I cannot believe it is nearly November. Yep, the year has nearly ended. It will soon be Christmas and New Year and then our little boy’s birthday.
It is all happening with super speed. Although the world and the days seem to be magically whisking by I am slowly plodding along. Why do you ask? Well, I have indeed gotten sick yet again.
Sick seems to be the constant battle of mums, and indeed me this year.
I now have a cold or possibly the flu! My body hurts and at times throbbing. My head is sore and so is my throat.
Constantly tired and wishing that I could stay in bed. Sleep and rest seem all hard to obtain with a busy house and three kids.
It would be so wonderful to just rest and for others to get everything done. To be able to sleep in and to not be disturbed would be fabulous too!
I’m zapped of energy, needing sleep and just unwell.
Cold and flu tablets don’t seem to be helping. Maybe more sleep will help?
Do you find that due to being the mum you are always ill?
Do you get whatever the kids bring home from school or childcare? I know I do.
If you are indeed sick like me I hope that you are getting some much-needed rest and family are helping.
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I know just announcing that I want to be different is a huge statement.
I know I can’t magically be Angelina Jolie or maybe Drew Barrymore. However, it would be nice to be able to magic up some things like a new house, more money or say kids that do as they are told? I can dream can’t I?
This is what I want to do more of this year. Relaxing in my garden or under a tree.
By different I mean do things differently, pare back, simplify, and take some time to just be.
In 2016 I was racing around like a mad person. I had a new baby and kids at school that required me taking them to many after school activities. This year I want to stop many of the after-school activities aside from two that the girls love and that is about it.
Now it is 2017 I would love to be a calmer and more productive year for all, more so for me as a mummy. I was the one dealing with carting people back and forth and trying to keep an annoyed and tired baby entertained while the kids had their time at guitar practice or other activity.
This year it would be a lovely change to go home and to just be. The only fight I see on the horizon for after school is getting kids to do their homework. Other than that, maybe tidying their room and helping around the house but that is a standard annoyance.
One other major annoyance I have had is the stress that goes along with getting kids to listen and do as they are told. I do try and keep calm but my voice gets raised and then I end up yelling after the millionth time of telling and asking for someone to do a simple task! Yes, frustrating to say the least.
So, this year I would like to yell less or maybe not at all. I know that I’m not perfect and being a real mum means that things don’t happen like the movies or the magazines, but it would be nice to have things go a little more smoothly this year.
Another major milestone is about to happen soon, our little boy Alexander is going to start day-care. I know some might not think day-care is a good idea but I feel that it will help his socialisation with others and especially kids his own age.
He will explore and learn new things and it will all help his development. I am rather anxious about this day but also to excited. The anxious part is Alexander is still very clingy to me and frets when I leave the room, I hope that he will love the place and forget about me when we are there. We are scheduled for an orientation day so that he can get used to the space and people, and I hope this helps him feel more secure at the day-care centre.
On the days that he goes to care I am hoping to get more done with the blog and the house. The alone time will also allow me to do things that I cannot do with kids, maybe get my hair done, go to the movies by myself, go to the gym or maybe do some laps in the pool, or how about finally go for a walk on my own without a pram. Oh, how I am looking forward to this.
I do hope that Alexander will love childcare, he is such a busy little person that I’m sure he will keep everyone on their toes and enjoy all the new experiences.
The twins started childcare a day a week once they turned one. It did them a world of good and especially me, due to no family nearby. I am on my own looking after the kids. Hubby works late so if something needs to be done I do it.
It was nice when I had that one day per week for just me. I could either plan to do something for me or whiz through the house and do a huge tidy up. It is so much easier to tidy without kids seeing what you are doing… and terrible if they see you chuck out their artwork or prized creations. (cue the screaming and tears!)
I am prepared that I will be upset for a few weeks until Alexander settles in and I hope that he likes it as much as I think he will. We will see.
This is me… well not really but I am pretending. I am spending some much needed time in the pool.
Lately I’ve been thinking of all the things that I would love to achieve this year. Some are huge and others are not. Many align to my calmer and simpler idea for 2017:
Cut down on after school activities
Less television time
More time with the kids
Less or no yelling
Be calmer
Do more exercise
Be happier
De-clutter the house to feel better
Days for just me (Mummy). I could be blogging away on my new laptop or just at the pool doing laps, or maybe seeing a film no else wishes to see and I finally can. It could even be a day at the spa????? A Pamper day for me…what a delightful thought.
A tidier and more organised home that makes everyone happier and calmer.
