At Twinkl we have such a wide range of resources for all. One thing we focus on is pregnancy and newborns, and in this blog we will be looking at some of Twinkl’s top breastfeeding resources. We’d love you to share these with friends, family and anyone who you think could need them.
Benefits of Breastfeeding Guide
Our benefits of breastfeeding guide takes a look at how breastfeeding can be positive for both the baby and the mother. It’s a resource to gain information for yourself or for services to use to share with growing families in their care. Using this guide allows the parent to make the informed choice on what they feel is best for themselves and their baby.
Breastfeeding Q&A
This useful guide,written by a qualified midwife, helps give you further education and knowledge surrounding breastfeeding. With information including; mixed feeding, mental health and breastfeeding, how often to breastfeed and help with using a breast pump, you will feel fully prepared and ready for your breastfeeding journey.
How Can I Support Someone Who Is Breastfeeding
This resource comes from a different perspective in that it helps you to learn more about supporting a breastfeeding person. It is, again, written by a qualified midwife with knowledge and information that will help you. It involves; becoming knowledgeable about breastfeeding, supporting with giving expressed milk, and helping with other breastfeeding related tasks.
Q&A with a Midwife
The final resource to share is another q&a with a qualified midwifebut is a little wider in the topics. It includes answers to the most asked questions by new parents. The topics include; breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, baby poo and low mood. Once you’ve finished the q&a, we hope you will have a deeper understanding of what to expect as a new parent and how to deal with some of the issues and challenges that may arise.
Thanks so much for reading our guest blog post here. If you’d like to learn more about Twinkl, please visit us here. We’d love to have you!
Having a baby is a life-changing event and one that requires preparation. I read books, looked online and asked other mums about their experiences.
For me I was not just having one child first, I ended up having twins as my first children. I don’t know how many do this but I am sure that it is not that common.
BigW invited me to be a part of their Bub & Me Education Program in collaboration with select midwives across Australia.
This post is the first in my three-part series about being a new mum, breastfeeding, childbirth and great things you can get from BigW for your new little person/people.
Below are my questions to Pinky and her answers, I hope that this interview is helpful for all new mums.
Pinky McKay is Australia’s most recognised breastfeeding expert
Q1. The expectation of what it is like to be a parent to the reality can be quite a shock for new mums. What do you tell new mums about suddenly being responsible for a little person?
A 1. A recent survey by Big W in conjunction with The Australian College of Midwives revealed one in three (32%) of Aussie mums struggle the most with self-doubt,which is really not surprising.Having a baby is rather like visiting a foreign country for the first time: no matter how well you prepare, no matter how many frozen casseroles there are in your freezer, how many products you buy or how many classes you attend, there will be shocks.
The relentlessness of caring for a newborn is something we can’t really imagine until it happens to us. I wish every pregnant woman could spend a day (and night) with a new mum and support her – hold her baby while she showers, while she naps, and see that crying isn’t just for newborns, mums cry too(I warn partners about this too). The biggest surprise can be the weird brain things that happen such as ‘hearing’ your baby crying when you are having a shower, then racing to check and finding him peacefully sleeping, right where you left him, neatly swaddled in his safety-approved cot.
Q2. How do you help new mums with sleep deprivation and learning about their new baby?
Pinky: Before birth, I suggest how important it is to set up your support network. If I am seeing a desperate new mum, I always ask about what level of support she has and discuss ways to get support if she doesn’t have enough help. We are so conditioned that reaching out and asking for practical help is ‘weak’. It absolutely takes a village, whether this is hired help, friends and family or government-funded ‘in-home care’ (I have facilitated this for families with high needs).
The biggest thing is about lowering expectations both of yourself and your child and filtering out the ‘noise’ about what you ‘should’ be doing –according to a recent survey by Big W, 67% of mums say social media puts pressure on mums to live an ‘insta-worthy’ life.
While good basic care such as eating healthy meals and resting are especially important in the early weeks as women are healing from growing and birthing a baby, guarding your emotional energy needs to be a priority. Often, the pressure and anxiety around baby sleep, for instance, can take more energy than the lack of sleep. I tell mums, YOU are the expert about YOUR well baby. You can trust yourself and your baby and the amazing connection between you and your child. If you feel confused by advice, you can filter it by checking, ‘is it safe? Is it respectful? And, does it feel right? And if you have concerns, check in with your health carers, not ‘randoms’ on social media.
Q3. I thought I knew what I was doing with my third child, but he was so different and nothing I did worked. I was doing all the things that worked with the twins but finally had a realisation that he is a different person and I needed to listen to his cues and focus on what he likes and doesn’t like. How do you help parents do this from the start if they have more than one child?
Pinky: As a mum of five, I was always amazed at how unique each child was, from their temperament to their development. Although babies all have similar needs for security and love, it’s helpful to discuss how they vary in the ways they express those needs.They are unique, individual little beings and although we can support their personalities, we can’t ‘mould’ our child or reflect in the glory of having an ‘easy’ baby. It’s best to observe and get to know each new baby’s cues and respond to that baby in a way that’s right for them. If we do have a more sensitive baby, the good news is that we really can’t short-change them or they will let us know, and by responding promptly, they will feel secure and usually become happy, calm little people as they grow.
Q4. My third child was super fussy, had reflux and found it hard to remove burps and any gas from his body. Not only did he cry all the time, not settle well and want to be held all the time I was walking around like a zombie due to the lack of sleep. Do you have any recommendations on how to settle a fussy baby or one that has other issues that are making things more difficult for him/her to sleep and to eat?
Pinky: Rather than simply heading to ways to ‘settle’ although of course, keeping your baby as comfortable as possible is important for baby and you, it’s worth trying to work out why this is happening. For instance, could there be allergies or food intolerance contributing to reflux symptoms (your baby is never allergic to your breast-milk but may react to foods passing through your milk)? Tongue-tie can also mean babies are swallowing air because their latch and sucking is often ineffective, and a fast breast milk flow can also create issues for young babies swallowing air as they feed – reclining as you feed or ‘paced bottle feeding’ can slow the flow and make it easier for baby to manage.
