Having two kids is not like having twins

by

It’s a phrase I dread.

“I have two children who are so close in age it’s like having twins.”

Really? You know what? I reckon having twins is the only thing that is like having twins.

Lately I’ve had a lot of mothers say that although they don’t have twins, they understand what it is like. Bless you all but what the?

I am not taking anything away from the hard yakka of having kids whether they are 15 months apart or five years. It’s just that having two children of different ages is not like having twins. Having twins is the only thing like having twins.

The girls at a little over 2 months.

The girls at a little over 2 months.

Like all mums of twins, I had two kids instantly – and I was a first time mum. I had no choice but to dive in at the deep, deep end. I had to get used to it quickly and woman up. Yes I said woman up.

I carried two bubs for nearly nine months then kapow, out they came. Two babies to breast-feed, two babies to cart everywhere, pack for, strap in the car, unstrap, nappy change, bathe, dress, calm, entertain, fret about. And all when you are one person.

I fed the twins at the same time every three hours or so. I woke up both babies to feed them burped them, change their nappies and then put them back down for naps. I felt like a robot with so little sleep. Most new mums are sleep deprived but make mine a double!

Breastfeeding just one bub at a time? How amazing would that be? I can only dream!

You would not imagine all the things I had to take with me to go to the park, the shops or even just a park visit. It was like I was leaving home every time I packed up the bags. Nappies, wipes, burp clothes, multiple changes of clothes, pram, bottles with breast milk in them, cool bag to keep breast milk okay and more. I felt like a packhorse!

I made sure to only leave the house after a feed and had some milk just in-case one was hungry or I got stuck. Hey, all mums do this but I just needed double of everything!

And even now when they are six and at the same level wrangling two people who want to do everything “now” or worse, yesterday because they do everything on high speed running everywhere, never walking, I wish I had an older child to help me wrangle them to a safe stop. Oh, and my kingdom for some hand-me-downs instead of having to buy two of everything – and often two of the same item but in two different patterns, colours, styles.

Mummy and the girls on the 27th of Sept, 2008. Katoomba Hosp. Julia on left, Lillian on right.

Mummy and the girls on the 27th of Sept, 2008. Katoomba Hosp. Julia on left, Lillian on right.

Mums with kids who are 15 months or say 11 months apart have children very close in age – agreed – but they are not twins!

When you have bubs one at a time you have kids at different stages of development and can leverage that to get things done but also spend special one-on-one time with each of your kids. While one is playing with blocks or napping you can feed bubby and truly be with your baby.

Achieving one-on-one time with the girls has been a challenge. I have listened enviously when other mums talk about having that precious time alone with each of their children when they first came home. Or later when baby number two is asleep so they can play with their toddler or taking toddler to the park when their oldest first goes to school.

I have found ways to get that one-on-one time with each of my girls but it has not been easy. When just one would wake in the night I often thought it was her deliberate way to get special cuddles with mummy. I still do. Hubby and I take a daughter each to different things on the weekend to get that quality alone time but we have to wait until Saturday each week when his work week is at an end.

Julia with daddy. She was 3 months old and we flew to Coffs Harbour to visit her grandparents. Her first plane trip and she does not remember it.

Julia with daddy. She was 3 months old and we flew to Coffs Harbour to visit her grandparents. Her first plane trip and she does not remember it.

Okay, okay so twins is not all pushing a bolder up a hill – or a double stroller through a busy supermarket aisle. There is no playing the noise police to ensure an older child doesn’t wake the baby. Or packing for different ages and stages when you leave the house. Or complaints about those hand-me-downs.

And I do get that siblings who are close in age can share a special bond and even be super close. Great, but they are not twins so quit saying that.

Or am I the only one that feels like this?

Do you have twins? Have you had other parents tell you they have kids that are like twins even though they are not? Do these parents think they understand how hard it was for you early on and when they are older?

Mummy with Lillian. We flew to Coffs Harbour when the girls were 3 months old. Lillian’s first trip on a plane and she does not remember.

Mummy with Lillian. We flew to Coffs Harbour when the girls were 3 months old. Lillian’s first trip on a plane and she does not remember.

