The other day one of the girls walked into the kitchen bawling her eyes out. She was so upset she could hardly tell me what the issue was. Once she calmed down a bit I finally learnt what the problem was.
I did initially think that she or her sister had hurt themselves and we might need to take a trip to the hospital. Thank goodness it wasn’t the case.
The kid who was extremely upset told me that she was very sad that Amy Pond and Rory had died. For those that are not aware of these names or characters, they are in Doctor Who. Yes my girls take after hubby and I with their love for the Doctor.
Amy Pond and Rory Williams, from Doctor Who. Image found on Pinterest.
I tired so hard to make her feel better but she kept on saying things about Amy and Rory like they were real people…… OH gosh… what do I do now???? She is a sensitive little bunny and these things upset her. I was like her as a child.
Yes there are moments that I get frustrated at behaviour and then realise that I am exactly the same. Do you do this too?
One thing that I did say was how about we watch the next episode to see what happens….So I will do that with her to see what happens next. From memory all works out well….but she does not know that.
Although I was shocked at her attachment and upset for the characters of Doctor Who, I had to think back to what I did when I saw this episode for the first time.
I did the same thing. Yes I cry and get very upset. I do the same thing when one doctor dies and he morphs into a new person…. I get to love and like the doctor and I don’t want them to change at all…However it does change and therefore it means more upset from me and now from one of my girls.
It got me thinking about that saying “That awkward moment when you find yourself being frustrated with your child…For behaving just like you.”
I am getting annoyed that she gets upset easily…however I have completely forgotten that I do the same thing. It is major to a child if their favourite characters die in a show or a book. It is very upsetting as an adult too.
I made sure that we had cuddles and kisses and talked about it, she felt a bit better after some nice mummy cuddles.
Have you had moments that your little ones have pushed your buttons to then realise that their behaviour is exactly like yours? Let us know what happened.
I was invited to an intimate ladies lunch. It sounded nice and lovely. In the city for a lunch all by myself, well with a baby so that was not that bad. However I was at the lunch to talk and to learn about the vagina. Or as some people might refer to as the front bottom, the vajayjay or their bits. I’m sure there is more slang to refer to this amazing body part.
The event was hosted by the charming and delightful Dr Ginni Mansberg and the great team from Vagisil, and also the darling Claire from Birds of Prey in Melbourne. The lunch was to learn about a topic that not many people discuss and to bring real world examples by having a frank discussion with other ladies over brilliantly yummy catered lunch.
I of course thought the lunch sounded fab, but I was rather hesitant in talking about the vagina. Why I thought? I am grown woman. I have now had three kids and of course as anyone can attest that during childbirth everyone seems to want to take a look at your vagina, and it is not something that you wince at like you once did before kids. I still don’t like all the doctors interest but you can understand it as the baby has to get out, and of course it is lovely vagina that gives it a helping hand – See an amazing body part!
My bubbles and lovely flowers at the lunch thanks to Vagisil.
I wondered how intimate this lunch would get? Would there be mirrors passed around so that I and others can look at our own vaginas? Would there be puppets of vaginas so that we can learn about where it all lives and how to care for this brilliant part of the body. I know that sounds very strange but I had no idea what the lunch would be and knew the topic was vaginas so it did get my brain racing.
Look how pretty the table was for our amazing lunch and great company. Thanks to Vagisil for the great event.
As I mentioned I was hesitant to attend, I thought for a long time. Why am I so worried? The vagina is not a bad thing. It is a marvel. Men and boys seem to be super proud of their penis so why shouldn’t girls and women be proud of their vaginas (Maybe there should be a proud vagina movement. If there is one already I had no idea). The more women talk to other women about what is normal and happening to them, the more they will understand it is okay.
In the end the lunch was nice. I met some lovely ladies, had amazing food in a fabulous location (It was at The Grounds in Alexandria, Sydney. If you have never been you will love the place. It was HUGE, a hidden little Mediterranean like farm in the middle of the city. They had farm animals for kids to look at and such an amazing amount of greenery.) All my concern over the topic of the lunch was not to be. It ended up with interesting conversation from Dr Ginni and then others joined in so we all learnt more. Very enjoyable!
Did you know?
“An astonishing 1.8 million Australian women suffer with vaginal dryness. That’s close to 1 in 4 of us.”
Take the quiz to learn more.
I too had to answer these questions while at my lovely lunch. I also learnt that I knew more about the vagina than I thought. Amaze yourself and see how much you already know.
How well do you know the vagina?
Take this quick quiz to learn more about the vagina. Questions are the same ones that I had on my ladies lunch with the lovely Dr Ginni Mansberg and the fabulous team from Vagisil.
The vagina should be acidic?
Yes
No
It’s normal to have a discharge from the vagina?
Yes
No
A smelly vaginal discharge means a STI
Yes
No
Nasty bugs thrive in a moist vagina
Yes
No
Douching is the best way to combat a stinky vagina
Yes
No
The best treatment for a dry vagina is washing with soap
Yes
No
You shouldn’t use hand or body lotion to moisturise the vagina
True
False
Only older women suffer with vaginal dryness
Yes
No
Vaginal dryness can be caused by performance anxiety, stress, menopause, hormonal imbalances, exercise, using perfumed soaps and body wash, wearing certain underwear can cause vaginal dryness.
Yes
No
Have you ever had a dry vagina?
Yes or No – This is a personal question that depends on you.
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For those who said yes, what do you think was the cause? (performance anxiety, stress, menopause, hormonal imbalances including breastfeeding, exercise, using perfumed soaps and body wash, wearing certain underwear)
It could be anyone one or a combination of all of the above.
undefined
Have you ever had bad vaginal discharge?
Yes or No – This is your own personal answer again.
undefined
Australians are having as much sex as they would like.
Yes
No
Half of vaginal dryness sufferers don’t use any products to relieve their dryness
True
False
“A study found that of the 1.8 million women who suffer from dryness…
31% experience it more than once a week
17% experience it every 2 or 3 weeks
51% don’t use any product to treat it”
If you are one of these women that do get vaginal dryness then Vagisil has a solution for you. They have created a new product called Vagisil ProHydrate Plus Internal Hydrating Gel, this new product mimics a woman’s natural moisture and offers relief for up to three days. As you will see from the quiz, vaginal dryness does not have anything to do with age. It affects all ages. It could be as simple as stress, medicines that you are taking that throw off your internal pH levels, soaps, body washes, tight clothing, hormonal imbalances and menopause.
Vagisil have created some fabulous health videos which is a brilliant free resource. They feature Dr Adelaide Nardone who answers your questions about why pH matters, causes and also gives you helpful remedies.
This lunch really made me realise that I too was afraid of talking about the vagina. How do girls and women learn what is supposed to be normal if we never discuss it with our daughters, mums and friends. You can see from the statistics that there is a lot of women out there that are not talking about this issue.
A close up of the pretty flowers at the lunch.Dr Ginni Mansberg, Kimba from Kimba Likes and of course me at the lunch.
Be kind to you.
Make sure you talk to your friends, your doctor about any changes that you notice.
Don’t suffer in silence.
Don’t be in pain.
Live life well and if you need help get it.
Shelly Horton and Dr Ginni talk about all the things you are worried about.
“Additionally, research shows that vaginal dryness is most likely to affect women during sexual activity. Among the women studied …
76% experienced dryness during sexual activity
69% found dryness most bothersome during intimacy”
The yummy desserts at the lunch. I had to have all 3…. Yes naughty I know.
Do you discuss things with mates? Or family? If not are you more comfortable talking with your local doctor?
Have you noticed that there is a generational change with this topic? Maybe your older relatives will avoid any topic that has vagina in it and the younger ones are not bothered?
Let us know what has happened to you.
Thanks so much to Claire and Vagisil for the invite to this great event. I had a great time and learnt a lot. I hope you have as well.
Do you feel that you are racing around just to get everything done? Does it always seem like a mad rush?
Well if you can say YES to this I hear you.
I have felt like this for a while now that I am running around trying to get everything done and not really get much done at all.
Taking time for you and to enjoy your own company is great. I love the silence and peace that this gives me. When I get to do it. Image found on Pinterest.
Things that have been done:
Kids cared for
Kids taken and picked up from school
After school activities organised, paid for and driven kids to and from them
Cared for baby
Shopped for food and essentials at supermarket
Got birthday present for my mother in law
Washed clothes and now trying to fold and put them away
Cleaned kids room about million times. No point with this one as in seconds it is back to the destruction it was in before it was tidied up
Cook dinners for everyone
Pack lunches for kids
Check the mailbox for important mail (mainly checking for birthday presents to arrive, oh and a wedding anniversary gift)
Make sure that all excursions have been paid for and notes signed
I know there is more to add to this list but some things are a blur so I might have forgotten something important.
