My girls are nearly five years old and they are very good however have been at each other like nothing else lately. It seems that if one is playing with something the other takes it, one might be happy doing something and then want me to help them. I do a bit and then they get whingey when I say I need to go off and do something else. One child gets upset and wants cuddles all day and parts of the days or most of them have been taken up sorting out squabble after squabble. When it is like this nothing can get done at home and then mummy is drained and exhausted. Does this happen to you?
Is it the age I ask? Most friends I speak to have the same problems but these friends have children of different ages. Having twins is difficult as both kids want to do things at the same time, and as a parent that does not have help, it is hard to be in two places at once (I am sure it would be the same as a single parent). Do you have twins or triplets? Has this happened to you at this age?
My girls are so close and love each other to bits, however it gets nasty very quickly. Is it due to the closeness? Or just the fact that they are always together that they get annoyed at each other? I know it just simple sibling rivalry however it does wear on my patience and sometimes my patience does not hold up at all.
As you might have guessed when they are tired and hungry the behaviour gets worse, like most peoples would, so not a big surprise there. So what do I do to curb this type of behaviour?
- Tell them that they cannot hurt each other – The child that has hurt the other I take them away and put them in time out.
- If the twins are fighting over toys, I take the toy in question away from both of them.
- I give them warnings and if they continue their bad behaviour I separate them.
- I explain that if they don’t behave then they will not be allowed to go to the park, or somewhere nice as a treat.
- Put it in their context, ask them if they would like to be treated the way they have treated their sister. The answer is always “No!” Then I mention that if you treat people horribly they will do it back to you.
- Tell them that mummy wants them to be nice and good to each other, I don’t want them hurting or upsetting each other. They seem to understand this and are good. (Well for a bit that is)
Part of the upsets have come from the fact that they are more independent and want to do more. As you can imagine, some things are fine for the twins to do and others not. If it is dangerous I will not allow it. If I can , I have them help me, for example chopping up vegetables for dinner that is fine, as long as I am there to supervise.
Is there more chaos in your house lately? What techniques have worked for you? Do you have twins or triplets and encountered the same behaviour?
Did you manage to figure out a way to get peace in your household? How did you do it? Send in your tips and tricks to us so we can all learn.