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This post has also been published on Kidspot. Discuss this issue with other parents.

 

56 Responses
  • Karen @TalesofaTwinMum
    February 10, 2015

    I can totally relate to this. I guess every situation is different and having two children close together in age is still challenging, just in different ways. My worst moment came in a department store when I had a pair of 2yos in the buggy kicking off with major tantrums at the same time. A lady in the shop next to me smiled and told me she also had it hard as she had an 8yo (who was at school at the time) and a 4yo. She walked off with her quiet, well behaved 4yo leaving me behind with a pair of screaming monkeys. I was not impressed! Finally, now my boys are five they play together so nicely that it’s almost easier than having a singleton.

    I also have to confess – I had a daughter 2yrs10 months after my boys and she was the easiest ever baby but now she is 2.5 she is challenging in totally different ways to my boys (sometimes way harder than they ever were!) But that’s what they say – girls make easier babies and then get harder, whereas boys start off hard and get easier. I’ll see how that pans out over the next few years!

    Great post. xx

    • Suzanne
      February 11, 2015

      Hi Karen, I agree with you! A kid at school and a younger one at home is not the same as dealing with two the same age, and especially when they are having meltdowns. Thanks so much for your comment and insights. Love your blog! Suzanne.

  • Kate Southam
    February 11, 2015

    Hi Suzanne. Great topic. I don’t have twins but have two sets of friends with twins and another who had two sets of twins. In one case, the mum had to get her two big boys up four flights of stairs to their apartment home as there was no lift! All that stuff plus the bus carted up and down while her husband was at work.Weekends were a tad easier. I can understand why it irks to hear mums compare their close age kids to twins. I also learned something – hearing about the one-on one time – another challenge. However, as we all know from your blog, you love your twines to bits but you’re entitled to letting off a bit of steam here.

    • Suzanne
      February 11, 2015

      Thanks Kate, I was thinking of posting this for a while and have finally done it. I have had quite a number of people explain their situation as the same or similar when it is completely different. Finally my post is now with the world and I think others agree with me. Yes it is good to let off a bit of steam and thanks for your comment.

  • Trish Van Baast
    February 11, 2015

    Every configuration is different with different challenges. And you have survived. The girls have survived. Well done. You have a few good years coming up but prepare yourself for teenage hood. They will b the hard years.

    • Suzanne
      February 11, 2015

      Thanks Trish, and yes every situation is different. I am glad we have done so well and the girls as well. I am not looking forward to the teenage years, but they are soon approaching.

  • Louise richardson
    February 11, 2015

    I don’t get this obsession with being ‘special’ because we have twins. Some women seem to make a career out of being a mother of twins. Really, it’s not that big a deal, and not that unusual today either. I have three kids, including twins, and don’t define myself by that fact.

    • Suzanne
      February 11, 2015

      Hi Louise, My main point to this post was that parents are comparing kids at different ages, although close in age to twins. I am not saying that I am special due to having twins. I am just a mum that got annoyed at others comparing kids of different ages to twins, that is all. I appreciate your comment and your point of view. Suzanne

  • Tara R Grubaugh
    February 11, 2015

    ive had parents say the same to my boyfriend and i and all i can do is cringe. NO YOU CANNOT RELATE twins is the only thing like twins! am i the only one who gets annoyed when someone tells me they look like double trouble? ii don’t find my daughter’s to be trouble

    • Suzanne
      February 11, 2015

      Hi Tara, If I had a $2 coin for every time that was said to me I think I would be rich! I know it is annoying to hear, the kids are not a trouble, although at times hard work but it is a joy having them. I have had people ask if they are twins? I have said no once and told someone that one was a teenager and the other a newborn. You should have seen the looks on their face! Thanks for your comment Tara. Suzanne

  • Narelle
    February 11, 2015

    Great post. I am a single mum of twins. I get comments like that a lot but also get comments from married or partnered mums whose partner works away sometime or doesn’t help much saying they are like a single parent. There is no comparison. Makes me feel really isolated and unsupported.

