Picture this. I am up at 3am or so. I’m feeding my baby boy.

While I do this I like to have the television on with the volume on low to maybe muted so that I can have some light in a very darken room, plus it does help while I get the baby back to bed as this can sometimes take hours.

You can imagine my shock when I saw a story on Good Morning America about a woman called, “Meghann Foye” and her book about “meternity leave”

Meghann wants all the perks of maternity leave but without having any kids!

I had not heard of this person and also about her idea of meternity leave…. I have obviously been having too much fun on my magical holiday with my new born baby.

One point Meghann made was that parents left work on time to go home to their kids. Well she can do this too. Meghann can make a point of leaving on time to go home or to meet with mates after work. She does not have to have kids to do this.

I know that putting in extra hours at the office shows that you are keen and want to do more. However this can also not be helpful to you as you will be stressed out and might burn out due to the extra hours. Maybe the extra hours are the issue… if Meghann left on time she might not want meternity leave?

I was so intrigued and amazed I increased the volume on the television but was very conscious this might delay getting the baby back to sleep. I had to learn more about this weird idea.

Well I have a nasty shock for you Meghann, maternity leave is not an exotic holiday.

It is not a time that you can just do whatever you want, although it would be nice. You are caring for a new little person that relies on you for everything.

The reality is that you are on call 24 hours a day and also 7 days a week. No sick leave, no pay, and no help really. It is just you.

When you bring home your bundle of joy you are most likely still exhausted from childbirth, you are sore and just feeling like shit actually. Although you feel horrible you still love the fact that you had the baby and think it is amazing and also a fabulous experience.

However all the lovely fuzzy feel good stuff cannot erase the whole thought and feeling that you would really like to be left alone and have a HUGE SLEEP ALL ALONE! This to date has not happened yet….I’m still waiting. Maybe I need some meternity leave now to have some time for me. This way I will get this long anticipated and wanted sleep.

I am not sure what Meghann means by perks of maternity leave?

Is it getting up at all hours to feed a baby?

Is it being extremely sleep deprived that you mix up dates and times. In reality you are really like a zombie…. I’m sure you know what I mean.

Maybe getting thrown up on when the kids are sick? I have had this times two.

Oh….. Wait maybe it is the fact that as the mother you are now the primary caregiver and you cannot get anything done without a little person or people following you around.

I do think it is wonderful that I have had three lovely little people and I feel blessed that we could do that. I also do understand that some women don’t want kids and that is fine too.

However to make out that maternity leave is like a glamourous vacation is just not so. How about you try and spend a day or even a week with me and that idea will be crushed in seconds.

Housework
Never getting to finish tasks
Being constantly interrupted
Cleaning
Washing and sorting clothes
Getting kids to school
Caring, feeding and all things baby. I do love my cuddles with our new little person and of course his lovely giggles and smiles.
Dropping kids and picking kids up from school
Taking kids to after school activities all with the baby…. Yes waking him up for everything is annoying but I have no choice
Getting the kids to do their reading, homework and other things for school. Now this is such a drama as they really don’t want to do this. I try and do this all while trying to settle and get a baby to bed, while the older two are having arguments and being loud and annoying

Do you think it sounds like there are fabulous perks yet? The only perk that I can come up with is that I have three little people that make me feel great when sometimes I don’t. They love me and I love them to bits.

I agree that everyone needs me time.

Everyone needs to be able to recharge their battery so to speak. Some downtime, a chance to chill and to refocus and maybe get the creative juices flowing again.

I don’t think that asking for time out to help with study, work or just to have a break is a bad thing. However trying to say that maternity leave is a perk is just wrong.

One place I worked for factored in some time to just be creative in the workday. This creative time allowed the staff member to explore other areas of interest, maybe learn something that would help them in their role or allow them to work on a pet project.

Me time is something that everyone should get. It is hard though when you take care of young children. It also might be hard if you are the carer of a family member. Time out is good for everyone, and also allows you to be a better mummy or carer since you had some time out. Not being able to do something for you and not having the time to do it can get very frustrating.