Do you have goals for 2017? Are they to just do less like mine? I know I have a full list of other things but if I’m not racing around to get to the other activities I have time to prioritise on the real tasks I wish to focus on.
I suppose I’m looking at what is important to me and my family. What are your priorities for 2017?
Maybe another way to look at new year goals is what annoyed you last year that you don’t wish to do ever again, this way you can simplify your year and make you happier at the same time.
I for one hated the fact that the kids and I only had one day per week to be at home after school. The rest was filled with activities I had to race to, and all the while keep a baby happy and sometimes this was not possible and I had a screaming baby.
Let me know what you have decided to not do in 2017 that will put a smile on your face. Send in your comments.
The other week we celebrated International Women’s Day. Lately, there have been many articles about women and girls; the topics range from equal pay, pocket money, women not being in leadership roles, how women manage money, and more!
Inequality is still a major issue and I’m sure I am not the only one that finds this appalling. Yes, it is 2016 and we are still not treating women and girls as equals. Why is being female such a negative thing? We are strong, we have children, we solider on just like men do, and we manage the household, we manage kids and work and also have a career to boot. Plus some of us, myself included taking time out to do unpaid work of looking after kids and family. This unpaid work is not easy as there are no holidays, sick days, or thanks for the majority of the job. However, if you don’t do something it gets noticed instantly. Have two kids sick and you are ill and struggling, you are on your own. You cannot call in and tell the boss you cannot come in that day. Oh, how I wish this was the case!
Girls and women are more highly educated than ever before and it is reflected in the workforce. More and more women are striving for the top jobs and also entering into industries that were seen once as male-only domains, such as engineering, IT and much more. I for one believe and so does hubby, that jobs should be matched on a skill basis. If you fulfil the skill and job requirements you should be seriously looked at for the role, and your gender should not be a factor to determine if you get a job, or if you get a promotion or if you get a pay rise or paid the right amount of money.
Here is my rant about the inequality that women deal with. Yes, I have my cranky pants on and I’m not apologizing for being angry. Everyone should see this as unforgivable. If you have daughters would you want or accept that they will always be underpaid and undervalued? I would hope not!
Gender Pay Gap Stats. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
Why are top female sports professionals so underpaid?
The Matildas are Australia’s national soccer team. The team have been very successful in the FIFA World Cup and in the lead up to the Olympics. There has been a pay dispute with FFA (Football Federation of Australia), the team wish to have equal pay like the male soccer players.
For example, Each Matilda player got $500 in match fees for the knockout game with Brazil. However male players receive $7,500 for the same thing. (Convery, Stephanie: September 11, 2015, “The Matildas’ pay dispute could spark real change”, abc.net.au)
— $500 per group-stage tournament game, $600 per round of 16-tournament game, $750 per tournament quarter-final, $1250 per tournament semi-final or third or fourth-place playoff and$1500 per tournament final
— Plus an equal share in 30 per cent of all prize money
SOCCEROOS
— A share in commercial profits from matches played and sponsor bonuses
— $6500 per standard international game
— $7500 per group-stage tournament game. $8500 per quarter-final tournament game, $9500 per tournament semi-final or third or fourth-place playoff and $11,500 per tournament final
— Plus an equal share in 30 per cent of all prize money
— Or, $240 daily wage
As you can see a match fee for men that is $7,500 to the women’s pay of $500 is a massive difference. A difference of $7,000 is just not on at all! Not fair if you ask me. Very rude to The Matildas to not value their skill and success and not pay the same as the men are getting.
“”In my next life when I come back I want to be someone in the WTA, because they ride on the coattails of the men,” Moore said. “They don’t make any decisions and they are lucky. They are very, very lucky. If I was a lady player, I’d go down every night on my knees and thank God that Roger Federer and Rafa Nadal were born, because they have carried this sport. They really have.” (Rothenberg, Ben: 2016, March 21, “Indian Wells boss Raymond Moore says women tennis players should be thanking men”, The Sydney Morning Herald.)
Serena Williams “rejected the notion that Moore’s comments could have been misconstrued.
“There’s only one way to interpret that,” she said. “‘Get on your knees,’ which is offensive enough, and ‘Thank a man’? We, as women, have come a long way. We shouldn’t have to drop to our knees at any point.”
“Williams expressed particular shock that Moore would make such comments after last year’s US Open when excitement over her Grand Slam bid caused tickets to the women’s final to sell out before the men’s final for the first time in tournament history.” (Rothenberg, Ben: 2016, March 21, “Indian Wells boss Raymond Moore says women tennis players should be thanking men”, The Sydney Morning Herald.)