    • Suzanne
      February 11, 2015

      Hi Narelle, I have a partner who works long hours and I do everything during the week. However I am not a single parent. I am lucky that hubby can help out in the evening and on weekends. It does help. I do understand it would be annoying to hear that said to you when that is not the case for the other person. I do understand it is hard being a single parent and I am sure you are doing an amazing job. I have a couple of mates that have twins who are single parents. Thanks so much for your comment, and for following the blog. Suzanne

  • jasmin
    February 11, 2015

    I have 8 month old twins (and a 2 year old) and cannot stand when people try to say ooo I had my 1 year old and another right after I know how you feel 2 at once is rough. I can only say that taking that special time for each one with just them and mommy and daddy is important from the begging that way they know that love is equal between the both or in my case all 3. And I know that it will not get easier but we hang in there because if being a mom is hard than being mommy to twins is double that.

    • Suzanne
      February 11, 2015

      Congratulations on your twins. I know having a toddler and baby twins would be a hard job. We have tried to do the one on one time with each baby since they were born. It does get hard due to me being the only person with them during the week. We make it a priority to be with each child and to spend time listening about their day and things they would like to do. Things are harder for multiple mums but if you have more kids and then twins I think that makes the work load more instantly. Thanks for the comment. Suzanne

  • Amy
    February 11, 2015

    Great article and this is your blog so letting off steam is good. I probably would have to disagree with your comment in your reply to Jasmin above though where you add that “things are harder for multiple Mums”. Everyone has a different experience of motherhood and while I have no doubt that having twins must be an extreme challenge in the early days (and maybe also later) I wouldn’t say that multiple Mum’s have it harder, some would even say that they are getting through those early days in one swoop (as hard as that swoop may be).

    I do not have twins but do have five children (the four eldest of which were all under 5 years old with the youngest being born two years later). The eldest is now in his first year of High School and the others all in Primary School so life between 9am and 3pm is a little more relaxed. To be honest I think having the first child was harder than having each subsequent one (and even harder than all five, the big wake up call that being a first time parent brings). Also, some children who are born 11 months apart (or even more) are both being breastfed, not the same as twins but a challenge all the same… and these children/families do still require double prams etc as we did. Sometimes we just have to take things said by others with a grain of salt, or vent as you have done in this article (I know you feel all the better for it) and then move on… no one else ever fully understands another person’s experiences, we can only try to empathise (or not in the case of many people I guess but we can’t do anything about them). Obviously you are doing a fab job raising your daughters.

    Amy

    P.S. You may wonder what on earth I am doing reading your blog… well a friend that happens to be a Mother of twins shared it to her facebook profile, thanks for the enlightenment.

    • Suzanne
      February 11, 2015

      Hi Amy and thanks so much for your comment. Yes you are very right about getting the kids out of the way if you just want two kids, being pregnant once is a good thing. I do understand that everyone is different and that is so for every situation. I did not think about being still breast fed at 11 months or 15 months as I did it for about 5 and half months and then had to give the kids full time formula with a little breast milk in their breakfast cereal. I am impressed with anyone with more kids than two and I just think being a mum is a hard job full stop. Fitting it all in and doing it all for all kids, parents and everyone. I appreciate your friend sharing the blog post and I hope you still read the blog. It is about parenting and many more things than just twin issues. Have a great night. Suzanne.

  • Mary
    February 11, 2015

    I have both, boys less than two years apart and then about three years later, twin girls. I totally agree with you. I hate it when people tell me that their two kids are like having twins. If you don’t have twins, you have no idea. 🙂

    • Suzanne
      February 11, 2015

      Hi Mary, wow boys twins and then girl twins. I can imagine you would hate that phrase about having your hands full. I hate it with a passions too! I hear it nearly daily. Yes you are 110% right about not knowing what twins are like and I would never begin to understand what having another set of twins would be like either. I am glad you agree with me, and thanks so much for your lovely comment. Have a great day, Suzanne.

  • Dale
    February 11, 2015

    I agree that the first few weeks would be insane with twins, those night time feeds would be a nightmare. I can’t even imagine.

