I recently attendedThe Bloggers Brunchand had the opportunity to listen to Frank Caruso speak about his journey and how he has built such a successful business.
Frank explained how he had teachers that thought he was not bright and would not amount to much. He had doubters but he never kept on giving things a go. Frank Caruso’s talk was very motivational and made me think about my journey so far.
I had very similar things happen to me as a child. I was told that I was stupid. I would not be able to do this or that and I should just get an office job and forget about it.
Thank goodness, I was stubborn and did not listen to the doubters. I kept on plodding along and worked towards my goals.
Slowly but surely, I managed to get into the university I was drooling over. I managed to get in as a mature aged student. According to the universities mature age is from 20 years and older. I started my undergraduate degree at UTS (University of Technology, Sydney) when I was 23 years of age.
Frank invested in his health journey and was so passionate about it, it became a hugely successful family business.
Learning about Frank Caruso’s tips for success. In grade 3 one of his teachers told him he would never succeed at anything. Don’t let other people’s view of you dictate what you will become! This is one of the key points from Frank’s tips.
Hearing Frank talk at The Bloggers Brunch was inspiring and made me think of things I wish to achieve for my business and my family. Frank is contagious regarding motivating people about their dreams and passions.
It got me thinking about my health and wellness after I got home.
Since having kids, I want to make sure I look after myself. I want to be healthy and active for them, oh and myself as well.
I make sure to have good food, some exercise, rest, relaxation (although sometimes hard with a busy family), and time with the family to just be.
Part of looking after myself means that I make sure to get enough vitamins and minerals that my body will need to lead an active life.
Being a mum is tough job. You cannot afford to get sick (no sick leave, no sick pay, or nanny to come help) so being as healthy as you can is very important.
The kids and I in April 2016.
It is even tougher when kids get sick and you are the one that cares for them, dodging coughs, and snotty noses is next to impossible and therefore mum is the next one on the list to get ill.
Since having my last child, Alexander, I have noticed that my hair has been very dry and brittle. I don’t remember this happening after the twins. Maybe it did and I was so tired I never realised.
I mentioned this to the team at Caruso’s Natural Health and they recommended I try Super Collagen Builderfor Hair, Skin and Nails.
Super Collagen Builder for Hair, Skin and Nails from Caruso’s Natural Health.
I’ve been using the Super Collagen Builder for the last month and it seems to have made a difference to my hair. It appears softer, and not as dry. I will be continuing using this product to see what it does over a longer period.
I do eat quite well but like to ensure I’m getting the right vitamins and minerals with a multivitamin. I’ve been taking Women’s Super Multi. This is a multivitamin tailored for women on the go.
Women’s Super Multi by Caruso’s Natural Health
I take one multivitamin a day. I’m sure this has helped me feel better and allowed me to keep going when the kids have been unwell. This multivitamin helps you for all round health, heart, immune support, bone health, energy, stress and loads more.
Meeting Frank has made me see that I too can achieve what I set out to do. I already knew that health was extremely important and as a mum looking after myself is a top priority.
Not only will being healthy in my older years ensure that I am here for my kids but will allow me to lead a happier, and better life.
The inspirational and charming Frank Caruso from Caruso’s Natural Health. It was such a lovely thing to meet the wonderful man himself.
Have you met someone that has motivated you to be a better you? Frank Caruso is defiantly a person that encourages change in people. Frank is also proof that you should follow your passions and invest in you. The more you do this, the more successful you will be.
How do you make time for good health at your place?
Do you exercise with the kids?
Or maybe eating more vegetables and less refined food?
Let us know.
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Do you think it was an instantaneous thing? Well for some that happens, but for others it can take a while.
According to anational survey that interviewed 500 women,“seven out of ten mums think they are going to bond at birth with their bubs, but more than half find it takes much longer than that.
Pinky McKay a Lactation consultant has said, ‘baby bonding was “a bit like falling in love” Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it takes ages for the magic to develop. “(Herald Sun, July 24, 2016)
The national survey was commissioned by WOTBabywhich is an app that acts like a midwife in your pocket. It is a good tool for parents to consult and it goes up to six months of age.
The WOTBaby app was developed by Jen Hamilton who is a mothercraft nurse.
“In my experience, I generally find on average, mums truly bond with their child at four to five months,” Ms Hamilton said. (Herald Sun, July 24, 2016)
If you are not one of the mums that had the instant bonding moment then you might feel like it is a problem with you. Well you are fine! Trust me. Being pregnant, labor, birth, and now suddenly you have a new little person to care for. It is a BIG SHOCK to the system, and more so if you have twins or more.
The girls love their baby brother.
Depending on what happened during the birth and afterwards you could have very different reactions to your little bundle of joy.
Here are some things that could delay or not help with bonding:
New mum and overwhelmed. Tired or actually more like exhausted. (I was like the walking dead when I first had the twins. Up all the time to feed, change nappies and to also express breast milk. It was a big blur of feeling like I had no sleep)
Problems breast feeding. If your baby does not take to it or if you have difficulties it cannot help with the bonding process. (I had to express both times with the twins and now my little boy. We did try breast feeds but it did not work out well for us)
Getting Mastitis/ill. I got very ill with mastitis after having Alexander and ended up in hospital for about 3-4 days. I needed antibiotics intravenously and it was not fun. I had the baby with me but it was tough.