It is really hard work when you have a super unsettled baby, especially if you have other children, but wearing your baby in a carrier or wrap can help settle your baby and you can still do activities with two free hands. There are also ‘holds’ that can help relieve gas pains such as lying baby across your arm on his tummy, with his head facing your elbow and supporting him with a hand between his legs as you walk/sway.Baby massage can be a great way to support your baby’s nervous system and move the gas – clockwise circles on baby’s tummy, alternated with knee bends.
Q5. I expressed my breastmilk for all three kids and due to the twins being premmies this was needed. However, I thought having a singleton that was born exactly at 40 weeks that he would be better at breastfeeding. It turned out that my third child couldn’t latch on and would only eat a bit and then wanted more. I would feed more and then he would wriggle and scream at me all the time. So, I decided, since it was frustrating him and me and causing me stress to express breastmilk again was the way to go. Are there ways to increase your breastmilk supply when you are stressed, running on no sleep and caring for two other kids and husband.
Pinky: Wow! That sounds like a nightmare. Firstly, it’s important that regardless of your sleep (or lack of it), that you eat regularly – handy one-handed snacks such as Boobie Bikkies, avocado or cheese on crackers, a can of tuna or salmon and boiled eggs (cook several and keep them in the fridge) are an easy boost – and drink according to your thirst. Your partner’s /husband’s support is vital – he is a grown-up so needs to take up some of the slack, not expect to be ‘looked after’. Please don’t be shy about setting up a help roster with friends, whether that is doing a school pickup, taking your other kids out so you can rest and focus on feedingor bringing food. Most people are delighted to share the experience of a new baby.
Try to set up young children with activities and snacks(‘Netflix and chill’, even if it’s a kids’ show or sit on the big bed and read stories or sit outside and get the toddlers to ‘paint the fence’ with water), so you can spend time giving baby skin to skin snuggles to boost your milk-making chemistry and allow baby to feed frequently.
Remember, an empty breast makes milk more quickly so as you breastfeed or pump, you can trymassage and breast compressions (high up on your breasts, not down near the nipples) to help empty your breasts more effectively.You will notice your baby start swallowing more quickly and if pumping you will see the milk start flowing a few seconds after compressions. If you are exclusively pumping or baby isn’t a strong feeder you can try power pumping (as well as putting baby to the breast if he will latch): To power pump: Pump for 20 minutes;Rest for 10 minutes;Pump for 10 minutes;Rest for 10 minutes; Pump for 10 minutes. A double electric pump is most effective – otherwise, if you use a single pump, instead of the rest periods, switch breasts and pump the other side.
If you have concerns about breastfeeding, it’s always helpful to see an IBCLC Lactation Consultant who can take a history of your baby and you and give you personalised advice (conditions such as thyroid disorders, PCOS, low iron levels, retained placenta or PPH can all influence milk supply).
Pinky McKay is Australia’s most recognised and respected Breastfeeding expert. She’s an IBCLC Lactation Consultant, Best Selling Baby Care Author, Mum of five and creator of Boobie Bikkies, award-winning, all-natural and organic cookies to nourish breastfeeding mothers and support a healthy milk supply. Download our FREE ebook ‘Making More Mummy Milk, Naturally for Pinky’s top tips to help you boost your milk supply
DID YOU KNOW?
BIG W research reveals three-quarters of Aussie mums have regrets about their first pregnancy including spending a whopping $163 million on baby products, as well as spending over 23 million hours shopping ahead of the birth of their first child.
Social media pressure – Two thirds (67%) of Aussie mums of children aged 0-13 agree that social media puts pressure on new mums to lead “instaworthy” lives
Shop ‘til they drop – one in six mums spend a staggering 41 hours or more shopping for baby products before birth
Bub & Me time – 25% of Aussie mums say they regret not savouring the time when they were pregnant
Special talents – Breastfeeding is the achievement Aussie mums are most satisfied with, with one in four (24%) claiming it as the skill they are most confident in
Highs and lows – 1 in 3 Aussie mums found the first six weeks after giving birth to be the hardest phase of their baby’s development.
Did you know that the most enviable celebrity mums include:
P!NK (33%)
Julia Morris (23%)
Laura Byrne (21%)
Kate Ritchie (20%)
A huge thank you to BigWand Pinky McKay for this opportunity. Make sure to stay tuned for the next two posts in BigW Bub & Me Series on Mummy to Twins Plus One.
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Do you think it was an instantaneous thing? Well for some that happens, but for others it can take a while.
According to anational survey that interviewed 500 women,“seven out of ten mums think they are going to bond at birth with their bubs, but more than half find it takes much longer than that.
Pinky McKay a Lactation consultant has said, ‘baby bonding was “a bit like falling in love” Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it takes ages for the magic to develop. “(Herald Sun, July 24, 2016)
The national survey was commissioned by WOTBabywhich is an app that acts like a midwife in your pocket. It is a good tool for parents to consult and it goes up to six months of age.
The WOTBaby app was developed by Jen Hamilton who is a mothercraft nurse.
“In my experience, I generally find on average, mums truly bond with their child at four to five months,” Ms Hamilton said. (Herald Sun, July 24, 2016)
If you are not one of the mums that had the instant bonding moment then you might feel like it is a problem with you. Well you are fine! Trust me. Being pregnant, labor, birth, and now suddenly you have a new little person to care for. It is a BIG SHOCK to the system, and more so if you have twins or more.
The girls love their baby brother.
Depending on what happened during the birth and afterwards you could have very different reactions to your little bundle of joy.
Here are some things that could delay or not help with bonding:
New mum and overwhelmed. Tired or actually more like exhausted. (I was like the walking dead when I first had the twins. Up all the time to feed, change nappies and to also express breast milk. It was a big blur of feeling like I had no sleep)
Problems breast feeding. If your baby does not take to it or if you have difficulties it cannot help with the bonding process. (I had to express both times with the twins and now my little boy. We did try breast feeds but it did not work out well for us)
Getting Mastitis/ill. I got very ill with mastitis after having Alexander and ended up in hospital for about 3-4 days. I needed antibiotics intravenously and it was not fun. I had the baby with me but it was tough.
Premature babies/baby. In my case the twins were born 6 weeks early so they were taken to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) It was hard to bond with babies that were not with me all the time and the fact that they were confined to a humicrib made things difficult.