    I am a single mum of a 6, 7 and 8 year old. When I got pregnant with my third, I was in the process of breaking up with their father. When my third arrived I was basically dropped off home having just given birth with a newborn, a 12 month old and a 2 year old. I had no help from family and friends. I had no car. I was completely alone. At night time they would often wake up at staggered times, I was up and down night and day. This is why I am so mental about my routines these days, it was the only way I got through it.

    I also had a beautiful cousin that had just one child, but as she had depression and mental health issues, she struggled terribly. She sadly succumbed to her disease and is no longer with us, her baby lives with my uncle.

    My point is that I think a lot of mums have struggles, some find motherhood a breeze, some face such impossible obstacles. The important thing is not to judge but to support each other! Although some say dumb stuff that might annoy us. The amount of times I hear “You’ve got your hands full!”…lol. It can get on your nerves.

    • Suzanne
      February 11, 2015

      Hi Dale, I hear you on being up and down all night with the kids. I feel for you having a new born and the others to manage on your own. That would have been tough. I too had a great routine but that went out the window after the kids lost their day sleeps, and I tried to have them have one but they would not play ball. I am sorry that your cousin struggled with depression and is no longer with us. Yes everyone has issues and struggles, and at times I despair that there is too much to do or I get upset, sick or annoyed. I know what you mean about people saying silly or dumb things and I do try to brush it off. However writing this post I thought most people would say, “NO”, it does not happen to me, and have found that others have experienced it as well.

      Well done to you for doing it with 3 little people on your own. I would find that hard, but again you learn to cope and deal with your situation. It is like having twins for the first child, you have to get used to 2 kids instantly. I just coped and carried on. Loved your comment, and thanks so much for your email. Have a lovely night or day. Suzanne

  • melissa
    February 11, 2015

    I totally agree! I have said that exact thing. I wouldn’t change having twins for anything, but only a parent of twins can totally understand life with twins

    • Suzanne
      February 11, 2015

      Hi Melissa, Thanks for your lovely comment and glad you enjoyed the post. Thanks for following the blog. Suzanne

  • Tanya
    February 12, 2015

    Hi there! I have twin girls who are almost 9. I too gave had people say ‘double trouble’ but I respond with double the love! Also that I am very efficient having 2 babies at once! Ihave a very close friend, who I met in the hospital when I went in to have my babies as she had just had her twin girls 2 days before, and her husband works away. I don’t know how she (or any of you other mum’s in the same position) managed with little or no help. My husband was and still is (although I now work 2 jobs! )home full time with me and it still is hard. Best advice I read (no friends or family near with kids) was to establish a routine. Still stick to that as much as possible even now! Although I am dreading the teenage years! But looking on the bright side, I hope to be great friends with my girls in their adulthood! Thanks for sharing!

    • Suzanne
      February 12, 2015

      Hi Tanya, I have been doing the whole kid thing during the week on my own due to hubby working long hours. He can sometimes be there or take time off which is nice but very rarely. If I need to do something I have to get me and the kids where we need to be. Although hubby works long hours, he does get home in the evening and can help then and has weekends off. So most things together happen on the weekend. I do wish that he could come home earlier to allow the kids to see more of him, but that cannot happen currently. You are very right about a routine. I have had a good one for the kids, but that was soon thrown out due to them not wanting to sleep during the day. Thanks so much for your comment and for following the blog. Suzanne.

  • Samantha
    February 12, 2015

    Oh my gosh I love this! Sharing in all my twin mom groups today. One thing I love is nowhere you black and white say it’s harder to have twins… It’s just different !! That’s what people don’t understand

    • Suzanne
      February 12, 2015

      Hi Samantha, I am glad you love the post and thanks for sharing. Yes that is exactly right. It is just a different experience. Thanks for the comment and have a great day. Suzanne

  • Jennifer
    February 12, 2015

    Last time someone told me their “close in age” kids was like having twins, my response was, “So, you had one newborn baby to care for, feed, change, hold, comfort, take to the doctors, go shopping, and then a whole 14 months later you had the other baby? Yeah, that’s totally like having twins.” Said sarcastically. I couldn’t agree with you more. Having two kids close in age is NOT like having twins!!!