What do you think of Meghann Foye’s idea of meternity leave? Do you agree that it should be a thing? I personally think that you can have this option it is just called holidays or say study leave. Or maybe it is called something else at your workplace.

I personally think that if you don’t have kids or other pressures you can have as much me time as you want. I do understand people have to work and other commitments, but once you have done that, you can have your time.

Also if you figure out any other perks of maternity leave please send them my way!

I Need A Wife!

Mother having fun with her child. She has more free time due to having a wife/housekeeper. Yes that would be nice right! Image courtesy of Chaiwat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net — Mother having fun with her child. She has more free time due to having a wife/housekeeper. Yes, that would be nice right! Image courtesy of Chaiwat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

I read with interest the article, “Modern Mothers Need A Wife” that was on Women’s Agenda.
I am a stay at home mother but like to try and fit in some work for my blog and other things. I also wish to try and earn some money while the kids are at school and don’t wish to be trapped to housework in my free time.

I do understand it needs to be done but sometimes, and lately, due to being ill it has not been done at all and some areas of the house very sparely, for example, the kitchen, bathroom and bedrooms. However a glance at the house in its current state you would think a bomb has gone off and no one has been here to clean up any mess at all.

In the article, it discusses Annabel Crabb’s new book, “The Wife Drought”. Women who have stayed at home as mothers and carers have supported the careers of men and I do agree that women do need the same if they are to climb the corporate ladder and keep the home front clean and tidy. Yes, it is hard when you have to physically leave the house and work long hours. As a woman if you do have a full-time job, you end up coming home to another full-time job, the house, kids, cooking, and more! It never ends.

I know this is sexist but I still find it in 2014 that men who come home from work seem to clock off and have a rest while they sit wondering what is for dinner, even though they might have got home before their wife. Why can’t the husband or partner organise dinner for a change? I don’t understand why due to me being the woman or the wife that I now have to cook dinner for everyone just because you have not been bothered. Does this happen to you? It is assumed that you will do it even though you have worked a full day, and to also organise everything else while he (it is normally a man so forgive me if it is different in your household) sits down with a beer to unwind and be left alone to relax.

Now if I had a wife, all this would be sorted. We don’t need to reference the role as a wife, but it could be a housekeeper or helper. The dinner would be sorted, the house would be tidy, and all things that you would normally fuss about after a hard day at work or out and about would be organised. No reason to stress, no reason to argue with your partner/husband/wife.

You can be happy and ready to start the day again knowing that all the things that helps make the house run is sorted! How good would that be?

I do have a friend that is now a stay at home dad. He does some jobs from home to keep his hand into what he is skilled at doing, but his partner earns a good wage and it made sense for her to be the person that worked full time and he would look after their baby girl. My hubby has always said that if I earn heaps of money he is more than happy to stay at home and care for the girls. We have just made a decision that was better for us financially and it is that he works while I look after the kids.

Have you thought if you had a wife helping you at home your world and things would be better? Would you be able to contribute and do more? Earn more money? Be happier and not so stressed?

My aim one day is to get a cleaner for the house as I hate doing it all and it takes so much time and energy. I never liked it before kids so this has not changed. I know being clean and tidy is necessary and helpful, you even feel better in a tidy room with no clutter. I do need to do a de-clutter so I am bad as have not done that as well.

When I have a little bit more money I am hoping to engage a cleaner to come to the house as I believe outsourcing some things will allow me to do more, be less stressed, happier and of course the fact that hubby and I will not argue over who has done what. The reason this has not happened is due to cost so that is why I am doing it all myself.

Are you like me and would like a wife to help you out? If I hired a wife I would need to pay them, however, I feel upset that all my work has been unpaid. Really not fair, but I suppose we have saved the money by not paying others so it is a saving in a way. I, of course, would not expect to have someone help without payment, but if you are the type of person that loves to clean and wants to do it for free I am happy to hear from you about a job opening.

Let me know your thoughts. Would having a helper with the house and kids help you? I know I would love it.

Do you have a housekeeper or a cleaner already? How has it changed your world? Send in your comments.