I don’t know about you but I am exhausted.
I feel like I am running on fumes.
If you really want to know how tired I am, all my cells need a 6-month nap to be able to replicate again, that’s how tired I am!
I blame the constant stress of the COVID pandemic. The current climate has meant that I feel always on edge, wearing so many hats that it is not possible to do everything for all roles in one day and at the end of each day I feel like I have run a marathon, although I haven’t done any strenuous exercise. I also feel like I have achieved NOTHING!
I am mentally spent. I am running on empty and in desperate need of a break. I find that I am at my wit’s end.
With week 16 (starting tomorrow) and the new freedoms, we are allowed due to the higher rate of vaccinations, I am now able to go to a shop and buy something. I am now able to go to a cafe and eat, and being able to visit friends and family is just an amazing thing after four months of not being able to leave my LGA (local government area/council).
Monday the 18th of October my little boy returns to his Kindergarten class with his teacher. He is very excited and has really missed his teacher and his classmates. On the 25th of October, my twins return to grade 7 for the last few weeks of the year. One of the girls is super excited and the other is not keen as she has enjoyed working from home. Mummy and Daddy are very happy to have all kids back at school soon and we hope that all three kids really enjoy seeing their friends, teachers and getting more out of their school work with finally learning with face to face lessons again.
There is light at the end of the tunnel and having kids back at school will make the house mine again for a while. Although the time that is mine I will be working so busy on other things, the house will be nice and quiet for a change.
I am finding it tough as we navigate again through the end of this long lockdown and find that I just want to fall in a heap and not get up for a while. This cannot happen as I need to solider on and keep working and plodding along. I need to work, I need to keep going for the family and all the things I do to keep the house, kids and life going.
Oh, how I wish I could travel somewhere to rest. Somewhere warm that will pamper me and let me rest. It would be nice to have a fancy resort but currently, the only thing that I am drooling over is a beach, sunshine and being in a room that will allow me to have time alone and of course a place that has room service so I don’t have to think about anything other than rest. At this point, I could be at the local hotel and never leave my room, an easy holiday!
Lately, I have had a million and one ideas about things I would love to be working on, however, my body and mind are not in sync. I find that I am either so tired I cannot keep my eyes open, or I am not thinking straight and cannot do justice to my ideas and thoughts. So instead of doing, I have prioritised sleep and rest as I believe that my body is saying that this is needed.
Below is what I would love to do while on holiday…yes not an actual picture of me.
This not doing is also making me very frustrated and annoyed. I see all these people getting so much done during lockdown and I am just trying to get out of it with everyone in one piece so to speak.
Maybe it is the pandemic that is giving me brain fog? Maybe it is the stress of the unknown and the financial crises that we have faced during COVID? I like many of you have been negatively impacted by COVID. We have been lucky to remain well but we have suffered terribly financially. We were very close to losing everything…yes everything we have worked over 20 years to build!
I know that we have been lucky in some respects and I thank my stars that I have a job that allows remote working and hubby got a job in July that has also been happy for him to work from home. I have been focusing on what I am grateful for, my house, health of family, jobs, being with my children, and so much more. I know others are not that lucky and I am very grateful for what we have.
It feels silly saying that I feel so out of sorts all the time. I feel silly thinking that I am on edge and worried about things all the time. I know it really isn’t silly, but I think that people might think it is silly because I should be over it by now. I should be adult enough to be on top of things.
In actual fact, I just want to stop being an adult for a while. What about you?
Having things taken away from you is tough; Your job, maybe your house, not being able to travel, not knowing when things will change, what is the point of making any plans when they all get cancelled and so on!
I suppose living for years with constant stress isn’t good for you at all. I feel for all the people working hard to make sure they pay their rent/mortgage, keep food in the bellies of their families and the lights on. It is a hard slog and one that makes you super super exhausted. All this chaos also means that you are not functioning as your best self.
So I as I write this I am feeling over it all. I am cver all the crazy with kids at home. Over asking for kids to help and get attitude and arguments back, over having to be the teacher at home, over being the one policing everything, over having to be working full time, over not having time alone, over not being able to get to do anything I want to do, over not being able to travel, over having to catch up on bills due to a health crisis that was and is out of my control, over everything! Basically, I just want to be left alone for a while and for the house to be quiet for a decent period so that I can think.
However the quiet in the house and being left alone will not happen for another 18 or more years as I have children and one that is very young. I can live in hope though.
One other stress is what to do about Christmas, yes it is fast approaching and I have not organised anything at all. Have you got things sorted for Christmas? Or are you in a bit of a panic also about it? I do hope that I can work some miracles and find some things for all 3 kids that they will like, and that won’t break the bank. Send suggestions if you have them.
Tips to help you beat pandemic fatigue from NSW Health:
“Practice mindfulness: be in the moment and don’t dwell on problems or negative news of the day.
Take one step at a time: Don’t put too much pressure on yourself and allow yourself to take a break if you need it. Eat well: stay alert with a healthy balanced diet. Forego unhealthy snacks and temptations.
Stay energised: do regular exercise that you enjoy. This is a great way to clear your mind and boost your energy levels.
Rest: switch off from mobile devices or computers prior to going to bed. Give yourself time to relax and de-stress from the day to ensure you get a good night’s sleep.”
How are you faring with the end of lockdown and many restrictions ending? Let me know how you are feeling?
Maybe once all kids are back at school they will be happier? Being with their peers and being able to do things they couldn’t do before will of course make them feel better.
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