    • Suzanne
      February 12, 2015

      Hi Jennifer, what a great response to this issue! Well done. I wonder what the response was. Thanks for your comment. Suzanne

  • kim strabavy
    February 12, 2015

    I agree with you! I had a single birth first then 3 sets of twins 2 1/2 years apart. They are hrown now with my babies being 23 years old now. I just wipe my brow and sigh with relief! I made it! Hold on, it gets better and easier!

    • Suzanne
      February 12, 2015

      Hi Kim, wow one kid and then 3 sets of twins! Gosh you were super lucky! I think you deserve something for getting through all that? Well done, and thanks for sharing. Suzanne

  • coralie
    February 12, 2015

    I am a mother of twin boys who turn 23 this coming week. We had a 2.5yr old daughter when the twins were born. As sad as it was and years later she told us she considered therapy her favourite saying was yes I know when the twins are in bed. My husband worked in the mining industry on shift work. So while they were really little letting them cry to give her time wasn’t an option when I was home alone. I always found time to repack the baby bag when we got home so if I ever braved a quick getaway I could grab it and run with them. My darlings never did anything together one was always about two weeks ahead of the other and they kindly (enter sarcastic chuckle) waited for each other to fully teeth one tooth at a time before the other got theirs. I had a girlfriend who had a 12 month gap and used to say it all the time. She just couldn’t see that once she fed bub and put him to bed she could go to bed as her other one slept thru I had to go wake the other one because guaranteed if I didn’t he would allow me enough time to doze before screaming out. My biggest pet hate was the double trouble saying because from where I was it was double the joy at all milestones and only a multiple mum can marvel in the bond they share with their secret language and in my boys case the shared pain, telepathic talking and the amazing shared dreams.

    • Suzanne
      February 12, 2015

      Hi Coralie, I did the same. I woke both the girls to feed them at the same time. It made more sense to me doing it this way. This way, I was not feeding around the clock. It is amazing seeing twins develop and was a magical special bond they have with their brother or sister. Thanks for your comment. Suzanne

  • kat
    February 12, 2015

    It’s really like an insult, like what you did as a twin mom is nothing. I freakin hate that, it’s just like moms with husband’s that work full time or over time saying they’re just like single mom’s! Uh no, it’s nothing like that actually.

    • Suzanne
      February 12, 2015

      I hear you Kat and agree with you. 🙂 Thanks for your comment. Suzanne

  • Anastasia
    February 12, 2015

    We have a 4, almost 3, and twin 1 year olds. Having the girls (the oldest two) was totally different than having our sons. I already had one walking and talking before the next one was born but with the twins it was everything double at the same time. Even though we hated the NICU stay we were able to get them on a 3 hour schedule before they even came home which made things easier. The oldest two can dress and feed themselves while I am chasing down to naked boys to get them to eat. When people says having the oldest two so close together was just like me having two sets of twins and it’s like “no we are on different levels of development”.

    • Suzanne
      February 12, 2015

      Thanks Anastasia for sharing. Well done you for 4 kids and 2 of them twins. Suzanne

  • jillian
    February 12, 2015

    I have twins and also have children who are just close together and in all honesty the twins are easier than having 2 close together or 3 or 4 lol. Mine r 8,7,4,4,2 now. And the worst were the 8 n 7 year olds because they are 1 year and 1 day apart, at that age you can’t even push the two together in a stroller without worrying the 1 year old will hurt the newborn. Its a whole New world of worries, will the one year old throw a Skippy cup on the baby’s head. Both are in diapers and both Will wake up together at night because the baby crying will wake a year old, just my experience, the twins at least were in the same age n stage so same size diapers n clothes instead of having to pack diff items and can’t use them for either etc…. Both are a handful until you get it mastered though and I don’t think you ever truely do you just finally make,it to a comfort zone

    • Suzanne
      February 12, 2015

      Hi Jillan, Yes good points on the different ages and hurting a new baby with a sippy cup. You are very right, until you have got in a routine, mastered what you are doing it can all be very overwhelming. Congratulations on your 5 little people. Thanks for sharing and following the blog. Suzanne.

