Tantrums

In Family

Tantrums

by Suzanne Robinson Saturday, March 3, 2018

Tantrums, crying, yelling and then throwing things!

Falling on the floor/ground and banging his head in annoyance. This is a worry sometimes as I worry that my little boy will hurt himself.

Upset boy having a tantrum. My little one does the same. Covers his face and tries not to look at you.

Yelling! And screaming at the top of his lungs,”NOOOOOOO!!”

Fighting me when I try to put on his nappy as well as his shoes and clothes. After moments like this, I am all hot and sweaty and need to have a rest.

Sometimes I get one leg into shorts or pants and Alexander wriggles so much the leg is out and I have to start all over again!

This hate for getting dressed has carried over to putting swimming nappies and swimsuits on too. I come to the pool from playgroup, and go straight to the change room to get him and myself ready for his swimming lessons.

The other week it took 15 mins to just get his swimming nappy on him and another lady gave me assistance to at least get his legs into his swimmers. Alexander was fixated on having a shower rather than going into the pool. I told him that we can have a shower after the pool but he was not pleased with this idea, and kept on yelling, “shower”, and of course not letting me get him ready for his lesson.

Finally in the pool and learning to swim… well that is in between jumping into the pool.

Once we were all ready to get in the pool, Alexander decided throwing himself on the side of the pool and lying there was better than coming into the water. He was safe and I was close by, I decided to get in the water and show him how much fun it was.

He turned his head to make the point of not looking at me, and was still yelling. I then tried to get closer and comfort him. The closer I got, meant that he turned away from me. Talk about drama!

Finally he calms down a bit and allows me to get him in the pool to join his lesson. He has some moments where he is trying to climb me to exit the pool and the rest of the time is Alexander wanting to go back to the edge of the pool and jump in.

Now my little boy cannot swim.

He has not taken to the pool very well at all, and does take a long time to get used to it.

Once on the edge of the pool he does a happy dance, smiles and then jumps in (I’m not sure why he likes to jump in the pool but he loves it. As a kid who takes ages to get used to the water it is amazing that this is preferred activity).

A few times he went under but I was there to catch him. I did think he would lose it after getting his head soaked in the water. I think the only thing that annoyed him was that he had to do what the teacher was asking and he didn’t want to.

Not only does he want to do his own thing during swim class, he does not like to show the teacher anything. If he has managed to blow bubbles in the water he stops if the teacher is looking. His head is turned so that he cannot see her and he is pressed as close to me as he can be.

I attempted to join in with the other mums and dads, as a reward for doing part of the lesson I let Alexander jump off the side of the pool. Then back to the lesson. I did this until he was happier about the lesson and being in the pool.

We managed a small win. Alexander was finally kicking his legs and actually happy for a bit of the lesson (Normally he clings to me for dear life and screams and cries for the full half hour). After the swimming lesson was over I played with him in the pool and allowed him to jump off the edge a few more times. Then he didn’t want to leave!

I used the magic words that he wanted to hear before….”Lets go and have a shower now.”

As soon as he knew we were going to have a shower he was very happy to leave the pool.

I think at this point he had about 5 meltdowns and the day was only half way through. As you can imagine, I was ready to go home. I was ready for bed and to just sit and do nothing. However I still had a few more things to do and one major item was to pick the girls up from school, do homework and organise dinners.

I finally was able to get Alexander a haircut, he loved sitting in a red car during his haircut but refused the apron to not have hair all over him. The only downside of the car was getting him out of it. Yes more tantrums followed. Oh the joys…. it was a day that kept on giving in meltdowns.

Then off to the shops, chemist and post office.

Now it was time to go to the twins school for pick up. I know my little boy was so tired but if I went home I would have to wake him to then go and get the girls (It would be perfect to have him home while he slept, but I don’t have anyone to mind him, so he needs to come with me.) While in the car we drove to the school and spent some time checking out the traffic on the highway, birds and more things on our walk while we waited for the bell to go.

Insert about 5 or more tantrums while at the school. I was very ready to put head in hands and fall on the ground myself. I wonder if I did that if it would stop the tantrums from the toddler? Or would it create more of a drama?

My little boy just loves Thomas the Tank Engine. It was a huge job to get these trains out of his hands at the school library. This image is a little bigger than the ones that Alexander had and wished to come home with.

He climbed the stairs to the library and wanted to leave with the libraries Thomas the Tank Engine toys. It took a few goes to get them out of his hands, and put them on a tall bookcase to allow me time to get him out the door and down the stairs.

Once I got both of us down the stairs and in the courtyard at school, this is when my little boy threw himself on the concrete ground and was yelling, screaming and crying.

He was yelling “choo choo” about the missing Thomas the Tank Engine toys. He did attempt to go up the stairs again but I stopped his efforts and yes you guessed it more crying and falling on the floor.

I find that if I ignore the tantrum it ends quicker than if I try and calm him down. Ensuring that there the area is safe for him is one thing I do to know that if I walk away for a few seconds he will be okay.

Another technique that I have tried with success is to not have eye contact with the kid who is throwing the tantrum. I find that if I show interest then the crying, yelling and upset lasts longer and it is harder to have the child calm down afterwards.

It is interesting that the twins didn’t throw many tantrums. I think I was lucky to be spared twin tantrums while at the shops.