Graph looking at data for full-time wages and the gender pay gap. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
Why is it when there is media coverage regarding Hilary Clinton’s race for the white house, the question is, “How do you feel about a woman president?”
Why is being a woman a major issue?
I understand that America has not had a female president but you don’t hear the same questioning for a male wanting to be president. I would think that they would find this line of questioning rude and not seeing their credentials for the job rather than focus on gender.
If a woman is successful in her career and life, why is it that she is singled out due to her sex? We can see instantly that she is female and that is not a major thing to notice. Who cares!!!
The only thing that should be looked at and worried about is, can she do the job? A woman needs to be noticed for her skills and achievements not just due to gender.
You never hear in the press, that we have a man in this job and it is a first. I wonder how he will do? Why are men not put through the scrutiny women are? Why are men getting more money for the same jobs?
Why is it when men don’t hit their objectives/KPI’s in their job that they still get higher bonuses than women?
Ridiculous if you ask me. Isn’t the whole idea of the reward system to reward the workers that hit the objectives and performance indicators? Not the person that does not achieve?
This could be a woman or a man, the employee just has to hit their targets to be in the running for a bonus not get one without doing so.
“Despite getting the same performance ratings as their male colleagues, women get smaller bonuses on average, according to a report from human resources consultants Mercer.
Even men who only partially met their performance objectives got bonuses that were 35 per cent larger than their female counterparts.” (Perkins, Miki: 2015, November 4, “Gender pay gap higher in bonuses, report finds”
Looking at the gender pay gap from 1995 to 2015. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
“Boys earn $13 a week in pocket money on average, while girls get $9.60, according to a survey done for the Heritage Bank and released in time for International Women’s Day this week. The bank made similar findings in 2014. (Fitzsimmons, Caitlin: March 8, 2016, “Girls get less pocket money”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
How atrocious that boys even when little still get paid more! I wonder how this works?
Why would parents pay girls less than their boys? I know I wouldn’t.
According to the article from the Herald, it says it could be down the types of jobs done by boys/girls or how the child negotiates. Or maybe the fact that girls are expected to just do housework or jobs around the house for no pay… If this is the case that is just horrible! Living in 2016 and just due to your gender you are expected to do things for no pay. Wrong I tell you! Also if this is so and the reason, showing boys that housework or other chores around the house are not to be valued and not paid is not right at all.
I don’t understand why having a penis makes you earn more over a lifetime. Maybe I need to get a fake one to improve my chances?????
Why is this discrepancy occurring? As an employer, what makes you underpay women?
Why is it okay to pay female employees less?
Women are equally deserving as men, women have the same education and skill base, women are focused and high achieving, and would like to be promoted and go places just like men. This is not something different.
Just because we are female does not make our wants and desires any different to a man. We are just working harder and for less money!
When I was working in the corporate world, I was keen to be promoted and to progress in my career. I saw the men get promoted but when I put my hand up and showed interest I always got told not now, you don’t have the skills yet (although I was already doing the job but did not have the new title and new pay to accompany it) and much more. During my time at many companies, management changed and this meant it was mostly men that took up positions of power, and therefore brought along their mates, who were of course male. I must say that there were a few powerful and lovely women who did a great job and I greatly admired them.
Why is ambition from a woman seen as a terrible trait to have? If I was a man I’m sure the outcome would have been completely different.
Ambition is a great attribute and I should be rewarded. I wish I would know what it would have been like if I was a man, would my life and career have looked different? Would I have been the CEO of a company by now? Maybe it is best not to know, if I knew how it could have been, I think it would make me even angrier.
I was always taught, that you study hard, work hard and do well, good pay will follow. Gender did not come into it. I really don’t see how your sex should determine pay.
Women live longer than men and therefore need more savings to live. Being short-changed in the earnings department means that women’s superannuation is much less than a man’s and even lower if they have had a career break to look after children or other family members.
“The gender pay gap is worst where pay is kept secret and women often find out they are being paid less than their male colleagues after years on the job,” she said.
The gender pay gap is currently at a 20-year high of 18.8 per cent, according to the Workplace Gender Equality Agency. It means that, on average, women earn $298.10 a week less than men. Put another way, they have to work an extra 66 days a year to take home the same amount as a man. (Gartrell, Adam: 2015, August 2, “Greens call for an end to ‘salary secrecy’ to help bridge gender pay gap”, They Sydney Morning Herald)
Pay gaps are broken down by state. Image from https://www.wgea.gov.au/sites/default/files/Gender_Pay_Gap_Factsheet.pdf
Wow! Women earn $298.10 less each week compared to men! That is a lot to not be earning.