Premature babies/baby. In my case the twins were born 6 weeks early so they were taken to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) It was hard to bond with babies that were not with me all the time and the fact that they were confined to a humicrib made things difficult.
Still recovering from the birth. Depending on what type of birth you had you might still need to rest. This can make caring for a new baby more difficult and can impact on bonding.
Support network. Having a good support network is ideal. I know it is hard with everyone being so busy these days, plus living further and further away from each other. If your partner can allow you to have some down time, this can help you to recharge your batteries. It might be harder if you have older children and now a newborn. If people offer help accept it!Don’t put pressure on yourself. Everyone is not perfect. Although you look outside at others and they might appear to have it all together I’m sure they are worrying or annoyed about something. Things take time. Unreal expectations is not healthy and we have all done this, judging ourselves by what we think we should be like or doing. I say take your time. Do your thing and just keep going. You will learn the cues of your little baby, you will figure out what the grunts and gurgles mean. In time you will feel more confident about everything. Learning a new person takes time.
I took a while to bond with my darling twins. I loved them to bits but due to them being in the NICU, being super tired, first time mum, recovering from a very long birth (over 30 hours) as you can imagine things were hectic and I was just doing what I thought I was supposed to do.
After I had the twins the nurses at the NICU were ringing my room to ask me for breast milk. As I just had them and these were my first children the breast milk had not come in yet. Great more pressure. One baby was okay on formula until I got my breastmilk but the other little girl was on strike. She hated the formula and was listed as nil by mouth! Oh gosh….. More phone calls to my room asking for breast milk. More visits by nurses trying to play with my boobs to help me get breast milk and all while I struggled to keep my eyes open.
Since I was in a room on my own and the twins were in the NICU I was told to have pictures of them to help me with the breast milk situation. I did think at times it was all a dream. Did I have kids? Oh yes, I’m in a hospital. Yes I did. Where are they??? Oh that’s right they are in intensive care. It was a very surreal moment and one that I did not feel I could discuss with anyone else. I felt that I would be judged.
Mummy and the girls on the 27th of Sept, 2008. Katoomba Hosp. Julia on left, Lillian on right.
So as you can see my first experience was unique due to having twins as my first children. Now looking back to the birth with our little boy in January this year it was completely different. The birth and care was so much nicer and calmer… maybe that was due to one baby this time or the fact that he was born on his due date? Maybe it was also due to not having a full room of student doctors, nurses, and two doctors for each baby, extra support people and two humidicribs for the twins. Having one baby that was on time meant that I had one midwife, one nurse, hubby and me in the delivery room. It was so nice to not have a full gallery of people there.
Due to having one baby this time, also being a good weight and being born on his due date he was put on me after birth. This was a nice experience as it did not happen when the twins were born. It allowed me to have some time cuddling our new little person and to help bond.
I did find that due to some issues with our little boy not latching on the breast properly, and having silent reflux, being fussy about things it made the first three months rather difficult. He screamed the place down due to having air in his belly and it was hard to remove! I think with age he got better and therefore after about three months he was much calmer, and this made feeding and the bedtime routine easier.
Alexander and I on the day he was born. It was nice to have the first cuddles. Look at all that hair!
Another concern was how the twins would bond with the baby. We did not know if it was a boy/girl, although Julia wanted the baby to be a girl. She wanted to be the three sisters and have a picture taken at the Three Sisters at Katoomba. As you know we had a boy and the twins are so in love with their little baby brother. They help out and dote on him all the time, he is going to be a very spoilt little boy. My worries were for nothing. Did you do this when you had the second or third child? Stress about how the other kids would go with the new baby?
Our family is complete with our little baby boy and our twin girls. We love our kids to bits, and would not change anything. It took a while to get into the swing of things and that helped us learn everything about our three cheeky monkeys.
3 tips to remember!
Bonding is a personal experience. Don’t measure or judge yourself on what others are doing.
Don’t put pressure on yourself if bonding with baby is not instant. It can take up to six months or maybe more.
Don’t confuse not bonding with not loving your baby. You’re a mum, of course, you love your baby and the bonding will happen, so just relax and it will happen when it happens.
If you are experiencing postnatal depression/postnatal anxiety or having issues bonding with their baby contact PANDA on 1300 726 306. The hotline is open from 10am to 5pm.
Due to the launch of WOTbaby the topic of bonding with babies has been in the media. I was on Today Extra with Jen Hamilton discussing the issue.
I was also featured in an article by Smooth FM called, “When you don’t bond with your baby instantly”.
Let us know how you went with your first or second or third babies? Was it the same or different? How did you go?
Lately the house has been a mess. Things have been half done and never gotten back to. Why do you ask?
Well a crying baby that is the reason. He is needing cuddles, attention and of course for mummy to try and take the pain of teething away.
When the rare moment that he has slept during the day happens I try and do something, but he wakes and then the screaming and upset begins again. This now means that I have to stop what I am doing and be with the baby.
I have decided to just give up for now. If I get the washing folded and put away that will be a miracle.