Just relax and breathe in good vibes….. and breathe out bad vibes! Image found on Pinterest
Racing around in the window of time that I have to myself never seems to get everything done. I did try and tidy up the bathroom in-between hanging clothes on the line. However I had to have the baby in the garden with me so was keeping an eye on him while doing some jobs.
When I get some time for me to just sit in silence and not race around I feel a little on edge. I think this is due to being on the go all the time and the constant activity and noise of now three kids. Sometimes it takes a while to just chill out, relax and just be.
I currently have a very sore neck and shoulders; It is rather painful. I tend to hold all my annoyance and stress in my shoulders, jaw and neck. I have tried massage, hot showers and the chiropractor. Maybe I need all three? Or a nice Queensland holiday that allows me to be on the beach, sleep in and rest might be just what is needed.
How do you try and relax?
I try and watch some of my favourtie television shows or go for a walk on my own. Yes walking all by myself without kids is great (I need to wait till a weekend to do this as hubby needs to mind the kids). I also like to take myself off to a cafe for brunch or maybe to the movies to watch a film that I have wanted to see.
The Child Development Institute has a great list to help parents manage their stress. Why not check out some ideas that might help you next time or now if you are needing some relaxation time.
Taking the time to relax is very important. It is good for your health and of course relationships.
Do you find it takes more time to relax than it used to? I truly believe due to being constantly on the go it takes the body more time to rest and de-stress. What about you?
I know it is hard but I do think we need to cut back on things and activities. I would just love to come home after school pick up and just be. I have also tried to make things a bit easier for me by doing some organising the night before. This means less stress in the morning and an easier start to the day. How do you make things easier for you when you are extremely busy?
Yep although I have my worries and annoyances, I have so many blessings that I am very grateful for. Image found on Pinterest.
Watching early morning infomercials is dangerous. Due to being up at odd hours with the baby I ended up having the television stuck on a channel with non stop infomercials.
Since he was screaming his head off I immediately put bottle in mouth and then realised that the telly was stuck on a channel I did not want.
I could not fix it.
I ended up watching two long commercials.
I thought how silly it was that I was watching this type of television while feeding the baby.
What has the world come to? A housewife, feeding the baby and now watching infomercials. Yes I have succumbed.
I thought I was winning and doubted the stories and information. I did tried to not be swayed by the propaganda.
However…… I was turned and suddenly started to think that these two products were okay and maybe we could seriously use them in our house. Oh NO! What was happening? Geez early morning telly is dangerous. I’m glad that I was too sleepy and of course I was out of reach of a credit card.
My new mop….. I wonder if it will work like the one I saw on the infomercial?
The sales job had even worked in the early morning hours all between cuddles, burps and spitting up from a baby and not me…. Yes I know you might wonder after this sudden announcement that I have been swayed after just watching two commercials in the early morning hours.
You might wonder what products that I thought were so amazing. Below are the two products that wowed me:
One was this brilliant mop that has a swivel head and the head of the mop can detach to be cleaned in the washing machine. Just brilliant I thought. No need to buy replacements you need to just wash it. Also some areas are hard to reach with the mop that we currently have and if the head or parts move around then it would work so much better. The mop also had a spinner thingy bob in the bucket that allows you to spin out the yucky water and magically be left with clean water for your next go at mopping the floor.
The other product was the painter rollers. The roller actually has the paint in it so every time you roll the paint on the wall or whatever you are painting you don’t need to keep on topping it up. It works well and the paint lasts for a while, well the infomercial told me it did. I know you have to add paint to the body of the paint roller but it looked like a brilliant idea.
Watching this type of telly is very bad when you are sleep deprived and also cannot change the channel. I could not stop thinking about the mop and thought it would be a good thing to have. While I was shopping for something completely different at BigW I saw the same type of mop for sale. I’m sure it was called something different on the infomercial and was more expensive but could be wrong. It was early morning and I have found that I have not remembered much other than the baby is fed and going back to bed (I do love my sleep).
Since I saw this great product for sale I had to give it a go. I have meant to use it but due to the baby being up and down all week, I have not had a chance. I plan to do it this week. Take the new mop out of the box and see if it is indeed the bees knees of mops.
Have you been sucked into infomercials and thought what they were selling looked fabulous? Please let me know I’m not the only one.
During the last week of the school holidays I bumped into one of the twins teachers. The girls were off at vacation care and Alexander and I decided a nice take away cup of coffee would be a lovely idea. The teacher from the kid’s school was in line ahead of me for the same thing. While we were waiting we got chatting.
During our chat we were remembering playing with LEGO when we were younger as I mentioned that the kids and I saw the LEGO movie again (It was mainly to show their nana, my mum the movie. I love it as it is so funny. Especially Batman’s death metal song). We seemed to share some of the same experiences as kids. She then said she was old and I said, “No! You are not that old!” She then told me her age. I replied saying that I was only a year younger than she was.
This admission from myself about my age seemed to shock this woman. She must not have thought I was in her age range. Oh well many people don’t pick my age and that is fine with me. My mum and nana went for years having people think they were much younger than they actually were. Maybe it is in the genes.
Alexander and I at the park
This lovely lady then told me this, “You’ve kept well”
I was very grateful to hear this and it is nice to have this said to you.
However it got me thinking about the phrase “You’ve kept well”, it made me think I have been enclosed in a Tupperware container and not had air get to me to retain my freshness.
I have also been told lately that I look like I was getting younger by another mum from the school. She mentioned that the baby has worked its magic and made me look young. WOW who knew this would be the case (Wouldn’t this be nice. Every child you have you get magically younger…. like a youth elixir. If only this was a thing).
I wish my hair would get with the program and stop falling out since the birth of our little boy and that my body would instantly look as good as it did pre-pregnancy. It has only been four months since I had my little boy so I will not put too much pressure to look fabulous body wise. If I get a walk or some exercise, or even time to just relax it is a good day.
Like everyone, I feel old some days and others I feel great and younger than I should be, I suppose it is dependent on my mood. Exercise makes me feel much better and more relaxed, however with kids it is hard to fit in. I do try though and have been taking walks with the baby in the pram. I just hope that the weather continues to be nice for a bit longer to allow me to do this.
Have you had some lovely compliments from friends, family or just strangers about how you look or something else? People saying nice things regardless of who they are is always welcome. It makes me feel wonderful and puts a big smile on my face. What about you? I also love to do the same for others as well. It is nice to make someones day.
Do people get surprised when they learn your age? Do you find that it changes things when they find out? I have friends of all ages and find that age is not an issue. Let us know.
Picture this. I am up at 3am or so. I’m feeding my baby boy.
While I do this I like to have the television on with the volume on low to maybe muted so that I can have some light in a very darken room, plus it does help while I get the baby back to bed as this can sometimes take hours.
Meghann wants all the perks of maternity leave but without having any kids!
I had not heard of this person and also about her idea of meternity leave…. I have obviously been having too much fun on my magical holiday with my new born baby.
Mummy cuddling her baby.
One point Meghann made was that parents left work on time to go home to their kids. Well she can do this too. Meghann can make a point of leaving on time to go home or to meet with mates after work. She does not have to have kids to do this.
I know that putting in extra hours at the office shows that you are keen and want to do more. However this can also not be helpful to you as you will be stressed out and might burn out due to the extra hours. Maybe the extra hours are the issue… if Meghann left on time she might not want meternity leave?
I was so intrigued and amazed I increased the volume on the television but was very conscious this might delay getting the baby back to sleep. I had to learn more about this weird idea.
Well I have a nasty shock for you Meghann, maternity leave is not an exotic holiday.
It is not a time that you can just do whatever you want, although it would be nice. You are caring for a new little person that relies on you for everything.
The reality is that you are on call 24 hours a day and also 7 days a week. No sick leave, no pay, and no help really. It is just you.
When you bring home your bundle of joy you are most likely still exhausted from childbirth, you are sore and just feeling like shit actually. Although you feel horrible you still love the fact that you had the baby and think it is amazing and also a fabulous experience.
However all the lovely fuzzy feel good stuff cannot erase the whole thought and feeling that you would really like to be left alone and have a HUGE SLEEP ALL ALONE! This to date has not happened yet….I’m still waiting. Maybe I need some meternity leave now to have some time for me. This way I will get this long anticipated and wanted sleep.
I am not sure what Meghann means by perks of maternity leave?
Is it getting up at all hours to feed a baby?
Is it being extremely sleep deprived that you mix up dates and times. In reality you are really like a zombie…. I’m sure you know what I mean.