That is a loss of $15,501.20 per year in earnings.
Fancy missing out on 15K per year. That is a HUGE gap! I am not sure what industry that these figures were taken from or if this is just an average of many women interviewed and data collected from the Workplace Gender Equality Agency.
If businesses did not keep pay secret then women would know what men and women in similar roles were being paid.
This would help negotiation for salary and make sure that women are not being underpaid. Making pay transparent would also help everyone, not just women. Not knowing what certain roles are being paid and what you can ask for is definitely hard.
If you know what the value of roles are, you are so much more informed, plus employers will, of course, get highly trained individuals that will work hard and wish to grow with the organisation.
The Prime Minister, Malcolm Turnbull, has been focusing on innovation and technology. My girls are very interested in the STEM subjects, Science, Technology, Engineering and Maths. Hubby and I have encouraged this as we believe that the jobs of the future will have some or all of these skills. Also if the twins focus on these subjects and are good at them, they can get a job that pays well in the future. Why are girls not participating in these areas as much as boys? Why are we not encouraging girls to give it a go?
“A recent OECD report found less than one in 20 girls from OECD countries considered careers in science, technology, engineering and maths. In 2013 in New South Wales a tiny 1.5 per cent of girls took the trio of advanced maths, physics and chemistry. Yet a recent study by PricewaterhouseCoopers revealed that in the future 75 per cent of the fast-growing occupations will require STEM – science, technology, engineering and mathematics skills. We are locking ourselves out of the workforce. If we are going to earn the same as our pipsqueak brothers, we will have to think hard about the choices we make.” (Clarke, Ruby, 2015: June 28, “Teenage girls need to change themselves to affect the gender pay gap”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
How low is 1.5% of girls participating in STEM subjects in New South Wales! We need higher numbers. What do you think?
There is also the argument that women work in part-time roles or choose not to work due to kids and other commitments. That might be true.
However, for the women that wish to work, it is rather difficult if you do have kids as well. Juggling motherhood, career and life is tough. Not horrible but just more things to organise and get lined up to make sure everything happens.
I for one would love to work part-time or say full time. A couple of days in the office and the rest from home. My jobs have all been online and therefore can transition to work from home roles. I can put kids in care for the days that I’m at the office but don’t want to have kids in full-time care. Firstly it is too expensive and, secondly, I will never see them.
I don’t have the luxury of living near relatives and therefore I am the one that does all kid-related activities. School run, and after school activities is all down to me. Being the only one doing all this is limiting and therefore I have created my own opportunities with my blog. My own online presence, to hopefully build my empire! (You can only put it out there. You never know right?)
“Sure, if women are simply choosing to work shorter hours in lower-status jobs in lower-paid industries – perhaps because they choose to take on the bulk of the task of looking after children and the home – then there is no problem here.
But – and here’s the rub – perhaps these are not choices freely made.
Perhaps women don’t want to retire with no superannuation or other savings after all. Perhaps they would like to earn a pay-packet the equivalent of a man’s, but they’re too busy looking after those male’s kids for free.” (Irvine, Jessica, 2015: July 31, “Apples and oranges: Gender pay gap is worse than you think”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
Many women would love to get the job after kids to fit into their new lifestyle, however, many companies are still stuck with the mindset that you have to physically turn up to a job in an office.
How about job share? Part-time in the office for 2 days and work at home for 3 days. Work some hours in the day and some in the night and weekend? Flexible hours as long as the work gets done.
Understand if you need to be online or on the phone for meetings or in the office. You can always have a catch-up meeting every fortnight or month?
Depends on the business and workload.
With technology, I don’t why more places embrace telecommuting. It would save the company money and also allow them to get quality employees that will stick with the company due to allowing them to be flexible and work from home.
Think about all the women with fabulous skills that are itching to get the job that businesses are overlooking!
“Clearly society has to change in order for women to rise, but we, the teenagers of Australia, also have to change our attitudes and perceptions. Major corporations must set targets to increase women’s participation in managerial positions.
Men additionally need to take more responsibility for child care and share the load. Unionised workforces also tend to be higher paid workforces so if women join unions, their rates of pay should increase.
But. It’s also down to you and me, ladies. We need to change, too. We need to think about what kinds of lives we want. What kinds of jobs will get us more money? Are we going to be in charge of our own futures or are we going to rely on men to pay for them? If you want to work with children, how are you going to pay for a house in Sydney now the average price has hit almost a million dollars?” (Clarke, Ruby, 2015: June 28, “Teenage girls need to change themselves to affect the gender pay gap”, The Sydney Morning Herald)
When I see a role that is just perfect for me and of course will pay a full wage. Why is the money for child care seen to only be taken from my wage?