Also if the vacuuming and maybe other areas of the house get a good scrub and clean that also will be amazing indeed.
Sometimes having a shower without the baby waking up is winning. Yes small things make me feel like I have achieved greatly.
I feel like I should get some toothpicks and try and prize my eyes open. I am getting sleep and the baby is sleeping better at night and for longer, but I am on edge. I keep on thinking I hear the baby cry and of course don’t have that deep lovely sleep as I am always on call for the baby in the night. I also have showers and believe that the baby is screaming the house down when of course the place is dead quiet. I’m sure I am not the only one that does this.
Toothpicks that might be helpful in keeping my eyes open.
My body is out of whack. My neck hurts and a good massage and hot bath is something that would be most welcome. Bring on the day spa experience….well I can dream can’t I.
Although he has been in pain and is out of sorts, he is still a very smiley and giggly little boy. Sometimes he does not know if he should laugh or cry when I am trying to help him with the pain of new teeth coming in.
I don’t know if it is a personality difference but the twins were not that bad when they were teething. They were in a bit of pain and discomfort but after taking the edge off with some painkillers they were right. Some cuddles, kisses and then they were off to bed and all was right. Our little boy seems to be upset all the time regardless of medication or sometimes cuddles. Is there a difference between how the sexes handle this? If you had a boy and then a girl were they different or the same when they got their first teeth?
I do really feel for him and how horribly painful it is. I am just very glad that he will not remember this experience. All I can do is to try and make him feel the pain less and to give him cuddles throughout the process. I’m not sure when he will get his first tooth but I hope it happens soon. The twins got theirs at about 4-5 months and some at 6 months.
It feels like there are few teeth wanting to make an appearance and it will be interesting to see what one happens first. I know the bottom teeth and the top ones are the teeth that generally happen first.
Have you had a week or two that whatever you plan or wish to do in the window of time you have to yourself you cannot get done? If so I feel your annoyance and I also understand that the little person is really needing you and me giving them hugs and attention at this upsetting time for them right now.
How did you get through your baby teething? Did you just give up on things around the house like I am doing? Did you have some help to get all the things done that need doing? Let us know.
Note: I am hoping that in the next few days he will settle down a bit so that will allow me to get stuck into the housework. You know when you get over it all and you clean angry. I find I get a lot done when I have this happen, especially when I need to throw out things, give items charity or just give things away.
You might be questioning my title. Knee Beards??? What the? You say.
Yes knee beards are a thing (You heard the term here first….I feel like now I should copyright it) and it got to a very hairy problem months after Alexander was born. I was still sporting some knee beards. Although I must say my legs are very nice (So I have been told) but having knee beards does not make them look very attractive.
If you don’t know what a knee beard is it is all the hair that grows around your knee region, if you don’t shave for a while it grows longer and maybe with pregnancy hormones this makes things even more longer and weird. Okay, you get the picture now.
A dramatic recreation of the knee beard. Yes it might be a little worse than it actually was but it felt like it looked this bad.
I finally took matters into my own hands and removed my knee beards but it took me two months of living with them to finally remove them. Why did it take me so long? Well as a new mum to a new baby, finding time for self care is hard. This is even harder when you have other children to care for as well. I cannot just swan in and have a bath and shave my legs. Nope. Sitting or lying in a bath to relax is difficult to impossible. My twins will then want to join me and therefore ruining the peaceful and relaxing state that I was attempting to create.
It was not just knee beards that needed my attention. Some of the other things that normally get waxed have been forgotten about or just left as it is in the too hard basket. My aim is to book time at the beauticians on a weekend this way hubby can mind kids and I can get some things done. After I have had some much needed beauty therapy I can then tackle the pool again in the aim to tone up and lose some of the baby weight.
My hair also needs some attention. I have noticed that it is rather dry and rough on the ends. This is probably not helping the fact that I am loosing hair when I brush or even when I shower. Yes hand fulls are coming out. Maybe this is due to hormones after having a baby? I hope so as I’m getting worried that I might soon be bald. So basically knee beards are the least of my worries really.
My out of control hair. Desperate to go to the hairdressers.
I think that I just need to have my hair cut and tidied, and I know it might not be good but a nice colour to jazz up my look might be in order. It would make me feel good and also much more glamorous. As a stay at home mum to three kids now feeling more glam is always a good thing.
Do you get time for a little bit of self care? A mani, or pedi?
Maybe a trip to the pool or the gym? Have you been to the hairdressers lately?
I am so keen to get my hair done I have thought about doing it with the baby with me. However I have stopped myself, I don’t want to be dealing with a crying baby while trying to relax.
This time will just be for me. My time to do something for myself.
Let us know how you fit it all in with everyone’s busy schedules.
Alexander is now eleven weeks old. Yes soon to be three months old, Oh how that has flown by already.
As anyone with a newborn knows you get up multiple times at night and feed, settle, cuddle, and of course change nappies. I also wash up bottles so that we have more for the next feeds. Lately the baby has taken to waking up at 2.30 or say 2am to want more food. I change his nappy and get him the milk and then feed him. He then falls asleep and then I put him to bed after some lovely morning cuddles.