Maybe getting thrown up on when the kids are sick? I have had this times two.
Oh….. Wait maybe it is the fact that as the mother you are now the primary caregiver and you cannot get anything done without a little person or people following you around.
I do think it is wonderful that I have had three lovely little people and I feel blessed that we could do that. I also do understand that some women don’t want kids and that is fine too.
However to make out that maternity leave is like a glamourous vacation is just not so. How about you try and spend a day or even a week with me and that idea will be crushed in seconds.
Housework
Never getting to finish tasks
Being constantly interrupted
Cleaning
Washing and sorting clothes
Getting kids to school
Caring, feeding and all things baby. I do love my cuddles with our new little person and of course his lovely giggles and smiles.
Dropping kids and picking kids up from school
Taking kids to after school activities all with the baby…. Yes waking him up for everything is annoying but I have no choice
Getting the kids to do their reading, homework and other things for school. Now this is such a drama as they really don’t want to do this. I try and do this all while trying to settle and get a baby to bed, while the older two are having arguments and being loud and annoying
Do you think it sounds like there are fabulous perks yet? The only perk that I can come up with is that I have three little people that make me feel great when sometimes I don’t. They love me and I love them to bits.
I agree that everyone needs me time.
Everyone needs to be able to recharge their battery so to speak. Some downtime, a chance to chill and to refocus and maybe get the creative juices flowing again.
I don’t think that asking for time out to help with study, work or just to have a break is a bad thing. However trying to say that maternity leave is a perk is just wrong.
One place I worked for factored in some time to just be creative in the workday. This creative time allowed the staff member to explore other areas of interest, maybe learn something that would help them in their role or allow them to work on a pet project.
Me time is something that everyone should get. It is hard though when you take care of young children. It also might be hard if you are the carer of a family member. Time out is good for everyone, and also allows you to be a better mummy or carer since you had some time out. Not being able to do something for you and not having the time to do it can get very frustrating.
What do you think of Meghann Foye’s idea of meternity leave? Do you agree that it should be a thing? I personally think that you can have this option it is just called holidays or say study leave. Or maybe it is called something else at your workplace.
I personally think that if you don’t have kids or other pressures you can have as much me time as you want. I do understand people have to work and other commitments, but once you have done that, you can have your time.
Also if you figure out any other perks of maternity leave please send them my way!
Yesterday was a good day. I had an appointment at the hairdressers to tidy up my hair and to also to give it a big lift….yes I had a nice colour put through it.
Waiting to get my hair done…. how nice to have some me time. Also I think my hair thanked me for the love and attention it got.
The pampering, silence and no kids was much needed. Some alone time was lovely. I sat with a peppermint tea in hand and reading a trashy mag while I waited for my stylist to arrive. I left the house thinking I might be running late for my appointment but to my surprise I was 15 mins early.
How amazing to be early somewhere. Having three kids and getting everyone ready to leave the house is a chore unto itself.
So I relaxed with the knowledge that I can just be and wait without the constant chorus of “mummy, mummy, mamma!!!!!!”
The stylist arrived and apologised as I was waiting and he did not know I was there. I said that is no big deal and I was in fact early so there was plenty of time. He was lovely and listened to what I wanted and worked his magic to make my hair look and feel wonderful. We swapped stories of babies and life and just had a great time while my hair got some much needed TLC. It was a lovely start to my afternoon.
I explained to the hairdresser that ever since my third child was born I have been losing handfuls of hair in the shower and also in the hairbrush. I have read that this is normal and happens due to hormones and the fact that you don’t lose hair during pregnancy but afterwards it seems like I am losing heaps. It has made me get very worried but since googling “hair loss and having a baby” I have found the following:
After I left the hairdressers I walked around very slowly, I took in all the coming and goings that I usually miss out on as I am racing around with kids normally. I loved the fact that I could go into shops and not have to be stressed out about kids touching things or the possibility of them breaking something very expensive. I was able to go into areas that are generally off limits to prams and to spend as much or as little time as I liked in each place. It was rather luxurious to do this (It does not sound like much but it was heaven).
My fab new do. Not much different from my old do but it is feeling nicer, the colour makes it look more healthy and the stylist worked with my natural curls.
Ever since I had Alexander my body has been out of sorts… I think I need to be realigned and have daily or weekly massages. My pelvis, hip and shoulder feels very sore. I do think that maybe my rib and also pelvis might be out of place as it is very painful to lie down and I never seem to feel good, every part of me feels like it is in constant pain. Not good I know. Has this happened to you after you had your baby? What did you do to feel better?
I have been seeing my chiropractor and he has helped a bit but the pain and issue is still there. I was thinking maybe a deep tissue massage might help me out.
So after my lovely relaxing time at the hairdressers and the shops I took myself off for a Deep Tissue Thai Massage.
Yes…… it was amazing and different. I have never had a true Thai Massage before, the lovely lady used her body to help get my kinks and to stretch my body out.
It was a brilliant experience and I will definitely be going back. I was twisted and manipulated and it has made parts of my back and body move more easily, however it also made me think that everywhere this masseuse touched me was so sore. It made me think how out my body really was.
The masseuse suggested that I come back soon as my back needs to more help to feel better. I will have to book a massage for the next weekend so that I can start to feel better. Next weekend I need to book my time again so that I can help my poor back and body.
I did have a lovely fantasy while I had my massage. I was a princess getting her daily or weekly massage. Yep I don’t muck around with my daydreams. In my fantasy I was in a fab room that was all decked out with detailed fabric, furniture and no expense was spared. I hope I’m not the only one that has weird thoughts while having a massage. Let me know if you do this too.
Have you found that a Deep Tissue Thai Massage helped you feel better? Also have you managed to sneak in some me time after kids? Let us know.
You might be questioning my title. Knee Beards??? What the? You say.
Yes knee beards are a thing (You heard the term here first….I feel like now I should copyright it) and it got to a very hairy problem months after Alexander was born. I was still sporting some knee beards. Although I must say my legs are very nice (So I have been told) but having knee beards does not make them look very attractive.
If you don’t know what a knee beard is it is all the hair that grows around your knee region, if you don’t shave for a while it grows longer and maybe with pregnancy hormones this makes things even more longer and weird. Okay, you get the picture now.
A dramatic recreation of the knee beard. Yes it might be a little worse than it actually was but it felt like it looked this bad.
I finally took matters into my own hands and removed my knee beards but it took me two months of living with them to finally remove them. Why did it take me so long? Well as a new mum to a new baby, finding time for self care is hard. This is even harder when you have other children to care for as well. I cannot just swan in and have a bath and shave my legs. Nope. Sitting or lying in a bath to relax is difficult to impossible. My twins will then want to join me and therefore ruining the peaceful and relaxing state that I was attempting to create.
It was not just knee beards that needed my attention. Some of the other things that normally get waxed have been forgotten about or just left as it is in the too hard basket. My aim is to book time at the beauticians on a weekend this way hubby can mind kids and I can get some things done. After I have had some much needed beauty therapy I can then tackle the pool again in the aim to tone up and lose some of the baby weight.
My hair also needs some attention. I have noticed that it is rather dry and rough on the ends. This is probably not helping the fact that I am loosing hair when I brush or even when I shower. Yes hand fulls are coming out. Maybe this is due to hormones after having a baby? I hope so as I’m getting worried that I might soon be bald. So basically knee beards are the least of my worries really.
My out of control hair. Desperate to go to the hairdressers.
I think that I just need to have my hair cut and tidied, and I know it might not be good but a nice colour to jazz up my look might be in order. It would make me feel good and also much more glamorous. As a stay at home mum to three kids now feeling more glam is always a good thing.
Do you get time for a little bit of self care? A mani, or pedi?
Maybe a trip to the pool or the gym? Have you been to the hairdressers lately?
I am so keen to get my hair done I have thought about doing it with the baby with me. However I have stopped myself, I don’t want to be dealing with a crying baby while trying to relax.
This time will just be for me. My time to do something for myself.
Let us know how you fit it all in with everyone’s busy schedules.
The other week we celebrated International Women’s Day. Lately, there have been many articles about women and girls; the topics range from equal pay, pocket money, women not being in leadership roles, how women manage money, and more!
Inequality is still a major issue and I’m sure I am not the only one that finds this appalling. Yes, it is 2016 and we are still not treating women and girls as equals. Why is being female such a negative thing? We are strong, we have children, we solider on just like men do, and we manage the household, we manage kids and work and also have a career to boot. Plus some of us, myself included taking time out to do unpaid work of looking after kids and family. This unpaid work is not easy as there are no holidays, sick days, or thanks for the majority of the job. However, if you don’t do something it gets noticed instantly. Have two kids sick and you are ill and struggling, you are on your own. You cannot call in and tell the boss you cannot come in that day. Oh, how I wish this was the case!
