Wife Drought”. Women who have stayed at home as mothers and carers have supported the careers of men and I do agree that women do need the same if they are to climb the corporate ladder and keep the home front clean and tidy. Yes, it is hard when you have to physically leave the house and work long hours. As a woman if you do have a full-time job, you end up coming home to another full-time job, the house, kids, cooking, and more! It never ends.
I know this is sexist but I still find it in 2014 that men who come home from work seem to clock off and have a rest while they sit wondering what is for dinner, even though they might have got home before their wife. Why can’t the husband or partner organise dinner for a change? I don’t understand why due to me being the woman or the wife that I now have to cook dinner for everyone just because you have not been bothered. Does this happen to you? It is assumed that you will do it even though you have worked a full day, and to also organise everything else while he (it is normally a man so forgive me if it is different in your household) sits down with a beer to unwind and be left alone to relax.
Now if I had a wife, all this would be sorted. We don’t need to reference the role as a wife, but it could be a housekeeper or helper. The dinner would be sorted, the house would be tidy, and all things that you would normally fuss about after a hard day at work or out and about would be organised. No reason to stress, no reason to argue with your partner/husband/wife.
You can be happy and ready to start the day again knowing that all the things that helps make the house run is sorted! How good would that be?
I do have a friend that is now a stay at home dad. He does some jobs from home to keep his hand into what he is skilled at doing, but his partner earns a good wage and it made sense for her to be the person that worked full time and he would look after their baby girl. My hubby has always said that if I earn heaps of money he is more than happy to stay at home and care for the girls. We have just made a decision that was better for us financially and it is that he works while I look after the kids.
Have you thought if you had a wife helping you at home your world and things would be better? Would you be able to contribute and do more? Earn more money? Be happier and not so stressed?
My aim one day is to get a cleaner for the house as I hate doing it all and it takes so much time and energy. I never liked it before kids so this has not changed. I know being clean and tidy is necessary and helpful, you even feel better in a tidy room with no clutter. I do need to do a de-clutter so I am bad as have not done that as well.
When I have a little bit more money I am hoping to engage a cleaner to come to the house as I believe outsourcing some things will allow me to do more, be less stressed, happier and of course the fact that hubby and I will not argue over who has done what. The reason this has not happened is due to cost so that is why I am doing it all myself.
Are you like me and would like a wife to help you out? If I hired a wife I would need to pay them, however, I feel upset that all my work has been unpaid. Really not fair, but I suppose we have saved the money by not paying others so it is a saving in a way. I, of course, would not expect to have someone help without payment, but if you are the type of person that loves to clean and wants to do it for free I am happy to hear from you about a job opening.
Let me know your thoughts. Would having a helper with the house and kids help you? I know I would love it.
Do you have a housekeeper or a cleaner already? How has it changed your world? Send in your comments.
