Tag: yelling

Categories
4 years and beyond

Feel Like I am Failing

Do you ever catch yourself and think you are the worst mum/mom in the world. Yelling when you promised you would not, and doing things that you also never imagined you would do. Over the past holidays not getting a break from kids/family or even some alone time was not a good thing for me. Even just having a day here or there for mummy to do something for me would have helped a lot.

Hubby did give me a day in the afternoon here and there as I was not feeling the best but it was not like having a whole day to maybe do some sewing, stuff on the blog or just dream or do something for me. Maybe watching a scary show that is not kid friendly, for example, “Being Human”.

With the long awaited start to the kids going back to pre-school I used my one day off this week, getting food, milk, vegetables and fruit. Unpacked the car, put all things away. Tidied kitchen did some laundry and then sat and had a relaxing date with a coffee and my shows. It was a joy to be in a house that I did not have to check on little people doing things they were not supposed to be doing. Another big plus was it was great to not have to raise my voice at all that day, oh the joy of that and it is relaxing to not have to. It is such a drain to you as a person raising your voice every so often.

Again I promise to be better and to try not to yell and to be a better parent and mummy. It is hard though when you feel harassed and don’t get time off. The twins do sleep well and I do things in the evening however I am more energized to do things during the day, so some things don’t happen and if not important can wait.

So my plan for the next few days is to tidy up as much as I can so I can use my days off next week for some things I want to do. I also do want to tidy up some rooms and start to chuck some things or give to charity what we can give away. I need to focus on getting rid of some things that we don’t use anymore, as it is small house and cannot handle too many things, so a big to do list.

What did you catch yourself doing with your day off when kids went back to school? Did you manage to get more than one day off? I hope you did.

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Categories
3 years and beyond

Moody Mornings

This morning kids were yelling and screaming. I entered their room to find both girls fighting over space in Julia’s bed. Last night they were both sleeping together, cuddling and sharing the same pillow. This is nice, however it creates issues. Lillian ended up taking over and leaving Julia no room. I put Julia in Lillian’s bed and a good night sleep was had, until the early morning screams this morning. Julia was most likely trying to claim back ownership of her bed, and Lillian did not want to budge. Why can’t they just sleep in their own beds!

So after we exited the bedroom and dealt with this argument I thought it might all be over, well at least for this morning. I was wrong!  Fights over toys, chairs and other things. Gosh and it is not even 9am yet. I am grateful that they are off to school today. Maybe they can burn energy there and when home they can just relax. I can live in hope. I hear you all laughing at this, yes I know it is not going to happen. 🙂

Both girls have had adequate sleep, although they are acting like they are tired. Maybe it is just a lot of activity at school and big days wear them out. Does this happen to you? I am finding we are getting more moody days and issues. Is it due to each child becoming more of an individual? Is it due to sharing things and parents all the time, this could be a part of it.

I really think both girls are trying to compete with each other, and not sharing is creating more problems. However this is all normal for their age and it is a stage that all kids and parents go through. This stage is exhausting and sometimes I wish I could just skip this stage altogether.

One site that comments on these types of behaviour is Totally Childcare, they have an article called, “Difficult Children – Moody, Disobedient, Naughty“, I think some of their points are good, see what you think.  Some articles that I have seen on the Internet suggest that there might be other issues, this might be so but not in our case.  I believe that it is down to kids not getting their way and reacting. What are your thoughts. Do you have some days that the tantrums start early?  How does this affect you as a mother? What are the magical ways that you deal with these moody and naughty issues. Send in your comments. Remember to vote for us for Best Australian Blog.

 

Categories
3 years and beyond

No more yelling!!!!

I must say it is hard dealing with two 3 year olds when they don’t listen, think things are funny when they are in trouble, break things, keep on doing things that you tell them not to do, and test you in every way imaginable. It is also does not help that I cannot just hand them to someone and say, please I need a break, and you deal for a while. However that said I do try and deal with it well, but there are times that I do lose my cool and yell. I know that this is not a good thing to do, but it does happen. I am sure everyone is in the same boat. Lately I have experienced others yelling, and it brought home that I too need to change what I do, and make the house a calmer place to be. My aim is to have a nice calm house, with no yelling.  I know. We will see if it can be done.

Lately I have been trying to see if just explaining nicely in a calm voice will help more than yelling. It seems to be but as I said I do have my moments that I get very angry and frustrated like everyone. I have been trying to tell them that if they act the way they are acting then the visit, or playgroup/play-date will not happen. This seems to be helping as they are very keen to go out and have adventures. They are realising that if they act up they will not get the treat of going out; it is sad that you have to bribe the child to behave themselves.

Below is a quote from an article called, “Yelling at kids – the effects“, that is on Kidspot.com.au

“Talking in anger to your child is likely to affect his emotional development if, as a direct result of what you’ve said, he no longer feels you love him unconditionally or that he is safe and secure. Your child needs to feel your support and guidance, which will help him build the confidence to attempt new things and continue to grow in areas where he is already confident. If he feels anxious about being personally criticised or ridiculed, he will be less willing to takes chances.”

When I was young my father yelled and acted out a lot, when he wanted something done he yelled and screamed and got very angry. This affected me, when teachers would yell or pressure me for answers to questions, my mind went blank. I just could not tell them anything. This made them think that I was not smart. Teachers then did not try to teach me as you were in the dumb class. This is not the case now (getting distinctions at uni), but I am sure if it did not happen, things might have been different.   I am noticing that I don’t want to have the girls in that type of environment or create it either.

It is hard when you are feeling stuck, you are on your own, no help and it is a constant that never lets up. I always thought that work was hard, but now after kids, work is easy, give me a paid job anytime. As the primary care giver it is a tough job and if you have no assistance it is doubly tough. So if the kids are not listening or doing anything that you have told them to do, what is the answer? Here are some links that might help.

What do you do to keep calm in your household? How do you get your kids to listen to you? Are you trying not to yell, what are your techniques?  Send your comments to me and we can all share and learn from each other.