Girls and women are more highly educated than ever before and it is reflected in the workforce. More and more women are striving for the top jobs and also entering into industries that were seen once as male-only domains, such as engineering, IT and much more. I for one believe and so does hubby, that jobs should be matched on a skill basis. If you fulfil the skill and job requirements you should be seriously looked at for the role, and your gender should not be a factor to determine if you get a job, or if you get a promotion or if you get a pay rise or paid the right amount of money.
Here is my rant about the inequality that women deal with. Yes, I have my cranky pants on and I’m not apologizing for being angry. Everyone should see this as unforgivable. If you have daughters would you want or accept that they will always be underpaid and undervalued? I would hope not!
Gender Pay Gap Stats. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
Why are top female sports professionals so underpaid?
The Matildas are Australia’s national soccer team. The team have been very successful in the FIFA World Cup and in the lead up to the Olympics. There has been a pay dispute with FFA (Football Federation of Australia), the team wish to have equal pay like the male soccer players.
For example, Each Matilda player got $500 in match fees for the knockout game with Brazil. However male players receive $7,500 for the same thing. (Convery, Stephanie: September 11, 2015, “The Matildas’ pay dispute could spark real change”, abc.net.au)
— $500 per group-stage tournament game, $600 per round of 16-tournament game, $750 per tournament quarter-final, $1250 per tournament semi-final or third or fourth-place playoff and$1500 per tournament final
— Plus an equal share in 30 per cent of all prize money
SOCCEROOS
— A share in commercial profits from matches played and sponsor bonuses
— $6500 per standard international game
— $7500 per group-stage tournament game. $8500 per quarter-final tournament game, $9500 per tournament semi-final or third or fourth-place playoff and $11,500 per tournament final
— Plus an equal share in 30 per cent of all prize money
— Or, $240 daily wage
As you can see a match fee for men that is $7,500 to the women’s pay of $500 is a massive difference. A difference of $7,000 is just not on at all! Not fair if you ask me. Very rude to The Matildas to not value their skill and success and not pay the same as the men are getting.
“”In my next life when I come back I want to be someone in the WTA, because they ride on the coattails of the men,” Moore said. “They don’t make any decisions and they are lucky. They are very, very lucky. If I was a lady player, I’d go down every night on my knees and thank God that Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal were born, because they have carried this sport. They really have.” (Rothenberg, Ben: 2016, March 21, “Indian Wells boss Raymond Moore says women tennis players should be thanking men”, The Sydney Morning Herald.)
Serena Williams “rejected the notion that Moore’s comments could have been misconstrued.
“There’s only one way to interpret that,” she said. “‘Get on your knees,’ which is offensive enough, and ‘Thank a man’? We, as women, have come a long way. We shouldn’t have to drop to our knees at any point.”
“Williams expressed particular shock that Moore would make such comments after last year’s US Open when excitement over her Grand Slam bid caused tickets to the women’s final to sell out before the men’s final for the first time in tournament history.” (Rothenberg, Ben: 2016, March 21, “Indian Wells boss Raymond Moore says women tennis players should be thanking men”, The Sydney Morning Herald.)
Graph looking at data for full-time wages and the gender pay gap. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
Why is it when there is media coverage regarding Hilary Clinton’s race for the white house, the question is, “How do you feel about a woman president?”
Why is being a woman a major issue?
I understand that America has not had a female president but you don’t hear the same questioning for a male wanting to be president. I would think that they would find this line of questioning rude and not seeing their credentials for the job rather than focus on gender.
If a woman is successful in her career and life, why is it that she is singled out due to her sex? We can see instantly that she is female and that is not a major thing to notice. Who cares!!!
The only thing that should be looked at and worried about is, can she do the job? A woman needs to be noticed for her skills and achievements not just due to gender.
You never hear in the press, that we have a man in this job and it is a first. I wonder how he will do? Why are men not put through the scrutiny women are? Why are men getting more money for the same jobs?
Why is it when men don’t hit their objectives/KPI’s in their job that they still get higher bonuses than women?
Ridiculous if you ask me. Isn’t the whole idea of the reward system to reward the workers that hit the objectives and performance indicators? Not the person that does not achieve?
This could be a woman or a man, the employee just has to hit their targets to be in the running for a bonus not get one without doing so.
“Despite getting the same performance ratings as their male colleagues, women get smaller bonuses on average, according to a report from human resources consultants Mercer.
Even men who only partially met their performance objectives got bonuses that were 35 per cent larger than their female counterparts.” (Perkins, Miki: 2015, November 4, “Gender pay gap higher in bonuses, report finds”
Looking at the gender pay gap from 1995 to 2015. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
“Boys earn $13 a week in pocket money on average, while girls get $9.60, according to a survey done for the Heritage Bank and released in time for International Women’s Day this week. The bank made similar findings in 2014. (Fitzsimmons, Caitlin: March 8, 2016, “Girls get less pocket money”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
How atrocious that boys even when little still get paid more! I wonder how this works?
Why would parents pay girls less than their boys? I know I wouldn’t.
According to the article from the Herald, it says it could be down the types of jobs done by boys/girls or how the child negotiates. Or maybe the fact that girls are expected to just do housework or jobs around the house for no pay… If this is the case that is just horrible! Living in 2016 and just due to your gender you are expected to do things for no pay. Wrong I tell you! Also if this is so and the reason, showing boys that housework or other chores around the house are not to be valued and not paid is not right at all.
I don’t understand why having a penis makes you earn more over a lifetime. Maybe I need to get a fake one to improve my chances?????
Why is this discrepancy occurring? As an employer, what makes you underpay women?
Why is it okay to pay female employees less?
Women are equally deserving as men, women have the same education and skill base, women are focused and high achieving, and would like to be promoted and go places just like men. This is not something different.
Just because we are female does not make our wants and desires any different to a man. We are just working harder and for less money!
When I was working in the corporate world, I was keen to be promoted and to progress in my career. I saw the men get promoted but when I put my hand up and showed interest I always got told not now, you don’t have the skills yet (although I was already doing the job but did not have the new title and new pay to accompany it) and much more. During my time at many companies, management changed and this meant it was mostly men that took up positions of power, and therefore brought along their mates, who were of course male. I must say that there were a few powerful and lovely women who did a great job and I greatly admired them.
Why is ambition from a woman seen as a terrible trait to have? If I was a man I’m sure the outcome would have been completely different.
Ambition is a great attribute and I should be rewarded. I wish I would know what it would have been like if I was a man, would my life and career have looked different? Would I have been the CEO of a company by now? Maybe it is best not to know, if I knew how it could have been, I think it would make me even angrier.
I was always taught, that you study hard, work hard and do well, good pay will follow. Gender did not come into it. I really don’t see how your sex should determine pay.
Women live longer than men and therefore need more savings to live. Being short-changed in the earnings department means that women’s superannuation is much less than a man’s and even lower if they have had a career break to look after children or other family members.
“The gender pay gap is worst where pay is kept secret and women often find out they are being paid less than their male colleagues after years on the job,” she said.
The gender pay gap is currently at a 20-year high of 18.8 per cent, according to the Workplace Gender Equality Agency. It means that, on average, women earn $298.10 a week less than men. Put another way, they have to work an extra 66 days a year to take home the same amount as a man. (Gartrell, Adam: 2015, August 2, “Greens call for an end to ‘salary secrecy’ to help bridge gender pay gap”, They Sydney Morning Herald)
Pay gaps are broken down by state. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
Wow! Women earn $298.10 less each week compared to men! That is a lot to not be earning.
That is a loss of $15,501.20 per year in earnings.
Fancy missing out on 15K per year. That is a HUGE gap! I am not sure what industry that these figures were taken from or if this is just an average of many women interviewed and data collected from the Workplace Gender Equality Agency.
If businesses did not keep pay secret then women would know what men and women in similar roles were being paid.
This would help negotiation for salary and make sure that women are not being underpaid. Making pay transparent would also help everyone, not just women. Not knowing what certain roles are being paid and what you can ask for is definitely hard.
If you know what the value of roles are, you are so much more informed, plus employers will, of course, get highly trained individuals that will work hard and wish to grow with the organisation.
The Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has been focusing on innovation and technology. My girls are very interested in the STEM subjects, Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths. Hubby and I have encouraged this as we believe that the jobs of the future will have some or all of these skills. Also if the twins focus on these subjects and are good at them, they can get a job that pays well in the future. Why are girls not participating in these areas as much as boys? Why are we not encouraging girls to give it a go?