Having snuggles with my boy.
Alexander then wakes again at 4am. He is screaming the place down so I do all the normal things, change his nappy and get more milk ready for the next feed. However it is this time that he decides that he is not hungry and just wants cuddles with mummy. I was snug and asleep in my bed before he screeched to what I thought was a hungry cry, but turned out that he just wanted cuddles. This is lovely but to wake up to give someone cuddles seems a bit annoying. I love the cuddles but I do LOVE my sleep and to wake up to then have to fall asleep again in the living room is a bit annoying to say the least.
I do try again to feed him but he pushes the bottle away and is content to just be cuddled. I fall asleep on the lounge as well as the baby. Hours pass and I finally wake to realise that I have been sleeping with my neck and body in an odd position. No wonder my body is out of sorts and everything hurts.
I sit in the living room looking around at all the things yet to be done and think about all the other things around the house that have to be done or have not been done or even thought of or even started. Gosh I’m exhausted just thinking about it all!
Why can’t I just sit and cuddle the baby?
Why do I have to get up and get stuff for people?
It is annoying that I have to leave the house but I do. Dropping kids at school and picking them up and of course all the after school activities that the girls go to. All I wanted to do was to stay in the house with my PJ’s on and just cuddle and be with Alexander.
During these early morning moments I have thought why can’t I be more in the moment? I love the cuddles, giggles and raspberries that Alex is doing but I still find myself drawn to all the other things that need my attention. Maybe this is due to having kids already? When I had the twins I had no pressure to be anywhere, I did not have kids before the twins so I could have the cuddles and just stay at home if I wished to. Now with older children it is hard to impossible to stay at home.
In the early weeks mums at the kids school commented on how it was great that I was getting out and about. It was nice to hear and I of course would have rather have stayed at home, but with kids at school I had to venture out. I suppose it was good that the kids made me go out with the baby but that quiet time just snuggling with your new baby is so nice and a pity that I have to get up to do the more boring things, like cleaning, shopping, clothes washing and more.
Also with older kids the house is much noisier than before. When the twins were babies I tried to have things super quiet when they were sleeping. I would even put notes on the front door in case of deliveries. Yes I was trying to make sure that who ever knocked on the door knew to be quiet or less noisy than they would be normally. I of course have not done the note on the front door this time, not due to not thinking about it but just due to never getting around to do it, and thinking about sleep rather than writing notes.
Did you find that due to other kids and commitments that you are not enjoying the lovely moments of the new baby as much as you would like? Let us know.
I need to just learn to switch off and to let go. I know it is hard but I need to. I think from the state of my house you would think that I have done just that, but I have been trying to tidying and sort things but it is always hard with a new baby. I get some things sorted and then have to leave it to be with the baby, then off course I don’t get back to the pile of clothes to fold and put away. Then I have to pick kids up from school, take them to after school activities and then when home do homework, dinners and more! Yes…. I think that is about it.
Letting go about now sounds good after reading all that I need to do!
Do you have some tips to just try and let go of all the things that need to be done? If you do have some great ways to let go of things that would be great to be shared also.
I know every baby is different and each one has a distinct personality. However I did not count on our third little person being so fussy and hard to settle.
Maybe he is a person who just likes things to be ready when he is. Yes impatient and wants it all to happen NOW! He must think why the milk is not ready when I am! Talk about bad service.
He is also a person that holds onto burps, farts and anything gassy or windy, so he has terrible belly pain. He makes such upset faces due to the horrible annoyance this can cause (I hate having a sore belly I cannot imagine how it would feel to baby that has no idea what the pain is.)
Upset and crying baby due to not being able to get the wind out of his belly. Also has to be upright due to having silent reflux.
Our latest addition is also a person that likes to be upright to be settled and does not like to lie down until he is finally winded, and finally all the gases get out of his body that can be coaxed, well within the 4 hour period of trying.
Yes you get the picture it takes ages to even get him settled and not yelling and screaming in your ear. I do think I will go deaf soon or have limited hearing on one side. I pray that this does not happen.
My new little man has a very good set of lungs and he uses them very well.
Some of these issues could be due to the fact that I am expressing my breast milk and therefore he is being bottle fed. Alexander did not latch on well at all and did not seem to get enough milk. When he was on the boob he would then fall asleep but also before this he would struggle to get on and yell and scream. This in turn would stress me out and also him and due to him not looking like he got anything we have turned to the bottles with breast milk to make sure that he is getting what he needs.
While in the hospital one midwife suggested the baby had a tongue tie. I asked what this was and she said that it is a piece of skin that is holding the tongue in a different position and not allowing it to move so that the baby can feed well and successfully. I thought that would explain it. However another midwife and nurse looked at the baby and dismissed it all and therefore it was agreed that the baby did not have a tongue tie. I ended up forgetting all about the issue of the tongue tie and just thought that I was not getting the breast feeding thing and the baby was learning as well and also just a fuss pot.
After we left hospital the community nurse came to the house to check up on myself and the baby. A lovely lady came and made sure we were all okay. She checked the baby and then announced that he did have a tongue tie. Oh gosh does he have a tongue tie and it got overlooked?