Still recovering from the birth. Depending on what type of birth you had you might still need to rest. This can make caring for a new baby more difficult and can impact on bonding.
Support network. Having a good support network is ideal. I know it is hard with everyone being so busy these days, plus living further and further away from each other. If your partner can allow you to have some down time, this can help you to recharge your batteries. It might be harder if you have older children and now a newborn. If people offer help accept it!Don’t put pressure on yourself. Everyone is not perfect. Although you look outside at others and they might appear to have it all together I’m sure they are worrying or annoyed about something. Things take time. Unreal expectations is not healthy and we have all done this, judging ourselves by what we think we should be like or doing. I say take your time. Do your thing and just keep going. You will learn the cues of your little baby, you will figure out what the grunts and gurgles mean. In time you will feel more confident about everything. Learning a new person takes time.
I took a while to bond with my darling twins. I loved them to bits but due to them being in the NICU, being super tired, first time mum, recovering from a very long birth (over 30 hours) as you can imagine things were hectic and I was just doing what I thought I was supposed to do.
After I had the twins the nurses at the NICU were ringing my room to ask me for breast milk. As I just had them and these were my first children the breast milk had not come in yet. Great more pressure. One baby was okay on formula until I got my breastmilk but the other little girl was on strike. She hated the formula and was listed as nil by mouth! Oh gosh….. More phone calls to my room asking for breast milk. More visits by nurses trying to play with my boobs to help me get breast milk and all while I struggled to keep my eyes open.
Since I was in a room on my own and the twins were in the NICU I was told to have pictures of them to help me with the breast milk situation. I did think at times it was all a dream. Did I have kids? Oh yes, I’m in a hospital. Yes I did. Where are they??? Oh that’s right they are in intensive care. It was a very surreal moment and one that I did not feel I could discuss with anyone else. I felt that I would be judged.
Mummy and the girls on the 27th of Sept, 2008. Katoomba Hosp. Julia on left, Lillian on right.
So as you can see my first experience was unique due to having twins as my first children. Now looking back to the birth with our little boy in January this year it was completely different. The birth and care was so much nicer and calmer… maybe that was due to one baby this time or the fact that he was born on his due date? Maybe it was also due to not having a full room of student doctors, nurses, and two doctors for each baby, extra support people and two humidicribs for the twins. Having one baby that was on time meant that I had one midwife, one nurse, hubby and me in the delivery room. It was so nice to not have a full gallery of people there.
Due to having one baby this time, also being a good weight and being born on his due date he was put on me after birth. This was a nice experience as it did not happen when the twins were born. It allowed me to have some time cuddling our new little person and to help bond.
I did find that due to some issues with our little boy not latching on the breast properly, and having silent reflux, being fussy about things it made the first three months rather difficult. He screamed the place down due to having air in his belly and it was hard to remove! I think with age he got better and therefore after about three months he was much calmer, and this made feeding and the bedtime routine easier.
Alexander and I on the day he was born. It was nice to have the first cuddles. Look at all that hair!
Another concern was how the twins would bond with the baby. We did not know if it was a boy/girl, although Julia wanted the baby to be a girl. She wanted to be the three sisters and have a picture taken at the Three Sisters at Katoomba. As you know we had a boy and the twins are so in love with their little baby brother. They help out and dote on him all the time, he is going to be a very spoilt little boy. My worries were for nothing. Did you do this when you had the second or third child? Stress about how the other kids would go with the new baby?
Our family is complete with our little baby boy and our twin girls. We love our kids to bits, and would not change anything. It took a while to get into the swing of things and that helped us learn everything about our three cheeky monkeys.
3 tips to remember!
Bonding is a personal experience. Don’t measure or judge yourself on what others are doing.
Don’t put pressure on yourself if bonding with baby is not instant. It can take up to six months or maybe more.
Don’t confuse not bonding with not loving your baby. You’re a mum, of course, you love your baby and the bonding will happen, so just relax and it will happen when it happens.
If you are experiencing postnatal depression/postnatal anxiety or having issues bonding with their baby contact PANDA on 1300 726 306. The hotline is open from 10am to 5pm.
Due to the launch of WOTbaby the topic of bonding with babies has been in the media. I was on Today Extra with Jen Hamilton discussing the issue.
I was also featured in an article by Smooth FM called, “When you don’t bond with your baby instantly”.
Let us know how you went with your first or second or third babies? Was it the same or different? How did you go?
I was invited to an intimate ladies lunch. It sounded nice and lovely. In the city for a lunch all by myself, well with a baby so that was not that bad. However I was at the lunch to talk and to learn about the vagina. Or as some people might refer to as the front bottom, the vajayjay or their bits. I’m sure there is more slang to refer to this amazing body part.
The event was hosted by the charming and delightful Dr Ginni Mansberg and the great team from Vagisil, and also the darling Claire from Birds of Prey in Melbourne. The lunch was to learn about a topic that not many people discuss and to bring real world examples by having a frank discussion with other ladies over brilliantly yummy catered lunch.
I of course thought the lunch sounded fab, but I was rather hesitant in talking about the vagina. Why I thought? I am grown woman. I have now had three kids and of course as anyone can attest that during childbirth everyone seems to want to take a look at your vagina, and it is not something that you wince at like you once did before kids. I still don’t like all the doctors interest but you can understand it as the baby has to get out, and of course it is lovely vagina that gives it a helping hand – See an amazing body part!
My bubbles and lovely flowers at the lunch thanks to Vagisil.
I wondered how intimate this lunch would get? Would there be mirrors passed around so that I and others can look at our own vaginas? Would there be puppets of vaginas so that we can learn about where it all lives and how to care for this brilliant part of the body. I know that sounds very strange but I had no idea what the lunch would be and knew the topic was vaginas so it did get my brain racing.
Look how pretty the table was for our amazing lunch and great company. Thanks to Vagisil for the great event.
As I mentioned I was hesitant to attend, I thought for a long time. Why am I so worried? The vagina is not a bad thing. It is a marvel. Men and boys seem to be super proud of their penis so why shouldn’t girls and women be proud of their vaginas (Maybe there should be a proud vagina movement. If there is one already I had no idea). The more women talk to other women about what is normal and happening to them, the more they will understand it is okay.