  • Noelle
    February 12, 2015

    Imagine having triplets ! We had two children ( 7 years and 5 months old) when we found out i was pregnant . 3 weeks later There were 3 strong heartbeats on the ultrasound . Going from 1 to 5 children in 13 months . We get the same reaction from other Larger family’s and moms. Believe me its not the same !

    • Suzanne
      February 12, 2015

      Wow Noelle, that would be a shock and amazing at all the same time! Having triplets, would be another challenge in the early days again. Thanks for your comment. Suzanne

  • Jessica
    February 12, 2015

    Glad to read that no matter where you live, having twins is ‘hard’ work. I’m from Belgium and also mother of a two years old twin girls (and another daughter of 4) So i totally agree!!

    • Suzanne
      February 12, 2015

      Hi Jessica, Yes it is reassuring to find that out. Thanks so much for your comment and I would love to visit Belgium one day. Suzanne

  • Megan
    February 12, 2015

    I can’t agree with this. I have three children and my youngest two are only 15 months apart, it is like having twins. My older sister has twins and their older brother is 18 months older and she refers to them as triplets. They’re all still in diapers. It still takes major planning, and packing just to go to the grocery store. And when they are that close in age they still need the same amount of attention. The older one is jealous of baby getting mommy’s attention. I can’t breastfeed my 2 month old without my 15 month old trying to crawl on top of us. There’s no “special alone time” just because one is napping. I am at constant vigil, making sure my 15 month old doesn’t use the baby bassinet, with the baby sleeping in it, as a stepping stone to the window seal or my bed. Stop him from sitting on the baby who is in his baby swing or bouncer. Stop him from sharing his cheerios, teaching him yes hugs are good but not to lay on baby’s face. It is a different stage but like Jillian said “Its a whole New world of worries.”

    • Suzanne
      February 12, 2015

      Hi Megan, Thanks for your comment. I do get that every situation is different and some kids might allow you to rest while others won’t. Being a parent is hard and every day and situation is different. I find once I get it all sorted it changes on me, even if I have a routine. Have a great day, Suzanne.

  • Jama
    February 12, 2015

    It is NOT like having twins. Not ever. In any way. At all.
    I have five children (yep, i said five!) and my oldest boys are 20 months apart. I confess, I used to say “They’re so close apart, it’s like having twins.” I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face for saying it.
    Because when I actually HAD twins, it was like “ohhhhhhhh……wow, I was so totally off on that one.” And I agree, there are many challenges to having kids close in age, to having a lot of planning, to having to pack a lot of stuff. But still. It’s not twins. You have no idea unless you have twins, and to say it is like my husband saying, “I’m not a woman, but I understand the struggle of being one.” He can understand, he can have his own struggles, he can empathize…but he’s not a woman. And unless you have twins, it’s not like having them.
    p.s. I have a friend who has triplets, and I always say to her, “I have three older children close in age, but that is NOT like having triplets. And twins isn’t like having triplets, either.” Thank you for the article!!!!!

    • Suzanne
      February 12, 2015

      Jama, your comment was so lovely I had to say thanks. Wow, 5 kids and a set of twins in there as well. I do agree everything is different but thought your comment was interesting how you were saying it before you had your twins. I can imagine triplets would raise other issues and challenges also, and I would not understand what they are going through, although probably triple of what a twin parent goes through but with having to get a bigger pram, car and other things. I would not begin to imagine what it is like with 5 children other than super busy, as I have only 2 I applaud all mums and dads who have more than 2 kids. I am so pleased you liked the article and stay tuned for some more interesting articles on the blog. Thanks and have a great day, Suzanne.

  • Becky
    February 12, 2015

    I don’t get why it matters to be honest. Those parents you talk about are expressing that they find it difficult/challenging. That’s their reality and it doesn’t really matter whether yours is/was harder- nobody wins a medal. Perhaps they are also trying to empathise with you.

    I had children 2y 9m apart- quite a big gap- and I can tell you that having a newborn and a toddler with varying needs does not free you up to spend time with the other. It’s extremely challenging.