“A recent OECD report found less than one in 20 girls from OECD countries considered careers in science, technology, engineering and maths. In 2013 in New South Wales a tiny 1.5 per cent of girls took the trio of advanced maths, physics and chemistry. Yet a recent study by PricewaterhouseCoopers revealed that in the future 75 per cent of the fast-growing occupations will require STEM – science, technology, engineering and mathematics skills. We are locking ourselves out of the workforce. If we are going to earn the same as our pipsqueak brothers, we will have to think hard about the choices we make.” (Clarke, Ruby, 2015: June 28, “Teenage girls need to change themselves to affect the gender pay gap”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
How low is 1.5% of girls participating in STEM subjects in New South Wales! We need higher numbers. What do you think?
There is also the argument that women work in part-time roles or choose not to work due to kids and other commitments. That might be true.
However, for the women that wish to work, it is rather difficult if you do have kids as well. Juggling motherhood, career and life is tough. Not horrible but just more things to organise and get lined up to make sure everything happens.
I for one would love to work part-time or say full time. A couple of days in the office and the rest from home. My jobs have all been online and therefore can transition to work from home roles. I can put kids in care for the days that I’m at the office but don’t want to have kids in full-time care. Firstly it is too expensive and, secondly, I will never see them.
I don’t have the luxury of living near relatives and therefore I am the one that does all kid-related activities. School run, and after school activities is all down to me. Being the only one doing all this is limiting and therefore I have created my own opportunities with my blog. My own online presence, to hopefully build my empire! (You can only put it out there. You never know right?)
“Sure, if women are simply choosing to work shorter hours in lower-status jobs in lower-paid industries – perhaps because they choose to take on the bulk of the task of looking after children and the home – then there is no problem here.
But – and here’s the rub – perhaps these are not choices freely made.
Perhaps women don’t want to retire with no superannuation or other savings after all. Perhaps they would like to earn a pay-packet the equivalent of a man’s, but they’re too busy looking after those male’s kids for free.” (Irvine, Jessica, 2015: July 31, “Apples and oranges: Gender pay gap is worse than you think”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
Many women would love to get the job after kids to fit into their new lifestyle, however, many companies are still stuck with the mindset that you have to physically turn up to a job in an office.
How about job share? Part-time in the office for 2 days and work at home for 3 days. Work some hours in the day and some in the night and weekend? Flexible hours as long as the work gets done.
Understand if you need to be online or on the phone for meetings or in the office. You can always have a catch-up meeting every fortnight or month?
Depends on the business and workload.
With technology, I don’t why more places embrace telecommuting. It would save the company money and also allow them to get quality employees that will stick with the company due to allowing them to be flexible and work from home.
Think about all the women with fabulous skills that are itching to get the job that businesses are overlooking!
“Clearly society has to change in order for women to rise, but we, the teenagers of Australia, also have to change our attitudes and perceptions. Major corporations must set targets to increase women’s participation in managerial positions.
Men additionally need to take more responsibility for child care and share the load. Unionised workforces also tend to be higher paid workforces so if women join unions, their rates of pay should increase.
But. It’s also down to you and me, ladies. We need to change, too. We need to think about what kinds of lives we want. What kinds of jobs will get us more money? Are we going to be in charge of our own futures or are we going to rely on men to pay for them? If you want to work with children, how are you going to pay for a house in Sydney now the average price has hit almost a million dollars?” (Clarke, Ruby, 2015: June 28, “Teenage girls need to change themselves to affect the gender pay gap”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
When I see a role that is just perfect for me and of course will pay a full wage. Why is the money for child care seen to only be taken from my wage?
Why is child care seen as something that the woman needs to sort out in order to work?
Isn’t child care an issue for both parents?
Having an extra wage would help out the whole family and therefore it is an issue that the family need to address not just one person.
I agree that men need to take more responsibility for child care and help with this more. Some men do this and there is no issue here. However the more equal it is, the more easily women can re-enter the workforce and contribute to the family, society and build for their future as well as their families.
It is 2016 and sex is still seen as an issue regarding pay. I would have thought that this would not be the case.
I hope for my girls that this is not the case when they are older but I would have thought that it would have been already resolved by now. So I’m not holding my breath, however, I can live in hope.
As I have said before, gender is not an issue for pay. The only important issue is, can you do the job, and do you have the skills?
Pay for the role not because someone has a different anatomy than another.
Let me know your thoughts.
Thanks for reading my HUGE post about this issue!
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I know every baby is different and each one has a distinct personality. However I did not count on our third little person being so fussy and hard to settle.
Maybe he is a person who just likes things to be ready when he is. Yes impatient and wants it all to happen NOW! He must think why the milk is not ready when I am! Talk about bad service.
He is also a person that holds onto burps, farts and anything gassy or windy, so he has terrible belly pain. He makes such upset faces due to the horrible annoyance this can cause (I hate having a sore belly I cannot imagine how it would feel to baby that has no idea what the pain is.)
Upset and crying baby due to not being able to get the wind out of his belly. Also has to be upright due to having silent reflux.
Our latest addition is also a person that likes to be upright to be settled and does not like to lie down until he is finally winded, and finally all the gases get out of his body that can be coaxed, well within the 4 hour period of trying.
Yes you get the picture it takes ages to even get him settled and not yelling and screaming in your ear. I do think I will go deaf soon or have limited hearing on one side. I pray that this does not happen.
My new little man has a very good set of lungs and he uses them very well.
Some of these issues could be due to the fact that I am expressing my breast milk and therefore he is being bottle fed. Alexander did not latch on well at all and did not seem to get enough milk. When he was on the boob he would then fall asleep but also before this he would struggle to get on and yell and scream. This in turn would stress me out and also him and due to him not looking like he got anything we have turned to the bottles with breast milk to make sure that he is getting what he needs.
While in the hospital one midwife suggested the baby had a tongue tie. I asked what this was and she said that it is a piece of skin that is holding the tongue in a different position and not allowing it to move so that the baby can feed well and successfully. I thought that would explain it. However another midwife and nurse looked at the baby and dismissed it all and therefore it was agreed that the baby did not have a tongue tie. I ended up forgetting all about the issue of the tongue tie and just thought that I was not getting the breast feeding thing and the baby was learning as well and also just a fuss pot.
After we left hospital the community nurse came to the house to check up on myself and the baby. A lovely lady came and made sure we were all okay. She checked the baby and then announced that he did have a tongue tie. Oh gosh does he have a tongue tie and it got overlooked?
The lovely community nurse said it was a posterior tongue tie and it might be worth it getting fixed to see if it improves feeding and settling the baby. I was also told that it could cause speech issues when the child gets older as the tongue does not sit in the normal or ideal spot to form words and therefore makes it hard to speak. So good idea to get fixed. It is not yet known if it will cause issues with speech due to the baby not speaking yet, but there is a high percentage that if not looked at could cause problems.
I sprang into action. I got a referral to a surgeon at Westmead Children’s Hospital and raced there for our appointment for the tongue tie to get fixed. To get to the hospital on time I had to put the twins in before school care and also be up super early. I drove all the way and fussed over the baby when he was screaming the waiting room down while we waited for our appointment.
It was our time with the doctor now. He had no idea why I was there and looked shocked that I had such a young baby to see him. At the time of the appointment he was 4 weeks old. He is now nearly 10 weeks as I am writing this. I explained that I have been told he has a posterior tongue tie and that it is best to get it looked at now while he was so young. I also listed all the other things that the baby was doing and therefore it was other signs of having a tongue tie.
The doctor then said put the baby on the bed so that he could have a look and see what the issue was with his tongue. He did a quick once over and then concluded that he did not have a tongue tie and all was good. He said that there is nothing to cut and no issue! I mentioned what the community nurse said again to just make sure that it was right.
The surgeon then said, “It is just him then, he is fussy!”
So I have an opinion of a surgeon that rules out the fact of the baby having a tongue tie. However when I went to the local community nurse for Alexander’s 6 week milestone check she then told me without doubt the baby has a tongue tie! Oh please I wish people would bloody well make up their minds. Does he have it or not!
As a mother it is very confusing and annoying to have such conflicting views. What do you do? Do you continue to see someone for a tongue tie that a surgeon says is not there? Or do you just let it be. We have followed it up with our local doctor and have decided to see how baby goes as he gets older. Did you get conflicting information about your kids when they were little? How did you handle this?