The lovely community nurse said it was a posterior tongue tie and it might be worth it getting fixed to see if it improves feeding and settling the baby. I was also told that it could cause speech issues when the child gets older as the tongue does not sit in the normal or ideal spot to form words and therefore makes it hard to speak. So good idea to get fixed. It is not yet known if it will cause issues with speech due to the baby not speaking yet, but there is a high percentage that if not looked at could cause problems.
I sprang into action. I got a referral to a surgeon at Westmead Children’s Hospital and raced there for our appointment for the tongue tie to get fixed. To get to the hospital on time I had to put the twins in before school care and also be up super early. I drove all the way and fussed over the baby when he was screaming the waiting room down while we waited for our appointment.
It was our time with the doctor now. He had no idea why I was there and looked shocked that I had such a young baby to see him. At the time of the appointment he was 4 weeks old. He is now nearly 10 weeks as I am writing this. I explained that I have been told he has a posterior tongue tie and that it is best to get it looked at now while he was so young. I also listed all the other things that the baby was doing and therefore it was other signs of having a tongue tie.
The doctor then said put the baby on the bed so that he could have a look and see what the issue was with his tongue. He did a quick once over and then concluded that he did not have a tongue tie and all was good. He said that there is nothing to cut and no issue! I mentioned what the community nurse said again to just make sure that it was right.
The surgeon then said, “It is just him then, he is fussy!”
So I have an opinion of a surgeon that rules out the fact of the baby having a tongue tie. However when I went to the local community nurse for Alexander’s 6 week milestone check she then told me without doubt the baby has a tongue tie! Oh please I wish people would bloody well make up their minds. Does he have it or not!
As a mother it is very confusing and annoying to have such conflicting views. What do you do? Do you continue to see someone for a tongue tie that a surgeon says is not there? Or do you just let it be. We have followed it up with our local doctor and have decided to see how baby goes as he gets older. Did you get conflicting information about your kids when they were little? How did you handle this?
As the local doctor pointed out; a surgeon has ruled it out so others will most likely do the same. Due to the baby always wanting to be upright we have discovered he suffered from silent reflux and found help with some medicine (Losec for babies) to treat this. I found that the medicine helped but first gave it to him during the day, however giving it at night time or just very late afternoon worked much better than during the day. There were some nights were I forgot to give it to him and he settled okay so we have decided to leave it, and think that it could be the fact he is getting older that things are settling even more. Although we have had some nights where the baby is just so over tired and out of sorts that he screams the place down.
I have found the following:
The baby likes to be wrapped.
Needs breaks during feeds and while having a break try burping and getting wind out of baby. You might get an angry face when you make the baby take breaks but it is well worth it.
If the baby does not drink all the bottle that is okay…. He/she is full and more might cause issues with upset belly and more wind.
Sit with your baby to calm them if they get the hiccups. Hiccups are the outcome of many of the upsets trying to deal with wind. Once hiccups are done and baby falls asleep again you can put him/her back to bed.
We have found that the baby likes noise and to be with people. We have put a digital radio in his room. It is on low volume and allows him to listen to Classic FM whenever he is resting. Not sure how this will influence him in the future but they do say that listening to classical music is good for brain development. We will find out when he is older, I’m sure.
Changing his environment when he is fussy. Take a walk out in the backyard, or just somewhere different is very helpful not just for the baby but also for you as well.
Make sure that the baby gets a bit of sunshine. Obviously not in the heat of the day and just a little time, say 10mins or less is good. It can help with sleep and also to it gives the baby some vitamin D.
If you have someone else in the house while you are looking after baby that is brilliant. If you have reached the end of your wits with baby then hand it over to the other person. Sometimes this helps as it is a distraction and the other person is not stressed or annoyed that the baby is not settling. The new person is calmer and can help settle baby.
Have you had a fussy or hard to settle baby? What are your tips and tricks to help the little person rest? (Or more like give you a break)
As per my previous post called, “Our latest Family Member”, we had to go to Nepean to have our third child. I did not want to go there due to what happened with the birth of the twins. However we had no choice.
Having birthday cuddles with our latest addition
We were finally at the hospital and due to the stress of the situation hubby parked in the car park. Yes I thought he would drop me off at emergency and go and park the car later. I asked why he did this at the time and he said, “Well, we are going to be here for a while”. Yes true but for someone that is finding it hard to walk due to constant contractions walking across a carpark to emergency to then be told to go to another building was not ideal to say the least!
Once parked hubby told me to get out of the car when I was ready. He had to wait a bit due to a contraction happening just as he opened the door. My legs were like jelly and I found it really hard to move due to the contractions making all my legs, pelvis and back go into spasms and just freeze. It was very painful, and I had to wait until they were over. So if you can imagine me walking then having to stop in the middle of the carpark every 5mins that would give you a picture of what it was like. Maybe a wheelchair from emergency might have been the way to go! This was arranged when I had the twins…. Although I think the race to get to the hospital freaked hubby out and he just lost it with the idea of a wheelchair and just wanted to get us to the hospital.
Once we figured out where we were supposed to be (the birthing suites or rooms) the nurses/midwives knew who we were due to Katoomba Hospital ringing ahead, which saved a lot of fussing about explaining everything.