In the end the lunch was nice. I met some lovely ladies, had amazing food in a fabulous location (It was at The Grounds in Alexandria, Sydney. If you have never been you will love the place. It was HUGE, a hidden little Mediterranean like farm in the middle of the city. They had farm animals for kids to look at and such an amazing amount of greenery.) All my concern over the topic of the lunch was not to be. It ended up with interesting conversation from Dr Ginni and then others joined in so we all learnt more. Very enjoyable!
Did you know?
“An astonishing 1.8 million Australian women suffer with vaginal dryness. That’s close to 1 in 4 of us.”
Take the quiz to learn more.
I too had to answer these questions while at my lovely lunch. I also learnt that I knew more about the vagina than I thought. Amaze yourself and see how much you already know.
How well do you know the vagina?
Take this quick quiz to learn more about the vagina. Questions are the same ones that I had on my ladies lunch with the lovely Dr Ginni Mansberg and the fabulous team from Vagisil.
The vagina should be acidic?
Yes
No
It’s normal to have a discharge from the vagina?
Yes
No
A smelly vaginal discharge means a STI
Yes
No
Nasty bugs thrive in a moist vagina
Yes
No
Douching is the best way to combat a stinky vagina
Yes
No
The best treatment for a dry vagina is washing with soap
Yes
No
You shouldn’t use hand or body lotion to moisturise the vagina
True
False
Only older women suffer with vaginal dryness
Yes
No
Vaginal dryness can be caused by performance anxiety, stress, menopause, hormonal imbalances, exercise, using perfumed soaps and body wash, wearing certain underwear can cause vaginal dryness.
Yes
No
Have you ever had a dry vagina?
Yes or No – This is a personal question that depends on you.
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For those who said yes, what do you think was the cause? (performance anxiety, stress, menopause, hormonal imbalances including breastfeeding, exercise, using perfumed soaps and body wash, wearing certain underwear)
It could be anyone one or a combination of all of the above.
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Have you ever had bad vaginal discharge?
Yes or No – This is your own personal answer again.
undefined
Australians are having as much sex as they would like.
Yes
No
Half of vaginal dryness sufferers don’t use any products to relieve their dryness
True
False
“A study found that of the 1.8 million women who suffer from dryness…
31% experience it more than once a week
17% experience it every 2 or 3 weeks
51% don’t use any product to treat it”
If you are one of these women that do get vaginal dryness then Vagisil has a solution for you. They have created a new product called Vagisil ProHydrate Plus Internal Hydrating Gel, this new product mimics a woman’s natural moisture and offers relief for up to three days. As you will see from the quiz, vaginal dryness does not have anything to do with age. It affects all ages. It could be as simple as stress, medicines that you are taking that throw off your internal pH levels, soaps, body washes, tight clothing, hormonal imbalances and menopause.
Vagisil have created some fabulous health videos which is a brilliant free resource. They feature Dr Adelaide Nardone who answers your questions about why pH matters, causes and also gives you helpful remedies.
This lunch really made me realise that I too was afraid of talking about the vagina. How do girls and women learn what is supposed to be normal if we never discuss it with our daughters, mums and friends. You can see from the statistics that there is a lot of women out there that are not talking about this issue.
A close up of the pretty flowers at the lunch.
Dr Ginni Mansberg, Kimba from Kimba Likes and of course me at the lunch.
Be kind to you.
Make sure you talk to your friends, your doctor about any changes that you notice.
Don’t suffer in silence.
Don’t be in pain.
Live life well and if you need help get it.
Shelly Horton and Dr Ginni talk about all the things you are worried about.
“Additionally, research shows that vaginal dryness is most likely to affect women during sexual activity. Among the women studied …
76% experienced dryness during sexual activity
69% found dryness most bothersome during intimacy”
The yummy desserts at the lunch. I had to have all 3…. Yes naughty I know.
Do you discuss things with mates? Or family? If not are you more comfortable talking with your local doctor?
Have you noticed that there is a generational change with this topic? Maybe your older relatives will avoid any topic that has vagina in it and the younger ones are not bothered?
Let us know what has happened to you.
Thanks so much to Claire and Vagisil for the invite to this great event. I had a great time and learnt a lot. I hope you have as well.
I know every baby is different and each one has a distinct personality. However I did not count on our third little person being so fussy and hard to settle.
Maybe he is a person who just likes things to be ready when he is. Yes impatient and wants it all to happen NOW! He must think why the milk is not ready when I am! Talk about bad service.
He is also a person that holds onto burps, farts and anything gassy or windy, so he has terrible belly pain. He makes such upset faces due to the horrible annoyance this can cause (I hate having a sore belly I cannot imagine how it would feel to baby that has no idea what the pain is.)
Upset and crying baby due to not being able to get the wind out of his belly. Also has to be upright due to having silent reflux.
Our latest addition is also a person that likes to be upright to be settled and does not like to lie down until he is finally winded, and finally all the gases get out of his body that can be coaxed, well within the 4 hour period of trying.
Yes you get the picture it takes ages to even get him settled and not yelling and screaming in your ear. I do think I will go deaf soon or have limited hearing on one side. I pray that this does not happen.
My new little man has a very good set of lungs and he uses them very well.
Some of these issues could be due to the fact that I am expressing my breast milk and therefore he is being bottle fed. Alexander did not latch on well at all and did not seem to get enough milk. When he was on the boob he would then fall asleep but also before this he would struggle to get on and yell and scream. This in turn would stress me out and also him and due to him not looking like he got anything we have turned to the bottles with breast milk to make sure that he is getting what he needs.
While in the hospital one midwife suggested the baby had a tongue tie. I asked what this was and she said that it is a piece of skin that is holding the tongue in a different position and not allowing it to move so that the baby can feed well and successfully. I thought that would explain it. However another midwife and nurse looked at the baby and dismissed it all and therefore it was agreed that the baby did not have a tongue tie. I ended up forgetting all about the issue of the tongue tie and just thought that I was not getting the breast feeding thing and the baby was learning as well and also just a fuss pot.
After we left hospital the community nurse came to the house to check up on myself and the baby. A lovely lady came and made sure we were all okay. She checked the baby and then announced that he did have a tongue tie. Oh gosh does he have a tongue tie and it got overlooked?
