Tag: multiples

Categories
Family

Tips for buying gifts for twins and triplets

Buying gifts for twins or triplets or more is more loaded than you would think. Yep, whatever you do seems wrong, so you need to make the best choice possible.

Do you purchase something for the kids to share?

Do you get the same thing for each child and be done with it?

Or do you grab something similar for each kid?

Or get the same item but in a different colour?

These decisions are fraught and ones that I take super seriously. I spend what feels like hours at shops contemplating what would be best, and what would the outcome be? Yes, I fret over it and then sometimes have gotten it so wrong, so I wanted to share what I have done and hope it helps you with your purchases. 

As a mother to twins, this has been my dilemma since they were born. My twins are nearly fifteen now, but this present buying issue hasn’t gone away, although due to their age, they understand why we purchased one of something compared to having a tantrum demanding they have the same game or toy too!

I recently attended an eight-year-old twins birthday party and when purchasing their present I was faced with the same question, how will this impact the kids and also the parents? When the twins were little many people just gave the girls a present to share for their birthday…and this created so much chaos and drama. 


“I don’t want to share with her!”

“It’s mine, not hers!”

 “Why won’t she let me have a go? 
“Why does my sister get a present and I don’t!”

“Why do we have to share this
and why can’t I have my own!”

“I have a birthday too and deserve
a gift not just my sister!”

“I want what the same thing as she has!

Why didn’t I get the same present?”


Many of the above comments are yelled at me so hence the exclamation mark at the end of all the comments. Many times, one kid would take a gift that the other really loved and claim it as their own. Yep, and then enters more disaster with the cherished gift everyone wants.

We made sure to give our girls individual gifts for their birthday, however, if there was a big item like a huge toy that can indeed be shared or if it is a game we only purchased one of these. I did however have many things that we had two off, yes, we had two of many toys, items, books, trinkets and more. It was just easier and made the house much more peaceful. 

So, with the knowledge of what a pain in the arse it is to be on the receiving end of getting shared gifts or just one present for two kids I made sure that each girl at the birthday party had a gift for just them. I did give them the same things and wanted to get each kid something different, but I do know that this can backfire big time, crazy but true.

I’ve previously given my girls something different each, however, there would be one kid who would favour one of the gifts and then there would be a fight for that particular item and the realisation that I should have just purchased two of these products as it would have fixed the horrible annoyance that ended up happening…. Fighting over the one favoured and chosen object. I of course thought I was doing the right thing. Choosing something that would mean it is different from their sisters, shows more of their personality and interests and helps them be more of an individual….NO it didn’t get translated as any of this, all that got noticed is that mummy didn’t get me one of the toys that my sister has, and the other kid wishes she had. 

So with that in mind, I did get the eight-year-old twins the same things…. I did feel bad, but knowing what I knew, I thought it was for the best. I did feel bad as I did want to get something completely different but as a parent that has dealt with the fallout of presents for twins, I knew this was a loaded issue. One that I hope I have helped the parents of the twins avoid the negative impacts of gifts to kids who are multiples. 

I explained to the mum of the eight-year-old twins that I got them the same things to avoid arguments. She was thankful and I said I was sorry that it might not be that exciting, but I told her that I know what it is like as I have first-hand experience with my twins and appreciate the complexity of the present buying dilemma.

Here’s my gift-buying guide for twins or triplets:

  1. If you know they like to do the same things make sure to give each kid the same things; for example, If they like art, include paper, pens, paints, brushes and oil pastels to ensure there are no arguments. My twins always argued about who had what colours and paintbrushes. 

  2. If they have a favourite colour make sure to use the colours for each kid for their gifts. My kids loved purple and blue, (sometimes red) I used these colours to make sure that I had special items just for them, a new pair of pants or a top, hat or even a blanket. It doesn’t matter what it is, the difference in colour makes it more special.

  3. Make sure you give each kid a gift of their own. It doesn’t need to be expensive, just something for each kid to open on their special day. Just because they are born on the same day doesn’t mean they should always get one gift.