I was then asked, “Would I like some pain relief?”
My response was YES! OF COURSE I WANT DRUGS TO HELP ME
Someone then said what would I like, and I then said, what do you have????
Yes open to everything and all if it helps make the pain go away!
I was offered morphine (I was told that I needed to use the gas to get the morphine injection. I found it interesting that I was having gas to therefore get another drug. The nurse said the injection can hurt a bit, and she was right. I think someone I mentioned this too said that it is injected into the muscle and that would explain why the nurse wanted me to be on gas to have the injection. I thought it was strange, but it did help a bit) and once that worked it helped a great deal. It certainly took the edge off the pain for a bit. Hubby said that once it started working I looked very out of it. I did not care! Bring on the medicine to make it not hurt as much. I am not a fan of natural birthing that you will feel it all. Even on drugs to take the edge off it hurt, so I can only imagine how horrible it would have been without them.
During this phase of the night I was telling hubby that I did not want to do it anymore, that I just wanted to go home and not be here. I don’t want to do it. Please can we go home I said? He just looked at me and said, “It is a little late for that” I know it was but I was scared and did not want to do what I knew was coming.
Why can’t the husband or partner do the subsequent child? I have visions of saying it is your turn. I then can hold his hand while he pushes out our child. Science has given us so much and maybe it can work on this. I know that men having kids will probably never happen but why can’t the baby come out small via your belly button and grow on the outside. Maybe a good idea???? (Maybe a futuristic idea) Not sure but might save all the bother of pushing a baby out of your bits…. Let me know your thoughts.
While I was still under the trippy and nice effects of morphine they prepped me for an epidural. Although before this happened I explained my fear of having it again and not working. When having the twins I had one and felt everything but could not move my legs. I was constantly asked by the doctors, nurses and midwives with the twin birth to move my legs but could not. I told them if they wanted them moved they would have to do it. Annoying that they never listened. I was hoping that this birth would be different.
I did not know what to do. I did want the epidural but did not want a repeat of what happened last time. I know that there can be no guarantees but I thought I would give it another go and hope for the best.
The anaesthesiologist listened to my fears and what happened last time as did the midwife. I then decided without a doubt to see if it will be different this time. I was told all the horrible things that could go wrong and the chances of it happening. I was completely freaked out. I still thought it was the way to go.
I had it done and the epidural started working. It was so good that I managed to fall asleep. Yes I slept while still having contractions. Who knew that this was possible? This epidural was completely different from the twin birth, I could not feel anything, I was blissfully unaware of anything for a long time, well until it started to wear off and the baby was pressing on my hip bone and pelvis and I could not get comfortable. I asked for more drugs… however they said that I could not have more and it was time to get the baby out.
The midwife told me that due to the morphine and the position of the baby that its heart rate was dropping and I needed to get it out as soon as I could. I said that I would do my best. She mentioned that we still had time and that it was not in distress yet, but if it went on any longer it could be and then they would want to make an executive decision on how they vacate the baby from my belly. Gosh, NO!
I did not want to have a C-section or have any unnecessary things happen unless it was life threatening, and I do understand if the baby is under distress but I was so close to having it happen naturally.
I tried to push while lying on the bed and sitting up a bit, but it was no good. I could not get comfortable and it was terribly painful due to the baby’s head on my hip and pelvic bone…. Very sore indeed!
It was suggested that I be on my side with a leg up in the air and to help reposition the baby… it did not help with repositioning but it was more comfortable to push from this weird acrobatic position. Not the way I was thinking it would happen and definitely not glam but childbirth is not a glam affair.
I was told to put my chin to my chest, hold my breath while having a leg up in the air all on my side. Yes a strange visual! I then had to hold my breath while working with the contraction and these contractions this time I felt over my belly and also to in my back but now I understand what contractions actually feel like. I found it hard to do all this while holding my breath. I had a terrible time as holding my breath made me want to pass out and I could not let out a sound or a grunt due to losing the momentum to push (energy or something with the breath). The midwife wanted me to do it in lots of threes so that we could get the baby out. Oh god, I found it hard just doing one!
After holding my breath I found that I wanted to throw up and they were concerned and I had a sick bag just in case. It did not happen but I felt nauseous and also had a bit of reflux during the whole process of holding my breath to try and get baby out.
During all of this a doctor came in to see how progress was going. I think the midwife wanted the doctor to check in to make sure that we had a backup plan if baby went into distress and needed help to come out. GOSH, now the doctor was talking about forceps and other things…. I hated the salad servers last time and due to the epidural not working I felt everything…. It was like I was being killed. I did not want that ever again.
The doctor left and then the midwife and nurse were talking about cutting me. WHAT THE???? YOU ARE GOING TO DO WHAT NOW?
They said that it would help the baby come out. I said no PLEASE DON’T CUT ME. I ended up negotiating them to give me more time to get the baby out.
I did not want them to cut me. No please no!
They were very keen to give me an episiotomy but I had no idea that is what they were wanting to do. I just did not want to be hurt even more if not needed.
I was so determined to get this baby out now! Hubby said you need to get the baby out. I got angry and just pushed and pushed and pushed. I was nearly passing out due to holding my breath and my acrobatic poses but I was on a mission.