    Competitive parenting serves no-one. It’s hard work for everybody. I’m sure twins is especially hard- I’d be terrified if I found out I was having twins now! But why do you need to prove that it’s harder?

    • Suzanne
      February 12, 2015

      Hi Becky, You make a good point that the other parent is trying to empathise with my situation. I was not saying that one parent is better or worse than the other, just saying that similar aged kids are twins when they are not, was just annoying for me. I wanted to see if others thought so as well. I can imagine having 2 kids 9 months apart would have been challenging as well. Thanks for the comment. Suzanne

  • Manda
    February 12, 2015

    Oh dear this made me laugh… I am mum to 4yo bbg triplets and I get same from parents of 3 children close together or sorry to say parents of twins! I had a oh it’s just one more than my twins !! That made me laugh so I told her yes you just need one more boob, and just add one more nappy etc etc … Only those with the same can really relate! We all have our struggles but all blessed when we have multiple the love

    • Gen
      February 15, 2015

      Well said Manda!!

    • Suzanne
      April 16, 2016

      Manda, what a lovely comment. I can imagine you get it too with triplets. 🙂

  • edita
    February 13, 2015

    Hey Suzanne ,
    nice to read the things we think sometime.
    I am a mother to allmost 3year old boys.I cant tell you how many times I heard the things you wrote.Everytime it happens I scream inside! I do not remember the first 3 months after their birth as I was sooooo sleepdepraved I was a real zombieeee.
    Now they are older and not “that” dependant anymore but still need attention 24/24.
    I think as a mother of twins we understand eachother….but all mothers have it hard one way or the other…
    greetings from Turkey

  • Melissa
    February 13, 2015

    I agree with Becky. This post came off pretty sanctamonious. You act as if every other parent has it easy. I have a two year old and a newborn. I’ve never referred to them as twins, but they’re very challenging. Special time with each kid…what’s that? You have to nurse two babies at once? I guess my two year old just starves while I nurse my newborn. You have to pack a diaper bag for two kids AND buy them both clothes at the same time?!?! I couldn’t imagine! That must be something that only applies to mothers of twins!! But hey, maybe I’m just overtired! I’ll just go back to my easy life without twins. You win the special Mommy award for having it the hardest, congratulations!

  • Gen
    February 15, 2015

    I don’t think this is necessarily true when you have twins after one or two other kids. Probably yes if you have twins as your first children. I had two singleton boys followed by twin girls. I love that I got two at once and didnt have to do a whole pregnancy over again. I think having my first baby was harder than these girls have been. They are currently 10 months. My girls play wonderfully together and chat to each other in the morning instead of screaming for me to come and get them. Don’t get me wrong – its really really tough at times but when you are already a parent you know how its going to be and so you are prepared for it.

  • Shauna
    February 25, 2015

    I dont have twins, I had my 2 children 15 months apart but my step mom had twins after having 2 babies 2 years apart. She told me how hard it was having twins and that she absolutely never got any sleep or had to give one baby away for the night to spend alone time with the other. But she says that she’d have twins any day before having 2 babies so close in age because you can’t ever get anything done, and as a mom to 2 babies 15 months apart I see where she she’s coming from. I can’t hardly breastfeed my youngest without my oldest stripping down naked and bringing out every Lego and Lincoln log in the house. Or climbing on the refrigerator to get the Cheerios down and spills them all over the floor while I’m changing those nasty seeded diapers. And forget showers cause when you lay one child down the other wakes up. And for about a year when your youngest doesn’t really play or talk really well you have to entertain your toddler by doing completely different things. Like the toddler wants the loud corn popper push toy and your 3 month old just wants to nap in her swing. No I have no knowledge of what it’s like to have twins, but let me tell you 2 under 2 is pretty damn hard itself

  • Michele
    December 22, 2015

    Yes!! Thank you for this.. I have twins they are now 23 but I wanna scream every time some parent with two kids 11, 12,13 months apart say Oh it’s just like having twins.. Uhh nope no way big difference between the two I have told people trade places with me for one week and I guarantee you that you will never ever say that again.. I am definitely sharing this again thank you for writing this!!

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