As the local doctor pointed out; a surgeon has ruled it out so others will most likely do the same. Due to the baby always wanting to be upright we have discovered he suffered from silent reflux and found help with some medicine (Losec for babies) to treat this. I found that the medicine helped but first gave it to him during the day, however giving it at night time or just very late afternoon worked much better than during the day. There were some nights were I forgot to give it to him and he settled okay so we have decided to leave it, and think that it could be the fact he is getting older that things are settling even more. Although we have had some nights where the baby is just so over tired and out of sorts that he screams the place down.
I have found the following:
The baby likes to be wrapped.
Needs breaks during feeds and while having a break try burping and getting wind out of baby. You might get an angry face when you make the baby take breaks but it is well worth it.
If the baby does not drink all the bottle that is okay…. He/she is full and more might cause issues with upset belly and more wind.
Sit with your baby to calm them if they get the hiccups. Hiccups are the outcome of many of the upsets trying to deal with wind. Once hiccups are done and baby falls asleep again you can put him/her back to bed.
We have found that the baby likes noise and to be with people. We have put a digital radio in his room. It is on low volume and allows him to listen to Classic FM whenever he is resting. Not sure how this will influence him in the future but they do say that listening to classical music is good for brain development. We will find out when he is older, I’m sure.
Changing his environment when he is fussy. Take a walk out in the backyard, or just somewhere different is very helpful not just for the baby but also for you as well.
Make sure that the baby gets a bit of sunshine. Obviously not in the heat of the day and just a little time, say 10mins or less is good. It can help with sleep and also to it gives the baby some vitamin D.
If you have someone else in the house while you are looking after baby that is brilliant. If you have reached the end of your wits with baby then hand it over to the other person. Sometimes this helps as it is a distraction and the other person is not stressed or annoyed that the baby is not settling. The new person is calmer and can help settle baby.
Have you had a fussy or hard to settle baby? What are your tips and tricks to help the little person rest? (Or more like give you a break)
Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I have been very busy dealing with our latest addition.
Our third child was born on the 7th of January, exactly on his due date. Yes how prompt is he. We had a little boy and his name is Alexander. The twins are super excited to be big sisters and to give him cuddles and help out.
Our latest family member Alexander was born exactly on his due date. How clever is he! Only 5% of babies do this. Maybe he will be a prompt person? You never know right?
Ever since I had my third child I have had no time. Yes you can probably relate if you have just had a baby. Up all night feeding, expressing breast milk and just trying to settle the baby. The house is a total mess, laundry needs sorting, folding and to be put away. Things need to be tidied, chucked out or just put away. The essentials are happening, we are clean, have food and all is well, although life is a bit of a mess at the moment while we adjust to another person and trying to get into a routine. This is especially true due to having two kids who are full of beans that don’t seem to remember not to run, jump and bounce everywhere. It is not helpful once you have finally got the baby to sleep. Plus school drop offs and pick ups and also after school activities makes it harder to keep a routine. I have just planned to have food for Alexander, change of clothes, nappies and be ready if he needs anything while we are out.
This is my little boy. It was taken exactly when he was 5 weeks old. He looks very grown up here and also to a bit cheeky. I love the fact that you can see what he might look like when he grows up but also to that he such a cute little baby, well if I do say so myself. I am bias, I’m his mummy so I am allowed to be.
Our latest addition is hard to settle after a feed. He did not latch on well to the breast. I did try breast feeding but he screamed the place down that he had not gotten enough milk. I thought all was good as he was asleep after these feeds and then attempted to put him to bed. Once tucked into bed he screamed the place down. He gave all the signs that he did not get enough and was indeed still hungry. Oh how could you be hungry???? You have just had some from each boob and now you are claiming you did not get enough! Oh well. I did more and more and that did not fix the issue.
Breast feeding was terribly painful and I thought it would get easier. The midwives said it was normal to have a bit of discomfort and you will get used to it. They came and saw how the baby was latching on and to see how I was dealing with the feeds. I did everything they said but due to the baby being fussy and getting into such a state he was angry and then very unsettled for feeding (It was like the baby was angry that the café or restaurant did not have his food ready at the time he requested. Terribly annoying when you have such bad service!) This is not the time to try and be putting him on the boob. I then got annoyed, angry and stressed and this was the same for the child. Not ideal.
I then came to the conclusion that I should just express my breast milk and feed the baby like I did with the twins. Our new little person seems much happier getting more milk in the bottle. He is still getting breastmilk and I am less stressed about feeding and he gets it when he needs it.
Expressing my breast milk while in hospital.
However due to him not latching on properly he hurt my nipples and this in turn made me get ill with mastitis. I left hospital to only be back one night and that one night I was up all night dealing with the baby. He feeds well when it is in the bottle but sucks in too much air and therefore holds a lot of wind. Trying to burp and wind a baby is tough when it goes on for over 4 hours!
Yes, it is stressful and exhausting. Then once you hit the 4 hour mark or less you are due for his next feed and you have to do it all over again. Plus add changing nappies for a child that screams like you are killing him while you try and get rid of the pooey nappy.
I have tried to write this post for days now and today he has been all over the place and very unsettled, so I have been adding to my post in stops and starts all day. He seems to like cuddles and wants to be with you. This is nice but when you have a house to look after, other kids and things to do it gets difficult. Maybe when he finally sleeps I can sleep too or get something else done. Lately I have been more focused on sleeping, hence why other things like house and blog have been unloved for a while.
As mentioned I was only home for a short time and that time I was hot and bothered with a fever, I also got extremely cold and had the worst headache I’ve ever had (I could not handle light and found it hard to see). I had temperatures that were 38.9 and an hour after having Panadol it came down to 39.6. So not much of an improvement. I felt terrible; very ill and like I had an extreme case of the flu or more like the walking dead. I called the hospital and they suggested I come in to be looked at. They agreed that I had mastitis and I ended up having antibiotics via an IV drip and stayed in hospital for another 3 days. Not fun, the IV antibiotics burnt when it went through my vein and made me have a very tender hand for the next week or so.
The cannula for the IV. I always hate having them done. Very painful.
I did mention to the hospital before I left that I was burning up and was feeling all hot. I was told it was my hormones and that it will all settle down soon. It was obviously the infection starting and it just got worse when I came home. One of the midwives at the hospital said that I did the right thing by coming back to the hospital as she said it only gets worse if not treated.
I was convinced that I would have the baby earlier than it coming exactly on my due date, which in fact only 5% of babies do. So he is terribly clever to have done that. Maybe he heard the doctors say when he was meant to come, so thought he would adhere to that date. Maybe he might be a prompt person and always on time. I have no idea, but it is weird he came exactly when predicted.
I was so over being pregnant. I was approaching my due date and still no baby! Any week over 34 and 2 days for me was overdue; I had the twins at this time and any time after this felt like an eternity.
As I said, I was ready for the baby to come and was trying to coax it out. Here are some of the things I tried:
I was doing squats
I was having raspberry leaf tea
I went walking and tried to be more active
I ate chilli
I even had talks to the baby in my belly and was telling it that it needed to come soon as I was over it all. It of course did not listen.
As many women who are in the last trimester of their pregnancy you get to the point where you just want it to be all over and done with. I did not want to have the birth and was a bit worried about all that due to the drama from the twin birth and was concerned that it might be repeated.
My pregnant belly. Taken on 2nd of January 2016. Little did I know that just 5 days later the baby would be born.
I could not bend over. I was having pains and could feel things starting to move in the right direction but no labor had started. Damn! How annoying.
The hospital was doing their standard freak out as they were telling me that if I don’t have the baby by 39 weeks or I go over my due date they would like to induce me. What the????(The hospital said that if I go too far over my due date that could be high risk and they are not equipped for this, so if this happens then I would need to go to Nepean to have the baby) I have had an uncomplicated pregnancy. It is one child and not two like last time. I am not high risk, I did not develop gestational diabetes and have remained active throughout. I have even only gained 8kgs during the whole pregnancy so that was something that was good news for me. Although I felt like it was a lot more and I was HUGE.
I woke up at 4am on the 6th of January and noticed that things were happening. Yes 4am seems to be the lucky or weird hour that things happen. When I was pregnant with the twins my waters broke at 4am so this was strange that it all started again at this time. This was the day that the twins were going to vacation care and I had to get their lunches ready and all organised so that we could drop them off. I could not go back to bed and ended up having painful contractions that were extremely painful and I found it hard to walk and do anything. I checked the internet to see what needed to happen before I went to the hospital. The sites that I visited said that if I cannot walk and talk during contractions and if they are coming more frequently, if I lost my mucus plug, if I am in pain and not coping and so on. I thought this was all the case so phoned the hospital.