The midwife yelled, wow we see a head full of black hair! Oh gosh, really this baby is going to have darker hair? I thought it would be like the girls and be bald and blonde, but you never know right. We still did not know if it was a boy/girl that was still a surprise. I however knew once I got told the hair colour that it was a boy, I just had a feeling. Strange but true. Hubby said that it could be a girl, but I just had an inkly at this stage that it was a boy.
I kept on pushing and then baby was out and here in the world. The midwife and nurse said that they should have threatened me with the doctor and episiotomy hours ago.
Alexander and I on his birthday
I was lucky that all went well, I could do it all naturally and that I did not get cut! Yes very lucky indeed. Maybe getting angry was the magic ingredient.
In comparison to the twin birth it was much nicer. We only had the midwife a nurse and hubby and myself in the room. With the twin birth we had 2 doctors for each baby, a humidicrib for the baby and about 30 or so trainee doctors it felt. The room was packed and it was crowded. I did not have any stupid things that happened before happen this time. When was about 5cm dilated and in the birthing suite waiting to have the twins I had two doctors come in to tell me it would be great if I could wait till I was 36-38 weeks….talk about stupid! I also had nurses try to give me medicine I did not need after I had the babies and the list continues. This did not happen with the birth of our third child.
I was very upset to not be able to have our last child at Katoomba Hospital but was grateful that the experience was better and nicer than the last. I must say that pushing a person out of you is hard and tough, but the ladies that helped us for the birth of our son made it a more calmer process. So thanks so much to you all. One thing that was a bit weird was that the midwives that helped me had the same names that I had. The night before the baby was born the midwife on duty had the same first name, then there was shift change and the next midwife had my middle name. It was like I was meant to be there. Odd indeed.
What was the birth like for your second or third children? Did the process and what happened differ from your first child?
Was it more of a calmer experience with the second or third child compared to your first? Let us know.
Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I will be 38 weeks pregnant. I have never been this pregnant and as you might imagine I am getting annoyed. Annoyed at everything and everyone. Yes sad but true. I did think that the baby would have arrived by now and due to having twins early I am so over it and trying things to evict this little person from my body. However anything I do has not been met with labor starting or even waters breaking so back to waiting and getting bigger and more annoyed as the days progress.
C’mon Baby….. you have been told your days are numbered. You need to vacate my belly!
I have also had strangers put their hands on my belly and tell me what I am having due to the shape of how I’m carrying. This did not happen last time and it has taken me by surprise. I don’t like it and was not sure what to say. I know they all mean well but I just don’t understand why my belly is suddenly everyone’s property? Did that happen to you? Many have told me that I’m having a boy due to the way I’m carrying so should be interesting when we find out.
I saw that Michelle Bridges had her baby on the weekend. I thought we were due around the same time. Maybe she was a week or so ahead. I have no idea. Now I’m thinking that maybe I should have been doing more squats to make this baby come. Since hearing of the birth of Michelle Bridges little boy, I have added more squats into my day just in case. Well you never know right?
Another frustration at the moment is that I have a sore throat that I got from one of the kids. Yes I don’t feel very well on top of being pregnant. It is not that bad, just feeling generally unwell and a head cold, but it does not help as all I want to do is sleep. Annoying really especially in summer. Oh well. I have been taking vitamins, and sucking on lozenges to ease the symptoms and make myself feel better. Teas and juices as well.
All Christmas presents are wrapped and many are under the tree (I wanted to make sure it was all done just in case I was in the hospital and having the baby). The kids ones will go under the tree tomorrow due to sticky little fingers and curious minds that might spoil surprises before the day. Do you put the kids presents under the tree before Christmas Eve? Or are you like me you make sure that no one can mess with the presents?
Christmas Presents all done and wrapped. Phew!
On the excitement end we had a family friend do the ring test to see if the baby is a boy/girl. As you know we have not found out the sex. Some people think we know and are just not saying, but we really have no idea and birth will be the only clue as to if the baby is a boy or girl. This test was done at a BBQ with family and friends. The room was quiet and everyone was very curious about the test and the results. From this test it looks like we are having a girl. Not sure but thought that I was having a girl as I felt the same with the twins this pregnancy, however I did think I was having a boy last time and was very wrong, I ended up with two lovely girls.
I have done the Chinese Gender Prediction and they say that we are having a girl also….but you never know it could be a boy. We are not fussed and just hope that the baby is healthy and happy.
I put some clothes in suction bags to keep them in case, and then I could not find them. Very annoying. However I finally found the clothes. I still need to go through the draws as I need to put things in sizes so that it is easier to find. I’m glad the clothes were found as I did not buy much for the baby due to already having clothes that I could not find. So happiness all round with this win!
We are all curious about what the new little baby will be like and when it will decide to be here. My hospital bag has been packed for a while and we are all ready if it happens now. Maybe I should take my hospital bag with me on my travels for Christmas Day? Not sure, but it might be a wise idea. At least I will have it if I need it.