  4. You can give bigger ticket items as shared gifts, for example, a giant LEGO set, a game, or say a toy, a trampoline or a cubby house. Many things you don’t need two of.

  5. When they are younger it is so important to have many duplicate items but as they get older you will find that each kid will want things the other siblings don’t like, work with your kid’s interests. 

Are you a parent to multiples? How have you dealt with the present issue? Have you faced the same issues? 

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Categories
School

Grade 1 and Separate Classes

Today is the first day of school and the kids first day in grade 1. Yes my little girls are getting bigger and they are both so pleased to be the bigger kids now in grade 1.

It would have been nicer if the weather was sunny and not overcast with non stop rain but you cannot have everything. The girls were saying that they were hoping it was a good day to play outside but were a bit disappointment due to having to be inside on days like this at school.

In preparation for school starting I purchased new hats, new socks, new shoes (of course they have grown and I had to get bigger shoes) and polo shirts. I was lucky to be given the great YUUWorld Bags for the girls, which the kids were telling all their friends about the new bag and how amazing it is! (Get 10% off your very own YUUworld Bag until 10th of Feb) Did you stock pile supplies in anticipation of school going back? I was lucky to see the shoes that the girls wanted last year in the right size this year and to find two pairs was good work.

firstdayofgrade1I had to wake the kids up as they were so tired from the night before and of course have been sleeping in due to holidays. I really hate waking sleeping children… my instinct is to walk away and to let them sleep, however this will do no good if they need to be at school. Plus leaving them sleep will mean a later start which is not good on the first day and of course possible kids not wanting to go and therefore ruining mummy’s first day off in a while.

Did you have to wake up kids for school today? Or was I the only one?

I got kids up at 7am and I had breakfast ready for them. Weet-Bix is their favourite and they finsihed that off in no time. Then after breakfast I make them get their clothes ready for school before they get into the shower. Having their clothes ready means they are all ready once dry to put on the uniform and be ready to leave.

While the kids were in the shower I made their lunches as we had a late night last night I did not make them like I normally do. All lunches done I packed up their new funky school bags from YUUWorld and we were all ready to drive off to school. It took a bit longer in the fog and the rain but we got there. Pity that the streets were not like last week and I could not find a park (last week the streets were empty and parking was so easy). Park finally sorted, we then walked to school to then find out no one knew where we were supposed to be.

Finally the kids went to their old teacher from last year and classroom and then they came to the hall were all the parents were waiting. Once all kids and teachers were at the hall the children were put into classes. I was thankful that they did the younger kids first and then I could leave the hall.

The first class was called and my girls were not in that one. Must be the next one they will be in. The second one had Lillian in but not Julia. OH NO! Will Julia be okay? Lillian was smiling and I could not see Julia. The class Lillian is in is a mixture of grade 1 kids and grade 2 children. So that is good and I’m pleased for this. I think different levels help learning and inspire the younger ones to do more or get exposed to what the others are doing.

Lillian has a male teacher and one of the parents thinks he might be a temp but I hope not. He seems lovely and I hope he stays. It would be nice to have more male teachers at the school as they seemed to only have one last year and it helps with diversity.

Now Lillian’s class went off and she bent down to kiss and hug Julia. That was nice… I was very pleased to see this.

Julia’s class was called and then they went off to their classroom. Julia has a wonderful teacher also and her class is a mix of grade 1’s and grade 2’s as well. So again a good mix.

Both kids have some good mates in their class and seemed to be very happy.

Once the first kid got put in her class and the other was not called, my heart sank. I was upset and worried about how the kids would react. Would they cry, yell or get very upset. Would this be a drama and a meltdown???? I had no idea. I braced myself for it. I was holding back some upset and tried not to cry. I know silly really but I was feeling what I thought they would feel. I ended up being the only one crying but I was happy…. I was just emotional and dealing with the shock I suppose of having the kids separated when I thought they were going to be together. I am very pleased that the kids were happy and adjusted well…. Now I just need to work on me adjusting to the new situation.