I spoke to a midwife who then said that it sounded like things were progressing and if all of the above had happened then it might be wise to come in and get looked at. She also mentioned some other things like breathing and something about pillows and my back and hubby helping. I was finding it hard to concentrate due to the pains that kept on coming and going.
Once hubby was we dropped the kids off at vacation care and then went straight to the hospital. This was just after 9am and they gave me a once over. The midwife we saw said that I was only 1 and half centimetres dilated and that I was not ready. Damn! Why can’t the baby be ready! All that pain to only be slightly ready…..very annoying.
13th of January, not even a week old.
While at the hospital the midwife told us that if we had the baby before a certain time we could come to Katoomba Hospital. If we had it after 7pm that evening then we would need to go to Nepean as Katoomba during this 24 hour period did not have a Doctor on call for the maternity ward and therefore could not have births there during this period. What the???? I go to a hospital for all my maternity care and now I cannot have the baby at the hospital of choice. Hubby and midwife suggested maybe mind power can help make the baby not come in this 24 hour period. I told both of them that I don’t think this would happen, as my body was doing things and feeling like it would be soon.
The midwife said that the way I was presenting that it will all kick off at 7pm and therefore would need to go to Nepean. I thought no way. But this lady sees a lot of women so maybe she knows what she is talking about. I thought we will see.
Hubby and I had plans to have lunch with some of our close friends so we went to the local pub all while having contractions. We went to the shops and although it was very slow going for me due to the fact contractions made me seize up and it was like all my legs, lower back and pelvis was in a muscle spasm. I could not move while it was happening, and during this I could feel the head banging to go further down…. YES painful!
7pm comes and we are reading stories to the kids and tucking them in for bedtime. My contractions were super painful and getting closer together and it was harder to talk and to do anything. They were 5-6mins apart at this stage.
I think the midwife jinxed us, as she predicted the time and the fact that it would all happen. Damn now we have to go down the mountain to Nepean due to the local hospital not being able to have us there. I called the hospital and this was a hard phone call due to being in pain with contractions coming and going. They said that we cannot come there, and that they would call ahead to Nepean and we needed to leave now due to the time it takes to get down the mountain and the times of my contractions. Oh great………a trip down the mountain in a car while I am screaming and in pain.
Hubby and I are in the car and screaming down the mountain due to impending birth (well I was definitely screaming). During our trip a P plate driver decides we are trying to race him and he revs up his car and tries to get in our way. A learner driver nearly crashed into our car, a truck nearly collected us and people did not get out of lanes so that we could get there more quickly. During the trip I of course was screaming and yelling due to the pain and the pressure was getting intense in my pelvis due to the baby pressing and pushing with even more gusto. I did not want to have the baby on the side of the road, or in the car. I was just hoping we would get to the hospital in time.
When you were pregnant did the hospital of your choice close at the time of labor or was not available for whatever reason? Did you have to race to go somewhere else when labor hit? Let us know.
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I am nearly 30 weeks pregnant with one baby. I am on the home stretch, and getting very over being pregnant. As per some of my other posts I don’t love being pregnant but love the outcome; a lovely new person that will add joy to our lives and household.
I have been spending the last month or two wondering what this person will look like, what will they want to be and do with their lives, will they be blondes like the girls or have darker hair? Will it be a girl or a boy? So many things to wonder and daydream about.
Pregnant and over it!
Aside from the nice thoughts about this future little person I have not had fun. Many of the normal side effects of pregnancy I find horrible and hard to handle. See my list of complaints and annoyances below:
Nausea
Throwing up
Not able to eat things that you usually did due to reflux
Tiredness to the point of exhaustion. You cannot keep your eyes open and your whole body is zapped of energy.
Sore breasts
Weight gain
Headaches
Breathlessness
Constantly uncomfortable
Finding it hard to bend over at all
If things are on the floor they tend to stay there as getting them is difficult
Now the latest in a long list of complaints is sore and wobbly legs and horrible hip and pelvic pain.
Leg cramps at night that hurt and make it hard to sleep
Hips throbbing at night making it hard to get any rest at all
I have had conversations with hubby about how I am feeling and he said, “What did you expect? You have done this before so you knew what it would be like.” Well all I can say is that the constant leg, hip and pelvic pain did not occur with the twin pregnancy and it is getting worse. At times I find it hard to walk and that is just around the house!
This pregnancy is completely different than the twins. I did have the same symptoms early on and was very sick and freaked that I might be having twins again. If we did we would have been happy with that but all tests have confirmed one person is in there.
I wish hubby could experience all the things that have happened during this pregnancy to give him an idea of what it is like.
“If men were constantly nauseous, had issues walking and were in constant pain, I believe they would be in bed waiting for it all to end”
I don’t think hubby could cope and I am not saying this lightly. He is a tough man and soldier’s on when sick, however pregnancy throws you a multitude of symptoms at the same time. You think you are winning at times, but fighting nausea, reflux, headaches and constant pain in the legs and hips all at once does your head in!
What a pity you cannot wave your hands and have hubby experience a month or a week of what you are going through? Would you have liked to have done this? I know I would love to. Pity I don’t have magic powers.
Even getting up and out of the lounge is taking forever now… yes annoying really! So quickly going to do something is not quickly anymore…. It happens when it happens.
I know he cares and he is making sure all is well in the house to prepare for our new addition. He is actually nesting more than I am. He is stressing out trying to get the babies room ready and concerned that we are running out of time.
His main worry is that my belly will get too big to help move some things around or help out. My answer to this is to ask one of our mates to come move stuff if that happens (Which I think might be the case)
Have you found that the second or third pregnancy different from your first or others? Have you had some annoying symptoms that have made things harder for you to do things? I am still active and getting things done just a bit slower than usual.
What has your partner said or done that has helped or annoyed you? Let us know.
Today I’m driving to my mum’s and step dad’s place. They are currently house sitting in Newcastle and we are off to visit. The kids are excited as they are having a five day sleep over… Yes that means that mummy and daddy get a break (Mainly mummy gets a break in reality)
The kids feel very grown up having a sleep over with their grandparents and cannot wait for new adventures. When the kids come back we are going to be in the city and starting our weekend adventure in the city for the long weekend.
I’m staying over tonight but the kids are staying for the week and that will allow me to do some things that I have been really wanting to get done. Some of the things that I have been waiting to do are:
Tidying up in preparation for the new baby
Blog work for the new look and also posts for the current blog
Time out for me
Sleep
Sewing maybe????
We need to pack, tidy up some places so it is not that messy when we come home, have a shower and get ready to go.
I’m looking forward to our road trip with just the kids and I. I have made sure that I am not leaving in peak hour so that our trip will hopefully not be stuck in bumper to bumper traffic.
Have the kids in the holidays stayed with family? Has this given you a break? If you managed to have a break what did you get up to?
I have now reached the half way mark of my third pregnancy. I am amazed at how quick this has gone. Maybe it might have something to do with the fact we did not tell people until I was 12 weeks to start with. Or it could have something to do with being super busy looking after two very active little girls now, so time seems to fly.
18 week scan. Profile of baby number 3. We don’t know if it is a boy or a girl. We are going to have a surprise.
All looked good at the 18 week scan. All bits and pieces were where they should be and the baby looked well. So that was great news. I had the scan done just before I went to Problogger so that made me not stress about things.
I have noticed some differences with having just one baby.
I don’t think I am that big at 20 weeks as I was with the twins.
When pregnant with the twins I had a lot of fluid that made me lose the strength in my hands. Yes I got carpel tunnel when pregnant. I could not do anything and it was very upsetting. This time being pregnant with a singleton I have had no such thing. Could be due to having less fluid as there is only one baby. Maybe this complication might visit me later in pregnancy (I hope not). I was lucky it went away after I had the girls.
Yesterday I got a lot of re-flux that did not start until the last month or so of the twin pregnancy. It could be that I ate too much and needed to have smaller meals, but I just loved my fruit and muesli that I could not help myself. Today I will try and have smaller servings throughout the day to see if this symptom goes away.
I have felt movement very early on but that could just be due to it being my second pregnancy.
I am still feeling nauseous and very tired but have not thrown up. With the twin pregnancy I threw up a lot and felt ill all the time. I still feel ill but maybe that is just the way I cope with the pregnancy symptoms.
Today (20th of August 2015) I’m 20 weeks with baby number 3. I’m at the half way mark if I go to term. If you had premmie twins before and then had a singleton, did you go full term? #pregnant #pregnancy #twins #singleton #20weekstoday #parenting
If you had twins before and then had a singleton, did the the singleton come early, was it on time, or late? Let me know!