The lovely community nurse said it was a posterior tongue tie and it might be worth it getting fixed to see if it improves feeding and settling the baby. I was also told that it could cause speech issues when the child gets older as the tongue does not sit in the normal or ideal spot to form words and therefore makes it hard to speak. So good idea to get fixed. It is not yet known if it will cause issues with speech due to the baby not speaking yet, but there is a high percentage that if not looked at could cause problems.
I sprang into action. I got a referral to a surgeon at Westmead Children’s Hospital and raced there for our appointment for the tongue tie to get fixed. To get to the hospital on time I had to put the twins in before school care and also be up super early. I drove all the way and fussed over the baby when he was screaming the waiting room down while we waited for our appointment.
It was our time with the doctor now. He had no idea why I was there and looked shocked that I had such a young baby to see him. At the time of the appointment he was 4 weeks old. He is now nearly 10 weeks as I am writing this. I explained that I have been told he has a posterior tongue tie and that it is best to get it looked at now while he was so young. I also listed all the other things that the baby was doing and therefore it was other signs of having a tongue tie.
The doctor then said put the baby on the bed so that he could have a look and see what the issue was with his tongue. He did a quick once over and then concluded that he did not have a tongue tie and all was good. He said that there is nothing to cut and no issue! I mentioned what the community nurse said again to just make sure that it was right.
The surgeon then said, “It is just him then, he is fussy!”
So I have an opinion of a surgeon that rules out the fact of the baby having a tongue tie. However when I went to the local community nurse for Alexander’s 6 week milestone check she then told me without doubt the baby has a tongue tie! Oh please I wish people would bloody well make up their minds. Does he have it or not!
As a mother it is very confusing and annoying to have such conflicting views. What do you do? Do you continue to see someone for a tongue tie that a surgeon says is not there? Or do you just let it be. We have followed it up with our local doctor and have decided to see how baby goes as he gets older. Did you get conflicting information about your kids when they were little? How did you handle this?
As the local doctor pointed out; a surgeon has ruled it out so others will most likely do the same. Due to the baby always wanting to be upright we have discovered he suffered from silent reflux and found help with some medicine (Losec for babies) to treat this. I found that the medicine helped but first gave it to him during the day, however giving it at night time or just very late afternoon worked much better than during the day. There were some nights were I forgot to give it to him and he settled okay so we have decided to leave it, and think that it could be the fact he is getting older that things are settling even more. Although we have had some nights where the baby is just so over tired and out of sorts that he screams the place down.
I have found the following:
The baby likes to be wrapped.
Needs breaks during feeds and while having a break try burping and getting wind out of baby. You might get an angry face when you make the baby take breaks but it is well worth it.
If the baby does not drink all the bottle that is okay…. He/she is full and more might cause issues with upset belly and more wind.
Sit with your baby to calm them if they get the hiccups. Hiccups are the outcome of many of the upsets trying to deal with wind. Once hiccups are done and baby falls asleep again you can put him/her back to bed.
We have found that the baby likes noise and to be with people. We have put a digital radio in his room. It is on low volume and allows him to listen to Classic FM whenever he is resting. Not sure how this will influence him in the future but they do say that listening to classical music is good for brain development. We will find out when he is older, I’m sure.
Changing his environment when he is fussy. Take a walk out in the backyard, or just somewhere different is very helpful not just for the baby but also for you as well.
Make sure that the baby gets a bit of sunshine. Obviously not in the heat of the day and just a little time, say 10mins or less is good. It can help with sleep and also to it gives the baby some vitamin D.
If you have someone else in the house while you are looking after baby that is brilliant. If you have reached the end of your wits with baby then hand it over to the other person. Sometimes this helps as it is a distraction and the other person is not stressed or annoyed that the baby is not settling. The new person is calmer and can help settle baby.
Have you had a fussy or hard to settle baby? What are your tips and tricks to help the little person rest? (Or more like give you a break)
Sorry for the lack of posts lately. I have been very busy dealing with our latest addition.
Our third child was born on the 7th of January, exactly on his due date. Yes how prompt is he. We had a little boy and his name is Alexander. The twins are super excited to be big sisters and to give him cuddles and help out.
Our latest family member Alexander was born exactly on his due date. How clever is he! Only 5% of babies do this. Maybe he will be a prompt person? You never know right?
Ever since I had my third child I have had no time. Yes you can probably relate if you have just had a baby. Up all night feeding, expressing breast milk and just trying to settle the baby. The house is a total mess, laundry needs sorting, folding and to be put away. Things need to be tidied, chucked out or just put away. The essentials are happening, we are clean, have food and all is well, although life is a bit of a mess at the moment while we adjust to another person and trying to get into a routine. This is especially true due to having two kids who are full of beans that don’t seem to remember not to run, jump and bounce everywhere. It is not helpful once you have finally got the baby to sleep. Plus school drop offs and pick ups and also after school activities makes it harder to keep a routine. I have just planned to have food for Alexander, change of clothes, nappies and be ready if he needs anything while we are out.
This is my little boy. It was taken exactly when he was 5 weeks old. He looks very grown up here and also to a bit cheeky. I love the fact that you can see what he might look like when he grows up but also to that he such a cute little baby, well if I do say so myself. I am bias, I’m his mummy so I am allowed to be.
Our latest addition is hard to settle after a feed. He did not latch on well to the breast. I did try breast feeding but he screamed the place down that he had not gotten enough milk. I thought all was good as he was asleep after these feeds and then attempted to put him to bed. Once tucked into bed he screamed the place down. He gave all the signs that he did not get enough and was indeed still hungry. Oh how could you be hungry???? You have just had some from each boob and now you are claiming you did not get enough! Oh well. I did more and more and that did not fix the issue.
Breast feeding was terribly painful and I thought it would get easier. The midwives said it was normal to have a bit of discomfort and you will get used to it. They came and saw how the baby was latching on and to see how I was dealing with the feeds. I did everything they said but due to the baby being fussy and getting into such a state he was angry and then very unsettled for feeding (It was like the baby was angry that the café or restaurant did not have his food ready at the time he requested. Terribly annoying when you have such bad service!) This is not the time to try and be putting him on the boob. I then got annoyed, angry and stressed and this was the same for the child. Not ideal.
