Where is my old self?


Do you ever feel like you are just doing the same thing day in day out? Well I do. I know that being a mummy is hard work, and it is very important; however it is hard to stay motivated when you seem to come last for everything.

Sounds depressing doesn’t it. Have no fear I am not depressed. I am still laughing, going out and seeking help when I need it. However, I wish I could wear a glam dress just because, and the heels to match it. Maybe if I was lucky, I might even have time to put on makeup and do my hair.

Currently I just feel like a fat, unattractive, daggy dressed, stay a home mother, who gets overlooked due to having kids. I know that this is not true, but it just feels that way.  Am I the only one that feels like this? It is just a tough gig.

I think I am just craving some time to socialise with other adults, and have an assemblance of my previous life; even for a couple of days per week.  This will eventually happen more when the kids are older, so I am decided to work away at things I can do from home.  I am nearly finished my masters in project management, and hoping to start a business from home in the future.

Caring for two kids that are nearly four is a challenge, they are both on the go for nearly 12 hours or more and it is a big task to keep them occupied for this period. Upon thinking about my main annoyance lately is for time out. I understand that I have time out when kids are at pre-school, but I think it would be nice to have time out that is not on a deadline. I have a whole day, not a 6 hour window to get things done. With hours up your sleeve to do a task, I find that you only get bits and pieces of things done. This can be good and bad at times. Especially when you think you can get it all done.

I have decided to do some things that will put more of a spark into my day, and in the end make me feel more like me:

–          I dyed my hair

–          I did a home facial

–          I am going to have a bath this week and just relax

–          I want to read my magazine

–          Watch my favourite shows

–          Do some exercise, go for walks, use my Wii Fit

–          Wear nicer clothes out

–          Put on makeup

–          Wear earrings

–          Socialise with other adults

I am going to try and do some or nearly all of the above so then I won’t feel like such a dag (for those that don’t know what a dag is, according to dictionary.com, it means the following: “a person who is untidily dressed”), and unattractive. If you feel good with what you are wearing, you usually carry yourself better. I know it is superficial but it works.

Maybe the whole reason I feel so down in the dumps is that being a mother is not paid, glorified or respected enough. As I said it is one of the most important jobs to do. I am sure that other mothers out there think and feel like this. It is a thankless role and it is a pity that I am not getting paid or benefits of any kind. The only wonderful benefit is two great kids who love me, I know a bit over the top. It is nice to be there for the girls and have the ability to help them learn. I do feel lucky I can do it.

What do you do to feel like you again? Is it difficult now you have kids? Do you think that you have changed much or not at all? I feel like I have not changed, however it is just the access to things that is limiting. As the primary caregiver, I cannot just go to the hairdressers/beautician. I need to book that in when kids are at school (and there is a time limit on those days) or on the weekend. If it is in school holidays, just weekends. Send in your tips and tricks to make yourself feel great. Remember to vote for us for Best Australian Blog.


2 Responses
  • Leanne
    May 4, 2012

    I am going through same thing in regards to needing adult socialization. I only have 1 day off from my kids but that day is spent working from home. I do however do my hair and makeup when ever I go out anywhere as it makes me feel good. I do my makeup with the kids around so they are always trying to help or mr 19mth old likes to run off with things but I manage to do it, even though it takes longer. I organize my hair apts on Tuesday’s- my working from home day or weekends or even nights on the salons late night. Until I have all my kids and they start going to school and I have interaction with other parents I don’t think I will get the socialization I need but I’m content to wait till then. I’ve got so many things occupying me at home- since I only have 1 day off without kids and that is spent working, the days the kids are home I have housework etc to do so for me, meeting new people will have to wait.

  • Anastasia @ eco-babyz
    May 19, 2012

    I think most moms feel like that at one point or another, you sure aren’t alone! I find myself wearing makeup no more than once a week or two. With a 3 y.o. and 6 month old I feel like I just go non-stop and when they crash at bedtime I have to work online (social media manager) and can’t just relax. The reason I feel great right now is because it is spring, we’re outdoors most of the day – that does a lot for mood. We are going to a wedding this weekend and next, so I’m excited at dressing up 😉 Even though it is an 8 hour drive with kids! But what I really miss is the time I used to spend with my husband and friends. Now he works so much so I can stay home. It’s tough with 0 time for yourself, I know how it is! But I always try to think about the positive and keep telling myself that they are little for such a short time – I enjoy this time and I know that if I don’t stop and think about what’s important I will regret 10 years from now not living in the moment. I live in the moment, most days, and remind myself what an awesome time this is when the children are young. Sure looking forward to them growing up too!

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