After I came back from Problogger I fell in a heap. I thought I was tired due to being pregnant and of course information overload. However it was not, I went to the doctor and found out I have a chest infection. Brilliant I thought, sick and pregnant is not the best combination. I’m on antibiotics and trying to get more sleep.
I have my midwife appointment next week so if I need anything like the flu shot or the whooping cough vaccine I hope that can be done, or I get better before now and next week. Not sure when these things are given, but will ask next week. I’m sure it will all work out.
I’m now 17 weeks pregnant with this little person and they have been moving about quite a lot. It makes me feel rather strange in the belly and depending on what they hit it is rather painful. I think sometimes the baby is hitting a nerve.
I was hoping that my nausea would go away but that has not happened and when pregnant with the twins it stayed throughout the whole pregnancy. So I guess I am blessed again with that.
This is what I would love to be doing. Yes I am sure I could sleep all day. Cats have it easy don’t they!
Still super tired and not wanting to do anything other than sleep really. However I needed to do some housework today and try and find some missing readers for one of the kids. Things are just disappearing even after we have just used it. Not sure if the kids are secretly putting things away or I have moved it to a special safe place and forgotten where that is.
So now I am turning the house upside down to find the missing books, if I don’t find them the kid in question cannot bring anymore readers home. I did not find said readers, but I managed to tidy the kids room up a bit.
17 weeks, but look a bit bigger as I have a few tops underneath. Also I was busty before getting pregnant but pregnancy makes busty boobs even bigger….Mind you I think I was bigger with the twins.
Are you currently pregnant? Are you like me and really want to go back to bed? Do you manage to fit in a nap if you can?
Do you sometimes feel like packing it in. No point. No one is listening, reading or paying any attention. I do. I have had many moments where I have just wanted to step back and to stop for a bit. However I have invested so much into my work and what I am building. My blog, my ideas and future products that I would love to develop.
Yes always creating and dreaming. Although like everyone self doubt and life sometimes make things difficult to keep on going. Does this happen to you?
Keep going even if you want to quit. You will get there!
This post is for all of you that are thinking of calling it quits.
Don’t!
Keep on going.
Things will happen. It might not be the millions of dollars you would like to earn, or the dream job that you would love to get. However what you are doing will lead you to the next great thing. If you are working at your craft or blog at home it is a skill that you can use to leverage to the next step.
Make things happen yourself.
It is also your outlet.
Without an outlet to express yourself and just be you, it is hard to be happy. Everyone needs something that they feel happy doing. A hobby, a passion an outlet to just be you!
If you are like me a SAHM (Stay at home mum) having an outlet and something for me is needed. I cannot give it up.
It is mine and you never know where your passion might take you. Keep going! You are great and don’t listen to others comments. Just keep plodding along.
Just give things a go. If you try something you might be good at it and it will all work out. You never know until you try!
What is your passion? Do you have a blog? Are you secretly writing a book? Do you make clothes or do you paint?
Have you had moments where you thought it is all pointless but you have kept on going? Let us know.
I must say that all this talk of double dipping and new mums supposedly rorting the system is hypocritical if you ask me.
New Parents – Hopefully will be still able to claim the parental leave.
The government voted for this paid parental scheme. It was structured with part coming from the employer and part from the government. Government minister wives have even made use of this scheme. It was all above board and if you were entitled to the parental leave payments why not let this help you if you are a new parent. It all helps.
Why is it that we are now having conversations about who works and who doesn’t. I for one would like to challenge any person to say that a mum that is a stay at home parent does not work. The only difference is that they are not in paid employment. This mother might be racing everywhere and going above and beyond for her family but this is not listed as work, due to no payment for said tasks.
Working mothers do it tough too. They drop their kids off at care or have family to come and help. Without care these mums would not be able to work and to contribute to society, their household and progress their careers.
It does not matter if you are in paid work or not. Looking after kids, family and a house is a big job as well. Doing this with a full time job is hard too. It is all a balancing act. No one is better or worse, it is just different.
It now seems like mothers are under attack. I know that is not actually true but that is the way it appears. Joe Hockey was asked if “Double Dipping” was fraud and he eventually said yes. Now he is back peddling. So I suppose in his mind all women/men that took advantage of this paid parental scheme, which is legal and was voted in by him and the current government are breaking the law.
be the primary carer of a newborn or recently adopted child
meet the Paid Parental Leave work test
meet the Paid Parental Leave income test
be on leave or not working from the time you become your child’s primary carer until the end of your Paid Parental Leave period
Just in case you are worried that paid parental leave might not be available for you, there is a note on the website that says:
“The current Paid Parental Leave scheme has not changed. It will continue to be available to eligible customers.”
Let’s just hope that it does not get changed at all, or very little if at all.
What are your thoughts? The government is now claiming that it is the parents fault for taking advantage of a legal scheme to help them spend more time with their new baby.
If there is a way for new parents to spend more time with their new addition why not take that up and give yourself more time to bond, and get to know your new little baby. It could be a mother or father that wishes to do this, and does not always have to be the mum that is claiming the paid parental leave.
Are you a new parent? Have you been lucky enough to get the paid parental leave? When I went on maternity leave with the twins I did not have this option and plus I was on a contract.
If paid parental leave was available when I had the twins and I was in full time employment I would have taken advantage, as it would have given us help when we really needed it. Caring for two new little people and not earning a wage was a shock to the system.
Let us know how this talk of double dipping is affecting you. What are your thoughts of all the back flipping?
Today was Mother’s Day and I’m sure you called your mum, did family things with the kids and spoilt the wife, and just had a great day. We did a bit of this. I had a very early wake-up call due to one kid wanting to help finding some My Little Pony toys. She even tried to wake me up by waving a crystal above my head, thank goodness it did not hit me.
I eventually got up and got the kids breakfast. Hubby then woke up and I got to open my gifts that I have been curious about for a few days now. One gift in particular I told hubby I wanted so Julia and Daddy went off to the post office to secure the book I wanted. The rest of the gifts were things that the kids purchased from the Mother’s Day stall at school, and hubby got some things at the shops the other day.
My Mother’s Day Gifts – I wonder what the kids got me?
So for the curious, I got the following for my pressies:
2 lots of sunflower seeds from the girls
1 magnet meal planner for the fridge from the girls
1 book about all things to know about sewing. This book tells you how to do all things you have said, “I wonder how you do that?” Now I will know and have the book to tell me. Yes, I am armed with the info I need. Now I just need to magically find the time and space to do what I want and all will be right with the world.
PJs from hubby (very happy with this as I needed some new ones)
After the grand opening of my amazing gifts and putting a movie on for the kids, hubby got busy making me and his breakfast. Well, mine was breakfast in bed to be precise. So what did he cook me?
Hubby made me Sticky Apple Pancakes and that’s not all, he made them all heart-shaped for me. Yes that is amazing don’t you think! Thanks to IGA for sending me such a lovely gift box for Mother’s Day.
Ingredients ready to make Sticky Apple Pancakes – All from IGA
Ingredients:
40g unsalted butter, cubed
2 pink lady apples, cut into thin slices
40g sultanas
½ cup maple syrup
375g Greens Original Pancake Shake
Method:
Melt the butter in a non-stick frying pan over medium-low heat.
Add apples and cook for 5 minutes then add sultanas, maple syrup and 1/3 cup water. Simmer for 10-15 minutes, stirring occasionally until the apples are translucent and the sauce has reduced and thickened. Remove from heat, cover and keep warm.
While apple compote is cooking, prepare the Green’s Pancake Shake according to packet instructions. Cook pancakes as directed.
Spoon the apple and sultana compote over the pancakes and serve immediately.
Creating the apple and sultana compoteThe finished product – all ready to eat!The girls serving me breakfast in bed with daddies help of course
After we had our yummy breakfast, we got all rugged up and headed out to see the sculptures at Scenic World. It was a very cold day and we have had over 70km wind gusts so about 5 layers helped me feel warm.
We all walked over 4km, went on the railway, cableway, the skyway and the walkways. No wonder I am so tired.
On the walkway trying to spot the next sculptureThe kids on the glass floor in the skyway. It is opaque and then becomes clear.
What did you end up doing for Mother’s Day? Did you stay in due to it being freezing? Or venture out with the family? I was lucky we got to see the sculptures as today was the last day they were on. Some were very interesting and others were rather odd and morbid. We all had a great day and it was nice to be out and about. Getting some exercise was a good thing for everyone to be doing, we all walked a lot today.
I hope you had a great Mother’s Day.
If you wish to cook this yummy recipe that hubby made for breakfast or something different, you can visit theIGA Recipesfor more inspiration.
Thanks again to IGA for my fab Mother’s Day gift box it was yummy and made my day!