I have also been drinking some Raspberry Leaf Tea to make things easier for birth. I have been doing this for a while now. I suppose it can’t hurt right? The night before my waters broke with the twins I had two cups of this tea and then the next morning at 4am my waters broke (33 weeks pregnant with twins), I was hoping that it might have the same affect with this pregnancy but it has not been the case. Maybe it was just the right time for the other pregnancy and plus having more than one child would have made it happen earlier.
The kids are super excited about Christmas and the baby in their view is taking a back seat. I think due to the baby not being here it is not a reality for the kids yet. Once born I’m sure there will be much more interest. I do understand that for kids Christmas is super exciting and much more interesting at the moment.
The decorated Christmas Tree – Not mine but it looks pretty doesn’t it.
I cannot wait to see their faces when they get their presents. I do love Christmas as much as the kids. I love getting surprises, and getting up early on Christmas Day seems to happen to me as well as the kids.
Were you pregnant over Christmas? Were you concerned that you would have the baby on Christmas Day? If you were pregnant were you super annoyed and frustrated that the baby had not come yet?
New mummy cuddles. Both mummy and baby are tired. Image courtesy of papaija2008 at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
When I had the twins I was so exhausted. Yes I am sure you can imagine. I had over 30 hours of labour that the doctors and nurses thought was not happening and of course it went on forever and ever! I just wanted to go to sleep. This could not happen. I had the first baby and blanked and forgot for a while that I had to do another. Silly really, but this is what happens when you are sleep deprived and physically exhausted and have mentally left the building as well. I am sure I am not the only one that has done this. (Let me know if you did this too, well if you had multiples)
After I had the babies, they of course went straight to intensive care so I tried to catch up on much needed rest in-between doctors/nurses visits and the NICU ringing for breast milk that I had not made yet! OH GOSH THE PRESSURE!
Once our stay in hospital was over and I was finally home with my two precious bundles of joy and I was of course super tired and zapped of energy. Thank god I cooked and froze dinners for three months to help. More on the blog later about that. I will share some of my favourite meals I froze and what made it easy in the first three months home with new born twins.
One thing that was clearly apparent soon after having the twins was that I was constantly bending over and this in turn was making my neck, shoulders and back ache. This was very annoying. I loved being with the babies but since I had to feed them and at times ended up in awkward positions it of course was not good for me. Has this happened to you?
Not only did I ache, I had to keep on doing the same activity that made me sore! OH how annoying. What can be done you ask?
I went to the gym and found that they did not focus enough on exercises that stretch your body the other way. For example if you are constantly bending and leaning over, why can’t we stretch backwards? Have more movement with stretches that allow you to move the other way rather than constantly putting pressure on the part that hurts or is causing an issue.
Here are some great exercises to help the back, neck and shoulders (Note, this is just what works for me and I am not a fitness expert):
This is one of my favourite exercises. It makes my shoulders feel so much better. Image courtesy of stockimages at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Backstroke. Swimming backstroke stretches and flexes the muscles that you are not using that much and it feels great as your body is having the other side exercised. This I find helps me feel more balanced and helps my neck and shoulders.
Yoga. Stretching and relaxing with yoga no matter your skill level I find very beneficial. You can either go to a class or have a DVD at home so that you can do it at a time that is easy for you to add to your routine. If your kids are older maybe get them to join in. If your child is still a baby sneak in a relaxation session while they are sleeping if you can.
The cat pose, the tree and the spinal twist ones are my favourite. Not sure if I have listed them correctly but hopefully you know what I mean. I also like the mediation relaxation on the floor at the end. It helps centre you and makes me more relaxed.
Stretch your arms. I like to put my arm on a door or wall. Then I lean the other way so this gives you the stretch on the other side of your body. I do this to both sides and then it makes all joints and arms feel much more relaxed.
Meditation. I find a small window to meditate with nothing going on. I know this is hard if you have a house full of kids and activity. I do find that the times the kids are at school I take a part of my day to just sit still and do nothing. I like listening to the stillness, the quiet and just love it. No one yelling, “Mummy!, can you come here!” Sometimes it just takes those moments to make my shoulders and neck relax and it makes the difference to a calmer and more peaceful day.
Walking. I know it is not exactly exercising the back, neck and shoulders, but it is low impact and it gives the body movement and takes you to a different environment where you can breathe in the fresh air and relax. Don’t under estimate a good walk around the block or say around the park.
Aqua Aerobics. I love this form of exercise. Not only is it good for your joints being low impact, you are doing more as you have to use the water as an added weight that helps you tone up and get fit. You can push yourself as hard as you like or take it easy depending on your fitness level.
I like most mums don’t take enough time for themselves and I should. It is hard to fit it all in and I hope that some of these tips might help you. It will soon be daylight savings and I cannot wait. More daylight, in warmer weather to be outdoors.
NOTE: I am not an expert in exercise. Check with your doctor if these are right for you.
Do you find that exercise programs don’t have stretches to help with the fact that we are bending and leaning over more? I do! I feel that we need to focus more on posture, relaxation and stretching. If we did more of this we might not be having such ailments like headaches due to neck pain and so on. I suffer most from headaches due to tension in my neck.
Let us know what you do to relax and make the aches go away. I must say a massage and a weekend away does wonders also, however does not happen often.