I then came to the conclusion that I should just express my breast milk and feed the baby like I did with the twins. Our new little person seems much happier getting more milk in the bottle. He is still getting breastmilk and I am less stressed about feeding and he gets it when he needs it.
Expressing my breast milk while in hospital.
However due to him not latching on properly he hurt my nipples and this in turn made me get ill with mastitis. I left hospital to only be back one night and that one night I was up all night dealing with the baby. He feeds well when it is in the bottle but sucks in too much air and therefore holds a lot of wind. Trying to burp and wind a baby is tough when it goes on for over 4 hours!
Yes, it is stressful and exhausting. Then once you hit the 4 hour mark or less you are due for his next feed and you have to do it all over again. Plus add changing nappies for a child that screams like you are killing him while you try and get rid of the pooey nappy.
I have tried to write this post for days now and today he has been all over the place and very unsettled, so I have been adding to my post in stops and starts all day. He seems to like cuddles and wants to be with you. This is nice but when you have a house to look after, other kids and things to do it gets difficult. Maybe when he finally sleeps I can sleep too or get something else done. Lately I have been more focused on sleeping, hence why other things like house and blog have been unloved for a while.
As mentioned I was only home for a short time and that time I was hot and bothered with a fever, I also got extremely cold and had the worst headache I’ve ever had (I could not handle light and found it hard to see). I had temperatures that were 38.9 and an hour after having Panadol it came down to 39.6. So not much of an improvement. I felt terrible; very ill and like I had an extreme case of the flu or more like the walking dead. I called the hospital and they suggested I come in to be looked at. They agreed that I had mastitis and I ended up having antibiotics via an IV drip and stayed in hospital for another 3 days. Not fun, the IV antibiotics burnt when it went through my vein and made me have a very tender hand for the next week or so.
The cannula for the IV. I always hate having them done. Very painful.
I did mention to the hospital before I left that I was burning up and was feeling all hot. I was told it was my hormones and that it will all settle down soon. It was obviously the infection starting and it just got worse when I came home. One of the midwives at the hospital said that I did the right thing by coming back to the hospital as she said it only gets worse if not treated.
I was convinced that I would have the baby earlier than it coming exactly on my due date, which in fact only 5% of babies do. So he is terribly clever to have done that. Maybe he heard the doctors say when he was meant to come, so thought he would adhere to that date. Maybe he might be a prompt person and always on time. I have no idea, but it is weird he came exactly when predicted.
I was so over being pregnant. I was approaching my due date and still no baby! Any week over 34 and 2 days for me was overdue; I had the twins at this time and any time after this felt like an eternity.
As I said, I was ready for the baby to come and was trying to coax it out. Here are some of the things I tried:
I was doing squats
I was having raspberry leaf tea
I went walking and tried to be more active
I ate chilli
I even had talks to the baby in my belly and was telling it that it needed to come soon as I was over it all. It of course did not listen.
As many women who are in the last trimester of their pregnancy you get to the point where you just want it to be all over and done with. I did not want to have the birth and was a bit worried about all that due to the drama from the twin birth and was concerned that it might be repeated.
My pregnant belly. Taken on 2nd of January 2016. Little did I know that just 5 days later the baby would be born.
I could not bend over. I was having pains and could feel things starting to move in the right direction but no labor had started. Damn! How annoying.
The hospital was doing their standard freak out as they were telling me that if I don’t have the baby by 39 weeks or I go over my due date they would like to induce me. What the????(The hospital said that if I go too far over my due date that could be high risk and they are not equipped for this, so if this happens then I would need to go to Nepean to have the baby) I have had an uncomplicated pregnancy. It is one child and not two like last time. I am not high risk, I did not develop gestational diabetes and have remained active throughout. I have even only gained 8kgs during the whole pregnancy so that was something that was good news for me. Although I felt like it was a lot more and I was HUGE.
I woke up at 4am on the 6th of January and noticed that things were happening. Yes 4am seems to be the lucky or weird hour that things happen. When I was pregnant with the twins my waters broke at 4am so this was strange that it all started again at this time. This was the day that the twins were going to vacation care and I had to get their lunches ready and all organised so that we could drop them off. I could not go back to bed and ended up having painful contractions that were extremely painful and I found it hard to walk and do anything. I checked the internet to see what needed to happen before I went to the hospital. The sites that I visited said that if I cannot walk and talk during contractions and if they are coming more frequently, if I lost my mucus plug, if I am in pain and not coping and so on. I thought this was all the case so phoned the hospital.
I spoke to a midwife who then said that it sounded like things were progressing and if all of the above had happened then it might be wise to come in and get looked at. She also mentioned some other things like breathing and something about pillows and my back and hubby helping. I was finding it hard to concentrate due to the pains that kept on coming and going.
Once hubby was we dropped the kids off at vacation care and then went straight to the hospital. This was just after 9am and they gave me a once over. The midwife we saw said that I was only 1 and half centimetres dilated and that I was not ready. Damn! Why can’t the baby be ready! All that pain to only be slightly ready…..very annoying.
13th of January, not even a week old.
While at the hospital the midwife told us that if we had the baby before a certain time we could come to Katoomba Hospital. If we had it after 7pm that evening then we would need to go to Nepean as Katoomba during this 24 hour period did not have a Doctor on call for the maternity ward and therefore could not have births there during this period. What the???? I go to a hospital for all my maternity care and now I cannot have the baby at the hospital of choice. Hubby and midwife suggested maybe mind power can help make the baby not come in this 24 hour period. I told both of them that I don’t think this would happen, as my body was doing things and feeling like it would be soon.
The midwife said that the way I was presenting that it will all kick off at 7pm and therefore would need to go to Nepean. I thought no way. But this lady sees a lot of women so maybe she knows what she is talking about. I thought we will see.
Hubby and I had plans to have lunch with some of our close friends so we went to the local pub all while having contractions. We went to the shops and although it was very slow going for me due to the fact contractions made me seize up and it was like all my legs, lower back and pelvis was in a muscle spasm. I could not move while it was happening, and during this I could feel the head banging to go further down…. YES painful!
7pm comes and we are reading stories to the kids and tucking them in for bedtime. My contractions were super painful and getting closer together and it was harder to talk and to do anything. They were 5-6mins apart at this stage.
