I was at a function on Wednesday. I went to hear some great women speak at the Mums Society talks this past Wednesday.
There were many tables to sit at and I chose one that had two other mums to twins.
Yes, I must have known.
Maybe there was something in the air or the universe told me to sit at that exact table.
One mum had twelve-year-old twins and a two-year-old.
The other mum had a five-year-old and soon to be two-year-old twins.
Introductions were made and we all got to know each other.
The mum of the nearly two-year-old twins, I think her name was Sam asked me the following….”How do I manage to fit everything in”.
“How do I find time to blog with three kids and everything else that needs to be managed???”
Well, if this lady ever saw my house she would be in shock. It is a mess. Sometimes it is tidier than before but that tidy never lasts long.
I do get sick of it and have days that I go mad cleaning and sorting things out. On these days I don’t get a break and never get around to doing anything for me. I use the time for myself to try and sort the house out.
Once complete and the house looks at least like a whirlwind has not been inside recently and that finally, people care about the place that they live in. My happiness at the calm, the space that has been created by removing junk and finding places for things does not last. It never does!
In a blink of an eye or even quicker the mess finds a way back to my tidy rooms. The floor that you could walk on without checking what you stepped on are soon filled with toys, mess, clothes and anything really that does not get picked up (even after a million times that mummy asks and tells kids to pick these items up!).
I know prioritise my time without kids to do something for me. Yes, the house comes second. I do wish while I was off being me and not a housekeeper or mummy that I had a cleaner or helper making sure the house was spotless. Where for art though cleaning fairy? I need some help.
So due to not having a house cleaning fairy, I do what I can. I pick the major rooms to tidy, kitchen, bathroom, and living room. They might not be 100% but they are okay for now. I do give them a big clean every now and then but I do what I can when I can.
You cannot do everything you wish to do.
However, if you manage to do something that you are wanting to do, you will be a happier person.
A less stressed mummy, a calmer version of you. Not getting to do anything that makes you happy creates frustration and anger.
You end up resenting things, people and you start yelling and being an upset individual.
Timeout for you is essential.
So answering the question of how I fit it all in. I do the following:
- While kids are at school and the baby is at childcare I blog. Before I sit down to my computer I put a load in the dishwasher and the washing machine. I clean a bit of the kitchen and then while the clothes are getting washed as are the dishes I write a blog post.
- I try and ignore the mess and get work done. It does annoy me and I wish it was all neat and tidy but if I did that I would have no time to do work while alone.
- I get back to emails in the evening or on my time alone without kids.
- Once I do a few things I then put the clothes on the line and do a quick tidy around the living room. I also if I have time tidy around the kid’s room (although now I have decided it is the twins responsibility… they need to tidy their own room).
- When the twins were babies I completed my postgraduate study in Project Management. This was all done via online delivery and I did one subject at a time to maximise success and to not overwhelm myself. I did well but it was a lot of late nights reading and doing assignments.
- I am now trying not to watch too much television. Once the kids are in bed, hubby and I watch one show and then I am doing a few hours on my blog.
- If I had the money I would have a housekeeper or nanny. This would free up my time to do more and be a massive help. Maybe when I get rich or my book is a best seller (yes world domination awaits me!)
- In the holidays I put the twins into vacation care or they visit relatives for a mini holiday. This means that I have more time to concentrate on the blog, things for me, spending time with Alexander and organising the house without interruption.
If you have the cash getting a cleaner would be ideal. Help to sort out things that you never get around to, like floors, walls, windows and countertops are a huge help. Someone to tidy up and to sort so that you can work on other things or not feel like things are getting on top of you.
I do know what it is like having too many ideas and not enough time. It is annoying or the idea that if you could only not be interrupted all the time you could be amazing. I know …… it is hard.
Choose one thing that you wish to do and give it a go. You can do some things but not everything!
Start by putting in systems to ensure that you can get a few things done for you.
Tell your partner that you cannot be interrupted between these times. If the baby cries it is their job to help out.
If you are starting something start small. If it is a blog, maybe aim to do 1 post that is wonderful each week. This way it will not freak you out that there is too much to do and causes you to panic.
To the mums that have younger twins a schedule helped me. I had them up at a certain time. Fed, and then I took them out to exhaust them. Yes park, pool, playgroup and more. If we played at home I engaged with them and did as much as I could to stimulate them to make them tired.
If they did not sleep I set up what I called quiet time in the living room. I made the floor a bed with pillows and blankets. Then I put on a movie and told them to lie down and rest. At first, they wanted me to stay with them, but I told them that mummy had to get a few things done and once done will come and be with them.
Enforcing quiet time allowed me to tidy up the kitchen or sort out the mess somewhere else or write a blog post.
In response to getting it all done, I am not doing everything I wish to do but I am trying to do a few things on my list.
I hope this helps you out if you are struggling to do something for you.
Note: I have written this in a cafe while having an ice cold orange juice. The twins are at school for their last day of term and the baby is at childcare. I’m squeezing in some work and me time while I am kid free!
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