Why is child care seen as something that the woman needs to sort out in order to work?
Isn’t child care an issue for both parents?
Having an extra wage would help out the whole family and therefore it is an issue that the family need to address not just one person.
I agree that men need to take more responsibility for child care and help with this more. Some men do this and there is no issue here. However the more equal it is, the more easily women can re-enter the workforce and contribute to the family, society and build for their future as well as their families.
It is 2016 and sex is still seen as an issue regarding pay. I would have thought that this would not be the case.
I hope for my girls that this is not the case when they are older but I would have thought that it would have been already resolved by now. So I’m not holding my breath, however, I can live in hope.
As I have said before, gender is not an issue for pay. The only important issue is, can you do the job, and do you have the skills?
Pay for the role not because someone has a different anatomy than another.
Let me know your thoughts.
Thanks for reading my HUGE post about this issue!
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I have just realised that summer school starts next week. It was meant to be ages away but it is now only next week. In my brain I thought December is a while away but in reality it starts this coming Saturday. It is so exciting that after this subject my degree is all done and I can then look forward to graduation, however I am now getting very nervous about the whole thing.
Firstly I have to make sure that I am all organised with the kids to go and stay at someone else’s place and of course make sure to pack all I need for school, me and the twins. I suppose I have this time before next Wednesday occurs however there is always other things that come up.
To get to the university in time I need to drop kids at care and then try to get to the station to catch a train to the city. I will never have caught a train from this station before so will need to find out the times of trains for the days next week. Also not looking forward to getting kids up early to get to care but one of the advantages of this child care provider is that they take care of all food needs, so mummy does not need to worry. Although I am worrying and it has not happened yet, will my kids eat the food they are presented? I hope so. If you don’t know already my girls are fussy eaters so they might not like anything but it could be good to be exposed to different and more choices. Also if they see other kids eat it they might eat it as well. I can only live in hope.
I just hope that my plan to get to and fro from the university works o.k and I am on time, also that the kids enjoy their time at the new centre and they are not too grumpy in the mornings. There is so many variables that need to work. Crossing fingers and toes they all align to let me have a stress free time.
My car also was unwell and not drivable for 2 days and now is fixed, although have not fully tested it so today is the day. I hope it is well as I need my car as I cannot get off to summer school and have the kids in care where they are booked in without the car. So send good thoughts for it to be fine, happy and well.
Do you find that if you want to go and do something that you have to plan and sort everything to the utmost detail so that you can have your time off? It would be nice to have someone else take care of these issues but it is not to be. Maybe it is the role of the mother to have to plan and organise everything. Send in your comments.
Now off to get dressed and ready to drop kids at school and then tidy the house and sort some things out.
Yesterday at the girls school I waited for the doors to open for afternoon pick up. Once the doors opened, I saw other kids with giggles and smiles give their mother an invitation. Not sure what was going on, I just waited to see what would happen with my girls. I also had no idea that it was something that I might be invited to.
Julia saw me and was all smiles. She handed me a piece of paper. It was an invite to the pre-school’s mother’s day event. I am very pleased that the girls are getting involved in a secret thing for me, their mummy, however now I need to go to the school rather than have the day. I know that sounds terrible, but I don’t get a lot of time to myself. I am very excited and keen to go, and cannot wait to see what secret things the kids have been planning.
While walking towards the car I asked how the day went, “Who did you play with?”, and “What they got up to?” Lillian answered, “I cannot tell you.” I asked why this was so? Lillian then said, “It is a secret mummy, mother’s day secret”. So I only found out that they played dress ups and were princesses. I am not fussed and think it is cute they are keeping their secret.
Normally the kids spill the beans on secrets. When daddy was opening his birthday present last year, he joked and said, “I wonder what this is?” This is when, Lillian and then Julia told him what he was unwrapping. So very cute but a spoiler, the girls are now growing up and have figured out to keep secrets, what big girls they are becoming.
Julia was so keen on the drawings she did for me and for mother’s day that she gave them all to me yesterday. I explained that it is not mother’s day yet, and these should be given on that day. She did not understand and was so excited; she wanted me to have them now. I was told to hold onto them and keep them for mother’s day.
Are your kids doing secret mother’s day business? Have you noticed your childcare or school organising anything special. This is my first event to attend at school so it will be rather exciting and interesting. I will make sure to bring the camera; I want to capture the moment. Send in your comments and remember to vote for us for Best Australian Blog.