I think the midwife jinxed us, as she predicted the time and the fact that it would all happen. Damn now we have to go down the mountain to Nepean due to the local hospital not being able to have us there. I called the hospital and this was a hard phone call due to being in pain with contractions coming and going. They said that we cannot come there, and that they would call ahead to Nepean and we needed to leave now due to the time it takes to get down the mountain and the times of my contractions. Oh great………a trip down the mountain in a car while I am screaming and in pain.
Hubby and I are in the car and screaming down the mountain due to impending birth (well I was definitely screaming). During our trip a P plate driver decides we are trying to race him and he revs up his car and tries to get in our way. A learner driver nearly crashed into our car, a truck nearly collected us and people did not get out of lanes so that we could get there more quickly. During the trip I of course was screaming and yelling due to the pain and the pressure was getting intense in my pelvis due to the baby pressing and pushing with even more gusto. I did not want to have the baby on the side of the road, or in the car. I was just hoping we would get to the hospital in time.
When you were pregnant did the hospital of your choice close at the time of labor or was not available for whatever reason? Did you have to race to go somewhere else when labor hit? Let us know.
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The woman in question had her other two older kids at the pool and she was feeding her 11 month old baby girl while she had her feet in the pool to keep cool from the heat. A staff member came up to her and told her that she had to stop feeding in the open.
The staff member offered alternatives such as going to a change room or putting a blanket over the baby. As it was a very hot day a blanket would not be appropriate and according to the article the baby pushes them off so it would not have worked. The older kids were happily playing in the pool and if like me you are the only adult to supervise; this would mean making the other kids get up and come into the change room with you so you can feed the baby. Not ideal at all.
Breastfeeding in public is legal and that should be that. In an article in the Sydney Morning Herald it discusses that asking women to leave or move while breastfeeding is still happening, although it is inhumane.
I think the lady in article, Liana Webster should have stayed there and refused to move. I would have. What would they have done, call the police? I do understand wanting to leave and being so upset that she just upped and went home. I can relate. It is not the same, but my local aquatic centre has stopped one of the sessions for the crèche, which means that days that I have the kids and a fitness class is on, I cannot go. I was in tears as I only got told after paying to go, to then find out that I was not able to do it due to no child care. (I got my money back thank god for that, but I am still very upset about it and left the centre in tears)
I am amazed that we are still so backwards in our thinking. We can look at the naked body, or a woman in a bikini but a woman feeding a baby is bad and considered something to cover up. I for one think that a mother feeding their child to be a great sight and a lovely image.
“In Australian Federal Law breastfeeding is a right, not a privilege.
Under the federal Sex Discrimination Act 1984 it is illegal in Australia to discriminate against a person either directly or indirectly on the grounds of breastfeeding. Direct discrimination happens when a person treats someone less favourably than another person. For example, it is discriminatory for a waiter to decline to serve a patron who is breastfeeding. Indirect discrimination happens when an apparently neutral condition has the effect of disadvantaging a particular group, in this case women who are breastfeeding. For example, an employer may impose a requirement on all employees that they must not make any breaks for set periods during the day under any circumstances. Such a condition would particularly disadvantage women who need to express milk” (https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bf-info/breastfeeding-and-law/legalright)
Organisations should follow the law and not create a climate that makes mothers want to leave, if any other patrons of the pool had an issue with it they should either move away or look away for the required time it takes to feed the baby. Why is it that the mother needs to relocate, why it can’t be the person who finds it offensive? I for one don’t think it is offensive but if you don’t want to be around it, leave. Why make the mother and the kids leave. She has every legal right to be there and so has everyone else, we just need to have a broader acceptance and understanding of others.
Has this happened to you when you were breastfeeding? What did you do? Send in your comments.
Michael Bloomberg the mayor of New York is demanding that hospitals in the area stop giving away free baby formula. Bloomberg and the hospitals want to promote breastfeeding with new mothers. I do believe that breast is best but some people due to medical reasons and non-medical reasons have issues with breast feeding.
In the article, “Call to hide formula to force more mums to breastfeed!” on Kidspot.com.au, states that mothers who want formula need to have a medical reason and will get a lecture from staff on the benefits of breastfeeding.
I do agree with the Kidspot article as not everyone can or does breastfeed, this pressure to do so, can cause more PND (Post Natal Depression) and the mother feeling like a failure. I for one had issues as my babies were so small they could not latch on correctly. I had to get a nipple thingy that goes over my nipple so the babies could suck correctly.
As I had twins, I never managed to do the dual breastfeed correctly and at home I expressed my breast milk till both girls were five months, and during that time I added formula for the night feeds. This break that formula gave me was great as it allowed me to make more milk. I expressed after each formula feed in the evening to show my body that I still needed to make more milk and also drank a pint of water after each feed. This helped me a great deal.
I don’t believe that you can dictate what a mother does, breast milk or formula. It should be up to the mother and her family. The initiative according to the article will start on the 3rd of September and 27 out of 40 hospitals will partake. It will be interesting to see what the outcome of this is.
Many comments from readers on the Kidspot article say that it is not much different to Australian hospitals and I tend to agree, I was told that I was not allowed to leave until my twins were gaining weight and were all on breast milk feeds, via actual breastfeeding. As I said before, I did not dual breastfeed and that left doing it one at a time. As a new mum you are already not getting any sleep, why make it less by feeding kids one at a time, feeding the babies together maximised the time I had to do things and for them and me sleeping. It also fostered a great routine for us, pity that routine has flown out the window, but as the twins are nearly four that is probably to be expected.
I would say that the hospitals here have a negative opinion of formula but when the twins were first born they went straight into intensive care, the nurses were ringing me to ask for breast milk, but I had no idea how to get breast milk, and I only just had them. I felt harassed and just upset about the whole situation. I eventually got colostrum but that was less than 5mls, it did get better each day but I was not making much in the early days.
The NICU (Neo Natal Intensive Care Unit) fed them formula as they needed to be fed, but they did not like it, I had no other option, although one of my twins decided she hated formula and was nil by mouth. All breast milk went to her and if extra was over it went to the other baby. You work with what you are faced with, as a new mother you have no idea if you can or can’t breast feed. This is something you think you can do until you find out you have issues. Why make things worse for new mums, give them options not hurdles.