They are in separate classes for the first time

Hubby and I have been thinking separate classes was the way to go and their kindy teacher last year said she thought that might be a good idea. I was asked and I thought from the discussions that they were going to be put together. No not to be. I am pleased that this was what the school decided and in a way it was out of my control.

One kid gets very annoyed when the other does something she could not or is trying to do. It is not a bad thing but it might take more than one or two goes to get a new skill or technique. Sometimes things work or go well sometimes they don’t. Both the girls are on track and are very similar so if one does not get something it is only the next week or the next day or so when it all equals out.

I do feel that this will help them individually and allow them to be their own person. Being identical twins is one thing but always getting mistaken for the other in the classroom would be annoying. Different classes and teachers will also show the strengths of both children. I sometimes thought that the teacher was mixing up things in the report card and that is easy to do when there are two children doing the same work and you wonder who did what.

I was just very worried as they are both so connected emotionally and was fearful that they might pine for each other and not do well. I know this is good for their growth and development; the classrooms they are in are right next door so they can come and see each other if they want to. They see each other at recess and lunch and of course share a room at home. One big plus is that they will have a lot more to tell mummy and daddy about their day as it will be completely different. They will have their own stories not shared ones, how cool will that be!

My challenge now is to do reading for both kids in the different classes and try to be there for events and special occasions for each classroom. I hope the kids have a good day at school and love their new classes. I hope they like being in their own class and not with their sister.

How have you gone on the first day back at school? Was your child/children happy to go or were there tears? Hope all went well and now to plan my time in the next few weeks.

Question:

If you have twins or multiples have you put them in different classes? When did you split them up. The girls were together for two years of pre-school and also to last year in Kindergarten. Let us know.

 

Categories
4 years and beyond

What I have learnt

Mummy and the girls on the 27th of Sept, 2008. Katoomba Hosp. Julia on left, Lillian on right.
Mummy and the girls on the 27th of Sept, 2008. Katoomba Hosp. Julia on left, Lillian on right.

Having twins as your first children is a big shock to most people and it was no different for me.

I was planning to start with one child and then maybe do the second, but life had another thing in store and decided to give me two lovely bundles straight away.

I am very grateful for that and happy it has worked out the way it has, that said, what have the twins taught me so far.

Well here is my list:

  • Yes twins do have their own language
  • They are inseparable and always want to share a bed
  • They are highly competitive
  • Love each other to bits but are terrible to each other (just sibling rivalry)
  • Even though you want to dress them in different outfits especially due to them being identical it is a good idea to always have the same outfit ready for the other child. Once one kid sees what the other is going to wear then they usually want to wear it as well.
  • No matter if you think it is a good idea to get different colour toys for each child it is not! Best to get the same so there are no arguments and fights. Pink is the colour to get in our household as the twins are pink obsessed
  • If I can handle giving birth to two kids and deal with the early months I can handle anything! I thought it was hard and terrible but things are a breeze after that.
  • The cuddles and love that I have for both my little girls is immense and great, I cannot think of them not being here. I also cannot believe that I helped create their life and cannot wait to see what they become. It is a joy to be watching them develop and grow.

Next year the twins will start school and that just amazes me. 5 years have passed so quickly and I have watched my little babies grow into intelligent and happy little people. In the early years, it did help to go to a mothers group and especially one that was for multiples. If you are looking for a mothers group the best way is to see where your AMBA local club is and they should have a listing for what mothers groups are available.

I was inspired to write this post due to Multiple Birth Awareness Week (MBAW). Check out the events for every state in Australia and enjoy the celebrations. If you have twins, triplets or higher, congrats to you for doing well keeping up with kids, life and things for you. Well done. I know how hard it is.

The AMBA has great resources and they are well worth a look if you need some extra support or advice.

 

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