In a post called “Breast v’s Bottle” I discuss how I felt in the early days about breast feeding with twins. It is very similar to this story but more about a father using bottle feeding to help out. This week is breast feeding week a time to increase awareness and celebrate, maybe this is why we are hearing more of these pro breast feeding stories. I do think breast is best, but it is up to the individual what ends up happening. You can plan to breast feed and not be able to. What are your thoughts? Were you able to breast feed? Did you supplement with formula at some stage or was it all breast milk? Send in your comments.
There is a lot of pressure on a new mum to breastfeed and many feel terrible if they cannot. There could be a number of reasons mothers cannot breastfeed, and I don’t think they should be judged because of it.
I for one found it difficult and twins made it even harder. After I had the girls I was pressured to have milk. I just had them and had no idea how to breastfeed. It was hard. I managed to express my milk but as I just had them I only got half a test tube and that would not feed a hungry baby. For me this was important to try as Lillian was on nil by mouth and not taking to the formula, however Julia found formula fine. I did manage to make more each day and every time I got some more I rushed it down to the NICU. However I do understand how upsetting this is to a new mum and how miserable you feel about not being able to give your baby what they need instantly.
I wanted to give the kid’s breast milk and was able to do this for about 5 months solidly. However, when I came home from hospital, the first weekend was terrible. I was so pleased to be home and not to be pregnant that I stopped drinking fluids. My milk was depleted as every 3 hours I was feeding and then expressing to feed again. I did try the dual hold to feed the girls without expressing my milk, although this ended up badly, Lillian always ended up not on properly and falling down the side of the lounge between pillows and cushions. Then I would lose Julia as well. I could not do it by myself and I had no help. So bottles with expressed milk it was. As my milk was not there on Sunday night I decided to make formula for the evening feeds to have my milk replenish. My husband asked if I had been drinking any water, and more fluids and I said no, I did not want to constantly go to the bathroom all the time. He said that this was my problem. So after that, every time I feed the girls, I drank a pint of water, and then expressed my milk again, and so it went. I was lucky to have a good supply until about 5 months and then it was only a little bit until the week before the girls were 8 months it dried up all together.
I must say that I wish I could have had 100% breast milk; however I worked with the situation. I had two hungry babies that wanted food all the time. I was not making enough and my body needed to rest to make more milk. I think what we did was the best for our situation.
So it was with great interest that I read Paul Chai’s article in the Sydney Morning Herald, about New Zealand footballer Piri Weepu, who fed his new born son with a bottle. (Piri was attacked for bottle feeding his child rather than using breast milk) I for one think it is just lovely to see a father want to be part of their child’s life. I really think the issue is up to the parents on whether they bottle feed or breast feed. Who knows what is in the bottle is breast milk, as it was mostly with us. I think the pictures of Piri with his baby are just lovely.
Why do organisations make people feel bad for what they are doing? Everyone knows breast is best, however what you do if you cannot provide this for whatever reasons. As long as the baby is healthy, developing on target, happy and hitting their milestones. There is not a problem.
Men who want to be part of this wonderful experience of feeding their child should be. The bonding that happens between father and child is great as well and should not just be for mother and baby. Having a partner, husband, father that is willing to help and to feed a baby gives the mother a much deserved break. Why is this so bad?
I say it does not matter what you decide as long the baby is healthy. What are your thoughts?
There is a lot of pressure on a new mum to breastfeed and many feel terrible if they cannot. There could be a number of reasons mothers cannot breastfeed, and I don’t think they should be judged because of it.
I for one found it difficult and twins made it even harder. After I had the girls I was pressured to have milk. I just had them and had no idea how to breastfeed. It was hard. I managed to express my milk but as I just had them I only got half a test tube and that would not feed a hungry baby. For me this was important to try as Lillian was on nil by mouth and not taking to the formula, however Julia found formula fine. I did manage to make more each day and every time I got some more I rushed it down to the NICU. However I do understand how upsetting this is to a new mum and how miserable you feel about not being able to give your baby what they need instantly.
I wanted to give the kid’s breast milk and was able to do this for about 5 months solidly. However, when I came home from hospital, the first weekend was terrible. I was so pleased to be home and not to be pregnant that I stopped drinking fluids. My milk was depleted as every 3 hours I was feeding and then expressing to feed again. I did try the dual hold to feed the girls without expressing my milk, although this ended up badly, Lillian always ended up not on properly and falling down the side of the lounge between pillows and cushions. Then I would lose Julia as well. I could not do it by myself and I had no help. So bottles with expressed milk it was. As my milk was not there on Sunday night I decided to make formula for the evening feeds to have my milk replenish. My husband asked if I had been drinking any water, and more fluids and I said no, I did not want to constantly go to the bathroom all the time. He said that this was my problem. So after that, every time I feed the girls, I drank a pint of water, and then expressed my milk again, and so it went. I was lucky to have a good supply until about 5 months and then it was only a little bit until the week before the girls were 8 months it dried up all together.
I must say that I wish I could have had 100% breast milk; however I worked with the situation. I had two hungry babies that wanted food all the time. I was not making enough and my body needed to rest to make more milk. I think what we did was the best for our situation.
So it was with great interest that I read Paul Chai’s article in the Sydney Morning Herald, about New Zealand footballer Piri Weepu, who fed his new born son with a bottle. (Piri was attacked for bottle feeding his child rather than using breast milk) I for one think it is just lovely to see a father want to be part of their child’s life. I really think the issue is up to the parents on whether they bottle feed or breast feed. Who knows what is in the bottle is breast milk, as it was mostly with us. I think the pictures of Piri with his baby are just lovely.
Why do organisations make people feel bad for what they are doing? Everyone knows breast is best, however what you do if you cannot provide this for whatever reasons. As long as the baby is healthy, developing on target, happy and hitting their milestones. There is not a problem.
Men who want to be part of this wonderful experience of feeding their child should be. The bonding that happens between father and child is great as well and should not just be for mother and baby. Having a partner, husband, father that is willing to help and to feed a baby gives the mother a much deserved break. Why is this so bad?
I say it does not matter what you decide as long the baby is healthy. What are your thoughts?
